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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881429">Blood on God’s Menu</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugamongoose/pseuds/sugamongoose'>sugamongoose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftercare, Bang Chan is Whipped, Biting as foreplay?, Blood Drinking, Blood and Violence, Creepy Villain, Discussions of Morality, Eventual Romance, Everyone Loves Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Light Masochism, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Scenting, Secrets, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Vampire AU, modern vampires, some actual plot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:55:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>112,855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881429</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugamongoose/pseuds/sugamongoose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bang Chan is an old vampire who very much enjoys his comfortable and uneventful lifestyle. After a business deal gone awry, he finds himself in the middle of a territorial feud with another clan of vampires. Changbin convinces Chan to acquire a human to feed from in order to get his physical strength up and stress levels down. What neither of them take into consideration is that the blood donor appearing on their doorstep might prove to be much more than an expensive dinner.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>“Being a vampire is in itself a metaphor for queerness,” Chan says, shrugging his shoulders. “Gender has little to do with bloodlust.”<br/>The corners of Felix’s mouth twitch. “That sounds – freeing.”</p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>541</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The primary pairing in this fic is <b>Chanlix</b>, but Changbin plays an integral role in the developing romance as well, hence the mess of relationship tags. I don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but there will be no jealousy/love triangle between Chanlixbin!</p>
<p>Vampires in this AU are out of the coffins (their existence is known to humans), but they are so rare that most regular people have never met one.</p>
<p><a href="https://ficbook.net/readfic/10643585">русский</a> translation by cauquet</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> [mood board #1]</p><p> </p><p>A young man slumps into the seat next to Chan’s mere minutes before pushback. He’s visibly flustered and out of breath, all but flaunting his humanity. The man’s bleached hair is brushed back to reveal a tall forehead and elf-like ears and a single silvery earring, which glimmers in the stark overhead lights.</p><p>The cabin crew is running around making sure people have their seatbelts fastened and tray tables folded, and Chan uses it as a distraction to steal tiny sideways glances at the man. He’s flipping through the safety booklet with unseeing eyes, plump bottom lip sucked between his teeth in pretend concentration.</p><p>Quite frankly, it would be hard not to look.</p><p>The unopened copy of ‘Carmilla‘ lies forgotten on Chan’s lap. Back in Sydney he went through multiple antiquarians to find one in perfect condition, but now he doesn’t feel much like reading. The bright lights of the cabin make his sensitive eyes ache, and his nose burns from the overload of scents.</p><p>“Long day, huh?” the man suddenly asks. He speaks Korean with a slight accent.</p><p>Chan turns his head to look at him straight in the eye, brows raised in disbelief that the stranger has initiated conversation. Most people steer clear of Chan on instinct.</p><p>“I just thought you looked a bit tired, you know –“ he continues while waving his hands awkwardly in Chan’s direction. Chan can hear how the man’s heartbeat quickens – it reminds him of the fluttering wings of a hummingbird. Perhaps his body is sensing the hypothetical danger better than his rational mind.</p><p>Chan smiles inwardly. He reaches a hand to tug at the rim of his knitted beanie.</p><p>”I look like this all the time.”</p><p>The man doesn’t seem to know how to answer, mouth opening and closing uselessly a few times.</p><p>“I don’t look <em>that</em> bad, do I?” Chan jokes. He taps at the inner corner of his eye with the pad of his pointer finger, knowing by heart how the purple shadow glows through his thin, pale skin.</p><p>“Of – of course not,” the man hurries to say, and Chan nearly feels bad for teasing him.</p><p>The blond man appears slim and bony under his thick hoodie, but there is a sense of intense liveliness to him. His hands are in constant search of something to hold, to touch, and his leg bounces once in a while. It’s a drastic difference to Chan’s content stoicism.</p><p>”I think I’ll try to get some sleep. I had the longest layover because of these cheap online tickets,” he explains as if Chan has actually showed interest. The man has a beautiful smile, even though it’s a nervous one.</p><p>”The way you pronounced ’layover’ – Aussie, right?” Chan asks in English.</p><p>”Yeah,” the man says, delighted. ”Name’s Felix.”</p><p>Chan hesitates, as his own name holds certain renown. Probably nothing to a foreigner, though, so it should be safe.</p><p>”Bang Chan.”</p><p>Felix doesn’t flinch, which means his guess was right. The man is only seeing the image Chan is trying to portray, for now.</p><p>”Nice to meet you,” Felix says, leaning in, and Chan can almost get a clean whiff of his exposed throat. <em>Almost</em>. Chan despises airplanes for this very reason. The air inside the cabin is circulated through filters that leave organic scents distorted and chemical, stripping them of all useful information. Not being able to rely on his superior sense of smell is unnerving. He doesn’t know how this Felix-person is feeling, can’t get a sense of him.</p><p>He could be mocking Chan right now, for all he knows.</p><p>“Likewise,” Chan belatedly replies.</p><p>He fully expects it to be the extent of their conversation, and for a few minutes it seems like it. Chan opens his novel and reads the first paragraph eleven times. Felix keeps shifting the position of his legs, equally distracted.</p><p>As soon as the plane takes off, they experience some heavy turbulence. Felix seems intimidated by the frequent tremors and the thick, dark clouds they are climbing through. Chan can’t still smell his fear, but his heartbeat is revealing enough.</p><p>Chan feels his tongue tingle with the urge to say something, but he fears that bringing attention to Felix’s distress could be uncalled for.</p><p>Felix darts his eyes to Chan, wide open and anxious, and his self-restraint crumbles. “Do you want to talk?”</p><p>“That would be nice,” Felix says sheepishly, licking his lips.</p><p>“I’m good at listening,” Chan adds, earning a small nod of appreciation from Felix.</p><p>Chan places his elbow on the armrest between them, angling himself so that he can comfortably look at Felix. “What would you like to tal–“</p><p>He’s rudely interrupted by a particularly large air pocket which sinks the plane down by at least a couple of metres. Felix yelps and grabs the side of Chan’s arm on instinct. He lets go after a split second, as if holding the ice-cold skin has caused him physical pain.</p><p>“Wait,” Felix squeaks, his fear of flying long forgotten, “how are you so damn cold?”</p><p>Chan leans back in his seat. Felix seems incapable of putting two and two together, and Chan knows he needs to give him time, let the slow realisation simmer in his mind. It’s rather enjoyable to observe Felix’s internal struggle close up – in his natural habitat Chan wouldn’t be mistaken for a human in the first place.</p><p>Felix takes a deep breath. “So you must be, uhm. Yeah.”</p><p>It’s difficult not to smile. Felix looks utterly lost. Confused, but not repulsed per se.</p><p>Chan pulls off his black beanie and runs a hand through his dark hair. He knows it makes him look instantly more aristocratic. After all, he has a certain reputation to uphold.</p><p>“Vampire, yes,” he states in a neutral tone. “Honestly speaking, I didn’t know I could be that human-passing.”</p><p>“Human-passing,” Felix repeats in a breathy voice. He’s staring at Chan’s exposed forearm, the same patch of skin he accidentally grabbed. “So that’s why you’re wearing nothing but a t-shirt.”</p><p>Chan can’t help but chuckle. “Smart observation. I can’t really get any colder than I already am.”</p><p> They fall into a brief silence, but it isn’t a particularly uncomfortable one. Felix doesn’t break eye contact, perhaps trying to see if there’s a hint of red in Chan’s irises. There isn’t of course, as Chan was sure to have an entire bag of blood at the hotel, just in case someone happened to get a massively bleeding wound during the flight, and he would have to put up with the smell of fresh blood straight from an artery. It's a slim chance, but Chan likes to be prepared for everything.</p><p>When Felix still doesn’t speak, Chan clicks his tongue and says, “look, it’s okay if you don’t want anything to do with me. I’m very good at pretending to be dead.”</p><p>“No, I was just surprised,” Felix quickly says, his composure perfect.</p><p>“Because I don’t go around running in a velvet cape?”</p><p>Felix’s eyes twinkle. “I bet you own a cape or two.”</p><p>“I won’t confirm nor deny.”</p><p>A flight attendant comes by to take drink orders. Both of them politely decline, Felix’s reasons most likely financial.  </p><p>“So – are you returning home from important vampire business, or –?” Felix asks.</p><p>“I guess you could say that. I’m coming from Sydney but couldn’t take a direct flight. The flight time would’ve been too long,” Chan explains. He straightens his legs as far as they go, which is not much considering that Changbin bought him an economy class ticket just to fuck with him.</p><p>”Oh, because of the uhm. Sunlight.” Felix grimaces at the last word as if it’s some kind of horrible curse word.</p><p>Chan hums affirmatively. The way Felix tries to be considerate is quite charming actually.</p><p>Felix looks like he wants to say something else, but his words are cut off by a particularly chubby toddler who starts screaming at the top of his tiny lungs across the centre aisle. The background noise of the plane is straining for his sensitive ears in its own right, so the added decibels make Chan almost nauseous with sensory overload. Another good reason for him to hate aviation. Felix seems to sense his discomfort, as he waits quietly for the parents to calm their baby down.</p><p>Suddenly, Felix starts grinning, which makes his nose scrunch up. Chan can sense that something silly is about to come out of his mouth. He’s not disappointed.  </p><p>”So, you have like fangs or – something?” Felix looks like a child in a sweet shop.</p><p>”You’re genuinely asking me that?” Chan chuckles low from his chest. “They don’t teach that in primary school?”</p><p>“I’m Australian. Do you really think vampires would settle down in a hot and humid place like that?” Felix asks, but he catches himself before Chan gets to respond. “But the way you speak –”</p><p>This time Chan interrupts him mid-sentence. “I was born in Korea, but I’ve spent long periods of time in Sydney, hence the accent,” he explains. “You are correct, though, the vampire population in Australia is quite small. Nothing like the community in Seoul.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>“I won’t pop my fangs out just for you to ogle at. If you really want to know, you’ll have to find out yourself,” Chan continues.</p><p>Felix shivers from head to toe, and Chan wishes once again that he could smell the rapidly changing emotions in him. They must be absolutely <em>delicious</em>.</p><p>Merely the thought of Felix’s scent awakens the dormant predator in Chan. It’s the primitive urge to engage in the chase, even if he knows it won’t lead anywhere. The hunt alone is thrilling enough, especially when the pray is this brazen.</p><p>”What is your blood type, Felix?” Chan asks, allowing his larynx to drop to create a huskier, deeper voice.</p><p>Felix hides it amazingly well, if he gets scared. He doesn’t even recoil to the side like Chan has expected.</p><p>”It’s AB. But most people ask for age first,” Felix replies.</p><p>”Age has little relevance to me.”</p><p>”And blood –?”</p><p>Chan lets out a soft laugh. The banter is refreshing. He has grown unaccustomed to the way human minds work. The creatures are always so unpredictable and fascinating.</p><p>“Blood is lives.”</p><p>Felix raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question his cryptic words.</p><p>“May I give you a piece of advice?” Chan asks. “Just as a hyung who knows how expensive and difficult Seoul can be to navigate.”</p><p>“Uhh, sure.”</p><p>“I don’t know what has been promised to you. With your looks it might as well be a career as an idol or a model. Or perhaps you just want to see the world and hook up with cute Korean girls before succumbing to the values of capitalism. Either way, you should remember what kind of assets you have.” Chan pauses to move his hand over Felix’s. He doesn’t touch, just points at the man’s lithe wrist. “With your rare blood type and appearance, I assure you you’ll never go hungry if you only know where to look.”</p><p>Felix seems to understand the implications just beneath the surface, because he yanks his hand away like it has been burned and cradles it carefully in his lap.</p><p>The man’s gaze hovers over Chan’s mouth, clear indication that his imagination is going into overdrive. “And wh– why do you feel the need to jump to conclusions about my life?” He clears his throat, loudly. “Are you perhaps alluding to –“</p><p>Chan sighs deeply. “Of course not. I’m a civilized vampire. But I’ve also lived a damn long time, and I know how the world operates. One day you’ll be on top of the world, and the next people treat you like a stray kid begging for a bowl of stew. You need to be careful and smart, know your worth.”</p><p>“Aren’t you a fun person, <em>hyung</em>,” Felix says, oozing sarcasm.</p><p>Chan smirks and reopens his book. This time he’s determined to start reading.</p><p>“See Felix, I’m technically not a person. I’m dead.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The plane lands at Incheon not long before sunrise, and in the scramble to get his luggage from the conveyor and confirm there was going to be a chauffeur with a light-proof car waiting for him, Chan loses sight of Felix. He knows he has managed to frighten and offend the young man, but he doesn’t exactly regret the decision. He would rather see Felix survive in the harsh world than to trip over his sweet naivete and end up in harm’s way.</p><p>Chan’s only regret is that he didn’t get the opportunity to see Felix smile one last time, the smile of a free soul in the prime of his young adulthood. It won’t be long before he unavoidably becomes like the rest – hard-boiled and cynical.</p><p>Chan retrieves his suitcase and takes a final glance at the terminal hall. No bushy blond hair or a row of gleaming white teeth in sight. Just as he realises he’s being ridiculous and oddly clingy towards the young man, a staff member comes to escort Chan into the light-proof parking garage in the basement, rescuing him from his suddenly budding obsession.</p><p>The early morning traffic doesn’t seem to be that bad, although Chan can’t exactly see for himself. The windows of the car are tinted pitch black with special film to reflect UV light.</p><p>Chan isn’t able to enjoy the leisurely morning drive for long. His phone buzzes in a demanding tone, and the light from the screen is enough to lit up the passenger compartment in an eerie, electronic glow. It is beyond rude to bother a vampire at the break of dawn, as it is the critical moment defining whether the undead finds shelter and survives to see another rising moon. Even all of his human associates are well aware of the social norm.</p><p>Chan brings the phone reluctantly to his ear. ”I’m on my way. Can it wait thirty minutes?”</p><p>”It most definitely can’t.” Changbin’s voice at the other end is barely recognisable, void of the usual layers of fondness and respect. ”You need to get home right fucking now.”</p><p>It makes Chan perk up, alarmed. He knocks on the glass that separates him from the driver, and the intercom is promptly switched on. He racks his brain for the name – he must’ve at least heard it before since the young human often helps them with day-time errands.</p><p>”Excuse me? It’s – Jeongin, right?” he asks.</p><p>The slightly distorted voice of the young man comes through immediately. ”Yes, sajangnim?”</p><p>”Aish, I remember telling you not to call me your boss – ahh<strong>,</strong> never mind. I need to get back to Seoul as fast as possible. I’ll take care of the possible speeding tickets.” He spits the words out quickly and anxiously, knowing that Changbin is still at the other end of the line.</p><p>”Yes, sir,” Jeongin answers. Chan can feel how the motor of the car wails as it’s pushed to its limits. They are moving much faster than before.</p><p>”Talk to me, Changbin.”</p><p>”No hyung,” Changbin scoffs, ”you talk to me. What the hell did you do in Sydney that we have the whole Park clan coming after us? Hyunjin was jumped on his way home by some of their goons. Almost punched his right fang clean off. He crawled home right before sunrise and coughed up blood on the Persian carpet. It was a mess.”</p><p>Cold, dense worry sloshes inside Chan’s belly, like he’s been pumped full of dry ice. It’s Changbin’s uncharacteristically serious tone of voice, Hyunjin’s injury. The young vampire is tough, but street-smarts only get you so far.</p><p>But the absolute worst thing is the fact that Chan is stuck in a tiny metal enclosure barely warding off the treacherous morning sun, which means he can’t do anything. He can’t be there to make sure Hyunjin is okay, or that Changbin doesn’t do something reckless and stupid while angry.</p><p>“Maybe they were just some rogue thugs who mistook Hyunjin for an easy target,” Chan suggests, even though it makes no sense even to himself. No one in their right mind dares challenge his clan members, and much less ambush them with uneven numbers.</p><p>As expected, Changbin is quick to turn the theory down. “This was not a random attack. They – they held Hyunjin down and beat him to send a message.”</p><p>A wave of bright red anger is making Chan’s vision go blurry. His teeth feel heavy on his tongue, and it takes much of his self-restraint not to let his jaws fall open and <em>growl</em>.</p><p>”Tell me you can fix this,” Changbin says with a tinge of desperation in his voice, and it startles Chan back to reality.</p><p>”Listen, I left Sydney thinking the deal went smoothly. Either there was a huge miscommunication at someone’s end, or we got fucked over.”</p><p>”I haven’t heard you swear like that in a century, makes you sound weirdly sexy,” Changbin says in an attempt to lighten the mood. He must have realised how close to breaking point Chan was only a moment ago. ”Wait, hyung, Hyunjin wants to say something. It’s actually kind of funny how he’s got this lisp because the injured fang won’t fully retract. He can’t even fully clo–”</p><p>Suddenly there is a loud, banging noise, and something shatters close to the phone’s microphone. The sound is so deafening that Chan has to jerk the device away from his ear. Next, an unfamiliar voice yells something, but Chan can’t make out the words.</p><p>”Changbin? Hyunjin?” Chan cries out, hand gripping his phone so tight he might very well end up bending the aluminium frame. ”Answer me!”</p><p>But there is only static left, and Chan lets out a howl of despair, knowing someone has breached their lair as the merciless sun climbs over Seoul.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chan is like the biggest softie under all that bravado I swear!</p><p>Find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Persona</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix pulls his hood up as he steps out of the terminal building. The air outside is crisp and humid with morning dew, and he can already feel how the tips of his ears start turning pink at the low temperature.</p><p>It hits him right then and there, the gut-wrenching realisation that Felix is on his own for the first time in his life. His arms hang limply at his sides, old suitcase full of cheap clothes tucked between his knees like it’s something valuable. If the unsolicited advice of a painfully attractive vampire stranger is anything to go by, he’ll end up on the streets in no time, with no other options left but to sell his oh-so-rare blood to some jerk with fangs just to buy some jjajangmyeon to fill his belly.</p><p>The hurtful words don’t seem too far-fetched now.</p><p>It irks Felix to no end how the strange vampire managed to dig his claws into every little wound and scar on Felix’s body and rip them open and sore all over again.</p><p>As it so happens, very few people even know he has left Australia, which means he has not safety net  – first strike. Felix has absolutely no money to his name, not even for a plane ticket back home – second strike. He has a plan, but it has more holes than the average colander – <em>third strike</em>.</p><p>“Felix?!” Someone shouts cheerily. “Yongbokie, over here!”</p><p>Felix turns his head slowly, blinking until a man waving an obnoxiously large cardboard sign comes into focus.</p><p>“Jisung? Oh my god, you actually came all the way here!” Felix exclaims, and suddenly all of his bubbling anxiety gets drowned out by something more urgent. He rushes forward and literally throws his suitcase on the floor next to their feet, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around the slightly shorter man. Jisung smells like sunshine and men’s bodywash, and it strangely feels like coming home.</p><p>Even though it’s the first time the two meet each other.</p><p>Felix reluctantly slips out of the embrace, holding the man gently at arm’s length. Jisung is all smiles and glossy dark hair, cheeks still round and soft from lingering baby fat. He’s dressed in a trendy way, shiny combat boots and an oversized jacket making him look much stockier and cooler than he actually is.</p><p>Jisung is the person who taught him Korean, comforted him when he cried, told Felix he is a good person. They both like American rap music and moderately spicy food. Felix knows Jisung is charming and funny and spontaneous. So spontaneous in fact that he didn’t even bat an eye when Felix FaceTimed him in the middle of night and asked if he would take him in for a few months. The next day Jisung had texted him, telling that there would be a job waiting for him when he arrived. A place where they wouldn’t ask too many questions.</p><p>Before Felix lets his mood sour, he pinches Jisung’s chubby cheek. It makes them both giggle.</p><p>“Yah, what’s all this?” Felix asks with a near-painful grin plastered on his face. He grabs the edge of the cardboard with his hand. It reads ‘Welcome Koala’ in a childish, multi-coloured font and with a crude drawing of the animal on the side.</p><p>“I thought you wouldn’t mind a little welcoming committee. Besides, you should appreciate it more that I dragged myself out here at the crack of dawn,” Jisung complains. He proceeds to emphasise his point by smacking his fist hard into Felix’s arm. It stings a little.  </p><p>“Ouch that hurt.” Felix rolls his eyes, but the more he looks at the koala with ridiculously large eyes, the more fondness he feels.</p><p>He has to clear his throat before speaking. “Alright, thank you for the thoughtful gesture. I’m sure it was pure torture to wake up so early. How did you come here, anyway? Do you have a car?”</p><p>“Of course I don’t, you dummy. But I have the next best thing – I know where we can get bus tickets on the cheap!” Jisung exclaims, and then he turns on his heels and starts skipping towards the bus stops, the cardboard placard flapping wildly in the morning breeze.</p><p>Felix takes too long to gather his bags and ends up having to jog after the man who isn’t even looking back to see if he’s following or not. In his rush Felix fails to notice a car coming out of an underground parking garage. He barely manages to scoot out of the way in time with his heavy luggage. The car is weirdly shaped, and the backseat windows are tinted so dark it’s impossible to see inside.</p><p>Jisung notices it as well, and he starts laughing.</p><p>“Maybe you were on the same flight with some hotshot superstar,” Jisung suggests, still smiling, and Felix returns the burst of emotion with all he has left in his chest, deflating like a balloon. For now, he decides not to feel anything, just to function until they have reached the safety of Jisung’s home.</p><p>At first the new approach works out quite well for him, as he’s able to doze off against Jisung’s shoulder, but then he has a dream, part awake and part asleep where the lines of reality blur and bleed into each other.</p><p>Jisung feels hard and cold against his cheek, and when Felix looks up, he sees crimson red lips and pale skin and something sharp and incredibly shiny, snapping at his neck. He jolts fully awake with a half-scream, muffled by the sleeve of Jisung’s jacket, and everyone in the bus turns their head to stare at them.</p><p>By the time they reach Seoul, Felix walks and feels like a zombie on life support, and Jisung has to carry his bags upstairs. Instead of going straight to bed like Felix wanted, they sit down in the kitchen to talk. Felix lets it slip that he hasn’t eaten anything in over twelve hours, and soon two portions of ramyun bubble happily on the stovetop. At some point during their sleepy debate on the subject of the best brand of instant noodles, Jisung asks about the dream Felix had. It’s an offhand comment, but it makes Felix’s skin crawl nonetheless.</p><p>“I was just wrung out and hungry after the long flight,” Felix deflects.</p><p>“So, you were about to scream bloody murder from the lack of Shin Ramyun in you diet?”</p><p>Felix rubs his eyes, frustrated.</p><p>“Okay, there was this one creepy dude sitting next to me on the plane,” he admits. The words feel sticky on his lips as they trickle out. He takes a nervous sip of his water, but it does little to help.</p><p>“Was he hot-creepy or just creepy-creepy?” Jisung smirks with his slightly crooked upper teeth on full display.</p><p>Felix swats him in the arm, but his cheeks feel hot. He’s used to Jisung’s flirtatious and upfront comments online, but it’s a different story when he’s sitting right across the table, eyes intent on Felix’s.</p><p>“Yah, that was not the point. It was just – weird.”</p><p>For some reason Jisung’s smile widens. The chair creaks as he tilts the cheap plasticky thing on its hind legs.</p><p>Felix observes him, unimpressed. “Were you always this intolerable?”</p><p>Jisung nods easily. “You just had no idea because you’re so bad at reading hangul. All my genius jabs went right over your head.” </p><p>“Do you want to hear about this guy or not?” Felix says while lowering his voice by an octave. Jisung lets the chair legs drop down to the floor with a loud thud, and he presses his mouth into a thin line. Naturally, the mischievous glint in his eyes doesn’t dim in the slightest.  </p><p>Felix sighs. “Good enough, I guess.”</p><p>He stops for a moment to stare at the clock behind Jisung’s head, wondering briefly if someone has noticed his disappearance by now.</p><p>“You see, the guy looked normal enough at first,” Felix starts again, “but he was sitting in his seat in a weird way. Super rigid and unmoving and with his eyes looking strictly at the back of the seat in front of him. It was as if he didn’t even notice I was there.”</p><p>Something flashes behind Jisung’s eyes, but he doesn’t interrupt.</p><p>“I tried to ignore him for a while, but he looked tired and kind of unwell, so I thought I should at least say something, make sure he was okay. We started a little conversation, and as it turns out – the man was a – a <em>vampire</em>.” Felix all but whispers the last word.    </p><p>“Oh,” Jisung says with his lips round and pink, but his mellow reaction is somewhat of a disappointment to Felix.</p><p>“Oh?” Felix repeats.</p><p>“Well what can I say? That’s vampires for you. They may look sickly and weak at first, but you should never underestimate them.”</p><p>Felix’s blood runs cold at his friend’s words.  </p><p>”You know a lot of vampires?” he asks, voice carefully controlled.</p><p>Jisung spreads his mouth into something between a smile and a grimace. He’s thumbing at the edge of the table, and a thin splinter flies off at the scrape of his nail. He doesn’t bother to pick it up from the floor.</p><p>”Only one,” Jisung answers after a long time.</p><p>Felix looks at his friend squirm, and he feels a twinge of guilt for bringing up the topic. He opens his mouth to say Jisung doesn’t have to explain further, that it’s okay to keep things from a person he has met for the first in real life less then two hours ago, but Jisung is faster.</p><p>”I had this one hyung. He was always nice to me and cute as a puppy.” Jisung pauses to swallow audibly. ”We had a lot of fun together.”</p><p>It’s clear what kind of fun Jisung is talking about, it’s written on his face. Felix’s face burns incredibly hot.</p><p>”What happened?” Felix asks, knowing there is no way the story has a good ending, not when Jisung’s eye turn glossy with barely contained sorrow.</p><p>Jisung clears his throat, and then he lets out an airy fake laugh. Felix knows they’re threading on thin ice – it’s evident from the way the man’s nostril’s flare and shoulders bunch up, how he refuses to look Felix straight in they eye.  </p><p>“It’s all in the past now,” Jisung says with such an unconvincingly cheerful expression that the conversation loses all relevance in an instant.  </p><p>Felix nods profusely, trying to shake off the mental image of Jisung with bite marks all over his neck, cornered by a faceless vampire who speaks in a honeyed voice. There is no way someone like that could be cute and a lot of fun to be around.</p><p>“Why do you like him?” Felix blurts out, realising far too late that he has used present tense. On top of that the question is all wrong, Felix doesn’t understand how someone can like a vampire in the first place.  </p><p>“I said already, it didn’t work out.” Jisung’s voice is icy.</p><p>Felix realises then that he doesn’t really know anything about the personal life of the man he’s going to share a one bedroom flat with for the foreseeable future. And even though they are the same age, Felix is basically at his mercy.</p><p>“So, about the job you got us,” Felix says, desperate to change the subject before Jisung cries or punches him in the face.</p><p>Jisung attempts a confident smile, but it’s partially ruined by his slumped posture.</p><p>“So, it’s this really cool club in Itaewon. The sajangnim there is really chill. I told him that my friend Lee Yongbok from Wonju is looking for work in Seoul, and he offered you the job on the spot.”</p><p>Felix crosses his arms and says, “But I have never been to Wonju. I don’t even know where that is.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Jisung says with a mildly reassuring wave of his hand, “I also mentioned that you’re very shy and reserved. You just need to say ‘yes sir’ to everything he tells you to do, and no one will find you out. No working visas required,” he proclaims with a wink, evidently proud of himself.</p><p>Felix frowns. It doesn’t seem all that simple, but Jisung is smiling like a fool and carefully arranging bowls of ramyun on the table. The food smells heavenly after his involuntary fast.</p><p>“You’ll mainly work as a busboy, clean the tables and other easy stuff like that.” Jisung explains, blowing on the steam rising from his bowl. “I’d like to become a bartender at some point, but you need to wait until your Korean becomes better, I think.”</p><p>Felix lowers his gaze to stare at his noodles.</p><p>
  <em>Why did I come here and leave my life behind just like that?</em>
</p><p><em>Because you had to</em>, a small voice replies.  </p><p>“I’m sure everyone will adore you,” Jisung says, as though he can sense Felix’s hesitation.</p><p>“Why’s that?” Felix asks, and his throat feels extremely dry despite taking frantic sips of his water just minutes earlier.</p><p>“See, the club is a bit more exclusive in nature. Expensive to get in, royal service for VIPs and select patrons. The boss says having pretty staff members brings more profit. He asked to see a picture of you, and when I showed him your Insta, he didn’t want to know anything more after that.”</p><p>Felix registers his friend smiling like everything has worked out wonderfully, like it’s been a perfectly good hiring tactic, but hearing Jisung put it like that makes Felix borderline nauseous. Chan’s earlier words start ringing in his ears like a mantra, loud and clear as if the vampire is sitting right next to him – <em>know your assets, Felix</em>.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Jisung rents a tiny rooftop flat in a slightly shadier part of the city. There is a tattoo parlour, 7-Eleven, and a dry-cleaners at the ground level of his building, and all three establishments seem to have entirely separate customer bases. The tattoo shop customers aren’t even the most intimidating ones. It’s the tiny ahjummas running their errands they have to be constantly wary of.</p><p>But at least they have a roof over their heads and a beautiful vantage point overlooking Seoul just outside the front door.  </p><p>On most nights they would come home from work sweaty and exhausted, and they would drink cheap beer from cans hidden in a crate on the rooftop terrace. They would watch the inky night sky turn peach and pink, and after that crash into bed at dawn like vampires, clutching each other for warmth.</p><p>The job is easy and pays well, nice even as long as Felix doesn’t have to interact with the customers. Their job as bussers is to be on lookout and snatch empty glasses from under patrons’ noses and alert the bartender to prepare another one. Sometimes, after a strong drink or two, the customers seem to pay a little too much attention on how Felix has to bend over the table to reach something, but no one ever addresses him or Jisung directly. They’re merely pretty dolls to be stared at. A part of Felix wishes that one of them would get caught grabbing his ass or shouting something disgusting after him as he walks back to his post. That he would know how to handle, smack them in the face and leave with his head held high. But <em>looking</em> isn’t illegal, and Felix can do nothing but bow and cower in misplaced shame.  </p><p>It no longer is such a miracle that Jisung had befriended (and been seduced by) a vampire, either. Felix knows there’s a back door to the club with two scary bouncers guarding the space with their life. Only a few staff members are allowed in there to bring refreshments and clean, but even they don’t really talk about what happens behind closed doors.</p><p>A few times Felix has managed to catch a glimpse of someone coming out to the club side. Those people tend to look dazed and tired, with stupid smiles plastered all over their faces. They wobble through the door on unsteady feet and make a beeline for the dance floor, swirling around and flailing their arms wildly until security comes collect them. It’s never the same people, though. Some are young, barely legal from how they look, and some are middle-aged men and women in business wear. But everyone looks damn happy, like they’ve all found the definitive answer to some fundamental question about the meaning of life. Their complete lack of self-restraint makes Felix uncomfortable, so he prefers to look away until they are taken out of sight.</p><p>One night their manager, a man with soft features and perpetually suspicious eyes, grabs Felix by the arm and guides him to the staff break room. He sits Felix on the worn-out leather couch and pushes a bottle of water into his hands. Manager Min himself doesn’t sit down, he just leans against the row of staff lockers and crosses his arms. He’s dressed in an all-black designer suit to differentiate him from the other staff members who wear black t-shirts and jeans.</p><p>The whole situation is a weird mix of intimidating and mellow, full of mixed signals. It doesn’t help at all that Felix can never read his dark eyes and almost absent expression. As if the man is bored and scared of being stabbed to death at the same time.</p><p>“How do you like it here at <em>Persona</em>?” the manager asks, huffing out air from his nose.</p><p>What kind of question is that? Felix has been working at the club for two weeks, and for the entire time the manager has given him simple tasks in short sentences, barely sparing Felix another look. Felix almost <em>expected</em> more – a bigger reaction from the man who allegedly made the hiring decision because he liked his selfies.</p><p>“I like it here, sir,” Felix says meekly, white knuckling the chilled water bottle.</p><p>The manager raises an eyebrow. “You don’t feel uncomfortable?”</p><p>“Wh– why would I –?”</p><p>“Because people stare at your ass all the time,” he states in a flat tone. Felix can’t find a trace of mocking or worse, lust, in his voice, and it’s the only thing keeping him from hiding his face into his hands.</p><p>“Isn’t that the point, though?” Felix is bold enough to ask. In the moment he completely forgets that he sounds nothing like someone who’s supposedly lived his whole life in Wonju.</p><p>“That’s the reason why you pay so well for picking up dirty glasses, isn’t it?” he continues pressing.</p><p>Manager Min chuckles. “Oh, you sweet boy, thinking that 15,000 won per hour is a lot for someone of your qualities.</p><p>“My qualities?” Felix mumbles. He should be offended now. He should walk out and take Jisung with him.</p><p>He doesn’t.</p><p>“Why is everyone so keen on telling <em>me</em> about <em>my</em> worth?” Felix spits out rather bitterly. It’s enough to change the manager’s expression, although very subtly.</p><p>“Who else has said that to you?”</p><p>“Just a hyung,” Felix utters, still drunk on his courage.</p><p>Manager Min looks at him for a long time, studies his face with crushing scrutiny.</p><p>“So, Yongbok from Wonju –” he says with a languid smile, enjoying every syllable rolling off his tongue.</p><p>This is the moment where Felix gets kicked out, and it’s all for the better. They can’t call the police, not when they’ve been paying his wages in cash.  </p><p>“– please come to me if any of the patrons give you a hard time. Remember that you’re here to work, not to be drooled after.”</p><p>Felix can’t get any words out in his shock. Not only is he not called out for lying about his whole identity, but he’s not being kicked out. And on top of that, the manager wants to protect him from getting harassed, even though he hired him for his looks. None of it makes any sense.  </p><p>“Do you understand, Yongbok?” the manager asks, voice stern.</p><p>Felix’s ears burn hot from knowing his secret is all out in the open but he’s unable to do anything about it, not even address the issue.</p><p>“I understand, sir,” he grits out.</p><p>The expression on the manager’s face softens considerably, becoming just a little short of fond. He smacks his lips, content.</p><p>“Run along, then.”</p><p>After the dismissal Felix slips into the hallway that leads into the kitchen and storage rooms. Suddenly, he hears someone start talking behind him. He can hear bits and pieces even if he’s not actively trying to eavesdrop. But when Felix realises the only other door to their staff room leads to the other side, to the infamous back room, the knowledge makes him want to listen in.</p><p>He presses his ear to the door.</p><p>“– and have you recovered well?” It’s the manager’s smooth voice.</p><p>“It was nothing but a second-degree burn. The boss got me a nice girl for the day, and I was fully healed by the next night.” Felix doesn’t recognise the speaker.</p><p>“But tell me, what smells so good?” the strange voice asks. “New product I hope?”</p><p>Manager Min answers promptly. “Unfortunately not. Just an employee.”</p><p>“For now.”</p><p>The simple words make Felix’s stomach detach from every other organ, and it drops, drops, through his body like he’s a kid on a rollercoaster.</p><p>“Seungmin!” the manager scolds. His voice sounds uncharacteristically loud and sharp.</p><p>“Don’t you Seungmin me. I know I look young, but I have almost a century on you.”</p><p>“I know that very well, but you’re being a bit of a brat tonight.”</p><p>There is a brief silence. Perhaps they’re shooting each other dirty looks.</p><p>“I’m sure anyone would pay at least fifty for him. Around twenty years old, healthy and fit. Strong-willed.”</p><p>Fifty? Fifty thousand won for what? Felix thinks he’s about to faint. How does the man know all that about him? Can he see through walls or something? He should run, now.</p><p>The manager whistles. “That’s a high rate. He must be quite special then.”</p><p>“You and your human nose have no taste,” the other man says with disdain.</p><p>“Oh, believe me I do. But I don’t have the habit of pimping out my part-timers, haven’t sunk quite so low yet.”</p><p>“You should at least mention it to the poor guy. I’m sure fifty million won isn’t petty cash for someone so young.”</p><p>Fifty. Million.</p><p>Felix bolts, not caring one bit about how obvious he’s being. He dashes through the hallway and back onto the club floor, where he’s momentarily blinded by the flashing lights, purple and blue and lime green.</p><p>Fifty million won.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you like unnecessary cameos because oh boy they’ll just keep coming.<br/> <br/><a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">twt</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Appetite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been two weeks since the attack, complete radio silence from the Park side, and Chan has nothing but a stupid list full of people and events with no reasonable way to connect the dots. The list goes as follows:</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The Big Three:</strong>
</p><p><strong>Bang Chan:</strong> Travels to Sydney to purchase real estate for a new business venture. Has no prior dealings with the seller, but the deal goes through in good faith.</p><p><strong>Lee Sangtae:</strong> Based in Sydney, Australia. Willingly sells the property to Chan. Known associate of the Park clan.</p><p><strong>Park Chaeyoung:</strong> The newly appointed head of the Park clan and a business partner of the Lee family. Allegedly orders two separate attacks on the Bang clan promptly after Chan has departed from Sydney. Doesn’t inform Chan of possible concerns and rejects all attempts at contact. An act of retaliation? Why??</p><p>
  <strong>The Bang clan members:</strong>
</p><p><strong>Hwang Hyunjin:</strong> The sole victim of the first attack, assaulted on the street unprovoked. Suffers moderate injuries to face and teeth. Unconfirmed if targeted specifically because of close relation to Chan. During the second attack engages in hand-to-hand combat with one of the human perpetrators, who then is promptly left behind by his accomplices. Overpowers the human easily despite prior injuries.</p><p><strong>Kim Seungmin:</strong> Goes after one of the perpetrators trying to flee the scene of the second attack. Is successful but suffers burns to face and neck. Scolded for reckless behaviour.</p><p><strong>Lee Minho:</strong> Is asleep at the time of the attack. Wakes up to the noise and stops an intruder trying to enter one of the upstairs bedrooms. After neutralising the human, rushes downstairs to secure a bookcase against the broken window. Suffers mild burns to face and arms.</p><p><strong>Seo Changbin:</strong> Restrains and disposes of the captured perpetrators after an unsuccessful interrogation. Suffers from a badly bruised ego.</p><p> </p><p>There is something about the attacks that keeps bothering Chan, but it is as if he’s fumbling in the dark with hands tied behind his back. Everything seems almost personal in a way – the mindless violence and the lack of communication from the other side – but then again, there is nothing personal about a piece of property in downtown Sydney. That's how he always comes full circle, exhausting every viable possibility and ending up with a load of nothing.</p><p>Listing facts in such a clinical manner does little to tamper the constant, low-burning rage inside Chan. He hasn’t felt anger like this in decades, didn’t even know he was capable of such a human emotion, but it’s there, gradually eating him whole, taking his ability to properly sleep and feed – crumbling his authority. But regardless of his aptitude for leadership, Chan despises gratuitous violence, so he refuses to descend to the level of chaotic malice the Park clan is exercising. If a full war were to break out, it would result in countless bodies. His tactic of duck and cover, as much as it hurts his pride, seems to be working at least to the point where the lives of his clan members are no longer in immediate danger.</p><p>Keeping everyone on a tight leash has resulted in people growing more restless by the day, especially Changbin. Chan’s second in command calls him spineless for taking no action, coming up with elaborate plans to take out Park Chaeyoung and her pack of crazed mongrels (Changbin’s creative choice of words).</p><p>It won’t be long until the whole clan hates him with the same fervour.</p><p>Chan’s gloomy self-pity is disrupted by Seungmin who bursts into his study without knocking, Changbin in tow. The former seems to be in a good mood. Chan is in the middle of staring at his pathetic list with glassy, unfocused eyes and an uncharacteristic tremor in his right hand.</p><p>”Hyung, did I tell you about what happened at <em>Persona</em> yesterday?” Seungmin asks with a smile. Changbin sighs heavily as if he’s already heard the story in detail.</p><p>“You could at least learn to knock at the ripe age of sixty,” Chan notes, irritated. Seungmin looks quite well-fed, and Chan doesn’t know if he has the strength to listen to the stories about his conquests.  </p><p>Seungmin is quick to ignore him entirely. “I was about to leave after spending some quality time at the back when I happened to catch the scent of some new busboy. Incredibly sweet, haven’t smelled someone quite like that ever before. It was like fresh strawberries mixed with a hint of mouth-watering fear.”</p><p>Seungmin’s eyes go dreamy as he speaks. Chan notices that his fangs are half-exposed from the memory alone, the tips visible just below the edge of his upper lip.</p><p>He continues speaking unbothered by the slight lisp. “Unfortunately, the manager there is complete tool, didn’t even let me have a closer look at the guy. I bribed the bartender, and she told me his name is Yongbok, and that he’s super shy. Isn’t that adorable?”</p><p>”Seungmin,” Chan sighs, ”if I enjoyed clubbing and hooking up for a quick bite, I would go there myself and witness these lovely Yongboks and other irresistible humans with my own nose.”  </p><p>“You’re no fun. I’m sure you’d love it if you ever came with us,” Seungmin whines.</p><p>Chan rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Are you really going to recount that story to everyone foolish enough to listen? And please don’t anger our closest business partners by snatching their employees because they smell enticing,” Changbin comments from the back. He seems to sense how tense Chan is, something Seungmin is completely oblivious of.</p><p>Chan should be grateful toward Changbin for coming to his rescue, but he feels even more on edge, like Seungmin’s innocent enthusiasm and Changbin’s sensibility are in fact the two halves of his own brain struggling for power, and he doesn’t know which side is going to win.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>”Hyung, hyung, you must see this! It’s Seungmin’s voice, distressed. There’s a letter in his hands. The paper smells of iron and aggression.</p><p>Chan sighs. ”Calm down, Seungmin. Show it to me.”</p><p>Seungmin releases the piece of paper almost too eagerly, letting it slip from between his fingers into Chan’s waiting hands.</p><p>“It was addressed to the whole clan so I opened the envelope,” Seungmin explains, sheepish and perhaps a bit guilty.</p><p>Chan can’t help but gasp at what he sees, poorly masking it as a cough.</p><p>”Oh those dramatic bastards. Call Changbin here now.”</p><p>Seungmin goes.</p><p>The Park clan hanja written in dark vampire blood stares at Chan from the sheet of paper, mocks him.</p><p>Someone sucks in a sharp breath behind him, and Chan turns his head to see Changbin looking over his shoulder, nostrils flared in shock. He's scenting the paper with a furrowed brow.</p><p>”Vampire blood?” he mumbles in disbelief, and Chan can only nod. ”Anyone you know?”</p><p>”I’m not sure, it’s all dried up.”</p><p>It’s Changbin’s turn to bob his head. He touches the blood with the tip of his finger, as though to confirm that it is true, that a vampire has willingly drawn their <em>own</em> blood for a cause like this.</p><p>”That’s basically a declaration of war. I didn’t even know people used those anymore when we have pens and freaking SNS.” Changbin places a heavy hand at the back of Chan’s chair, and it creaks like the wood is about to crack. ”Can we go kill them now?”</p><p>Chan tears his eyes away from the blood. ”We will do nothing for now. Not until we know what the hell all this is about.” He flicks the paper with his fingers and bits of dried up blood fall onto the desk below.</p><p>Minho appears in the doorway, eyes wild and jaw clenched. He’s been listening in.</p><p>“But we <em>do</em> know what this is about. They tried to burn us alive in our own home, plain and simple,” he spits out.</p><p>“They sent five humans to break some windows when we were at our most vulnerable. They just wanted to scare us.”</p><p>“You can’t know that! Besides, you weren’t even there,” Changbin says, and the words feel like getting stabbed between the ribs with an unsharpened knife, dull and humiliating.</p><p>Chan rises from his seat to be at eye-level with Changbin. “Either way, vampires don’t fight dirty. As a species, we’re supposed to be above those kinds of tactics.”</p><p>Changbin looks like he’s about to slap Chan in the face. He leans so close that their noses are nearly touching. The other vampire resembles a thunderstorm – eyes dark pits of rainwater, and steel grey hair framing his forehead in subtle waves like the edges of a storm cloud.</p><p>“When was the last time you fed?” Changbin asks practically against his mouth.</p><p>Chan refuses to answer, just raises his chin in a childish manner to gain a few centimetres on Changbin.  </p><p>“What if you get challenged to a duel by a Park vampire? You’re our leader and have the responsibility to accept the challenge if it comes down to that.”</p><p>“They wouldn’t. We’re not in the middle ages anymore,” Chan says, going for a confident tone and failing.</p><p>Changbin slaps him for real then. It’s more for show than to actually hurt, but Chan’s ears ring from the impact. He takes a step back on reflex and hisses out a warning.</p><p>Changbin stops to stare at his own hand for a second, as if it has become a foreign object.</p><p>Seungmin, who is back and standing at a polite distance, de-escalates the situation with some soft words. The vampire can be temperamental, but he has the useful quality of not getting drawn into other people’s fights. “We’re all concerned for your safety, hyung. This letter proves that the opposite side isn’t willing to talk. We need to prepare ourselves.”</p><p>Chan rubs his cheek. “I know, believe me I know that. And you’re absolutely right, both of you.”</p><p>Even though the words are messy and ineloquent, Changbin is with him in an instant. He places a gentle hand over Chan’s own that is still holding his tingling cheek.</p><p>“When did you last drink blood?” Changbin asks again with no edge or aggression to his tone.</p><p>“Last week, only a quarter of a bag. I have zero appetite,” Chan says slowly, shame grating his insides.</p><p>“How’s that even possible?” Hyunjin interjects as he peeks his head into the room. He’s so young that he needs blood every night or he’ll get intolerably hangry.</p><p>”I’m an old vampire. I won’t starve that easily.” Chan knows he sounds pathetically defensive.</p><p>Changbin’s lowers his hand to grip Chan’s shoulder. “Hyung,” he says, almost a whine. “Let me get you a human. You love AB, right?”</p><p>Chan shakes his head even though the words alone make his teeth tingle, thin vampiric saliva pooling in his mouth.</p><p>“I don’t feed from humans. It’s unnecessary.” What he means to say is that feeding from a human in some dark corner of a night club makes him feel like a fucking drug dealer, but he knows what the others think about his views. The only one mirroring his feeding habits is Minho, but that’s because the man is a hopeless romantic and monogamist at heart.</p><p>“We’ll pay them well. Just for a few weeks to get your strength up.” Changbin pleads, and Chan feels weak under the worry for his well-being.  </p><p>“If a proper contract is negotiated – then I – then I could consider,” Chan breathes out. He knows he needs this, needs the sustenance to function as a leader, that he’s almost worthless to them in his current condition.</p><p>Changbin looks incredibly relieved, but then Chan drops his final condition, one that is non-negotiable to him.</p><p>“Make sure it’s someone virginal.”</p><p>One could hear a feather hitting the floor.</p><p>Changbin chokes on nothing but air, and jaws drop open around him. Chan presses a finger to his temple, so hard his thin skin must dent under his fingernail.</p><p>“I didn’t know you pref– that you had such an inclination –“ Changbin sounds utterly lost, and Chan gets the urge to laugh in the most sadistic way imaginable. He resists, barely.</p><p>“Aish you idiots, get out of my office!” No one there deserves his whiplash, it’s completely unfair, and he’s being ten times worse than Hyunjin was at two days old.  </p><p>Everyone in the room looks like a beaten puppy, and Chan wonders if they’ll just end up overthrowing him as their leader, and if it would be better for everyone in the long run.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Three days later Changbin comes by to tell it has been sorted. He rattles off the details like a waiter reciting the day’s specials on the menu.</p><p>Male, twenty years old, 171 cm, healthy with excellent iron levels, AB blood type – <em>untarnished</em>.</p><p>Chan gags at the last word and then has to bite into his cheek not to growl. The bewildered look on Changbin’s face suggests that Chan has finally lost it from the lack of nourishment, and it sure does feel like it.  </p><p>“The human will arrive tomorrow after sundown, and you’ll be able to negotiate before finalising the contract.”</p><p>Changbin doesn’t give a name, and Chan doesn’t ask for it.</p><p>His best friend in the world, his trusted right hand, turns on his heels ready to leave the room, but something makes him hesitate.</p><p>“Feel free to speak if you have something to say,” Chan says, his voice hoarse and tired.</p><p>Changbin refuses to face him again, but he starts talking in an equally strained voice. “You ever wonder why I stayed, hyung? Even though I’m nearly as old as you and could be a clan leader myself.”</p><p>Chan is taken aback, so much so that he doesn’t find the words to answer the question.</p><p>“It’s because I have so much faith in you, more than you have in yourself. I know I challenge you from time to time, but I have never thought your decisions unwise.” Changbin lets air escape between his teeth as he thinks. “I know you think you messed up by going down there in the first place, but it’s not your fault. None of this is. It’s just some horrible misunderstanding.”</p><p>“Binnie,” Chan croaks. His throat constricts painfully.</p><p>Changbin turns, and Chan sees how his face is contorted from a range of emotions. Chan doesn’t deserve the words, the praise, the look of devotion in Changbin’s eyes.</p><p>“Just – drink some freaking blood and come back to your senses,” Changbin snaps, but it’s weak and tender. “Stop punishing yourself by starving to re-death.”</p><p>“Who says I’m starving myself to repent?”</p><p>“I am,” Changbin chuckles humourlessly, “because that’s the kind of vampire you are.”</p><p>Chan lets his hands drop to his sides, completely disarmed by Changbin. He feels lax and on fire at the same time.</p><p>“Have I ever told you that I love you? We all do, hyung.”</p><p>Chan can only hear the first part, and it sounds wrong to his ears, twisted and filled with meanings that aren’t actually there. He lowers his eyes to avert Changbin’s intense gaze.</p><p>“That won’t ever change, not even if you’re a total weirdo with some virgin fetish.”</p><p>“It’s not like th–“ Chan starts, but suddenly he feels too tired, overcome by his hunger to the point that explaining himself becomes impossible.</p><p>Changbin leaves with a bow, something he never does, and the gesture of respect feels plain <em>wrong</em>.</p><p>The hunger pangs become unbearable after Changbin leaves, and Chan has no distractions, nothing to keep his mind busy and rational. It gets so severe that he almost bites his own hand for fleeting relief. He knows his fangs are fully out now, they press against his tongue, thick and urgent.</p><p>He gets up from his chair and barely makes it across the room to the the small couch. He slumps into the cushion face first and hauls a decorative pillow into his lap. Burying his face into the soft fabric is a poor substitute for warm human skin, but his subconscious rejoices as he sinks his teeth into the polyester foam. It’s shameful and unforgivable for a vampire of his age and stature, he should’ve never allowed himself to get this feral.</p><p>The bitter sentiment is quickly overshadowed by a stronger voice, one of fantasy. The embroidered pillow between his arms comes alive, turns into the blond man from the flight back to Seoul.</p><p>Felix.</p><p>The elegant creature he was never able to scent, the one that got away.</p><p>And he bites and bites and bites until he’s left sitting in a sea of pillow fillings and ignominy.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Changbin strolls into the living room to inform Chan that Jeongin, their trusted human helper, came by to clean up his office and replace the destroyed items while Chan was asleep, or at least lying down in bed with his eyes pressed shut in shame.</p><p>Chan is sitting on the leather sofa, eyes fixated on the grandfather clock in the corner, which reveals that the sun is setting in a few minutes. He’s still nervous and on edge, but at least his murderous tendencies are dealt with. After the disastrous rendezvous with the couch cushions, Chan sneaked into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of blood. The chilled liquid tasted outright rotten sliding down his throat, but at least it made him coherent enough so that he won’t rip the donor’s throat clean open.</p><p>“How do you feel?” Changbin asks. “Do you want me to be there to see that –?” His voice trails off.</p><p>“I won’t accidentally murder him if that’s what you’re asking. I had a little bit of blood before bed.”</p><p>“So, you got your appetite back in the end?” Changbin muses. He sits down next to Chan and crosses his legs.</p><p>“Not really. It’s weird actually, because I’m hungry as hell but blood tastes horrible.” Chan thinks briefly about his failed attempts to feed, and a sliver of worry runs through his body.</p><p>“Do you think you’re sick or something?” Changbin asks. His voice is light, but his eyes are narrowed in concern. Chan regrets mentioning his new problem.</p><p>“I don’t think so. I have never heard of an illness like that. It must be the stress messing with my senses.”</p><p>“Or maybe you’ve just survived on blood bags for too long. It’s only natural to drink from the source from time to time.”</p><p>Chan hates to admit it, but Changbin might have a point. Even mentioning fresh, warm blood makes him feel a little too <em>predatory</em> all over again.</p><p>Changbin looks at him for a long time, no doubt seeing his reaction to the words. “Let’s hope the human meets your heightened standards, because I will never humiliate myself like that again in front of a human. Jeongin practically laughed in my face when I showed him the state of the office.”</p><p>Chan has a hard time imagining the young human being brave enough to laugh in anyone’s face, let alone Changbin’s who can be a bit intimidating with his sharp words and peculiar sense of style.</p><p>“Yeah, let’s,” he mumbles out loud, and Changbin seems satisfied enough.  </p><p>The doorbell rings.</p><p>Changbin is on his feet faster, practically dashing to the door. Perhaps he still has reservations about the state of Chan’s self-control.</p><p>“The boys at <em>Persona</em> are always so punctual,” he says cheerily while yanking the door open.</p><p>It’s just like in the cheesiest of dramas, slowly revealing the figure of a man standing just outside. His face is hidden behind Changbin’s wide shoulder, only a dangly earring and a lock of blond hair visible.</p><p>It’s comical how slowly time nudges forward, Changbin turning to smile at Chan. His voice is warm and easy-going but overly so. It’s a mask of calm.</p><p>“This is Lee Yongbok, and he’s going to serve you for the next few weeks,” he says with forced glee, getting out of the way. “And this is Bang Chan, our clan leader and your client.”</p><p>Chan doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.</p><p>And <em>then</em> the scent hits him.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yongbok the strawberry boy is so cheesy that I'm almost sorry!</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">twt</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Negotiation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: As briefly depicted in chapter 2, getting bitten by a vampire can (in some people) result in a “high” of sorts. These effects are discussed in this chapter and will be an element in the story going forward. </p><p>This chapter is basically one long conversation. Felix has a lot of questions, and some of them even get answered!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The front door looks ominous. It looks like a door that is closed and then never opened again.</p><p>But he has already rung the bell like the desperate, money-hungry fool he is.</p><p>A vampire with heavy-lidded eyes and a strong jawline opens the door to Felix who is doing his best living statue impersonation. He turns around to say something to a figure behind him, introducing Felix as Yongbok.</p><p>Wait, did he just say –</p><p>Felix climbs the single step to the doorway so that the other vampire no longer obstructs the view.</p><p>It turns out Bang Chan was right about yet another thing. There is nothing human-passing about him now. The edges of his irises are deep crimson, and he looks even more tired and ill than last time. In the dim lighting his cheeks are hollow, littered with deep blue veins just beneath skin.</p><p>”Yongbok is my Korean name,” Felix blurts out in English, because he feels the ridiculous urge to explain himself to Chan.</p><p>”Oh, I’m sorry. They didn’t mention that you would speak English,” says the vampire dressed in a peculiar combination of a black suit jacket and cargo pants. He has a heavy Korean accent. The wide smile plastered on his face is unnerving because it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.</p><p>Felix starts shaking his head, but he doesn’t get a chance to correct the misunderstanding as Chan takes a sudden step closer, almost getting on his tiptoes. His lunge is stopped by the other vampire extending his hand. A steadying arm is placed on his waist, and Chan starts blinking and shaking his head.</p><p>Felix doesn’t understand what’s happening.</p><p>”My English name is Christopher,” Chan says in Korean, and for some reason it’s so funny that Felix snorts in an obnoxious manner, toppling over and planting his palms on his thighs for support.  </p><p>Chris the friendly vampire who is dying to give him some life advice and drink a pint of his blood in exchange for obscene amounts of money. Perhaps it’s only fitting that the vampire who started it all is the one to grant him his financial freedom.</p><p>Felix attempts to turn his crouched posture into a polite bow.</p><p>“Please call me Felix,” Felix mumbles in Korean, not courageous enough to look up and meet their eyes quite yet.  </p><p>“Seo Changbin,” the other vampire automatically replies. “Please come in.”</p><p>The vampire called Changbin is already gesturing with his pale hands, and Felix has no other option than to step inside the house, or rather, a modern mansion. Whereas the outside is tarred wood and tinted glass, all sleek and contemporary, the lobby area and large living room opening to the side have a mixture of traditional Korean decorations and western style furniture.</p><p>Everything has an exceptionally dark colour palette – charcoal grey, wine red, maroon – like the place is doused with an artsy filter ripped off a teenage girl’s Insta profile. As if some pleasing pastel tones would take away from their vampiric menace.</p><p>Felix wants to laugh again, and his eyes bulge out as he holds the frantic giggles in.</p><p>“Our leader here is sensitive to bright lights and colours and loud sounds. I’m sure you’ll be mindful of that,” Changbin says as if he’s just read Felix’s mind.</p><p>Felix thinks about the baby pink sweater under his jacket, palms sweating. There are other clothes in his backpack, and he seriously considers slipping into the bathroom to change.</p><p>Chan shoots an irritated look in Changbin’s direction. “Yah, stop making me sound like a delicate princess.” It’s only the second time that he opens his mouth, and the voice coming out is very different, a low drawl that sends chills down Felix’s spine.</p><p>Changbin doesn’t reply verbally, but he returns the look with the same intensity. The vampire has his mouth slightly agape, and a string of low rumbling sounds keeps escaping his lips.</p><p>Chan straightens his back at the sound, narrowing his eyes and placing one foot forward. Changbin cranes his neck to appear taller, puffing out his chest.</p><p>It’s some kind of posturing.</p><p>Neither of them is paying attention to Felix, it’s as if he’s not even there. He wonders if there is some old grudge between the two, something they are going to settle right now for whatever reason.</p><p>It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do, considering the alarming behaviour of two supernaturally strong creatures, but Felix clears his throat and taps his foot on the hardwood floor.</p><p>It’s not loud, but Changbin turns to look immediately. His mouth snaps shut and the guttural sound from his throat dies out. Chan reacts by jerking backwards, almost hitting the wall behind him. His mouth is still open, tongue lolling out.</p><p>Changbin faces Felix with unexpected embarrassment marring his handsome features.</p><p>“I must offer my sincerest apologies,” the vampire says, hands tangled in his slate grey hair. His eyes dart to the dishevelled Chan and back to Felix.</p><p>“This was – I didn’t even know I –“ Changbin elbows Chan in the ribs. He looks utterly helpless.</p><p>“Yes – uhm, as Changbin was saying, we’re a bit on edge these days. As it happens – there is an intervampirical conflict of sorts we’ve been dragged into. It’s something you don’t have to worry about in the slightest,” Chan babbles. “We thought it would be a good idea to hire som– of course, we didn’t know it would be <em>you</em>, but –” Chan’s voice trails off like a small stream in a heatwave.</p><p>“Wait, you two know each other?” Changbin asks with a bit more clarity.</p><p>“Coincidentally,” Chan says, offering no further information. Changbin doesn’t ask about it.</p><p>Felix shifts his weight onto another leg. He notices only now how formally Chan is dressed, in a luxury suit similar to the ones Manager Min likes to wear at the club. His bloodshot eyes and wild expression clash horribly with his groomed exterior.</p><p>“So, all that –“ Felix points his hand at their flustered forms “– had nothing to do with me?”</p><p>Changbin smiles, almost desperately so. “Of course not!”</p><p>Chan glances at Changbin before focusing his attention solely on Felix. In an instant, Felix feels a similar tug at the back of his spine, the tiniest crumb of intrigue that made him initiate conversation with him weeks ago in the airplane.</p><p>“We should’ve taken Seungmin’s word for it,” Chan states in an even voice. It’s neutral and unthreatening, but Felix breaks out in cold sweat at the name that has been engrained in his memory. He was the one that asked if Felix was <em>new product</em>.</p><p>“Chan hyung,” Changbin warns.</p><p>“There’s no reason to lie. We’re hungry and agitated, and your scent is very enticing to us, Felix. That doesn’t excuse our crude behaviour, of course.”</p><p>Chan flashes an apologetic smile in his direction. Felix is pretty sure they wouldn’t come after him if he just ran out the door without looking back.</p><p>But then again, a vivid image of Manager Min hunched over an old-fashioned calculator flashes through his mind.</p><p>The astronomical number calculated on the grayscale screen.</p><p><em>That’s how much you’d make in two weeks</em>.  </p><p>Felix could move to America if he so wished, get into some low-profile college, and build a new life from the ground up. Or maybe he could go travelling with Jisung, stay at cheap motels and experience the gay clubs of Berlin and Amsterdam. Even one more year of prolonged freedom – it should be worth suffering through two weeks of dizziness and discomfort for. In theory.</p><p>They sit down in the living room, Felix on one sofa and the vampires on another. Felix declines a drink, because he thinks he couldn’t hold a glass without spilling the beverage everywhere.</p><p>Chan still has his eyes trained on him. “I think we should go over some details with Felix,” he says with an arched brow.</p><p>“Of course,” Changbin says, “perhaps in your study –?”</p><p>Chan raises a hand. “No, here is fine. I think he would be more comfortable in close proximity to the front door.”</p><p>Changbin stands to leave, nodding in agreement. “Again, I’m very sorry for the bad impression. I look forward to getting to know you a bit better, Ttalgi – I mean, Felix.” The vampire grimaces, cheeks puffing up to squint his eyes into tiny slits. He starts walking towards the hallway.</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll make great friends. On most days Binnie is our little baby,” Chan chirps to the man’s back. He’s smiling with half of his mouth. “You should see his aegyo some time, his technique is flawless.”</p><p>Felix is quite sure he hears Changbin stifling a burst of laughter into his sleeve as he goes.</p><p>“Have you been well, Felix?” Chan asks as soon as they’re alone. He’s still talking in Korean, and Felix isn’t sure if it would be appropriate to switch languages.</p><p>“I’m working at a club,” he offers, even though it doesn’t answer the question.</p><p>“You mean my club,” Chan says softly.</p><p>“<em>Persona</em> is your club?”</p><p>“Well, it’s a joint venture with some of my human associates,” Chan explains vaguely. “Min Yoongi you do know already, I believe.”</p><p>Mentioning the manager brings Felix back to the night when he was caught eavesdropping. How the man touched his shoulder and asked: <em>how much did you hear? </em></p><p>Chan is keeping his distance and watching his tone, which makes Felix uneasy. No matter what, Chan is about to come much closer, so pretending to be polite while eyeing him up and down like he’s an expensive cut of meat feels much worse than a slight breach of personal space.</p><p>Is this some sick hunt, providing the prey with a false sense of security, an easy escape that will never get used?</p><p>Too late, Felix realises that Chan is still talking.</p><p>“– if you ask me. I find it rather odd how they chose the least personable one of the bunch to run the club’s night-to-night operations.”</p><p>Felix nods dumbly, hoping that Chan wasn’t asking any questions.</p><p>This conversational Chan is closer to the vampire Felix got to know on the airplane. Felix wonders briefly if it’s because Changbin is no longer present to challenge Chan’s stake in Felix. Even the fleeting thought makes him feel iffy, like he’s some prize to be fought over.</p><p>It’s almost funny that he’s been working for Chan all this time, unbeknownst or not. He could’ve met him any day at the club, he should’ve –</p><p>What does it matter? Chan is old and rich. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to Felix. He might be clueless when it comes to vampires, but not when it’s about <em>money</em>. It’s a potently bitter thought, and somehow Chan perks up in his seat at the exact same moment.</p><p>“Are you surprised?” Chan asks with a knowing smile.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Chan opens his mouth but gets distracted by something. Felix follows his gaze.</p><p>There is a man standing partly in the shadows, leaning against the doorframe. Chan nods, and the tall vampire steps forward.</p><p>The first thing Felix notices are his eyes, which are strikingly blue. He has never seen such high-quality contacts – if they are contacts.</p><p>“This is Hwang Hyunjin. He might look a bit intimidating, but you don’t have to worry about him,” Chan introduces. He accepts Hyunjin’s quick bow with a smile that oozes fondness.</p><p>Felix sneaks another glance in the vampire’s direction. He has some of his silvery blond hair tied up in a messy ponytail at the back of his head, exposing a row of earrings. Hyunjin’s dark leather jacket creaks softly as he stalks across the floor.</p><p>“Why don’t I – need to worry?” Felix hears himself asking. Changbin’s reaction was quite intense compared to the look of mild curiosity he gets from Hyunjin.</p><p>Chan lets out a good-hearted laugh. “That’s because some things went wrong in the process of turning him. Unfortunate circumstances, you see. Left him completely scent-blind and suffering from a melanin deficiency, hence the ridiculous hair.”</p><p>Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind that Chan is talking about him as if he’s not there. The vampire goes to the back of the room and pours himself a drink from a crystal decanter. It’s dark red in colour, and Felix tries not to look too closely.</p><p>“We have to sample everything he drinks so that he doesn’t consume anything contaminated, but on the flipside, I’ve never had a baby vampire this easy to handle.”</p><p>There is no further clarification on the relationship between the two, and Felix has zero idea how young vampires are usually <em>handled</em>, so he just stays quiet and tries to look like everything makes perfect sense to him.</p><p>“Do you have any questions? Please do not refrain from asking if there’s anything I could do to ease your nerves,” Chan says.</p><p>Felix draws in a sharp breath, and the sound is surprisingly loud to his own ears. It’s so quiet in fact that he can hear Hyunjin’s teeth clatter against the edge of his glass as the vampire takes small sips.</p><p>“I have one,” Felix admits.</p><p>Chan crosses his ankles and rests his chin against the palm of his hand. It seems that he’s trying to make his posture as unintimidating as possible. Felix gains slight satisfaction knowing he can spot Chan’s tactics so easily. As inoffensive as Chan wants to appear, he’s still a vampire, and apparently some kind of top dog at that.</p><p>On the plane Chan instructed him to always stay on his guard, and the advice is coming back to bite him now.</p><p>Chan nods encouragingly. “You can ask me anything,”</p><p>“If I agree to the uhm, arrangement –” Felix stammers.</p><p>“The feeding contract, yes,” Chan helps.</p><p>“The feeding contract, would it include –“ Felix pauses because he has no idea of just how many vampires Chan lives with, “– everyone here?"</p><p>Chan looks horrified. His legs fall open as he straightens his back. “Oh God no, how could you even think – that would be way too risky.”</p><p>Hyunjin lowers his glass onto the table with a clank. His lips are stained red.</p><p>“Perhaps later, and only if you feel one hundred percent comfortable with the idea, I could share you with Changbin. He seemed to uhm – like you very much, and I know for a fact that he’s very gentle when it comes to feeding.” He seems to mean it, even though a pained look flashes through his eyes.</p><p>“I think – I wouldn’t mind,” Felix mumbles, even though the thought makes him shiver. “Fangs are fangs, right?” The joke is awful, but Chan’s lips curl into a tight smile.</p><p>An ornate pen and a stack of papers stapled at the corner materialise from thin air, and Chan leans over the coffee table to place the items into Felix’s waiting hands.</p><p>“This is all very detailed, so take your time. Please read it through before signing anything.”</p><p>Chan leans back into the sofa cushions. A part of his shirt has come untucked, and the small flaw makes him somewhat easier to take in.</p><p>“The contract allows me, or Changbin for that matter, to take certain amounts of blood every two days. I would most likely drink the maximum allowed quantity today since I’ve been fasting.”</p><p>Chan is right. It’s right there on the consent form.</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong> <em>Donated amount:</em> </strong> <em> 250–500 ml</em></p><p><strong> <em>Minimum interval:</em> </strong> <em> 48 hrs </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“How will know when you’ve taken half a litre? Are you going to measure it into a cup?”</p><p>“I’ll listen to your heart. It will tell me,” Chan says cryptically. “You must know that I would never hurt you. You might feel slightly dizzy for the first few days, but these amounts are not a hazard to your health.”</p><p>“Okay. That’s – good.”</p><p>Felix spends ten minutes going over the contract, while Chan goes to the hallway to exchange a few words with Hyunjin and a third vampire whose name Felix doesn’t catch. Everything is just as Manager Min had described, neat and professional. He places the papers on the coffee table, and Chan doesn’t question the fact that he has yet to sign.</p><p>“Now, let’s talk about what you will gain from this. You should at least know what’s in store for you,” Chan says after a moment of polite small talk and another offer of drinks.</p><p>Felix grinds his teeth together in order to prevent a grimace. “I will do my part and be on my merry way. I’m not looking for a sugar daddy to pamper me and buy me lots of expensive things. I just really need the cash.”</p><p>“Oh I’m sure you do, but that is not what I mean.”</p><p>Felix focuses his eyes on a large painting depicting cherry blossoms and a foggy mountain range. It is beautiful but somehow completely inappropriate. There is a decanter full of human blood right below it, after all.</p><p>“What do you mean, then?” he asks after a pause.</p><p>“I’m sure you know this, having worked at <em>Persona</em>, but getting bitten is often a pleasurable experience for both parties.”</p><p>Chan looks at him expectantly, so Felix nods.</p><p>“It affects people in different ways,” Chan continues. “For some, it’s pure ecstasy, a momentary rush of feel-good hormones. It lowers inhibitions and paints everything in a positive light.”</p><p>Felix swallows thickly. He is all too familiar with those kinds of effects.</p><p>“For others, it brings forth a sense of calm in the way a meditation or massage would. We have a venomous component in our saliva, and its sole purpose is to lull the pray into thinking that they aren’t in real danger. But sometimes it has certain – side effects I should warn you about.”</p><p>“What side effects?”</p><p>“You see, the areas of the body we come to contact with are naturally erogenous for many people. The physical touch combined with the venom makes it so that it is possible to experience intense arousal during the feedings or right after the fact. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by it, should that happen.”</p><p>Felix feels irritation bubbling up in his chest – it’s Chan’s butter-smooth words, his patronising way of explaining Felix’s own bodily functions.</p><p>“Are you making assumptions about my sexuality now?” he spits.</p><p>“No, I am most definitely not. Are you even listening?” Chan shoots back with a small sigh. “I just said it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to me, so it shouldn’t matter to you. The society as a whole might think otherwise, but this lair here is a safe space.”</p><p>Felix’s face feels hot, in fact his whole body burns like there is a scorching blue flame right under his chest cavity. He feels once again ripped open and exposed in front of the vampire.</p><p>Everything Chan says sounds like a honeyed trap. Felix has the urge to fly straight into it regardless.</p><p>“How would you react to me in that state?” Felix asks, even though he’s not sure whether he wants to hear the answer or not.</p><p>Chan’s expression becomes excruciatingly soft. “The act of drinking blood is intimate in nature. I would be very receptive to your body and its signals. But that doesn’t mean I would ever do something to harm you.”</p><p>Felix tries to collect his thoughts, and Chan waits patiently.  </p><p>“How do you view it yourself? Feeding and the uhm, other things,” Felix asks, tentatively. Testing the waters.</p><p>“Being a vampire is in itself a metaphor for queerness,” Chan says, shrugging his shoulders. “Gender has little to do with bloodlust.”</p><p>The corners of Felix’s mouth twitch. “That sounds – freeing.”</p><p>Chan nods. “Freeing, yes. Very much so.”</p><p>Felix lowers his eyes into his lap. He knows he’s still blushing, flustered. He expects Chan to stalk closer, to take what has been promised, but the vampire stays put.</p><p>“Do you have any more questions?” Chan asks again.</p><p>It’s hard to think when Felix is so aware of his jugular fluttering on his neck. His heart seems to beat faster just to lure the predator in.</p><p>“What did you mean by ‘blood is lives’?” he eventually asks.</p><p>“Ah, you still remember that?” Chan says with a raised eyebrow. He seems kind of impressed.</p><p>Felix bites the inside of his cheek.</p><p>“That will be a story for another day, I’m afraid. You’re treading close to one of our more carefully guarded secrets with that question.”</p><p>His hands are getting clammy again. The grandfather clock in the corner announces the beginning of a new hour. Chan’s gaze on him feels heavier and heavier like a hand pressing him underwater. He has an irrational urge to sink below the surface.</p><p>He picks up the pen without a word and scribbles his name on the bottom line of the document, both in hangul and the Latin alphabet.</p><p>Chan observes him quietly, eyes wide open and alert.</p><p>“Did you think I wouldn’t sign?” Felix asks softly.</p><p>“I wasn’t sure after the idiocy you had to witness earlier,” Chan laughs, slowly shaking his head. “You’ve got to believe me when I tell you that we aren’t usually this –“</p><p>“All over the place?” Felix suggests. He also feels like laughing. He’s about to get bitten, and he’s smiling and joking about it with a vampire.</p><p>Jisung is going to skin him alive when he hears about it.</p><p>“How should we do this?” Felix is thankful that his voice remains steady.</p><p>“Are you sure you feel up for it? You can eat something or take a nap first if you’d like.”</p><p>“I think I just want to get over with it,” Felix says, but he regrets his harsh choice of words. “I mean, it would make me scared and restless to imagine it over and over again in my head. I need to know what it’s really like to not be afraid anymore.”</p><p>Chan looks at him, eyes dark and steady.</p><p>“Very well. I will give you three options, and you can choose based on what you would be most comfortable with.”</p><p>Felix rises to his feet. He feels like proper prey now, heart hammering in his throat.</p><p>“The first option is that you lie down on the couch and let me get on top. It could be a relaxing position for you, but I’m not sure how you feel about being under me. The second one would be sitting upright with me at your side, allowing you more mobility. And lastly, the third option is that you sit on my lap facing me. That would let me support your weight without you getting pinned down.”</p><p>Every single option sounds intimate, impossible. It’s a relief that they are alone, that no one else is there to witness the moment. Maybe Chan has requested privacy for them.</p><p>Felix notices he’s still wearing his jacket, and he unzips it with unsteady hands.  </p><p>“Number three please,” he squeaks after a moment of useless deliberation.</p><p>Chan grins, but there is something wrong with his teeth. The canines are long and sharp.</p><p><em>You’ll have to find out yourself</em>. Those are Chan’s words from earlier, Chan’s threat that is becoming reality. Chan’s fangs that are about to pierce Felix’s skin.</p><p>The vampire beckons him by patting his thigh. Felix’s legs are about to give out, but he makes it. It’s all too easy to sink into Chan’s lap, to grab handfuls of his suit jacket. Steady, cold hands circle his waist with the promised support, and Chan whispers into his ear in drawn-out English, “<em>let me see your neck, Felix</em>.”</p><p>Felix obeys like he’s in trance. Maybe he has been bewitched. What is he doing?</p><p>He bares the long line of his throat, trying to hide the slight tremble running through his body, as it might only excite the vampire further.</p><p>“That’s it, you’re doing so well. I’ll take good care of you after, draw you a bath and feed you the sweetest fruit. You deserve it for being so good.”</p><p>Chan’s mindless babbling has a strange effect on Felix – it makes his body hot and cold at the same time. He can almost taste the sweetness of the promised fruit on his lips. A small whine slips out of his mouth, and he hasn’t even been bitten yet.</p><p>“I might ruin your pretty sweater, but I’ll buy you a hundred new ones, I promise.” Chan is still whispering, and it’s like a twisted ASMR video with every single word tingling at the back of his skull, lingering there.</p><p>Chan is inhaling deeply, nostrils flared in anticipation. His cold breath tickles Felix’s cheek. Equally cold fingers touch the side of his neck, bending it further. There is no force behind it, it’s all agonisingly gentle.</p><p>Felix thinks he might spontaneously combust, he might shatter into tiny shards and –</p><p>White-hot pain. Inescapable, all-consuming.</p><p>It starts in the juncture of his neck and radiates down in endless waves, quickly distorting, transforming into something else.</p><p>Felix lets his eyes fall shut.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sexual tension anyone?</p><p>Ttalgi (딸기) is Korean for strawberry ;)</p><p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">twt</a>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Inebriety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Brief mention of past self-harm.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wild strawberries at the side of a winding road, ripened by the blazing summer sun. It’s a distant memory of a human life that barely lingers in Chan’s mind, but Felix is able to awaken that in him, in vivid detail. Every move the man makes, every breath he takes is bottled sunshine to get drunk on.</p><p>Having Felix in his lap, holding him and scenting him is something Chan isn’t sure he quite deserves. No vampire seems worthy to be his first. But Chan’s body thinks otherwise. His fangs hurt so badly, gums tingling from how rapidly his teeth came exposed. In the moment of pure need Chan imagines biting into flesh, deep, piercing an artery and refusing to let go until there isn’t a drop left. The thought isn’t anything new – after all he is a predator with beast’s instincts under the veneer of civilised decency, but the mental image still terrifies him. It is scary how fragile human life is, no matter how strong the individual.</p><p>“Let me see your neck, Felix,” Chan whispers. His mouth feels dry as a desert.</p><p>Unbeknownst to Chan’s depravity, Felix lets his head fall to the side, throat on full display. He’s steadfast under Chan’s touch, unwavering, and in turn Chan becomes weak. Ridiculous words roll off his tongue in an endless stream – praise, promises, desperation.</p><p>Chan lifts a hand to touch the skin he’s about to claim. By touch he measures where to bite in order to let blood flow easily without damage to nerves and tendon. Felix lets out tiny whines with his tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth, and the scent of his blood spikes and blooms beautifully.  </p><p>He’s so hungry. He’s so hungry for Felix’s blood.</p><p>Chan doesn’t growl, doesn’t warn. He bites through skin and tissue cleanly, with the practised precision of a vampire in his prime. He feels the exact moment when his fang breaches a suitably large vessel, when he’s deep enough, but the urge to bite harder remains at the back of his head.</p><p>Felix’s body spasms from the combination of physical pain and vampiric venom entering his blood stream for the first time. He doesn’t cry out or beg for Chan to stop, but it is clear from the erratic pattern of his breathing that he’s overcome by the sensation. If Chan didn’t have his mouth occupied, he would growl and purr in triumph, because there are certain sadistic tendencies to every vampire, a part of the brain which screams in joy when a human tenses under the sting of fangs. In a primitive sense it marks the end of the hunt.</p><p>The next phase is the venom-induced state in which the human loses all sense of pain, all will to fight back. It’s when the human resigns to their inevitable fate.</p><p>Chan knows the exact moment when it happens. Felix’s body goes limp in an instant, as if he’s a marionette whose strings have been cut. It’s easy to guide his pliant body against his chest and tangle a supporting hand in his soft, blond curls.</p><p>With the promise of sustenance, Chan manages pull away and let his fangs slip out of the small, precise wounds. A second gush of venom is released into Felix’s blood stream in the process, which only deepens the man’s catatonic state, pulls him far away from all pain and worry.</p><p>Chan latches his mouth onto the bite, lips flush against wonderfully soft skin, committed to not letting invaluable drops of blood escape and go to waste. He lets his tongue explore over the cuts, checking for steady blood flow. It’s perfect.</p><p>Felix is perfect.</p><p>Chan lets a mouthful of blood pool in his mouth, because he wants to savour the first taste for as long as possible. It’s a slow, warm trickle without active sucking, but Chan prefers it that way. The steady pace keeps him sane.</p><p>Felix doesn’t taste quite like his light and fruity scent. There is a heavier, saccharine element to it, honey and port wine. Such depth of flavour profile is surprising to him, but also dangerously intoxicating. It’s as if Chan has Felix’s entire life at the tip of his tongue, all of his darkest fears and best-kept secrets. All of his proudest moments. He can’t see them, of course, but their presence is constant and welcome, having shaped Felix into the man he is.</p><p>A tiny droplet of blood escapes the seal of Chan’s lips despite his best efforts, travelling down Felix’s neck and into the collar of his pink sweater. Chan winces from the loss, the waste, and swallows everything down with a painfully large gulp. The effect is instantaneous. A heady rush of energy in its purest form washes through Chan’s cold, aching body. His strength is restored, his senses resharpened.</p><p>He’s instantly hungry for more. Chan sets a rhythm of alternating between swallowing and rubbing at the wounds with his tongue to keep them from clotting. Every mouthful is like a five course meal and an hour-long nap combined.</p><p>Felix is doing wonderfully as well – he’s not in the throes of chemical euphoria nor is he hard and rutting against Chan’s thigh. He’s merely content resting against Chan’s broad chest, legs folded at the sides of his thighs. His breathing has evened out, head lolling to the side. His heart is beating fast but in a steady thump-thump that is easy to monitor. Chan is getting closer to the limit, he can tell.</p><p>But then greedy need gets the best of him. Chan digs the tip of his tongue into the wounds and finds them coagulating, so he nicks the skin with the corner of his fang. It releases more venom into Felix’s blood, more than the inexperienced man can handle. Felix tries to throw his head back, either to get away or to give more access. Tiny mewls escape his mouth, and his hands fist in Chan’s clothes so tightly that the fabric is close to ripping. Felix is panting, repeating <em>“please, please, please</em>” in a frantic voice<em>,</em> and Chan doesn’t know what he’s asking for.</p><p>So he lets go, pushing Felix’s trashing body back against the cage of his arms. Felix’s eyes are half-lidded and rolling back in his head.  </p><p>“Felix, are you okay? Look at me,” Chan pleads in English, knowing Felix would more likely respond to his native language in that state. He doesn’t get words or even eye contact in response.</p><p>“Felix, please.”</p><p>Felix inhales sharply like he’s about to cry, but there aren’t any tears, only a prominent tremble that goes through his body like dominos tumbling over in a chain reaction. He’s lucid and delirious at the same time, Chan can tell from his scent which is responding to his calming words and grounding touch. But simultaneously, the venom has taken away all of his fine motor skills and his ability to talk.</p><p>“Don’t try to move yet. Because this was you first time, you crashed pretty hard and almost fell asleep as I drank. It’ll take a while to come back up fully,” Chan explains in the most soothing tone of voice possible. He tries to will his fangs to retract, not wanting to scare Felix when he comes to, but it’s hard with blood still trickling out of the wounds drop by drop. </p><p>“I would like to lick the bite marks clean. Do I have your permission? You can just nod or blink and I’ll know.”</p><p>Felix seems to be struggling against the influence of the venom as his eyelids flutter. Finally he manages a half-hearted nod.</p><p>Chan whispers “good boy” into the soft baby hairs at his temple and lets his tongue catch the last few syrupy droplets. He then licks thick stripes of his naturally soothing saliva over the broken and inflamed skin. Felix sighs at the sensation.</p><p>“Cha–“ he starts at last, it’s a relief to hear his voice. “Chan mmh –“</p><p>“Chan hyung,” Chan suggests gently. Felix hasn’t really called him by his name before, and hearing it from his lips is surprisingly pleasant.</p><p>Felix lets out a tiny, drunken giggle. He’s looking at Chan through his thick eyelashes. “Chan hyung, why are you so hot? You were supposed to be cold!”</p><p>A tiny knot forms right behind Chan’s navel. “I’ll take you upstairs to rest,” he quickly decides.</p><p>Felix taps his feet against the couch. “It’s unfair you know? You’re unfair, you <em>and</em> the other one.”</p><p>Chan wonders whether ‘the other one’ is Changbin or Hyunjin, and the thought has a thin crust of irrational jealousy. Felix is just confused by the chemicals running through his body, nothing more. When Chan was still feeding from humans regularly, he used to hear the wildest stories, most of them about sex. It’s natural. It doesn’t matter.</p><p>“May I carry you?” Chan asks. He’s pretty sure Felix isn’t going to make it up the stairs on his own.</p><p>“Oh yes you may, my Lord,” Felix answers with an animated wave of his hand. The man is cackling now, switching between languages on a whim, and Chan has to bite his tongue not to laugh. He’s the cause of this. He’s not supposed to make fun of his own messes.</p><p>Chan rises to his feet with the grace and ease of a well-fed vampire, tucking Felix’s long limbs around his waist. He doesn’t struggle or become embarrassed, and instead clings to Chan like a koala. Chan supports his weight with a single arm, his step is so light, so effortless. The time for shame and doubt can come later.</p><p>He sees Changbin in the hallway, less than inconspicuously leaning into the staircase railing. The vampire is buzzing with so much curiosity that he looks positively ready to burst. Changbin’s eyes travel over Felix’s relaxed form, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips.</p><p>Chan knows he’s petty, but he lets out a territorial hiss in the direction of the other vampire. For tonight, Felix is all his, his to break into pieces and put back together.</p><p>It’s slightly fucked up to think like that, Chan notes to himself.</p><p>”Was he –?” Changbin asks in a soft voice. Thankfully he doesn’t play into the provocation.</p><p>”Like sweet wine,” Chan says so quietly that Felix can’t hear with his human ears.</p><p>Changbin’s grip of the railing tightens, but he forces a shaky smile on his lips. ”I’m glad then,” he mouths.</p><p>Chan simply nods – he’s not about to rile up his friend further by telling about how Felix consented to be Changbin’s as well. It can come as a nice surprise when the vampire least expects it.</p><p>”Go drink something,” Chan ushers gently, knowing very well how their scents blend and mix into a sweet combination of sweet and tangy, like one of those blood margaritas Minho sometimes makes for them. It must be driving Changbin mad with thirst.</p><p>Changbin complies with a silent ”yes hyung,” and Chan is able to continue his way upstairs.</p><p>”Would you like that bath or perhaps a nap?” Chan asks, hoping that the worst of Felix’s high would be over by now.</p><p>It seems so, as Felix nods against his chest, whispering yes to the bath.</p><p>Chan isn’t great at aftercare even though he’s aware of its importance – he has never had a long-term donor of his own to take care of and pamper after intense feedings. Somehow it comes instinctually to him, though. Placing Felix’s doll-like body on the fluffy bathroom mat and making sure that the water is just short of scalding, it feels <em>right</em>.</p><p>Felix observes his actions from the floor with droopy eyes and a smile that exposes his two front teeth.</p><p>”You promised fruit as well,” he suddenly says in a surprisingly clear voice. Chan turns to look to see his head craned back. He’s examining the bite through the full length mirror across the room. The human doesn’t seem overly displeased with the visual.</p><p>”How do you remember that?” Chan scoffs, embarrassed to come face-to-face with his own feeding talk. It isn’t even his <em>thing</em>, he’s not like Changbin who loves buttering up his victims with sweet words of affirmation. Hell – even Chan’s dirty talk in bed is painfully vanilla and tame.</p><p>”Whatever,” Felix snorts, his Aussie accent flaring up. ”Will you help me undress, my arms are jelly?”</p><p>Chan freezes in place, trying desperately to control his expression while turning off the tap. He fails.</p><p>Felix laughs again at seeing him flustered. ”Wasn’t this supposed to be a safe space?” he mocks. ”We’re just two dudes in a steamy bathroom. You weren’t supposed to care.”</p><p>Even in post-feeding haze Felix is able to gently bring Chan to his knees. It’s as if he knows that the vampire can’t exactly speak his mind.</p><p><em>Yeah, sorry mate. Might pop a boner from pulling those skinny jeans off of you</em>.</p><p>Felix brings his hands to his belt, but they’re too weak and floppy to get the belt buckle to unclasp. He lets out a frustrated little noise.</p><p>Chan steps closer but then hesitates again.</p><p>”Should you call Changbin to help? I think he wouldn’t exactly mind…” Felix’s lazy smile turns wicked.</p><p>”You little –“ Chan sighs, but he ultimately kneels in front of Felix.</p><p>”Let’s just blame everything on the venom. Isn’t that convenient for the both of us?” Felix muses.</p><p>Chan doesn’t meet his eyes, because he’s in the middle of unbuttoning the man’s jeans with as little physical contact as possible.</p><p>Felix doesn’t wait for a reply. ”I’ve never had such an excuse. It is freeing, like you said.”</p><p>”And you – needed one before?” Chan asks, failing to hold it in. It’s dangerous to talk like this, like they are close.</p><p>”See, I’m already using the excuse. I can out myself one hundred different ways and take it all back tomorrow.”</p><p>”I’m not sure if it works like that. I didn’t exactly give you hallucinogens.”</p><p>Felix doesn’t say anything back, but he lets out a huff that is part amused and part irritated.</p><p>Chan is done with the jeans, pulling them down Felix’s pale, muscular legs. There are a couple of faint scars running horizontally through Felix’s thighs, healed to the point where only a vampire can easily catch them. Chan doesn’t mention his findings, but he thinks about the implications of them and the words said out loud just before. The obvious conclusion makes his long-ago stopped heart sting a little.</p><p>Felix is able to get rid of his shirt on his own, and Chan turns his head to give him a speck of privacy. Felix wobbles the few steps up to the giant claw foot tub and sinks into the water with a slosh. His boxers and t-shirt and bloodied sweater form a path of clothes from his previous spot to the bathtub. Thick foam covers Felix from neck down, and Chan allows himself to relax a little.</p><p>He excuses himself for a minute and comes back with a tray of fruit – fuzzy peaches, ripe pears, Jeju tangerines and a box of suspiciously vibrant raspberries. Chan feels nervous about his choices, but Felix’s genuine smile puts him at ease.</p><p>Chan peels one tangerine and holds out two plump slices for Felix to take. The man doesn’t accept the offering, but he sticks out his tongue, just enough for Chan to see how enticingly pink it is.</p><p>Hand-feeding is an old tradition, one Felix can’t be aware of with his limited knowledge of vampires. It’s a bonding ritual for vampires and their long-term human companions, as it cements their roles as mutual benefactors. Sugar for sugar, pleasure for pleasure. Felix is essentially offering to –</p><p>”My hands are soapy,” Felix explains with a shrug, and Chan is ripped out of his nonsense. He takes one piece and places it carefully in Felix’s awaiting mouth. His lips close around the fruit, and a drop of juice trickles down his chin. Chan almost can’t bear the parallel nature of the visual. Felix also stares at him as he chews, and Chan can stand that even less.</p><p>“You’re beautiful,” Felix states after biting into a peach that sits in the hollow of Chan’s hand.</p><p>“It’s your blood,” Chan smiles weakly. He glances at himself through the fogged up mirror. The black-blue rings under his eyes are diminished, and his skin look considerably less sallow. He looks almost <em>alive</em>.</p><p>Felix laughs softly, the echos of it ripple and bounce off the marble wall tiles. ”I’m glad I could be of help.”</p><p>He’s almost back to himself now, and it makes Chan nearly faint from relief. He hates seeing the loss of control more than anything. How he doesn’t know if he still has full consent.</p><p>The last time he fed from a human was five years ago at the backroom of a vampire friendly club in New York. A girl with long dark hair and glittering eyes came to him and asked so very nicely for a bite. She smelled of lavender and sugar cookies, and Chan was exhausted from his long flight – so he caved. The girl turned out to be a hardcore addict who just was excellent at hiding it. She had dozens of marks under her long sleeves and tactically placed silk scarf, but in his famished state Chan didn’t notice the warning signs before it was too late and his fangs were already buried in her neck.</p><p>It’s an unpleasant memory to him, one he desperately wants to forget, but something about Felix’s lazy compliance reminds Chan of the empty look in the girl’s eyes just after the bite. Chan shudders.</p><p>Felix notices his expression sour, and he raises a glistening wet hand to touch Chan’s shoulder. The touch is gentle and completely non-sexual.</p><p>”You don’t even know how helpful you are,” Chan says, or rather whispers.</p><p>Felix lifts his hand off, slightly flustered. Before the arm disappears back under the bubbles, Chan sees a tiny glimpse of more scars there. Nearly healed but too deep to never go away fully. He feels the urge to grab Felix’s arm and inspect every point where Felix has let his precious blood drain from his body. He wants to curse the circumstances and the people that have led him to such acts.</p><p>Felix knows that he knows. ”Hyung,” he starts in Korean. ”I’m not – anymore, I wouldn’t.”</p><p>”I know you wouldn’t, Felix. They’re old scars. I simply couldn’t not notice.”</p><p>Felix sighs. Then opens his mouth and sighs again.</p><p>”You owe me nothing,” Chan says.</p><p>”I don’t, but all the things you said earlier, they got me thinking.”</p><p>”What about?”</p><p>Felix leans back in the tub, taking a comfortable position. He glances at Chan but fixes his eyes on the opposite wall after that. The soapy foam is getting thinner.</p><p>”When you said that <em>things</em> don’t have to matter even if society thinks so  – I want that for myself, eventually.”</p><p>Chan hums. ”I think everyone does, in their own way.”</p><p>The room overwhelmingly smells of a vanilla bath bomb, but Chan can still sense the spike of a stronger emotion in Felix’s scent.</p><p>”Maybe this was meant to be,” Felix says. ”It’s the ultimate fuck you to people who will never know of this.”</p><p>”You lost me there, Felix,” Chan says. It’s strange to hear the man speak with such fervour when his body in a state of pleasant afterglow. The duality in his scent is fascinating and a little scary.</p><p>”I’m making money in a slightly shameful way to get away from money,” Felix says cryptically. There is a hard, gleaming smile plastered on his face. He darts his eyes to Chan, and the two of them look at each other for a few seconds. Chan realises right then and there that some part of Felix’s naiveté was a façade all along. A carefully crafted mask to keep both internal and external unpleasantries at bay.</p><p>”I was supposed to be the golden child. My parents gave me my name, which means ‘lucky’ and ‘happy’ in Latin, because they were sure I would be the answer to everything they wanted, that I would make them happy as well as myself. I guess I failed to live up to those premonitions.”</p><p>Chan places a careful hand on top of Felix’s bleached hair. His scent is turning from fresh strawberries to Sour Strips, but he leans into the touch.</p><p>Chan realises that Felix’s heart is wide open for him, albeit shrouded in vague expressions.</p><p>”What will you do with this shameful money?” Chan dares ask.</p><p>”I haven’t decided quite yet,” Felix answers in a lighter tone. The cloud of heavy truths is passing quickly. ”The water is getting cold. Help me up.”</p><p>Chan does so, staring at the wall and trying his best not to focus on the warm slick palm in his. Felix changes into a clean t-shirt and boxers, and Chan shows him his room. He suggests that Felix would take a nap and come downstairs for more food.</p><p>Felix agrees easily, slipping inside the guest bedroom room with a curt nod and a smile.</p><p>It feels strangely insulting that the door closes right in front of Chan’s face, like he was somehow expecting to get invited in. But as Felix said, they had a convenient excuse that has now slipped though their fingers.</p><p>Chan isn’t sure why he is so distraught about the fact.</p><p>He goes back downstairs to find Changbin deep in conversation with Kim Namjoon, the man who co-owns <em>Persona </em>with Chan. Namjoon is highly intelligent and an invaluable business partner, but most importantly, he’s fiercely loyal.</p><p>”You look well. I take that the human we provided was to your liking,” Namjoon says when he sees Chan approaching.</p><p>”He was,” Chan replies tersely. It’s not in his nature to start boasting about these things.  </p><p>Namjoon looks content regardless. The shiny tip of his Oxford shoe keeps tapping against the floor, but he doesn’t seem to be in a terrible hurry.</p><p>“Please repeat to Chan hyung what you were saying to me,” Changbin requests with his face neutral and thoughtful.</p><p>Namjoon clears his throat. ”If you want my advice, I think you should go back to your normal life, show everyone that you’re in good health and confident in your own territory. There are rumours on the streets that the Parks are hesitant to rise against you directly. I don’t know what kind of power you hold over them, but it seems that you have some sort of balance of terror at play here.”</p><p>Chan frowns. “Me neither.”</p><p>Namjoon looks like he has several doubts, but he keeps them to himself.</p><p>Changbin is the next one to talk. ”Tomorrow Felix is having a rest day, right? We could go and show our faces at some popular club, one that neither of the clans own. What do you think?”</p><p>”It’s not a terrible idea,” Chan agrees. “Should we send Felix home for the night, then?”</p><p>”No, I think it would be best if he accompanied us. We want to present ourselves as powerful and influential, as vampires who’re not to be messed with. Having a human at our beck and call fits that image perfectly,” Changbin says with a smile. “But speaking of keeping up appearances, you should probably shower and change.” Changbin is scrunching up his nose, and Chan brings a hand to his neck to find the fabric sticky with blood.</p><p>“You were messier than a baby vampire, hyung,” Changbin teases.</p><p>“Huh, you’re right.” Chan inhales deeply, and notices that the smell of strawberries is still lingering in the air. “Kind of makes me not want to shower ever again.”</p><p>Changbin snickers, smacking him on the shoulder. Namjoon merely rolls his eyes as he’s accustomed to vampiric oddities.</p><p>After saying goodbye to Namjoon and forcing the intolerable Changbin out of his sight, Chan locks himself in the downstairs bathroom and scrubs himself down, trying his best to ignore the obtrusive hard-on he gets from squeezing strawberry-scented body wash out of a pink plastic bottle.</p><p>He’s in so much trouble.</p><p>And knowing that, he still keeps the bloodied shirt.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drunk Felix good. Horny Chan bad.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">twt</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Untruth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix finds himself in a large oval-shaped room with no visible exits. The unfamiliar space is empty with only a rectangular pedestal in the middle, and he's standing up there with no way to move or speak, his arms extended like he has become petrified, his bones fused together at the joints.</p><p>He has fresh, burning wounds all across his arms, and blood flows freely out of them. It’s travelling along the surface of his skin in tiny streams and trickling down his ribs and thighs, gathering in an ever-growing puddle under his feet.</p><p>”Why did you do that to yourself?” someone asks from behind him. It sounds like his father, but the tone is off. Like rusty nails dragged over a glass surface. Felix can’t bend his neck to see for himself.</p><p>”Why did you let that happen to you?”</p><p>Felix tries to answer that he didn’t do anything, that he didn’t let anyone <em>touch</em> him, but blood starts gushing out of the bite on his neck at the lie.</p><p>”Let me bandage your wounds, Felix,” a distant female voice pleads. His mother.</p><p>Felix wants to tell her that it doesn’t make sense to keep bandaging him. The wounds will reopen no matter what. He will bleed again.</p><p>Suddenly there is a crowd of people around him. Their faces are left in the dark with the only source of light hitting Felix’s ruined body. The crowd gasps and wails, but no one will come to his aid. He can’t recognise his parents, either. They’re featureless like the others.</p><p><em>Ding</em>.</p><p>He can’t locate the sound, but it’s eerily familiar.</p><p>”Felix, concentrate,” his father scolds.</p><p>Beneath his soaked feet is a man kneeling, knees pressed into the pool of Felix’s blood.</p><p>”You need to earn your respect, son. Show them the man you are. You can’t let people know of your weaknesses.”</p><p><em>Ding – ding</em>.</p><p>The horrible room ebbs away, replaced by the panelled ceiling of the guest bedroom. Felix’s arms are on fire, he must be dying of massive blood loss –</p><p>He clutches his left arm with his other hand, finding nothing but smooth, unharmed skin. He’s not bleeding out. It was a dream.</p><p>His eyes scan over the room as full awareness finally kicks in. It’s dark, but the screen of his old iPhone is lit up. It’s still weird to have it instead of his shiny foldable Samsung, but he was too paranoid of the possibility that there were location trackers downloaded on the thing, so he left it behind and bought a cheap used phone as a temporary replacement.</p><p>Felix reaches for the phone. It’s quarter past eleven. He must’ve been so tired that he fell asleep before setting an alarm for himself.</p><p>There are three unread messages from Jisung.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>Felix taps Jisung’s contact with trembling fingers. The phone rings at least five times before the line connects, which means there’s a good chance that his friend is keeping him waiting to take his petty revenge.</p><p>“Hello,” Felix whispers. He doesn’t quite trust his voice after the excruciatingly vivid nightmare.</p><p>“So, it wasn’t a date after all,” Jisung answers dryly.</p><p>“I never said it was.” There is a dull ache all over Felix’s neck, and it’s radiating up to his jawbone, making swallowing mildly uncomfortable.</p><p>“Were you asleep? Or are you hurt somewhere?”</p><p>Felix huffs. He wants to say ‘both’.</p><p>“I’m okay,” he says out loud.</p><p>Jisung is sighing and cursing under his breath. Felix can hear the low rumble of a bass through the phone’s speaker, which means Jisung is at the club.  </p><p>“Where are you? The manager refused to tell me,” Jisung asks. He sounds worried, wary.</p><p> Felix bites his lip. “I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say. The contract was –“</p><p>His voice is cut off by a high-pitched scream. “<em>What</em> did you just say? You of all people signed a fucking feeding contract?”</p><p>“Jisungie,” Felix says, his stomach doing wild somersaults at his friend's rare cursing, “I knew that you would take it the wrong way given your umm, history, but it’s just that I really need the money –“ Felix’s voice trails off, and it takes Jisung a long time to reply. It was a mistake to bring his past relationship up, Felix can tell from the heavy silence.</p><p>“You are seriously using that against me when I’m just worrying for your safety? That’s a low blow, Felix.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Felix says miserably. He sits up on the bed, wincing from unexpected soreness. He’s not overly dizzy, but there is a sense of dreadful exhaustion settling deep into his bones.</p><p>“You should just get out before anything happens. You don’t know what it’s like –“</p><p>“But I <em>do</em> know,” Felix snaps, “and I’m fine. I get paid well, so what’s the problem?”</p><p>Jisung gasps, loudly. “Ho– how did it feel?”</p><p>Felix hesitates. “I don’t remember it all that well, to be honest. It felt a sting and then drifted off. Afterwards I felt like I was swimming in warm cotton, and everything seemed funny to me.”</p><p>“So you didn’t have any adverse effects?” Jisung sounds dead serious. Too serious to just harbour general worry for his friend’s well-being.  </p><p>“Is laughing at inappropriate times and saying some stupid shit considered an adverse effect?” Felix keeps his tone light, but he thinks about the moment when he came back from his sleep-like state. How he felt like he wanted Chan to never stop drinking. How he begged out loud for more.</p><p>Felix bites down on the inside of his cheek until there’re indents of his molars left on the mucosa.</p><p>“Listen, can we talk later? I think they’ll want me to stay overnight, considering no one came to wake me up after the f– feeding.” The last word has an unnecessarily sharp edge to it.</p><p>“They? How many vampires are there?”</p><p>“I’m not sure yet,” Felix admits sheepishly, “but I’ll be mainly interacting with the clan leader.”</p><p>“Keep it that way,” Jisung threatens. “I can’t make choices for you, but I can urge you to be careful. Do not trust what they say.”</p><p>At the other end of the line a door opens with a heavy creak, and the music grows louder.</p><p>“Shit, I got to run. Text me in the morning so that I know they haven’t sucked your body dry yet. I hate your guts for this, Yongbokie!”</p><p>The line disconnects right after that. Their boss probably discovered his hiding place.</p><p>Felix’s hands are sweaty. He lets the phone slip from his grip and onto the sheets. It’s maddeningly quiet now, his own breathing and the gentle rustling of linen his only companions.</p><p>Felix turns on the bedside lamp. Everything in the room looks expensive and uniform, just like the rest of the house. Dark colours, soft fabrics. Traditional paintings on the walls. Felix wonders if Chan has acquired the pieces straight from the artists over the years. It doesn’t sound all too improbable.</p><p>Felix throws on a blue jumper and a pair of tight-fitting joggers. The collar of his shirt doesn’t quite cover up the marks and the purple bruises blooming around them in a ring-like pattern, but it shouldn’t be a huge issue. It’s not exactly a secret why he’s there in the first place.  </p><p>He’s surprisingly unbothered by the marks himself.</p><p>Felix tears his eyes away from the mirror propped against the wall. From his pale skin and flushed cheeks.</p><p>He slips out of the room and into the hallway. Half-way down the stairs he hears someone speaking.</p><p>“Who in God’s name brought strawberry shower gel into my house?” It’s Chan’s voice, booming and irritated. Felix stops in his tracks to listen to the conversation unfold.</p><p>“Was it Minho? I swear you fools won’t like what happens when I find out –“</p><p>“Woah, that’s like the definition of toxic masculinity. I thought you knew better, Channie.”</p><p>Felix isn’t quite sure who the other speaker is, but the tone is pleasant, teasing. He’s clearly fond of Chan.</p><p>“Don’t call me Channie, I’m annoyed enough as it is,” Chan shoots back.</p><p>Multiple voices burst into laughter.</p><p>“It’s not our fault if you cannot handle the little ttalgi. Speaking of the devil, isn’t someone breathing awfully loudly in the stairwell?” That voice Felix does recognise. It’s Seungmin from the club. He shudders.</p><p>All noises cease, and Felix knows he has to move, his location has been compromised. The last few stairs creak under his socked feet. A door nearby is ajar, light spilling out onto the dark wooden floor. Felix knocks the door with a single knuckle as a courtesy.</p><p>He steps into a modern kitchen that bathes in electric light unlike any other room in the house. There’s a huge island counter in the middle with grey granite countertops, and five vampires in total are gathered around it. Changbin is sitting on a barstool with an unfamiliar vampire, and Chan is standing at the sink with another one. The silver haired vampire called Hyunjin is sitting on the counter with his long legs dangling freely in the air. Chan has changed into a t-shirt and a pair of comfortable trousers just like Felix. He looks remarkably healthy now with borrowed blood giving his cheeks a rosy glow. Chan’s eyes are molten chocolate under a pair of furrowed brows, and his hair looks impossibly shiny under the bright lights.</p><p>“Sleep well, ttalgi?” the vampire who has to be Seungmin asks. Hearing the nickname being used for the third time already gets Felix to raise his brows. Everyone in the room has their eyes fixed on Felix, and he realises a little too late that he’s expected to give some kind of answer to the question.  </p><p>“Like a baby,” he lies smoothly. It feels easy to slip into apprehension when five supernatural creatures are staring him down like he’s a late-night snack ready to be eaten.</p><p>Seungmin flashes him an approving smile. He has much softer features and kinder eyes than Felix expected. The vampire is leaning into the counter behind him, a half-full glass of blood in his palm. He tilts the glass, and the liquid sloshes to the side. It looks way too thick to be just regular human blood.</p><p>The vampire notices Felix staring, and he smirks. “It’s red blood cells and plum syrup. We’ve gotten quite creative with old age.”</p><p>Felix nods dumbly. He can’t look away from how the vampire’s throat bobs as he swallows the concoction down.</p><p>Chan claps his hands together all of a sudden, and all heads turn to him like they’re attached to one body.</p><p>“I think some introductions are in order. This is Felix, and this is my clan,” he says with a cursory wave of his hand. “Changbin is my second in command and the second-oldest. These two are Minho and Seungmin. Hyunjin is currently our maknae as he was turned less than a year ago. I think you two are the same age,” Chan ends with a smile.</p><p>Felix bows stiffly. The vampire next to Changbin, Minho, looks rather pale and uninterested, but he gives Felix a nod. Changbin wraps an arm over Minho’s shoulders, and the other vampire closes his eyes at the touch.</p><p>Hyunjin doesn’t say anything, but he turns his piercing blue eyes to Felix at the mention of their age. Even though Chan told him not to worry, Felix cowers under the intense gaze.</p><p>“Are you hungry, Felix?” Changbin asks softly.</p><p>“A little,” he admits.</p><p>“Good, because we need something to bribe you with.”</p><p>Chan throws Changbin an irritated look, but he doesn’t say anything.</p><p>“What do you mean, Changbin –“ Felix tries to find a suitable honorific.</p><p>“Hyung is fine,” Changbin helps. His eyes twinkle. “The time for vampire lords is long gone, thankfully.”</p><p>He gets up from his seat and starts rummaging through the cabinets. There’s a surprising amount of human food on the selves.</p><p>“Quite frankly, we would like to take advantage of you,” Changbin continues with a serious face.</p><p>“Wh– what would you have me do?”</p><p>Chan walks up to Changbin and flicks Changbin across the forehead. Changbin laughs and presses the edge of his palm against his bangs.</p><p>“Horrible things. We’d like to take you clubbing tomorrow. Now, would you like some seafood pasta?”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The club is located in a prestigious area, and the clientele is similar to <em>Persona</em>’s – rich and bored. Felix feels thoroughly out of place in his borrowed clothing, a black button-up and fashionably loose-fitting slacks. He has a fancy watch from Chan’s personal collection on his wrist, and his hair is slicked back and down his neck. The whole look screams ‘heir to a mob empire’, but Changbin almost assured him of the fact that he looks decent.</p><p>Chan is in one of his black suits, with a crimson silk shirt partly visible under the jacket. From what little experience Felix has, it seems that the vampire has two looks and nothing in between: full formal wear or sweatpants and a beanie. Chan has accentuated his eyes with black liner, and his lips are bright red from either the recent feeding or a touch of lip tint. Perhaps both.</p><p>Changbin and Minho are tagging along, dressed in all black and scanning the crowd like two bodyguards. The sight is almost comical. Hyunjin and Seungmin stayed behind to watch the house, as there was some kind of break-in a while ago.</p><p>Felix has received imperative orders to stay by Chan’s side for the entire night. As if to reinforce the rule, the vampire offers Felix his arm like an old-timey gentleman. It’s surprisingly painless to give in and let Chan drag him around like an oversized doll.</p><p>Chan casually orders three Ruby Martinis with an added shot of blood, and Felix can’t believe his eyes when the bartender takes his order with a look of slight interest and turns to whip a blood bag out of the fridge behind him.</p><p>”I have O positive here. Is that alright?”</p><p>Chan replies with a polite nod. ”What would you like?” he asks Felix.</p><p>The bartender is staring at Felix with a certain degree of hostility, as if to say: ’make it quick you’re wasting my time’, so Felix panics and orders a gin and tonic because it’s the only drink name that pops into his head.</p><p>Chan pays the bill with a matte black credit card. The sum is considerable due to the special orders, but he doesn’t even blink. It makes Felix think about the money that will be deposited into his own account in a few short weeks. The thought makes his body thrum with nervous energy.</p><p>They go to the seating area at the back, and the vampires proceed to unceremoniously squish Felix between their unyielding bodies. Felix is way too aware of how Chan’s thigh presses into his own from hip to knee, his presence cold but steady. Changbin is at his other side, legs crossed at the knee and ringed fingers resting elegantly on top of each other. His thick, glossy hair is parted at the side, revealing most of his forehead.</p><p>Felix takes a tiny sip of his drink. It tastes like forest floor and something tart, but it’s not as unpleasant as he feared.</p><p>”Does every bar stock human blood these days?”</p><p>Chan laughs. ”Definitely not. But it’s a good business for the few that do, because vampires tend to be loyal customers. We have all the time in our hands to loiter about. Some establishments even carry an assortment of different blood types to cater to individual tastes.”</p><p>Felix shivers imagining a menu that specifies human flavour profiles like types of wine.</p><p>”How do they differ?” he asks out of morbid curiosity.</p><p>”Well, O blood has no antigens, which makes it smooth and non-distinct. It mixes well with alcohol,” Chan explains while stirring his Martini with a cocktail stick.</p><p>“I like O the best,” Minho interjects all of a sudden. The vampire has already knocked down half of his drink, and he seems kind of disappointed by the fact.</p><p>Chan gives him a stern look, the meaning of which Felix can’t figure out.</p><p>“I mean – just generally speaking –” Minho stammers. He sounds out of breath, like he’s getting slowly suffocated by an invisible force. The vampire is curling in on himself.</p><p>The silence that follows is pregnant with unpleasant tension. Chan seems reluctant to let it go, and Minho is refusing to meet their eyes anymore. He’s cradling the glass between his fingers like it’s an invaluable treasure.</p><p>Changbin coughs, and it’s so fake that it makes Felix grimace inwardly.</p><p>“A type blood is quite sweet and sometimes even spicy. Great in the long winter months,” Changbin says in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood. “And B type is fruity and light. It reminds me of pears for some reason.”</p><p>“As for AB, it’s usually somewhere in the middle. It has both rich and fresh undernotes. That’s why it’s my personal favourite,” Chan concludes.</p><p>Felix feels heat rush to his cheeks. He tries to drown his reaction in his glass, taking a too-big gulp of his drink. The bubbles go into his nose, and he ends up splattering tonic water all over his trousers.</p><p>“Look at you go Channie hyung, flustering our human guest,” Changbin laughs.</p><p>“I’ll go dry myself off,” Felix says, even though the liquid has already soaked into the fabric. Changbin moves his legs to give him room to slip out of the booth.</p><p>“I can come with you,” Changbin offers. He puts his cocktail back on the table.</p><p>Felix raises a hand. “I’ll be back in two minutes.” The vampires have nearly perfect line of sight to the corridor leading to the toilets.</p><p>“I think you should –“ Felix gestures toward the miserable-looking Minho. “I get that whatever it is might not be for my ears.”</p><p>Chan gives Felix a gentle nod. “Two minutes, or we’ll come running,” he says with a half-hearted smile. It’s a sweet threat.</p><p>The hallway leading to the toilets is much less noisy, and the change in decibels is making his ears ring a little. The air smells of disinfectant and chlorite. Felix has barely panned around the corner when a cold hand tightens around his forearm. The touch is so sudden and unexpected that Felix’s entire body jerks back.</p><p>He turns his head to see a woman in her mid-twenties behind him, short despite her high-heeled boots. Her lips are deep red colour as she smiles.</p><p>“Excuse me?” she asks in a voice that is simultaneously low-pitched and childish. She’s conventionally beautiful with long dark hair and large eyes decorated with shimmering eyeshadow and rhinestones.</p><p>Several alarms start ringing in Felix’s head out of nowhere.</p><p>“I’m sorry but my friends –“ Felix says, trying to gently pull away from the surprisingly tight grip.</p><p>“You’re Felix, right?”</p><p>Felix’s heart skips a beat. Then another. A horrible sense of dread fills him to his bone marrow. The world seems to narrow down to nothing but the impeccable black nail polish decorating the woman’s fingers as he stares at the hand still holding him just above the elbow.</p><p>
  <em>How did they find him so fast?</em>
</p><p>Her fingernails are digging into Felix’s skin through the layer of fabric, most likely bruising tiny crescent moons onto his arm. The amount of strength is borderline – superhuman.  </p><p>Felix needs to get away now and think of the bizarreness of the situation later.</p><p>“We should probably go and talk somewhere more private,” she says like it’s not a suggestion at all. She starts pulling him forward, and Felix plants his heels firmly to the ground, even though he knows he can’t resist for long. She must be a vampire who has fed very recently and applied copious amounts of makeup to achieve the appearance of a particularly pale human being.</p><p>Felix weighs his options. He could scream to attract attention or make a run for it. The vampire doesn’t seem outright hostile, but he doesn’t know what kind of instructions –   </p><p>”Felix, here you are! We were getting worried.” Changbin appears next to Felix from thin air. There’s no way two minutes have already passed, and Felix has the irrational urge to scold his saviour.</p><p>The vampire lets go instantly, as if Felix’s arm has turned acidic. She’s no longer smiling, but her teeth are fully exposed. A low warning hiss is forming at the back of her mouth.</p><p>Changbin slips an arm around Felix’s waist and squeezes so tightly that air is nearly punched out of his lungs. Felix wills his face to stay as neutral as possible.</p><p>The female vampire glances at Changbin and then at the hand circling Felix’s waist.</p><p>”I’m sorry, didn’t realise you were with him,” she says, drawing out her vowels. She’s still soft-spoken, but her stance is aggressive with her knees bent and impossibly high heels grinding against the linoleum.</p><p>”Yes, he’s ours. You Parks should know better than to try anything in the middle of a clear night,” Changbin growls. The pads of his fingers are pressing painfully into his side, and Felix knows he’ll be littered with bruises by tomorrow.</p><p><em>Ours</em>.</p><p>“Don’t tell me what to –“ the vampire starts, but Changbin interrupts her mercilessly.</p><p>“Get out of my sight before I rip your fangs out in one go. I’ve done it before, don’t think I’d go easy on you because you’re a girl.”</p><p>Her eyes glaze over the narrow corridor for possible exits, coming full circle back to Felix.</p><p>Changbin looks absolutely enraged. “It’s three versus one, so you shouldn’t take your chances. We would make you scream, beg for us to grant you re-death.”</p><p>The female vampire turns to look over her shoulder as if to check something. No backup in sight for her. Felix is almost at awe how calmly she’s taking Changbin’s vile threats.</p><p>After what feels like a small eternity, the vampire mutters something under her breath and ducks back into the main bar area. Felix stands rigid in Changbin’s death grip for a few moments, trying his best not to collapse. After he’s certain she’s gone for real, Felix lets all air escape his lungs in one huge burst. The amount of carbon dioxide he was holding in makes it almost painful.  </p><p>”What was that about?” Changbin asks. He’s back to normal just like that, as if he didn’t threaten to mutilate someone less than a minute ago.</p><p>Felix forces himself to swallow the frothy spit pooling under his tongue. He feels nauseous.</p><p>
  <em>You’re Felix, right?</em>
</p><p>“No idea,” he exclaims, shaking his head forcefully. “I think she saw me with Chan hyung earlier and wanted to ask me about him.”</p><p>Changbin doesn’t seem to catch onto his lies. Perhaps he’s getting far too comfortable with them. Even if he is, it doesn’t make the unsettling churn in his gut go away.</p><p>Felix nearly yelps when the cold tip of Changbin’s nose grazes the side of his throat. His hair smells like eucalyptus shampoo as it presses against Felix’s cheek.</p><p>“You smell distressed,” the vampire mumbles against his neck. His lips rest close to the bite marks left by Chan. “Let’s go find Chan hyung and get out of here,” he says and gently pulls away.</p><p>Felix suppresses a whimper.</p><p>“Is she one of the vampires you’re having problems with?” Felix asks quietly, trusting that Changbin’s sensitive ears would catch his barely voiced words.</p><p>Changbin nods, mouth pressed into a thin line. Their eyes meet for a brief moment, beautiful, pensive eyes that tear a hole straight into Felix’s soul. Unsaid words hang heavy on Felix’s tongue.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Changbin says gently, taking Felix’s hand. Their fingers intertwine effortlessly.</p><p>Chan is still where they left him. He’s nodding at something Minho said, handsome and care-free. But then he looks up just to witness the strained looks on both of their faces. Chan springs up from his seat so fast his figure goes blurry for a second.</p><p>Changbin does some kind of sign gesture with his free hand, and all three vampires start heading for the exit in perfect unison. Felix is once again like ragdoll being moved around by his limbs, but he knows better than to complain about the pace.</p><p>As they reach outside air, Changbin turns around and releases his grip on Felix’s hand. There are thrash bags piled at the side of the road, and the smell is making Felix feel ill all over again. He wraps his arms over his trembling body. It’s still a bit too cold to be outside without a jacket.</p><p>“A female vampire tried to talk to Felix,” Changbin explains with his face contorted in anger and worry. “I’m pretty sure her name is Kim Jisoo, she’s one of Park’s personal friends.</p><p>“Why did I ever listen to you?” Chan barks. “It was a terrible idea to bring Felix here. Something could’ve happened.” He shrugs off his suit jacket and wraps it loosely around Felix whose teeth are starting to clatter. The garment smells like Chan, and it’s just enough to overpower other unpleasant smells.</p><p>“I’ll go after her,” Minho says, teeth gleaming under the pale orange light from the streetlamp.</p><p>“It’s too dangerous,” Chan objects.</p><p>“I’ll just tail her, see where she goes and who she meets. I’m your best tracker and you know that.”</p><p>“Turn around at the first sight of trouble,” Chan says. He leans closer to the other vampire and continues talking in a hushed voice. Felix can barely make out the words.</p><p>“No matter what kind of headspace you’ve been in for these past few months – I won’t have you act recklessly under my watch. Understood?”</p><p>Minho nods, eyes lowered in respect.</p><p>“Go before her trail becomes muddled, then.”</p><p>Felix has never seen someone run that fast, with such elegance. Minho turns on his heels and disappears into a dark alleyway between two buildings.  </p><p>The rest of them get into the sleek Cadillac in an uncomfortable silence. Changbin drives despite having drunk the cocktail, and Felix is too overwhelmed to question whether they’re breaking the law or if high alcohol tolerance is yet another quirk of being a vampire.</p><p>Chan is sitting with Felix in the backseat, carefully studying his face, and Felix can tell the vampire isn’t liking what he’s seeing.</p><p>“Did she say something to scare you? You’re trembling so much, Felix.”</p><p>Felix shakes his head again and again. He’s numb inside and outside.</p><p>“Did she touch you?” Chan asks next, voice rising in pitch and volume.</p><p>On instinct Felix reaches his other hand to trail the patch of skin where the vampire’s sharp nails dug into his flesh.</p><p>Chan looks like he wants to punch something. Murder someone.</p><p>“I’m so sorry I put you through that. I was being way too careless,” he apologises. “I want to promise that you don’t have to meet her ever again, that she won’t get a chance at bothering you, but my promises seem to mean very little these days.” Chan sounds highly disappointed in himself.</p><p>Felix breathes in shallow inhales, lungs aching. He wonders if he’s going into a mild panic attack. At least the symptoms match.</p><p>The lines of Chan’s face are rigorously sharp like cut stones. Felix’s mind is blurry, but he thinks that Chan resembles a Greek statue, something that has become white and unblemished from years and years of getting exposed to the elements. He has no layers of paint over his character.</p><p>Felix feels like crying a little. Maybe he is crying, and Chan is looking away from being polite. Felix doesn’t care about being polite.</p><p>He doesn’t care.</p><p>“Chan hyung?”</p><p>“Yes, Felix?”</p><p>Felix’s throat constricts around the words he’s trying to articulate. His palms tingle from the emotion bubbling up just beneath the surface.</p><p>“Hold me,” he breathes out, “please.”</p><p>Chan is out of his seatbelt in an instant. Strong hands circle Felix’s waist, moulding and manipulating his warm body into Chan’s cold one until they are a singular entity. Felix presses his cheek flat against Chan’s shoulder.</p><p>The image of the strange vampire starts fading out like a broken radio switching channels. </p><p>Felix feels almost at peace.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Why you always lying, Felix?</p><p>Here's my <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you want to come yell at me :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Exigency</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welp, this chapter is a rollercoaster and a half.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a rare phenomenon for early spring, but a thunderstorm breaks out on their way home. The erratic flashes of white and the glow of streetlights give Felix’s skin a pale glow, making him look almost vampiric. Chan’s jacket is too wide at the shoulders for him, it swallows Felix whole.</p><p>Chan meets Changbin’s eyes through the rear-view mirror, and in that moment, Chan feels overwhelming gratitude toward his friend. Even though he can’t ever have Changbin’s affections, he’s allowed this much. From time to time Changbin lets him see inside his soul with one glance.</p><p>“We’ll be there soon,” Changbin murmurs.</p><p>Nothing could make Chan doubt a promise made by him.</p><p>The Cadillac comes to a smooth stop only a few minutes later. Felix raises his head, dazed, but walks inside ahead of the vampires, nodding his hello to Hyunjin who has come to welcome them back.</p><p>“I can’t sleep tonight. I’m afraid of the thunder,” Felix declares. He’s standing in the middle of the living room looking ethereal. He’s still wearing Chan’s jacket like a cloak.</p><p>Chan knows very well that Felix didn’t so much as flinch when the storm came over them on their way home, but he doesn’t call him out for his lie. Felix doesn’t owe them anything.</p><p>Felix wanted Chan to hold him.</p><p>Felix is in this mess because of Chan.</p><p>“Come play chess with me,” Changbin suggests, and Chan feels like the voice is coming from another planet.</p><p>Felix agrees with a determined nod of his head, and the two recede into the corner of the living room. Seungmin comes to Chan and complains he’s hungry and bored, so Chan sends him to the club to find someone to feed on. It leaves nothing else to do for Chan than to hold a terse conversation with Hyunjin and anxiously await Minho’s return.</p><p>They quickly fall into placid anticipation, which means no one is actively showing their worry. Minutes blur into a string of hours. Felix is still refusing to call it a night, insisting that he wants to stay in a nocturnal schedule for the remaining of his contract. Chan exchanges a look with Changbin, but ultimately neither is brave enough to exert any kind of authority over the man.  </p><p>An indefinite amount of time has passed at snail’s pace. Hyunjin is lying down on the couch, balancing a tumbler full of blood on his belly even though he doesn’t seem particularly thirsty. Chan is pacing in front of the fireplace that rarely gets used. Felix and Changbin are still playing, but neither seems to really care about winning the game, so they’ve been making stupid mistakes from the start.</p><p>The six-digit keycode being punched in jostles everyone awake from their collectively dazed state.</p><p>“I wasn’t reckless,” Minho yells from the door, and the sound is like a pistol shot in the quiet stillness of the house.</p><p>Chan smells Minho’s blood before he can’t see the vampire, and it alone sets him into full panic mode. Minho peeks his head into the living room, looking extremely guilty.</p><p>“What happened?” Chan demands. He tries not to sound angry. Grounding Minho until the start of the 22nd century is always an option for later.  </p><p>The vampire steps into full view. He has lost his suit jacket somewhere along the way, and the front of his dress shirt is slashed open diagonally from his left shoulder down to his hip. The edges of the torn fabric are clinging to his skin and making it hard to assess the extent of the damage. Felix gasps audibly at the back.</p><p>“I wasn’t acting out of turn,” Minho says again. He’s getting unsettlingly bluish from the blood loss, but at least he’s standing on his own two feet.</p><p>“I thought I was keeping my distance, but she led me straight into a trap and cornered me. Jisoo or whatever the hell her name is started screaming in my face. It was something about our lack of morals, that we have gone too far in our greed for power and territory. I gave her a nice black eye for all that nonsense, and she returned the favour by attaching her claws firmly into my chest.”</p><p>Minho uses his bloodied hand to trace the gash in his chest with somewhat clinical interest. Judging by the pungent smell of iron, it’s quite deep and actively bleeding still.</p><p>Changbin clears his throat to get their attention. He’s still standing at the side, arm around Felix who is trembling like an aspen leaf and leaning heavily into the vampire for support. His humane distress is in high contrast with the vampires crouching into aggressive stances, instinctively preparing to fight for their clan.</p><p>“If they are going to keep sending death threats written in blood and accusing us of absurd things, we need to prepare for anything and everything,” Changbin says with unexpected passion. He tightens his grip on Felix, who winces at the vampire’s words.</p><p>“I see that now,” Chan admits. “We should probably start sparring together again. If Minho was bested by a small woman, I think the situation is quite dire.”</p><p>“Hyung,” Minho complains. He’s already peeling his blood-soaked shirt off, and Felix looks like he’s about to faint. It’s understandable considering that he doesn’t have a grasp of the extent of vampiric healing abilities.</p><p>“Changbin, would you take Felix upstairs,” Chan orders, getting into full leader mode for the first time in a long while. “And Minho, Seungmin is at <em>Persona</em>. Would you like to go and –“ Chan curses under his breath. “Never mind, have a full bag of blood and get rid of those clothes. You’re dripping blood all over the clean floors.”</p><p>“Yes, hyungnim,” Minho says with a bow – it’s half sass and half respect, so Chan might as well take it. At least Minho doesn’t seem like he’s gone out of his way to get hurt, and that’s all what matters to him.</p><p>Changbin doesn’t argue either. He puts a palm at the small of Felix’s back and leads him out of sight with exceptional speed.</p><p>The white king lies flat on the chessboard, knocked over by accident. The sight sends chills down Chan’s spine.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>It is time for the second feeding. Felix comes to him unprompted, rolling up a sleeve with his delicate fingers.</p><p>”Will you have my wrist this time?” he asks with a shaky smile, and Chan’s heart almost explodes with an unspecified emotion.</p><p>Chan walks up to him and closes his fingers around the exposed skin. He leads Felix to the small sofa in his office. It’s very quiet in the room, and Felix’s heart is so loud.</p><p>”Would you have ever agreed to this if you knew what it was like – the feeding, getting high on the venom?” Chan asks.</p><p>The questions are clouded in bitter smoke. Felix stares at him right through it.</p><p>”Are you asking me if I think it’s unethical? That you drug me and use me for sustenance when I’m at my most vulnerable?”</p><p>The words feel like a knife to Chan’s stagnant heart, but he sees that there is no real hostility in Felix’s eyes. His head is tilted to the side, a curious little thing.</p><p>”I’m asking if you’re handling it or not.” It comes of harsher than Chan wanted, but the irrational need to protect Felix from harm rages inside him.</p><p>Felix bites his lip then, hard, and sucks it inside his mouth as if to soothe the sting caused by himself. Chan wants to grab him by the jaw and kiss it better himself. He wants to lick him open and see what’s inside when all of Felix’s layers shed like an arctic animal losing its white fur come springtime. It’s a vivid fantasy.</p><p>In desperation, Chan flicks his gaze downward to where he’s still holding Felix’s wrist loosely between his fingers. He feels the quick pulse under the thin skin, promising oh so much.</p><p>”You still haven’t answered. There’s always a way out of the contract if you’re uncomfortable with –”</p><p>”I’m scared,” Felix says, piercing the air with the few short words.</p><p>Chan blinks at him, jaw clenching. He lets go of Felix, and the man’s arm flops down against his side like as if he has no control of his own limbs.</p><p>”I’m scared because I like it. Because last time I didn’t exactly want it to stop.”</p><p>Chan knows he would feel faint if vampires weren’t immune to changes in blood pressure.</p><p>“So, you did like it,” Chan repeats dumbly, his voice wavering. He swallows down a glob of thick spit.</p><p>Felix’s voice diminishes, curls inward until it’s nothing but a whisper. “Is it bad if I enjoy it?”</p><p>Define bad, Chan thinks. It’s getting all muddy with every second Chan spends alone with Felix. Chan is supposed to hate it when humans ask for more, but with Felix it just makes him worried and moderately horny.</p><p>As if to actively mock Chan, the collar of Felix’s sweater falls dangerously low. As the man bends forward to brace his palms on his knees, Chan can see how his collar bones rise and fall in the rhythm of his breathing. He wonders if Felix’s chest would bruise a beautiful blue-purple under his cold lips. If Felix would throw his head back and ask for more.</p><p>Chan presses his tongue firmly against the tips of his canines which are threatening to extend prematurely. Physically restricting them hurts quite badly, but he knows he deserves the pain for his impure thoughts.</p><p>“You know I can’t be completely impartial as this is essentially a service that I’m buying from you,” Chan replies after a long silence. He inhales deeply to draw courage from the sweet hum of Felix’s blood. “I don’t want you to be out of control, but I cannot say I hate the idea of you wanting it, wanting me to bite.”</p><p>“Let’s say it’s a symbiotic relationship, what we have. Blood trickles out of my veins, and in turn money flows into my  bank account,” Felix decides. The cruel rationality of the statement is simultaneously a relief and a disappointment to Chan.  </p><p>“Take my wrist,” Felix ushers, sounding almost annoyed. He lowers his arm into Chan’s palms like it’s a challenge.</p><p>Chan isn’t strong-willed a vampire enough to turn one down.</p><p>“Lean back into the pillows – just like that, good. They’re brand new, by the way,” Chan instructs with a wry smile. “Just relax and earn some money.”</p><p>Felix chuckles weakly and then closes his eyes. The loss of eye contact stings, but it gives Chan some room to get his head straight, to eye-ball a good spot to bite down on and prepare for the feeding.</p><p>In a moment of insanity, Chan brings Felix’s wrist to his lips and presses his lips to the pulse point there. Breath hitches in Felix’s throat, his lips parting in surprise.</p><p>Chan bites down as soon as their eyes meet again.</p><p>Felix cries out low from his throat. His fingers flex from pain and surprise, cupping Chan’s cheek and accidentally grazing his ear. Chan is sure to quickly detach his fangs to prevent more venom from getting into Felix’s blood stream.</p><p>He tastes impossibly sweet again, but there is a tart note of fear mixed in, the fear of uncertainty. The vampire in him rejoices, and his lingering humanity shares Felix’s fear.</p><p>Unlike the last time, Felix stays mostly lucid during the feeding. He keeps glancing at Chan and at his own wrist half-way inside the vampire’s mouth. He’s watching Chan swallow his blood in big, slow gulps.</p><p>He’s also breathing heavily and arching his back from the pillows with each consecutive suck.</p><p>It takes Chan multiple minutes to realise that Felix is getting aroused. The sour undertone of fear is so prevalent on his tongue that it’s all he can taste. Chan finally catches onto how sweat drips down Felix’s temple, and how the man has thrown a large pillow across his thighs.</p><p>Chan doesn’t know how to make it more comfortable for Felix, despite his grand words from a few days prior. He can’t pretend it’s nothing when Felix is staring him down with bright red blotches on the apples of his cheeks, his nose scrunched up in the memory of pain and maybe something else, too.</p><p>Felix’s mind doesn’t seem clouded by an accidental overdose of venom this time. The cause of his shaking thighs and blown-out pupils lies elsewhere. With that knowledge, Chan takes his last gulp of blood. He slowly runs his tongue over the punctures, soothing, numbing the sting.</p><p>Felix is panting with his jaw hanging ajar on its hinge.</p><p>Chan wants to say it’s okay, that everything is normal and fine and that it’s very much natural to associate the feeding with something sexual – but the words won’t come out.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>For the rest of the evening and night Felix avoids Chan like the plague. Chan sees him having a conversation with Changbin and Hyunjin in the kitchen, but as soon as he approaches, Felix hides behind Changbin’s back and peeks out of his hiding spot with a cherry red face. After Felix has escapes the situation with a poor excuse, Changbin attacks Chan with a litany of highly personal questions, and Chan ends up storming off like a hormonal teenager himself.</p><p>Just before sunrise Felix comes to him looking small, informing Chan of his plans to visit the flat he’s sharing with a friend. Chan feel uneasy about it, but he can’t exactly stop Felix from going on his rest day. He tries to find solace in the fact that Felix agrees to return before sundown, and that he doesn’t mind taking Jeongin with him as a combined chaperone and driver.</p><p>Felix’s reasoning is that he needs to grab fresh clothes and try to reassure his roommate who isn’t very fond of his unusual occupation. Although Chan is pretty sure the main reason is having an excuse to get away from the house if only for a couple of hours. Chan can’t really fault Felix after their unprofessional staring competition and attempts at covering up unwanted erections.</p><p>After the feeding Chan had to masturbate in the shower twice in order to calm himself down, and now he feels like a disgusting excuse for a vampire.</p><p>Chan starts a new night of denying sexual attraction and worrying for the safety of his clan by inviting Changbin for a sparring session. They are of similar build and age, so their matches are always interesting and even. They practice together for an hour, and after that it’s Hyunjin’s turn.</p><p>“Hyung, it’s so hard to know what you’re about to –“</p><p>Chan grabs Hyunjin at the middle and proceeds to throw him over his shoulder with little effort. The baby vampire lands on the floor in a heap of long limbs.</p><p>“If you can’t smell me coming, you need to use your eyes and ears. Or did you lose those as well?” Chan taunts without putting any actual malice behind the words.</p><p>Hyunjin scoffs and springs upright with an appropriate amount of elegance. The vampire is eyeing Chan up and down, and Chan has a brief flashback to last spring when he saw Hyunjin for the last time with his warm brown human eyes, middle-parted dark hair framing his face. He was waving at Chan from across the street.</p><p>Hyunjin uses his moment of sentimentality ruthlessly to this advantage. He lodges one arm around Chan’s torso and tangles another in his hair, sending spikes of pain across his scalp. They topple over together, and with the surprise momentum Chan manages to break free from his hold. He rolls to the side, out of the reach of his opponent’s flailing arms, and rises up on the balls of his feet and the tips of his fingers in an animalistic manner. He bares his teeth to Hyunjin with a soft growl, knowing that his fangs are not extended in reality.</p><p>“You need to break contact faster,” Chan instructs while keeping his crouched posture. “If you aren’t strong, you need to be fast.”</p><p>Hyunjin is getting irritated and a little humiliated. “I am fast,” he grits. The vampire stands up to hover over Chan’s form. “And I’m big, too.”</p><p>Chan wraps a hand around Hyunjin’s calf so fast that he doesn’t have time to react. The vampire falls straight onto his backside with a loud yelp, but he manages to kick his leg free from Chan’s iron grip.</p><p>“Why do you keep pulling me down?” Hyunjin demands. Multiple strands of silvery hair have come loose from his ponytail, and his fangs are partially out from play aggression. Not that he would actually use them against Chan, but his instincts aren’t refined enough yet to differentiate a mock fight from a real one.</p><p>“Because I don’t want you to rely on your larger form. There’re always people bigger than you, so it would be foolish to count on that,” Chan explains. He climbs on top of Hyunjin before the other vampire has time to get up. Chan straddles his chest and places his hands on top of his windpipe. It’s a gesture of domination more than anything, an imitation of fangs biting down to humiliate, as vampires don’t need oxygen to live.</p><p>“Imagine that I’m bending over to rip your throat open. I’m getting distracted and cocky. Try to break free now.”</p><p>Hyunjin obeys immediately, planting his heels firmly onto the floor and using his core to lift Chan up. Chan resists by tightening his grip on Hyunjin’s throat, but the vampire ultimately manages to fling his body off of him. Chan’s back hits the wall behind him with a loud thud, and he lands on his feet like a cat.</p><p>“Very good. Old vampires are predictable creatures, so your best bet is to work against their habits.”</p><p>“You’re roasting yourself here,” Hyunjin smiles. “Let’s go again.”</p><p>“Yeah, let’s –“</p><p>Chan smells strawberries mixed with liquor, strong and a little spicy. Instinctively his eyes dart to the door where Felix is peeking in so that only a glint of one eye and the side of his button nose are visible.</p><p>Hyunjin is facing Chan, oblivious to the abrupt change in the air.</p><p>“Jinnie, wait a sec.”</p><p>Judging by his scent, Chan could maybe get Felix to stand still for two minutes, or at least long enough for Chan to apologise for his behaviour and make sure he’s okay.</p><p>“Felix, a word in my office?” he asks.</p><p>Felix lets out a cute little gasp, and his eye disappears from view. Chan practically bolts after him.</p><p>Much to his surprise, Felix goes to the study on his own. He walks up to Chan’s desk and leans against the polished surface, arms crossed over his chest. He’s wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck, which conveniently hides every mark and bruise on his body.  </p><p>“You wanted a word?” he asks as Chan closes the door behind him. Felix’s voice is quite harsh, and it doesn’t match his rich scent in the slightest.</p><p>Chan tries to smooth out his hair where Hyunjin grabbed it as a last resort, suddenly self-conscious of his appearance.</p><p>“Did you have a nice afternoon with your friend?”</p><p>“He’s pretty mad at me,” Felix replies. “I think he’s had some bad experiences with your kind. He works at your club, too.”</p><p>Chan nods hesitantly. He knows all too well that human-vampire-relations can sour easily because of the power imbalances and consent issues. Sometimes it’s even due to a misunderstanding between two people who are from two completely different eras, as not all vampires are able to keep up with the rapid development of civilisation.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Chan asks.</p><p>Felix looks at Chan as if the question makes no sense. His scent spikes again, and it becomes so intense that Chan gets a slight burning sensation inside his nostrils.</p><p>“You ask me if I’m okay? How am I supposed to –“ Felix pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. The desk creaks under him as he shifts his legs, clearly uncomfortable. “Do you know why yesterday was so different the from the first time?”</p><p>Chan is relieved that Felix is asking him an actual question. “It could be multiple different factors. Your body could be getting used to the venom. I also bit your wrist instead of your neck, so the blood vessels are smaller and less central. Or perhaps you were in a different mindset this time. The human brain is quite a powerful thing.”</p><p>Felix lets out a tiny ‘oh’ sound, and soon another question is forming on his lips. The actual words die down, but Chan knows it’s about the aftermath of the feeding – how Felix locked himself inside the guest bedroom and refused all aftercare.</p><p>“Are you regretting it now?” Chan asks in a soft voice.</p><p>“Why do you always ask if I’m having regrets. What are you trying to get me to fess up, hyung?”</p><p>The ‘hyung’ is almost an insulting afterthought, a way to get Chan riled up. Chan takes a few steps forward until he’s standing right in front of Felix. He was supposed to be all apologetic.</p><p>He doesn’t feel sorry in the slightest now.</p><p>“You looked cool while practising with Hyunjin. I was watching you two for a while,” Felix blurts out.</p><p>Chan blinks. “Thank you.”</p><p>“But I thought you said you were a civilised vampire,” Felix huffs. His lips are curled in a tense smirk.</p><p>Chan grins as well. “Wouldn’t have lived for this long if I wasn’t able to take care of myself and my clan. I don’t have to enjoy violence.”</p><p>“You looked like you were enjoying it, though.”</p><p>They fall silent. Felix is still oozing a spicy scent. There’s no sour fear mixed in this time.</p><p>“So were you.”</p><p>Chan regrets his words immediately.</p><p>Felix’s face falls. The air between the two could be cut with a dull knife, it’s that saturated with scent molecules and pure nervous energy.</p><p>“We can do this, right? It’s just ten more days.” Felix says slowly. He stands up and takes a step towards the door, but Chan is still standing between him and the exit.</p><p>“Yeah, we probably can,” Chan says, although he has trouble believing himself.  </p><p>“Well that settles it, then.” Felix’s voice is high-pitched and overly cheerful.</p><p>Chan laughs with more air than voice, lowering his eyes to where his gym shirt is crumpled from rolling on the floor. He wraps the hem around his fingers and pulls on the stretchy fabric.</p><p>Felix comes closer, brushes past Chan so that their shoulders touch for a microscopic moment. Felix turns his head, and his soft, warm breath hits Chan’s cheek.</p><p>Chan’s entire universe is consumed by Felix in that moment.</p><p>And then time starts flowing again.</p><p>Chan feels warm human lips brush against his own. It’s so unexpected, so improbable, that Chan doesn’t believe his senses at first. The kiss is desperate and hurried, a hot flash of velvety tongue exploring Chan’s cupid bow, a soft hum of frustration when Felix is denied access. Chan leans into the kiss, closer, nearer to Felix, but he keeps pressing his lips together as he feels the tell-tale ache in his gums. His mouth gets heavy with fangs, sprung to life by the overload of Felix’s spicy arousal.</p><p> A warm hand comes to cup his jaw, pushing down on it until Chan realises to take a step backwards. His shoulder blades hit the edge of the bookshelf full of his beloved vampire fiction. Felix cages his body between his extended arms and the books in a fortuitous mockery of all of those novels. The human turned apex predator. The thought is extremely thrilling to Chan.</p><p>They kiss for a few more moments, gasping and whining against each other’s mouths. Chan gets to explore the curve of Felix’s lips, the way he parts them just enough to allow a tentative lick over his pearly white teeth.   </p><p>Chan pulls his head away to allow Felix to catch his breath.</p><p>“Are you assuming my sexuality now?” he murmurs, using Felix’s earlier words against him.</p><p>Felix laughs, and it’s surprisingly bitter. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”</p><p>Chan stills at that, mere centimetres away from Felix’s face. Completely at the human’s mercy regardless of their enormous power imbalance.</p><p>“I keep lying to everyone because I think it’s easier that way. I thought I could stay detached,” Felix says in a low, low rumble. His lips are glossy with their spit, red and a little swollen from the forceful urgency of the kiss. Chan probably looks just the same.</p><p>“It’s okay not to trust us yet. You don’t have to tell me your life story for me to care about you.”</p><p>The rest of their bodies are not touching, Felix is making sure of that. Chan is still backed against the shelf, and Felix is hovering at a short distance, crowding his personal space but never leaning in close enough. Chan wants to wrap his arms around Felix so badly – the lack of physical contact actually hurts.  </p><p>“Trust,” Felix repeats. “Let me touch your fangs, then. Open your mouth for a moment.”</p><p>Chan tenses up. He doesn’t want to frighten Felix, doesn’t want to add to his already volatile state of mind.</p><p>“Hyung,” Felix commands, and Chan lets his lips part just enough that the tips of his fangs are visible.</p><p>He expects a tentative finger tracing the crown of his tooth, but he is surprised by a pair of lips and a tongue sliding in with ease, feeling the outline of Chan’s teeth, sliding against the roof of his mouth. Chan’s head is about to explode, and his arms shake with the need to grab onto Felix – but he’s allowed <em>this much</em>, so there’s nothing else for him to do except keep his mouth lax and kiss Felix back. It’s so warm and sweet.</p><p>A knock on the door comes at the worst possible moment.</p><p>“Hyung, are you in there? You promised to spar with me next.” It’s Seungmin’s voice.</p><p>Felix stumbles back, cheeks red. He turns his back on Chan. Chan is centuries old, but he kind of wants to do the same childish thing.</p><p>“I’ll meet you at the gym,” Chan shouts, knowing he can’t open the door right now when the two of them are flustered like this. Even if Chan could handle the clan members’ teasing, it wouldn’t be fair to put Felix on the spot.</p><p>“I’ll be back in five minutes. Please don’t run away this time,” Chan pleads quietly. Felix doesn’t turn to face him, but he doesn’t head for the door, either. Chan has to take that as a hesitant yes.</p><p>After Seungmin is gone, Chan runs after him and pairs him up with Minho for training. There is no way Chan can concentrate on fighting, and the others seem to sense it as well.</p><p>It takes seven minutes and thirty seconds to get away from the others, and on his way back to the office Chan is sure to find it empty and in disarray.</p><p>He’s wrong.</p><p>”Is something wrong, Felix?” Chan asks hesitantly, closing the door behind him.</p><p>Everything is <em>wrong</em>, apparently. Felix’s scent is bitter, his posture painfully rigid. He’s staring at something on Chan’s desk – his personal notebook. It was left splayed open on top of a stack of documents, as Chan spent a long time staring at his notes last night.</p><p>“Why’s this here?” Felix asks. His eyes are round and wide, but there is no tangible emotion in them.</p><p>“My notebook? Are you going through my stuff, Felix?” Chan attempts to keep his voice light.</p><p>Felix presses a finger over his notes, hard, dragging over the scribbles as if wanting to erase them. He then raises that same hand to his lips, hiding how the corners of his mouth are rigid and downturned. So different from how they were when Chan kissed them.</p><p>”I don’t – I don’t uh– understand,” Felix says, voice cracking. He takes a wobbly step back and almost knocks over the brass floor lamp just behind him. “I need time to – think.”</p><p>Felix isn’t meeting his eyes at all.</p><p>“What do you not understand?”</p><p>“It doesn’t make sense!” Felix shouts this time. “He never –“</p><p>Felix bolts for the door without a warning. His footsteps recede into nothingness as he runs up the stairs and slams the guest room door shut behind him.</p><p>Chan doesn’t try to stop him, doesn’t go after him.</p><p>Instead, he walks up to his desk to see what Felix was looking at, what could’ve made him so impossibly upset.</p><p>It’s the list he made after the attacks, the first page to be exact.</p><p>Chan’s eyes skim over the list of, occupations, events, names. Some neon yellow marker has smudged under Felix’s thumb.</p><p>Bang Chan, Park Chaeyoung – and that human businessman from Sydney, the one who started it all.</p><p>Lee Sangtae<em>.</em></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Cue a drum roll <span class="small">in tiny.</span> </p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if that’s your thing ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Affiliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Mentions of self-harm and some generally uncomfortable self-loathing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>”It seems that we’ve finally located the target,” Park Chaeyoung declares, a hint of a self-congratulatory smile lighting up her pale features. Her voice is smooth as glass as she speaks.</p><p>Chaeyoung’s office is an explosion of light wood tones and pastels, and she even has a bright light lamp on her desk, imitating sunlight. She traces her pointer finger absent-mindedly along the edge, and the light is so luminous that it glows right through her thin skin, making it seem pinker and more humanlike. She seems very much pleased by the sight.</p><p>”Everything was as you suspected.”</p><p>A reply comes after a moment’s hesitation. ”How is he?”</p><p>”Alive. That is the extent of my intel.”</p><p>”And why is that?”</p><p>Chaeyoung grimaces before speaking. It makes her perfectly even lower teeth become exposed for a moment.</p><p>”As you know, we couldn’t find him during the raid, and all our other efforts to track him beyond the airport failed as well.”</p><p>She inhales slowly to hold a dramatic pause.</p><p>“We now know why. Instead of the main lair, they’ve been keeping him at a VIP club they own. Security there is watertight, so my vampires can’t get in, but a reliable human contact identified him using the picture you provided.”</p><p>”Hmm.”</p><p>”You still haven’t received a ransom letter?” Chaeyoung asks using a careful tone.</p><p>”No. And it won’t come. They clearly want to hold his life over our heads.”</p><p>”God, I always thought there was something suspicious about that leech. Bang Chan is infamous for riding his moral high horses like he has a stick up his ass, and now this. Kidnapping? Makes me want to have him choke on his own fangs.”</p><p>She gets no answer back.</p><p>”What should we do next?” Chaeyoung asks after composing herself.</p><p>”Try to get him out if you can, but only if it doesn’t put his life in jeopardy.”</p><p>”Understood.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>”I bring bad news.”</p><p>The man at the other end waits.</p><p>Chaeyoung clicks her tongue in sympathy. ”The boy has become a blood slave for them.”</p><p>”What?” The voice becomes sharp – almost emotional but not quite.</p><p>”We do not know the extent of the abuse, but he had visible marks.”</p><p>”Why haven’t you been able to recover him?”</p><p>”The Bangs keep him on a tight leash. They seem to have grown fond of his taste.”</p><p>“Do not speak of him with such vulgarity.” The voice has become low, much lower than ever before.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Chaeyoung says coolly.</p><p>”Save your apologies. Just bring my son back home.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>It’s the day after Felix’s twentieth birthday when it finally happens. Knowing in advance that the day was coming doesn’t make it any easier.</p><p>Felix’s father steps into his room without knocking, like he always does, like there’s nothing abnormal about that specific Wednesday.</p><p>”What are you doing?” he asks with a barely noticeable frown.</p><p>Felix presses the lid of his laptop shut with quick fingers. ”Studying.”</p><p>”Hmm.”</p><p>Felix remembers too late that he is wearing a pair of dangly earrings and some lip tint stolen from his sister. He toys with the hem of his Gucci hoodie, wondering whether he will notice or not.</p><p>Surprisingly, no off-hand comment critiquing his appearance follows. His father has more important things on his mind.</p><p>“We’ve decided to send you abroad for a while, to learn the ways of our trade. You’ll start training with a mentor soon, perhaps next spring.”</p><p>‘We’ is singular in this context, Felix knows. His mother has hardly any leverage over the man she’s married to.</p><p>“Her name is Rosie Park. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time with her and learn many useful things.”</p><p>Felix grits his teeth, but a snarky comment slips through at the last second. “Normal people go to college, I think.”</p><p>His father scoffs, but his face doesn’t show any change in emotion. The silent implication of Felix’s lack of normalcy doesn’t go over his head. Felix flicks his gaze down to his fingers. They’re starting to tremble.</p><p>“Aren’t you happy to officially become a part of the family business? Everything I’ve built will be yours soon enough.”</p><p>Lying is easy. It makes life more bearable.</p><p>Felix nods and smiles, but he’s pressing his shaking fingers into a fist so tight his palms might bruise.</p><p>He knows he has to get away.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>It takes Felix several months to save enough money for a plane ticket. He manages to put aside little sums from his allowance, but he has to mask every withdrawal to look like he’s just spending more on clothes and food. He leaves the house during the day and wanders through malls, coming home with a few cheap things and a wad of cash to hide away. His father asks about his spending once, but the tone is approving. Like he’s proud of Felix for the first time in his life.</p><p>One day he almost gets caught with an online banking tab open on his laptop. It’s a new account his parents have no access to.</p><p>His father appears behind him like a mute ghost, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. Felix has just enough time to click away to the next tab, a chat window where he was talking to Jisung about a cute idol they both like. It’s not much better, but his father seems disinterested by the contents on his screen.</p><p>Sometimes Felix thinks that he is the least observant rich person to ever exist. After all, it took the man almost two decades to notice that his son perhaps wasn’t completely straight. The man couldn’t keep living in denial after he surprised Felix making out with an older boy at the backseat of one of his own cars.</p><p>“The date for your departure has been set,” his father says, jostling Felix out of his bitter recollections.</p><p>“When is it?”</p><p>“In two weeks.”</p><p>“Alright then,” Felix chirps, casually scrolling down the front page of YouTube.</p><p>His father doesn’t leave.</p><p>“Son,” he says. It’s oddly quiet.</p><p>Felix doesn’t look over his shoulder, but he puts his hands down to show that he’s listening. A preview of a meme compilation starts playing on loop, because Felix accidentally left the mouse hovering over the thumbnail.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” his father says in Korean. He rarely speaks it, and almost never to Felix.</p><p>Felix holds his breath.</p><p>“Father is sorry for making you part ways with – that person.”</p><p><em>That person</em>.</p><p>The worst thing about the apology is that Felix knows it to be sincere, or at least as genuine as a man like his father is capable of. Lee Sangtae bows before no man.</p><p>“You’re sorry, but you would do it all over again, wouldn’t you?” Felix asks.</p><p>“Yes, I believe I would.”</p><p>Felix bites down on his lower lip, trying to dull the sting of the words with physical pain.</p><p><em>You would look too weak with a man by your side. You like girls too, don’t you Felix?</em> His father had said it with a wistful smile on his face after confiscating Felix’s phone and laptop for an undetermined amount of time.</p><p>Another thing that just hurts, is that none of it has anything to do with religion, with homophobia, with his father’s personal values even. It’s the fact that Felix is the only son, an heir to a business empire he knows very little of because his mother wanted him to have a normal youth. His mother’s wishes manifested in the wickedest of ways, keeping him on a weird pedestal he didn’t want and with his future looming over his head like a guillotine.</p><p>Maybe it would be easier if his father was a religious fanatic who expected the same level of heteronormativity in every aspect of his life. Making Felix the single exception only feels cruel.</p><p>”I have a meeting with a very special client tomorrow night. He’s flown in from Korea just for this. I could tell you a little about the deal after I get home.”</p><p>Felix knows it’s a peace offering, a supposed reward.</p><p>A final pat on his shoulder makes him flinch, and then the man is gone.</p><p>Felix waits two minutes before going to his closet where he has a backpack hidden under a pile of sweatshirts. There’s a cheap phone with no sim card, a printed itinerary, and a one-way ticket to Seoul tucked away in the laptop compartment.</p><p>Everything is still there. Felix sags in relief.</p><p>One more day, he thinks, allowing himself to become hopeful for the first time since presenting his crazy plan to Jisung.</p><p>That night he packs his suitcase, leaving most of his belongings behind. Like a snake shedding its skin, Felix rids himself of his own identity. The platinum and silver of his earrings is replaced with costume jewellery, and his clothes are cheap and unremarkable just like his worth as a human being.</p><p>He barely eats and sleeps for the remaining of his long, long wait.</p><p>He leaves for the airport when no one is home to witness his departure.</p><p>Felix doesn’t leave a note.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>In the present Felix is curled up into a tiny ball of misery. The comforter under him is soft. He’s staring at the wall, which is white. His lips burn hot.</p><p>Chan still hasn’t come.</p><p>The house is dead-silent, like it’s been abandoned. Perhaps Chan has asked everyone to walk on their tiptoes to give Felix <em>time to think</em>. The possibility angers him somehow. It would feel justified if Chan kicked the door in and shook Felix for answers he didn’t have. This, however, is smothering him in cotton.</p><p>Felix briefly thinks about throwing up the remnants of his late lunch, he even thinks about digging his fingernails into skin and dragging until he bleeds. He doesn’t do it, but not because he doesn’t want to. He’s worried that the vampires might smell his blood even through the closed door.</p><p>Around midnight Changbin knocks on his door.</p><p>The vampire’s voice is artificially stable, soft, rounded at the edges. “Would you like some tteokbokki? Medium spicy? I can bring you some from the 24-hour diner down the street. According to Jeongin, the auntie there makes the best rice cakes in Seoul.”</p><p>Felix swallows painfully. He remembers briefly mentioning his favourite food on his first day at the house. Changbin still remembers.</p><p>“No thank you,” Felix croaks. “I’m not hungry.”</p><p>Maybe Changbin will enter now, smack him at the back of his head for his stubbornness. Felix would very much appreciate that.</p><p>“I will –“ Changbin says, voice unsure, “– I will leave you something in the fridge. Please help yourself when you regain your appetite.”</p><p>“Yeah, s– sounds good,” Felix lies.</p><p>Felix rocks himself back and forth on the bed, humming quietly to himself.</p><p>“Lixie,” Changbin calls out again. It’s a new nickname. Felix doesn’t hate it.</p><p>“Mm hyung?”</p><p>“Please, whatever you do, just don’t hurt yourself. I know you’re contemplating it.”</p><p>How does he know?</p><p>“I will tell on you if you do,” Changbin threatens weakly.</p><p>Felix glances down and sees that his fingers are clenched bone-white, pressing down on his shins. When he forces himself to release the grip, he sees a row of deep red marks. Fresh blood is pooling right under his skin, not quite bursting through. He runs his finger over the dents. They’re tender and sore, and the tiny sparks of pain feel almost pleasant. Welcome.</p><p>“There's a good boy,” Changbin says, relief evident in his voice even through the wooden door. Felix's ears burn hot at the words.</p><p>Changbin leaves as silently as he came.  </p><p>Another hour passes without disruptions. Felix forgoes battering himself with bruises, but he can punish himself by not eating. It’s a fucked up thing to do, of course, but Felix isn’t in the right mindset to stop himself.</p><p>He’s drowning in guilt even though he doesn’t know what he should feel guilty for. But if one thing is for certain, it’s that whenever his father is involved, everything will have to go his way. The man wouldn’t even shy away from using violence if he had enough incentive.</p><p>Felix has seen him come home bloody – though only once. It was a late evening, and his father thought everyone to be sleeping. Felix was in the downstairs bathroom when he walked past, a spot of blindingly bright red on his dress shirt sleeve. His father said nothing, only rolled his sleeve up so that the blood disappeared from sight.</p><p>Felix should run again. Him being there could put Chan and the others in danger.</p><p>He takes his phone out of his pocket. Jisung should be having his night off, so he calls. The phone only rings twice.</p><p>“Bokie?” his friend answers, tone questioning.</p><p>“Hey,” Felix whispers into the phone.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“Something happened. I think I’ll have to come back home early.”</p><p>“What? Did the bastard do something?” Jisung demands. Felix can hear a rustling sound at the other end of the line. Perhaps Jisung is making sure that he is wearing proper trousers for a fight against evil vampires.</p><p>“No, Chan did nothing. The reason why I must leave has nothing to do with him,” Felix explains, noticing his slip-up way too late.</p><p>“Wait, did you just say Chan?”</p><p>“I misspoke,” Felix tries. He’s standing already, rummaging through his things and checking that he isn’t leaving anything behind.</p><p>“Out of all the vampires in the world, your feeding contract was with Bang Chan? The richest vampire in Seoul?”</p><p>Felix hums, irritated at himself. He slings his backpack over one shoulder and covers his blond hair with a black baseball cap.</p><p>“Have you met all of the clan members?” Jisung asks out of the blue.</p><p>“Why are you asking that? Of course I have, I practically live here,” Felix sneers.</p><p>He doesn’t hang up even while going down the stairs. He knows there’s no way he could ever sneak out unnoticed, and it would only be humiliating to get caught trying.</p><p>“I – I’ll get a taxi or something. Let’s talk when I get there,” Felix says.</p><p>“But, Felix –“ Jisung starts, but Felix can’t hear the rest as he nearly drops the phone. Chan is standing right next to the door, eyes dark and shoulders hunched. He looks defeated.</p><p>Felix hangs up the call with a jab of his thumb, descending the last few stairs with an unsteady gait.  </p><p>Chan looks up then, and Felix cannot find any kind of recognisable emotion on his pale face.</p><p>“I see that you’re leaving,” he says. The words land between them like wet rags. Heavy and uncomfortable.  </p><p>“I need to end the contract early.”</p><p>“You have the right to do that,” Chan says slowly, neutrally, like he's roleplaying as fucking Switzerland.</p><p>Felix presses his lips into a thin line, trying to control himself. “I think I’m wearing one of your t-shirts. Changbin hyung gave it to me after I spilled juice all over myself.”</p><p>“You can have it.”</p><p>React in some way, do something, Felix pleads in his head.</p><p>Chan only stares, blankly. His beautiful lips are slightly parted.</p><p>Felix forces himself to look down at his phone. He orders a taxi with an app. The closest one is only minutes away.</p><p>“Felix,” Chan says to make him look up. The vampire’s voice is heavy and guttural. “You don’t have to tell me anything else, but I need to know this – is your life in danger right now?”</p><p>At least he can answer that truthfully. “No, but I can’t stay here anymore. It’s better for all of you.”</p><p>“I don’t appreciate you making decisions in my stead.” Chan still doesn’t raise his voice, but his eyes narrow. The familiar tension is building up between them. Felix needs to use it to his advantage.</p><p>“Goodbye, Chan,” he says with an edge of hostility, omitting any honorifics.</p><p>Felix walks past him and opens the door. He flinches as the crisp night air hits his face.</p><p>“I don’t feel comfortable letting you go alone. If you don’t wish to see my face, at least take Changbin with you.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Felix raises his chin and steps out to the windy night. The moon is full and sickly yellow. He hears Chan taking a desperate step forward, perhaps to drag Felix back inside by force. He could do that so easily, throw him over his shoulder and lock up in the bedroom like a disobedient child. Felix half expects Chan’s cold hands to grab him.</p><p>He turns his head to see Chan standing right behind him, very much not touching.</p><p>It makes his blood boil. He’s so angry – angry at Chan for caring, angry at the world that is just too small to get away from his family. He’s angry at himself for kissing Chan and making it unnecessarily complicated.</p><p>“Don’t you dare try to follow me,” Felix shouts. “We have no relationship, we’re not friends. We don’t even have that stupid contract to bind us anymore!”</p><p>Chan is visibly startled by the sudden increase in volume. A small sound, not quite a full word but a primal kind of noise, escapes his open mouth.</p><p>It’s good if Chan is getting upset now. If Felix screams and is unreasonable and obnoxious, Chan won’t try to come find him. He won’t ever have to know what kind of person Felix is.</p><p>Felix sees the headlights of a taxi at the end of the street, so he heads out of the gate without sparing another glance in Chan’s direction. Mostly because he thinks he’s going to ugly cry if he allows himself the tiniest peek.</p><p>He gets into the car and sends a quick text message to Jisung. After that’s it’s just the dull flow of streetlights, the occasional flash of neon from an advertisement, the sound that the car radio makes as the driver fiddles between three channels that all play the exact same type of ballads.</p><p>Or it would.</p><p>Four or five blocks away from Chan’s house, two black vans appear from thin air. The block the taxi from moving in any direction.</p><p>The door on Felix’s side opens before he has time to process any of it. Cold air bursts in, and Felix is hauled up like a sack of potatoes. He’s escorted to the larger van in the tight grip of a hooded figure. Everything is smooth and efficient, like an over-scripted scene from a B-grade spy film. Felix laughs, and his captors look at him as if he’s gone insane.</p><p>The only thing on Felix’s mind is that he’s glad it was him and not Chan.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>It takes Jisung one hour of frantic texting and calling and being directed to voice mail to fully come to realise that Felix isn’t coming home.</p><p>The two possibilities he comes up with are a) Bang Chan, a vampire famous for his mild temper and peculiar feeding habits has finally snapped and killed his human in cold blood, or b) Felix is lying in a gutter somewhere, hurt or possibly dead. Both options sound horrifying and unlikely.</p><p>Jisung knows what he has to do.</p><p>He’s not fond of vampires, but there’s no doubting that they are exceptionally good at finding people. A famous clan such as the Bangs have almost unlimited resources on top of their supernatural abilities.</p><p>And if option A proves to be true against all odds, Jisung can at least punch the vampire in the face before succumbing to the same fate. As his best friend and soulmate, Felix deserves that much.</p><p>Jisung wraps himself in warm clothing and calls a taxi. The driver eyes him up and down, his mismatched attire and unwashed hair and the bags under his eyes, but eventually takes his directions.</p><p>Jisung has never gone to the clan lair personally, but he knows where it is. The large building with a well-kept yard is every bit as impressive as Jisung imagined. The taxi pulls over close to the gate, and Jisung pays the driver with almost half of his weekly savings.</p><p>The gate isn’t locked, which feels like a bad omen to him. Vampires welcoming visitors with open arms. The front yard is eerily quiet, too, the noise from the night-time traffic muffled by some thick junipers.     </p><p>He hesitates at the door. Even during their relationship Jisung didn’t have the courage to show his face at the lair. It was easier to meet at the club or at some stuffy coffee place. Sometimes they even met at love hotels.</p><p>Jisung shivers, and then he hardens his heart.</p><p>The door opens at a supernatural speed. The vampire behind the door is easy to recognise, even though Jisung has personally seen him only once or twice. His face is handsome but tense, and his clothes are as crumpled as Jisung’s own.</p><p>Jisung bows almost ninety degrees, just to be sure.</p><p>The vampire openly glares at him, unappreciative of his gesture.</p><p>“Who the hell are you?” he snarls. There is a layer of poorly masked disappointment to his voice.</p><p>“Hello, I am – I was Lee Minho’s hh–human.”</p><p>The vampire raises his eyebrows, but some of the anger disappears from his face.</p><p>Jisung swallows thickly before continuing. “Is hyung home?”</p><p>“Now is not a good time for a visit, I’m afraid.”</p><p>Jisung feels so incredibly small under the gaze which is like a raging typhoon over the sea. He senses that he’s about to be the messenger who gets shot for delivering unwanted news.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but it is really important. My roommate didn’t come home tonight, and I’m worried something has happened to him. I know Minho hyung is really good at finding people.”</p><p>“What roommate?” he asks sharply. Jisung can almost hear rusty cogs turning inside the vampire’s brain, trying to make connections.</p><p>Jisung can see the figures of other vampires gathering behind Bang Chan, curious about the surprise visitor. Much to his relief, Jisung immediately recognises Minho’s reddish brown hair and the way his ex-boyfriend tends to put more weight on his left foot as he stands idly. It’s slightly pathetic that he’s still so sure of the fact that Minho wouldn’t let the others hurt him no matter what, but seeing him for the first time in months still gives him the strength and courage to face the impossibly demanding eyes of the clan leader.</p><p>This is the vampire who’s been getting puffy-cheeked on a steady diet of his best friend’s blood. And now Jisung is crawling to him for help.</p><p>There’s no turning back now.</p><p>“You happen to know him personally. His name is Lee Felix.”</p><p>Right before his eyes the vampire’s expression shifts, rapidly, and for a second Jisung thinks his days are numbered. He has never seen anyone look that – <em>feral</em>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have an inkling that Chan and co. might get pissed off at the turn of events, but maybe that’s just me.</p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you’d like to be pals!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Value</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Blood, violence, injury, and a hint of implied non-con, but you need to squint to find it.</p><p>Everyone acts like a crazy person for the sake of the plot. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> [mood board #2]</p><p> </p><p>There have been a grand total of three instances like this during Chan’s long life. Moments when a rage so blinding consumes him that he thinks he could throw away everything he has built for himself, his life along humans. He only wants to hurt, claw, and drink completely unprovoked – on the off chance it could make the gnawing pain inside him lessen in some capacity.</p><p>The first instance was when he witnessed his mother die and could do nothing. The next was when his first human companion left him. The third one was on the day Hyunjin died, and Chan almost wasn’t able to bring him back. </p><p>And now, the fourth time.</p><p>Chan is ready the snap the neck of an innocent human for the grave offence of standing in front of him. Chan feels hands snake around his waist, and another palm coming to press down over his mouth. It’s only then that he catches himself growling low in his throat.</p><p>Minho’s human smells like dark chocolate and panic, and there are tears forming in his eyes like crystals.</p><p>“Fuck,” Changbin grunts into his ear – the hands holding him are his. “Minho, stop standing there like a garden gnome and come here. And Chan hyung, stop growling at the human, without him we wouldn’t even know of Felix’s situation.”</p><p>Changbin’s voice is overly rational, like he’s overcompensating to not succumb to the same state of distress as Chan. But his voice cracks as he says Felix’s name, and the pure emotion behind it makes Chan come back to his senses, at least a little bit. Chan turns his head slightly and sees that Seungmin is the one gagging him, face stern and teeth bared in concentration. Chan slumps against Changbin’s chest and signals to the two that it’s safe to release him.</p><p>”So, you’re Minho’s human. You’re Han Jisung,” he says as soon as Seungmin’s hand leaves his lips, finally taking a good look at the young man. He’s dressed in an oversized jumper, a brown, unbuttoned coat and some bright red trackpants. His hair is an unbrushed mess and his cheeks are drained of colour – but despite all that, he’s very attractive, probably someone who smiles and jokes around a lot just like Minho.  </p><p>Jisung looks flustered by the fact that Chan knows his name, but he’s not looking at Chan. Minho has stepped forward, and he’s holding out a tentative hand in Jisung’s direction – and Jisung is staring at the offering like it’s an alien object.</p><p>”Please come in,” Chan encourages. He won’t apologise now; he doesn’t have the time nor energy. He just needs to <em>know</em>.  </p><p>Jisung eventually takes Minho’s hand and lets himself be guided in. The rest of the clan form a tight circle around them, and Minho wraps a protective arms around his human’s shoulders. Jisung tenses up but doesn’t shake the arm off.   </p><p>Similarly, Changbin is still glued to Chan’s side, like his friend just knows how on edge he is, how ready to snap and raise hell.</p><p>”Jisung, do you have any idea about what could’ve happened?” Changbin asks gently, even though the look on his face is extremely pained. “Did Felix say anything?”</p><p>Jisung is still standing close to Minho in the vampire’s loose embrace. He starts fiddling with the large tortoise shell button at the collar of his coat.</p><p>”Felix called me earlier, he said something bad happened and that he could no longer stay here. He said it was something about him and not –” Jisung clears his throat and his eyes flicker around in evasion, to Minho, to the other vampires, even to the large portrait of a famous poet on the wall.  </p><p>Chan knows there’s no reason to lie. “Felix saw a list of names in my notebook and got terribly upset. He stormed off right after that, and because I didn’t see that he would get home safely, he –“ Chan has to abort his sentence as well, as the edges of his vision blur into blood red anger again. He clenches his fists, imagining the sweet moment when they collide with Park Chaeyoung’s face. He’s going to tear her limbs off, one by one and make her wriggle on the floor like a dying fish – and then he’ll move onto her little minions and make her watch as he – –</p><p>Changbin coughs loudly, sensing that Chan is spiralling fast. Chan forces himself to swallow the saliva pooling under his tongue, taking away the edge of aggression with it.</p><p>“I think it’s very worrying that Felix goes missing as soon as he’s out alone without the clan members. It means that it’s an orchestrated kidnap, that they were targeting him specifically,” Hyunjin interjects. His eyes burn like blue flames.</p><p>Silence falls in the circle.</p><p>Chan realises that their eyes are on him, their clan leader, who has no answers, no solutions. No Felix.</p><p>“Maybe Jisung could take a look at your notes as well. See if he recognises someone,” Changbin suggests in a small, hoarse voice.</p><p>”To be honest, Felix never told me anything about his life in Sydney. We used to chat a lot online, but it was always about our mutual interests, our plans for the future. Nothing about his family or background.”</p><p>Chan thinks about Felix and his constant lies, or rather, the way he has carefully presented himself as a struggling young man, one of the many unremarkable people led astray in their youth. It’s quite understandable that Felix didn’t open up to Chan, he’s not worthy of the man’s trust. But the fact that even his close friend is oblivious to everything he carries on his back – Chan feels sad that Felix has had to live like that.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix recognises Kim Jisoo as soon as she removes her face mask in the car. She’s smiling at Felix, and it’s a triumphant, all-knowing smile that makes him shiver violently. Felix doesn’t feel like talking, and after his maniacal burst of laughter, his captors seem to treat him like he’s a ticking time bomb. The others don’t bother unmasking themselves.</p><p>Felix sees no point in trying to run as the car door flies open. The vampires have confiscated his back pack and jacket, it’s still the middle of the night. There won’t be anyone passing by at a time like this.</p><p>He’s escorted swiftly to a large mansion sitting on top of a small hill. The neighbourhood is similar to Chan’s with large houses and even larger yards, a luxury reserved only for the super-rich in a densely packed city such as Seoul.</p><p>They step inside a grandiose lobby area bathing in warm, electrical glow, and Felix has to blink rapidly to adjust to the change. It’s almost as bright as during the day.</p><p>“Welcome to the Park clan residence,” Jisoo chirps behind him and puts a guiding hand behind his shoulder blades. She opens a glass sliding door and ushers him inside a large office space.</p><p>A slender woman with long, lavender-tinted hair stands behind a desk, talking to two other women. One of them has short hair and plush lips, and the other curious blonde stripes framing her round face. Jisoo lets go of Felix’s elbow and gives his arm a light pat. Felix shudders thinking that her well-manicured nails have been lodged deep in Minho’s chest not long ago. </p><p>The one with the bleached hair flicks her chin up and the other two scurry off, joining Jisoo in the next room. The sliding door is closed behind them without a word. It’s a clear exhibition of authority, and it makes Felix’s knees buckle a bit.   </p><p>”Hello there, Felix. It’s lovely to finally meet you!” Felix is surprised by the English. She has a heavy Australian accent. The woman has to be a vampire, her eyes gleam with an undertone of ruby red in them, but her makeup is as flawless as Jisoo’s. She looks like a doll as she tilts her head to the side, studying Felix’s frozen form. </p><p>The vampire keeps smiling at Felix’s silence, as if she’s not bothered by it one bit.</p><p>”My name is Chaeyoung, but I much prefer to be called Rosie.”</p><p>It takes Felix by surprise, and an audible gasp escapes his lips. ”You’re Rosie Park?”</p><p>Rosie simply nods as she sits down on her impractically white office chair. She starts rotating it side to side while still having her eyes on Felix. The tiny movements seem like a nervous habit, even though her face is calm and collected. The contradiction makes Felix’s skin crawl.</p><p>There’s a blindingly bright table lamp and a glass bowl full of red, sugar-coated sweets on her desk. Rosie pushes the bowl in Felix’s direction with the well-manicured tip of her fingernail.</p><p>”Have a strawberry sweet. I had those bought <em>just</em> for you,” Rosie offers with a syrupy smile.</p><p>”I’d rather not,” Felix curtly says.</p><p>Rosie’s smile only widens. ”Sit down, then.”</p><p>There’s no ’please’, Felix takes note.</p><p>Felix glances at the plush pastel pink couch to his right, shuddering. And to think that he had once critiqued Chan’s bland taste in furniture.</p><p>”I’m good standing, thanks.”</p><p>”Is everything alright, baby? Do you need anything?” Rosie asks, showing the faintest trace of worry on her perfect features. She dips her fingers into the bowl of sweets and scrapes some sugar off one. She brings the coated digit to her mouth and suckles on it. She releases her finger with a wet pop and a hum.</p><p><em>It’s always strawberry with these vampires</em>.</p><p>“Cat got your tongue, sweet thing?”</p><p>Felix’s curiosity finally takes the best of him, partly because he’s disgusted by Rosie’s obscene demonstration and need something else to think about. ”How can the mentor I was supposed to learn from be a vampire? Why does my f– why does Lee Sangtae know a vampire?”</p><p>Rosie looks at him for a prolonged second, blinking. The expression on her face is rather curious.</p><p>”You – you actually have no idea, do you baby?”</p><p>Felix wants to tell her to stop calling him baby, but suddenly he has trouble breathing, he almost expects his father to jump out of the shadows, face contorted in anger.</p><p>”Tell me baby, what does your daddy do for work?”</p><p>Felix feels nauseous, like the little boy cowering in front of his father’s stern eyes all over again. It’s crystal clear to him now that his father has always controlled Felix not by crude violence, but by keeping information from him. Felix doesn’t really  want to answer the question because he’s obviously set up for failure.</p><p>”I think your daddy called you overly talkative when he described you to me. He said I should teach you to be smarter about how you run your mouth. But you are a dazed little thing tonight, aren’t you?”</p><p>Felix spreads his feet shoulder-width apart to compensate for the sudden lack of muscle strength in his legs. Rosie is staring him down like she sees straight into his soul, like Felix is easy, predictable. He needs to latch onto that to survive.</p><p>Felix draws in a shaky breath before talking. ”My fath– he is a realtor. He uhh – he also owns a lot of property and rents it to people and stuff –” Felix’s lets his voice die down as he sees the changing expression on Rosie’s symmetrical face. She starts laughing. It sounds like someone is clicking half-full wine glasses against each other, musical but not very pleasant to hear.</p><p>”Oh Felix baby, you are so adorable. You think that golden spoon appeared in your mouth because daddy is a landlord to a few people. Oh my Gosh that’s so cute.”</p><p>Her laughter keeps filling the air in short, melodic bursts. Felix fights the urge to touch his mouth. He feels like he’s actually about to choke on something cold and metallic lodged between his teeth.</p><p>”Allow me to explain,” Rosie smiles in a vaguely motherly manner, ”the likes of Lee Sangtae take care of the specific needs of vampire clients. Our personal wealth is often vast, having lived for multiple centuries. It’s difficult to navigate human bureaucracy, which is quick to change and unsuited for persons with – abnormal lifespans. People like him invest our money in a smart way and take a teeny tiny cut to themselves for their hard work. They make sure there aren’t too many breadcrumb trails leading to a singular owner.”</p><p>”Is it some kind of vampire mafia?” Felix asks before catching himself. He’s reminded of the blood on his father’s sleeve, how acutely red it had been.</p><p>”Mafia is such a silly word. We don’t go around coercing people for protection money. I would prefer the term diversification of investments instead. Sure, we need to rough up some nosy white collars from time to time, but I don’t think anyone really is concerned about the well-being of lowly tax collectors and government officials.”</p><p>Felix knows his jaw is hanging open, but he can’t bring himself to close his mouth. This was the business he was supposed to inherit? Laundering old money for vampires to get tax reliefs?</p><p>”You should have some sweets, you look rather pale, Lixie.”</p><p>”Don’t call me that,” Felix says, raising his voice, but Rosie only keeps smiling. Changbin’s gentle words play on loop in his head. Lixie. Ttalgi. Good boy. They’re <em>his</em> words, not hers to use so carelessly.</p><p>The image of Chan pops up next, uninvited. Him breathing Felix’s name deep into his ear after the kiss they shared. No one has ever said his name like that, with so much care, like the simple syllables hold immense weight and value.</p><p>Even though it’s selfish, Felix regrets leaving, regrets that he’s now burdened with the knowledge of his father’s sins, which are becoming his own by the connection of blood.</p><p>”Am I a prisoner? Have you kidnapped me?” he asks then, feeling exhausted and defeated.</p><p>Chaeyoung laughs again, and this time it’s high-pitched but thick like honey, highly amused. ”Kidnapped? Ahh, we apologise for the dramatic pickup. We had planned it for days. It was actually quite surprising to see they weren’t escorting you properly after keeping you on such a tight leash for days.”</p><p>”I can leave then?”</p><p>Rosie waves her hand in an impatient way, as if to disregard his words as silly nonsense. ”Would you like to talk to your daddy on the phone? Tell him you’re okay?”</p><p>Felix refuses the offer with a firm shake of his head, which sparks new interest in Rosie’s eyes. It’s not worry or fear, but she seems perplexed.</p><p>”How often did they bite you, Felix?” Rosie asks. Her voice sounds like she’s trying to lower it in order to appear more sympathetic. It has the opposite effect on Felix.</p><p>”What does that have to do with anything?”</p><p>”Jisoo unnie,” Rosie shouts in Korean instead of answering Felix’s question. The sound pierces the air so suddenly that it makes Felix flinch. Jisoo appears in a split second, politely nodding her head.</p><p>”Take a good look at Felix here,” Rosie instructs.</p><p>Jisoo closes their distance with her heels clacking against the floor like horse’s hooves, and Felix wonders briefly how anyone can stay upright in shoes like hers, vampire or human. Jisoo flashes Felix an unnerving smile before grabbing his chin in a tight pincher grip. Her sharp nails scrape against the underside of his jaw, sending little pricks of pain down his neck.  </p><p>”How are his eyes? How many doses has he had today?”</p><p>What doses? What is she even talking about? Felix tries to break free of the grip, but Jisoo’s fingers are a vice despite their small size.</p><p>”I can’t really say. His eyes look clear. We need to check his skin for marks.”</p><p>”What are you talking about? Let me go!” Felix huffs. Mild panic is starting to swell inside him at the harsh treatment. Jisoo is pressing her thumb down just below Felix’s lower lip. Talking is getting harder with the pressure against his jaw.</p><p>”Felix, baby. Calm down. It’s okay if you don’t remember. The Bangs must’ve pumped you full of venom to make you so confused, but we’ll help you clear your head.”</p><p>Felix brings his hands up to grasp Jisoo’s, but he can’t pry her off. ”What the hell? I willingly donated my blood, and it was only twice –”</p><p>Rosie talks over him without mercy. ”Jisoo, do you think they have given him other drugs, too? Something to make him hallucinate just enough that he didn’t resist when Channie boy took him out of the country. If they weren’t worried, he would escape while being transported between the house and the club, they must have a very good hold of him by now.”</p><p>”I’ll order some blood tests for him. Maybe a full physical too, he might be having a bad iron deficiency if all of them had a turn with him,” Jisoo says.</p><p>Felix can’t believe that they’re speaking as if he’s not even there. </p><p>”I wish to leave now,” he tries for the last time, voice stern, steady. For a fraction of a second, he hears his own father in the words, in the low booming tone. </p><p>Both vampires look up, bewildered that Felix could even produce such a sound.</p><p>Maybe they’ll believe him now.</p><p>Maybe he can just go home.</p><p>Rosie’s mouth spreads into a sad smile, and she nods at Jisoo. Felix is dragged out of the office and taken into a small room without windows, ’for his own safety’. The door is locked behind him.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Chan slumps down to sit on the stairs. Changbin hovers over him, eyes narrowed. Minho is looking for the taxi driver, and Seungmin and Hyunjin are sweeping the nearby areas for any clues. Chan is grounded because he’s still prone to murder anyone for breathing in his general direction, and Changbin is pulling double duty babysitting him and communicating with the others.</p><p>It leaves Chan feeling like the biggest failure in history. </p><p>“Thank you for preventing me from murdering an innocent human tonight,” he mutters, “my fangs still hurt so fucking bad, I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Changbin chuckles humourlessly. “You can punch me in the face, if that helps.”</p><p>Chan buries his face in his hands. The ache in his chest is a constant at this point, spreading steadily all over his body like lethal poison. “I don’t – I just don’t see the connection. Why Felix?”</p><p>“He knew something, didn’t he? That’s why he tried to run,” Changbin ponders quietly.</p><p>“I should’ve locked him up and thrown away the key,” Chan says, regret heavy in his voice. “I almost grabbed him as he was leaving. I almost –“ He chokes on his own words after that, and the incoherent babble turns into a growl.</p><p>Chan is clawing at the stair under his fingers, surely leaving scuff marks into the polished surface, but he couldn’t care less about his property. </p><p>”Chan hyung. Channie. Listen to me for crying out loud, I don’t want to slap you again.”</p><p>The deep growls in his chest diminish into aborted little noises of distress at the back of his throat, and before long he’s sobbing without tears, hands reaching for Changbin’s strong waist as if he’s a new-born vampire all over again, desperate for the comfort of his maker.</p><p>Changbin hugs him, tight, pulling him closer with a hand at the back of his head, against his firm body.</p><p>”Ch-Changgg-b–” he tries to say, but it too gets stuck in his throat like a disgusting blood clot.</p><p>”If there’s one hair out of place on his head, I swear I’ll –” he groans into the fabric of Changbin’s soft hoodie, and the other vampire hushes him. Pets his hair.</p><p>“I need to k–kill them.”</p><p>Changbin hums in agreement that they all deserve to die, painfully. ”I know. But the Parks have three times the numbers we do. If you barge in there on a suicide mission, I doubt Felix would appreciate that very much.”</p><p>“I could still try,” Chan breathes out. He could still wreak havoc and make them pay, make them bleed out of every orifice and suffocate on their own blood.</p><p>Changbin’s hands cup the back of his head, comb through the fine hairs at his nape. “If you did, we would follow you there and die with you. That’s how clans work.”</p><p>”I hate you so much, I hate you Binnie.”</p><p>He growls again, it’s wounded and desperate. Changbin joins it with his own deep rumble of sorrow.</p><p>”I love you too, hyung.”</p><p>They stay like that, still, as only vampires are able to, until the door reopens, and three dishevelled vampires stroll in. None of them look happy. Chan clears his throat and pulls away from Changbin’s embrace.</p><p>”I found the taxi driver,” Minho announces without delay. He truly is their best tracker. It would’ve taken anyone else hours and hours to pinpoint a single vehicle in a city of nearly ten million people.</p><p>Jisung, whose existence was almost forgotten by Chan, peeks his head from the kitchen, a glass of orange juice in his hand.</p><p>”I take it’s not great news,” Chan says stiffly.</p><p>Jisung shuffles across the floor toward his vampire, but as Minho slowly shakes his head, the glass he’s holding slips and shatters on the floor with a deafening crash. Minho nearly runs to him, uncaring of the mess of glass and liquid on the floor, and unceremoniously lifts Jisung into his arms. He carries the human all the way to the other side of the room where the dangers of wet glass are no longer present. The sight makes irrational envy wrench Chan’s gut. Jisung has started crying in silent sobs.</p><p>”The driver was threatened so that he wouldn’t go to the police to report what he saw. It was some kind of van that took Felix, just outside the border of our home territory,” Hyunjin explains as Minho is busy reassuring his human.</p><p>That had to be some kind of sick courtesy from the Parks. Chan notices he’s growling again, thinking what he could afford to smash against the wall. Perhaps his own thick skull for starters.</p><p>Minho clears his throat, and Chan has to focus his attention on him again. ”With all due respect, would you please stop scaring <em>my human</em>.”</p><p>Jisung jerks violently in Minho’s embrace, and a tiny mewl of disagreement escapes his lips. The human is blushing, the tips of his ears glowing.</p><p>”With all due respect,” Chan replies in an ice-cold voice, ”you didn’t just lose your own human to your biggest rival.”</p><p>Chan wants to swallow his tongue, but no one bothers to correct  his glaring mistake. Felix isn’t his human by any standards. Minho still might hold some claim to Jisung, knowing the two parted ways while still madly in love, but Chan has claimed nothing but a single kiss from Felix, and even that was under the dubious circumstances of their contract relationship.</p><p>His brain though, or at least the primitive beast roaming inside, hums with joy, repeating, <em>mine, mine, mine</em>. <em>My clan, my kin</em>.</p><p>Human companions can be considered clan members, but these days it’s extremely rare to entangle a human life so deeply into the vampire world. To make them part of their complex and hierarchical social system. Felix would never want that for himself, even if Chan got him back.</p><p><em>If Chan got him back</em>.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix wakes up, groggy and disoriented. He scans the room with unfocused eyes. It's unfamiliar.</p><p>His clothes and shoes are gone along with his other belongings. His mouth is dry with a sweet aftertaste lingering on his tongue, which is worrying considering that Felix never accepted the sweets from Rosie.  </p><p>There’s a band-aid covering dull, throbbing pain in the crease of his elbow, a reminder of how a human nurse came by to draw blood earlier, made him strip and then examined every inch of his body like Felix was some kind of damaged doll in need of repairs. During the humiliating procedures, a male vampire with neck tattoos stood watch with gleaming eyes, sniffing the air as Felix’s blood flowed into the vial. He was left alone feeling dizzy and cold from the blood loss, and eventually passed out from exhaustion.</p><p>Felix doesn’t know how much time has passed – there is no window in the room, no clock or any electronic device, only the surprisingly comfortable bed, a dresser and an armchair. The duvet is light peach in colour, and the walls are painted baby blue.</p><p>Felix wobbles to the dresser and finds a pile of fresh clothes there. He pulls on a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of trousers, but he notices quickly that there is something wrong with the garments. They feel oddly thin and too small at weird places. There’s no mirror, but Felix knows he’d never walk out the door wearing something that flimsy.</p><p>Jisoo barges in right after Felix has finished dressing himself. Felix doesn’t care to know if there’s a camera in his room, or if the vampires are spying on him using their mysterious abilities. It feels awful all the same.</p><p>There’s a deep frown on the vampire’s doll-like face, which only deepens when Rosie steps into the room in her wake.</p><p>”It was completely clean. He has no drugs, no venom in his system. He has only two bite marks as he told us,” Jisoo says, eyes fixed on Felix who’s trying to cover himself a little by wrapping his arms around his torso.</p><p>Weirdly, Rosie starts to smile, but it’s not a smile of relief. It’s – intrigue. “Our little Felix decided to run away from home, is that it? Made it look like a kidnapping to make daddy worried and panicky?” She smooths down the hem of her low-cut white blouse.</p><p>Felix clicks his tongue impatiently. ”I ran, yes, to get away from all this rubbish.” He gestures around himself, the bleak interior of his little jail cell. “Can I go now?”</p><p>Rosie laughs, and this time it’s openly malicious, like the veneer of humanity has completely disappeared. Her teeth look incredibly sharp as she laughs.</p><p>For the first time since getting kidnapped, he starts getting worried for his life.</p><p>But the result is even worse than a threat on his life. “So what you’re telling me, is that I accidentally kidnapped the Bang clan human – no, you only had two bite marks,” she corrects herself, “Bang Chan’s personal human, who just <em>happens</em> to also be Lee Sangtae’s runaway son. That’s too funny, Felix.”</p><p>She keeps laughing until Jisoo joins her.</p><p>“It’s a small world, indeed,” she continues in delight.</p><p>It doesn’t take a genius to realise that Felix isn’t going anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>It has been three full days of an agonising routine.</p><p>During the day Felix is locked up in the bedroom without food or drink or even access to a toilet. At night, if he’s been sitting prettily in his little prison without complaints, he’s free to roam the house. Felix wonders through the same rooms over and over again – rooms that look like someone has vomited chalk pastels on every surface.</p><p>The clothes he wears are still too thin, too low-cut, exposing his thin frame in all the wrong places. He’s allowed to lounge around and watch TV with the vampires in the living room, but the stares of the clan members make him anxious, keep him constantly on edge even though no one lays a hand on him, possibly on the leader’s orders.</p><p>The Park clan is huge compared to Chan’s inner circle of five vampires. There’re at least a few dozen of them, both male and female. Many of them speak a mix of Korean and English to each other much like Chan used to do with Felix. The vampires laugh and coo at Felix, call him cute and delicate, a bored little bunny. Felix tries to ignore them, seem indifferent and docile, but their condescending looks of adoration are slowly starting to get under his skin. </p><p>Even his diet is a subtle mindfuck. He’s given lots of sugary things – bowls of sweets, fruit, fizzy drinks – but nothing substantial. Felix can’t prove it, but he feels like an animal getting overfed just before ending up on a feast table with a caramelised apple in his mouth. In this case though, they’re spiking up his blood instead of making him gain weight. Felix is constantly jittery, riding his sugar highs in nauseating waves, but when he tried to refuse food, Jisoo was called in to sit down with him until he was able to finish the whole plate.</p><p>A few times Felix sees other humans, some of them with fresh bite marks on their necks and wrists, and he wonders if they too have had to consume ridiculous amounts of sweets to be qualified as dinner. Felix doesn’t want to know what happens when they deem him ready.</p><p>The only good thing is that the pale figure wandering through the house on shaky feet isn’t considered a threat in any capacity. Felix tries to match his expression to the image, a defeated human with no resources. The little bunny he almost believes he is.</p><p>It pays off.</p><p>It’s a tiny slip-up from a female vampire with a short bob and impossibly large eyes. She complains loudly about how the phones Rosie buys for them are shit and barely work. She tosses it on the table and goes to the kitchen to pour herself some blood. </p><p>Felix takes his chances and snatches the phone with quick fingers, tucking it under the waistband of his trousers.</p><p>It works almost too well, as Rosie strolls in right after that, scolding the other vampire for running her mouth. The vampire leaves muttering apologies, the phone long forgotten.</p><p>Rosie stays in the room, her elegant body leaning against the table right where the phone was just half a minute ago. Felix realises that he hasn’t talked to the leader since their tense conversation in his cell.</p><p>The phone burns against Felix’s bare skin as Rosie’s eyes travel up and down his body. Felix tries not to think what her gaze implies.</p><p>”If you really dislike daddy that much, I could easily take care of your problem,” she suddenly says with a bright, near childish smile lighting up her angelic face.</p><p>”Wh–what do you m–mean?” Felix asks. His stomach is doing wild somersaults. </p><p>”I could turn you into one of us, silly. You still have that youthful roundness in your cheeks, it would quite honestly be a waste to let it wilt away.”</p><p>Felix grinds his teeth together trying not to react, not to get provoked. He knows how to do that, he has lived like that for years.</p><p>”You could take back control.”</p><p>”You say that and keep me locked up in this house,” Felix shoots back in a neutral, controlled tone.</p><p>Rosie pats Felix’s hair, fondly, and to his horror Felix sees a mixture of bloodlust and arousal in her dark eyes. He then remembers waking up with the taste of artificial strawberry on his tongue, and it makes him want to throw up.</p><p>Rosie doesn’t try to stop him when Felix runs to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p> •••</p><p> </p><p>Felix’s plan is taking form, finalising. He has a phone now, which he’s too scared to use while the vampires are awake. He has a kitchen knife, stolen in the chaos caused by a clan member who came home bloody and barely hanging onto consciousness. Rosie screamed when she realised her favourite rug was ruined, and the sound was more than enough to disguise Felix’s light steps. He knows a little knife wouldn’t do much against a vampire, but it feels reassuring to have something sharp to hold onto.</p><p>Locked in his room, Felix sleeps a few restless hours, disrupted by his hunger pangs. He wakes up sweaty and tense. The vampires are still asleep. Felix takes the phone out of the pillowcase, handling it with feather-light fingers. It’s a burner phone without a passcode, but there is no internet, either. He has ten percent of battery left – it has to be enough for two phone calls.  </p><p>The first one will be to the only number he has bothered to memorise since coming to Seoul, his only shot.</p><p>The phone rings many times, way too many, and Felix’s heart is beating to the rhythm of a lopsided waltz.</p><p>Please pick up just this once <em>pleasepleaseplease</em> – –</p><p>”Min Yoongi?” The tone is questioning, suspicious. Felix’s phone must have caller ID blocking. </p><p>Felix draws in a long breath of silent relief, clutching at his heart with his free hand to will it calmer, less obvious to the vampires sleeping a few rooms away.</p><p>He whispers in the smallest voice he has ever produced in his life, ”it’s Yongbok. Lee Yongbok.”</p><p>”Oh Yongbok? Aren’t you supposed to have multiple days of your contract left? Why are you calling me?”</p><p>”Please,” Felix breathes out, praying that the manager is getting suspicious. Alert.</p><p>”I need to talk to Ch– <em>Chris</em>. Urgently.” Even with the blanket drawn over his head, he’s certain someone will just hear him, some bastard suffering from insomnia even after their natural death. Felix knows Chan’s name is like Voldemort in the Park house. Call it superstition, but Felix can’t bring himself to utter it out loud, even though it’s the only name that matters to him now, the only name he wants to hear said.</p><p>”Umm, he must be – still sleeping, if I understand correctly.”</p><p>”I just need his number. I don’t have it. Please.”</p><p>Felix hears a noise of confusion, a series of steps and a door closing. It becomes completely quiet at the other end. </p><p>”I’ll give you the number. Do you have a pen?”</p><p>”Just – say it. Slowly.” Felix presses his eyelids shut in concentration. He doesn’t dare move. The vampires are still asleep. They won’t realise anything. He’ll be able to do this.</p><p>Manager Min repeats the digits twice. Felix carves them into the surface of his soul, like he’s holding the kitchen knife inside his pillow.</p><p>After Felix is sure he remembers the number, he hangs up. There’s no time to waste, he has three percent of battery. He dials Chan’s number.</p><p>It doesn’t ring even once.</p><p>“Bang Chan.” The voice is smoky bourbon, raspy, unrecognisable.</p><p>But Felix wants to cry hearing it. He wants to apologise so badly – for pulling Chan into his mess, for begging for a rescue operation that will only risk the lives of Chan’s clan members – but right now, lonely and scared, Felix feels incredibly selfish. </p><p>”It’s me,” Felix whispers.</p><p>“Are you at the Park house?”</p><p>”Yes.”</p><p>”Can you run out, little one? Get out of the window? If you just make it through the yard we’ll be right there, waiting. Can you do that for us, Felix?”</p><p>Felix wants to wail and sob. Keeping the sound inside hurts.</p><p>“I will try – an hour after sundown. The back alley behind the house. I have a plan.”</p><p>”Of course you do, you’re so smart and brave. Just run and don’t look back. We’ll have a car ready.”</p><p>”What if they come after me?”</p><p>The phone plinks its warning about low battery. Felix’s fingers twitch around the cheap plastic.</p><p>Chan starts growling, quietly, but it’s powerful, the sound surges through Felix’s weakened body like a jolt of electricity.</p><p>”I’m counting on that they will.” Felix hears the wide grin of menace in his voice.</p><p>The battery dies. </p><p>Felix discards the phone between the mattress and the wall and swallows the salt of his tears. </p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix is released by a grumpy-looking Jisoo, who promptly leaves to get herself a drink from the kitchen. The sun is down, has been for a while now if Felix’s calculations hold true. Chan must be on his way. Felix is wearing his thin, impractical clothing, and he’s barefoot because he was never given new socks and shoes. The knife is tucked away in his trousers, the metal blade now warm and almost comforting against his thigh.</p><p>The final part of his plan is a window at the back of the house. It has an old locking mechanism that seems easy to open. He brushes past it in a casual way, taking support. The windowpane gives in under his fingertips with the tiniest of sounds.</p><p>It will creak.</p><p>He needs ten extra seconds, a diversion. He thinks of using his body, cutting into himself and smearing blood all over the walls, but it’s too risky, he might be too slow and get killed instead. The next best thing would be –</p><p>Felix’s thoughts are disrupted by a loud shattering noise. It's the sound of a window being smashed in. His diversion.</p><p>Felix pushes with all of his upper body strength, and the window springs open with an unoiled screech. He leaps out of the window, and his body smashes into the decorative bushes below. The branches tear the flimsy fabric of his trousers, dig into the sensitive soles of his feet, but Felix’s eyes are trained on the low fence. He hears shouts and yells behind him. </p><p>He starts running. The ground feels wet under his feet. The blades of grass are sharp like tiny needles. He scales the fence, hands slipping, feet dragging behind him like sacks of grain, but he – makes it.</p><p>Felix lands on his feet but loses balance as his weak knees buckle under him. He scrambles to his feet as the shouting and hissing grows louder, like he’s being chased by a pack of blood-hungry wolves.</p><p>He looks up to see a blond figure at the end of the alleyway – Hyunjin. He’s looking at something behind Felix, eyes wide. Felix realises he won’t get to the vampire in time. His lungs are burning already, and there’s a constant, throbbing pain in his knees.</p><p>At that moment something nearly tackles Felix, and before he can shout, he hears the gentle voice of Changbin calling out his name.</p><p>”You’re hurt,” Changbin murmurs and lifts Felix up into his arms like he weighs nothing. The world tilts, and Felix catches a glimpse of Chan’s back, wide and strong just like he remembered. Chan is facing the Park clan lair, a low growl emanating from him. A challenge.</p><p>”Run,” Chan growls, still not looking at Felix, and Changbin runs. So fast that the buildings and the sky and the ground start bleeding into each other.</p><p>Despite his speed, Changbin doesn’t get far. Felix hears a menacing growl from his left, and Changbin stumbles on his feet. Felix crashes to the ground once more with a fresh wave of pain blooming in his battered limbs, mixing into the mild nausea from the dehydration and lack of food. Felix doesn’t have the strength to stand up.</p><p>Changbin is still close to him, put up against two vampires, one wiry and tall and the other particularly mean-looking. The shorter one is dragging a long metal pipe along the asphalt, producing a horrible soundtrack for the fight around him. Along the screech of metal against ground, Felix’s ears register the occasional snarl and snap of teeth. Sounds of something being ripped in two, the sounds of objects hitting the ground. The air smells like rusted nails and car oil, and he sees big, gleaming eyes come nearer – –</p><p>The vampire approaching him is yanked back by her short hair, and there is Chan, eyes bloodshot and wild like he’s a beast from a children’s tale. Chan’s jaws open impossibly wide before closing around the female vampire’s throat with ease. She manages to let out one strangled cry before her ability to speak is ripped away from her, forever most likely.</p><p>Chan lets go of the limp and broken body of the vampire, the same one Felix stole the phone from, and she falls, falls like a ragdoll to the ground all the while Chan growls and throws his head back, mouth wide open to reveal a pair of terrifyingly white fangs. Thick and dark vampire blood trickles down his chin. </p><p>It’s almost silent for a brief second, almost peaceful, but then Felix hears a disgusting crunch, a sound that shouldn’t exist. A piercing wail echoes in the narrow alley.</p><p>Felix and Chan turn their head at the same moment, just to see Changbin falling backwards, eyes open in shock. There is something horribly wrong with his chest, something protruding –</p><p>The sounds of sirens break out in the distance, human law enforcement. </p><p>The fight is over just like that, the other vampires scurrying back into the shadows as if they’ve all decided at the same moment that it’s not worth it to get in trouble with the human police.</p><p>They’ve won.</p><p>Except Changbin is still lying on the ground, unmoving, not getting up to smile and to smooth out his messed up hair. Felix gets on his feet and sprints, almost falling forward. Chan is there first, kneeling beside Changbin’s head and yelling something without meaning, pure noises of desperation. The injured vampire is blinking weakly.</p><p>Chan wraps both of his hands around the metal pipe lodged deep inside Changbin’s chest cavity. Hyunjin is there, too, slipping his hands below Chan’s, and they’re starting to <em>pull</em>.</p><p>“Don’t,” Felix pleads, Changbin will die of blood loss, he needs a hospital, a surgeon.</p><p>“We need to get this out,” Chan growls with glassy eyes as they work with Hyunjin. Changbin’s fingers are still twitching, and his eyelids flutter in pain.</p><p>“He can’t start healing with it there interfering,” Hyunjin explains with a panicked huff.</p><p>So they pull, and pull, and pull, and Felix’s heart leaps out of his chest alongside the remaining of his sugary meal from last night.</p><p>The noise Changbin’s chest makes is obscene, a wet squelch with blood splattering all over Chan’s fingers and into Hyunjin’s silvery hair.</p><p>Changbin screams, but it’s a short, aborted cry. His eyes are rolling back, on the verge of unconsciousness.</p><p>”Shit, shit Binnie, stay with me. We need some blood right fucking now. How far is the closest hospital?” Chan yells as he presses his hands over the wound.</p><p>Seungmin emerges from the darkness with a split lip and a partly dried up layer of blood covering his left cheek. It’s difficult to tell if the blood is his. ”I think it’s ten minutes or so?”</p><p>The vampire is already taking off his shirt and handing it to Chan, who replaces his hands with the cloth.</p><p>”I’ll get him,” Chan says, pushing his trembling hands under Changbin’s limp and lifeless form. More blood gushes out of the wound, soaking the white shirt when Chan tries to lift him. Changbin groans, but the sound is nothing but a weak little gurgle of blood and spit.</p><p>Felix doesn’t know the specific circumstances needed for someone immortal to die. But a gaping whole right below the heart might just do the trick.</p><p>But maybe Felix can help.</p><p>Felix lifts his shirt and takes the knife out with stiff, numb fingers. The blade is glinting under the pale yellow streetlights, sharp. No one is looking at him.</p><p>He brings it to his wrist, but his hands are slippery with cold sweat. He knows he needs to hit an artery to get fresh, oxygenated blood. He overheard some Park vampires discussing the topic in disturbing detail.</p><p>He wills his hand steady.</p><p>”Don’t move him, hyung,” Felix shouts, and all heads turn to look at him.</p><p>Chan raises his blood-stained hand. ”Wait, Felix don’t –”</p><p>The knife sinks through his flesh with fascinating ease, like it’s a stick of butter. There’s none of the resistance, none of the hesitation he was expecting from himself.</p><p>Maybe it’s the adrenaline dulling his pain so he can cut deeper without hesitation, pierce the artery he knows to run along his inner wrist. The cut swells with an even stripe of blood.</p><p>Hyunjin is next to him in an instant, pulling him forward to make him kneel right next to Changbin. Minho has appeared from somewhere – he’s prying Changbin’s slack jaw open, smacking him on the cheeks to get him to react.</p><p>Then Chan touches Felix. He wraps his fingers around Felix’s arm just above the cut, starts guiding it to Changbin’s mouth. Blood drips everywhere, sliding down Felix’s fingers and landing in Changbin’s sweat-matted hair, his nose, and finally his lips, Felix notices that Chan is squeezing the vessels through his skin, regulating the blood flow. It’s like a makeshift tourniquet.</p><p>For a moment he can feel Changbin’s lips around his skin, cold and motionless. Chan is massaging his jaw with his free hand, pressing down on his throat to get him to swallow. It looks like a grotesque version of CPR. Felix’s hand trembles in Chan’s tight hold as more blood flows at the pace which the vampire allows.</p><p>Felix is floating from the rapid blood loss, but Chan is sharp in the centre of his field of vision. Felix realises he has never seen an expression quite like that on Chan’s handsome face, the way his eyes glimmer in utter devotion.</p><p>It’s a completely inappropriate moment for such thoughts, but Felix comes to the realisation that Changbin isn’t just a friend to Chan. He’s much more than that.</p><p>Felix feels another set of hands on his arm now, pulling him in from the elbow. Changbin’s eyes are open now, pained but alert, and he’s starting to swallow on his own.</p><p>The knife clatters to the ground between Felix’s parted knees. He didn’t realise he was still holding onto it.</p><p>Chan breathes out a near-silent ‘thank you’ to Changbin, but it sounds more like a love confession.</p><p>In that moment, as the sounds of sirens grow louder in the cold night air, the three of them are connected by touch and blood in a twistedly beautiful triad.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This wasn’t a cliff-hanger, right? You saw it yourself, Binnie not dead! </p><p>Also, if Rosie says ’daddy’ or ’baby’ one more time, I’ll punch something.</p><p> <br/>Lore notes: Even though incredibly resilient creatures, vampires in this AU can die from physical injury. I dislike the good old ’stake to the heart’ trope.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Nurturance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some melancholic fluff to soothe your heart.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Changbin is drifting underwater, weightless but paralysed, unable to swim back to the surface. It’s dark and cold. How did he end up here? He can’t remember.</p><p>Someone is talking above him in a scared voice, but he can’t make out the words while the water is rushing into his ears with great pressure, muffling all sounds around him.</p><p>There are other peculiar things as well. His hands are wrapped around something warm and solid, and the water filling his mouth is hot and sweet on his tongue unlike the cold wetness tight around his chest. The difference in temperature doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s there, oddly familiar and comforting.</p><p><em>My clan</em>, Changbin thinks. It tastes and feels like his clan, like safety and home. The taste is incredibly delicious, so he decides to concentrate on it. It’s easy swallow the liquid down, easy to hold onto while he floats aimlessly. He senses another presence too, just as calming, cool, a soothing hand running through his damp hair. It keeps him from drifting too far away from the glowing warmth.</p><p>Changbin’s ears are starting to work, but the sound keeps cutting off, getting closer and then distant again. ”–elix, he looks too pale, his heart can’t ta– – catch h–”</p><p>Why is Felix pale? Changbin doesn’t understand. And why is he here in the deep black sea with him? It’s too dangerous for a human.</p><p>The warmth disappears without a warning, and Changbin mewls in disagreement, tries to locate the source by sight, but it seems to be too dark in the depths. Or maybe his eyelids are just too heavy to fully open under the immense pressure of the water.</p><p>”Seungmin – –ve your shoes to – no don’t try to walk, let me carr– – give him something warm, his temperature –”</p><p>Changbin tries to use his sense of smell to identify the distorted voices around him, but everything is overpowered by the disgusting stench of rusty iron and salt. It’s coming from somewhere close. Is there an old boat somewhere nearby, is Felix on a boat with Seungmin?</p><p> Multiple footsteps make the ground beneath him vibrate. Ground? Changbin turns his head, and to his shock, his cheek touches asphalt, cold and rough with tiny grains of sand digging into his skin.</p><p>”This is the police! Get down on the ground, hands behind your heads!”</p><p>Changbin’s theory of being lost in the sea is crumbling down.</p><p>”Step away from the injured human, now!”</p><p>Someone is growling low from their throat right next to Changbin.</p><p>A much quieter voice, one Changbin has trouble hearing, starts to speak. ”– cut myself. That vampire on the gr– – ’s hurt!”</p><p>Are they talking about him? That would theoretically make sense, seeing that he’s still unable to do anything but lie flat on the ground and inhale the disgusting mix of odours around him. He still laments the loss of the sweet and rich liquid he was allowed to experience only a moment ago. The recollection of the taste makes him salivate all over again, and it would be rather embarrassing if only Changbin didn’t black out right at that moment.</p><p>When Changbin comes to, there’s a bright light hitting his face, visible even through his closed eyelids. A strange human is standing over him, his heartbeat elevated.</p><p>”Is this one still alive?”</p><p>”I can’t tell. It’s not like we can check for pulse,” someone else laughs nervously, a woman this time.</p><p>Changbin’s senses are finally getting sharper. He flexes his fingers as if to check that his hands still exist.</p><p>One of the humans lets out a sharp yell. ”It moved, I think.”</p><p>“You’re such a scaredy cat,” the female scolds.</p><p>The other voice is starting to tremble. “I have never seen – outside the shitty training videos they showed us. What are we going to do with a <em>vampire</em>?”</p><p>“That leader guy wants to take him with them. I’ll call the chief really quick.”</p><p>It’s silent for a while. Changbin notices he’s hurting all over, like he was hit by a truck. It reminds him of something, a blunt object swinging in the air –</p><p>“You there,” one of the humans calls out rather informally, “what was your name again?”</p><p>Chan’s voice, a voice he would recognise anywhere, booms through the air. ”Bang Chan. I have a legally binding contract with this human, which means it’s my responsibility to provide him with medical care without delay. And that vampire over there needs more blood, he has suffered major trauma to the chest area. Nothing human doctors are able to help with.”</p><p>Major trauma.</p><p>Changbin forces his eyelids open halfway. The sky looks beautiful above him, reminds of him of the one time he travelled through North Korea with Chan just to see the sky without light pollution. They lay in some tall grass and took turns mapping out constellations in the sky. Chan took his hand chastely, held it for hours and hours and let it go only moments before the inevitable sunrise.</p><p>They spent their days in people’s basements and during the night they ran, across fields and along riverbanks, over steep mountains. They hunted like in the old times, stealing a mouthful of blood here and there, never taking too much. They showered their victims with gifts of game they caught while traversing the wilderness. Changbin was very happy that summer.</p><p>He’s unsure of what led him to recall that specific period in their long life together as clan, as family. They’ve had so many remarkable experiences together – it was only a small trip, a diversion, something between the two of them. Suddenly Changbin feels like crying, crying from missing Chan so much even though the vampire is right there, no more than a few metres away.</p><p>The others are still talking about some mysterious puddle of blood with no visible source, something about witness statements and investigations, but Changbin has more and more difficulty concentrating, his world getting narrower until there’s nothing but foggy static, a strangely soothing void he’s falling into.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Changbin wakes up to the scent of fresh linen and strawberries. He can almost <em>see</em> the leaves of tiny forest strawberries sagging under the weight of morning dew at the edge of a clearing. There’s an odd ache in his chest, one that radiates outwards in waves, reaching his fingertips every few seconds, but it’s more than bearable when it smells <em>that nice</em>. </p><p>He opens his eyes to an unexpected sight.</p><p>Felix is sleeping next to him, curled up into a tiny ball, limbs tucked against his rising chest. His head rests on a plush pillow, and his warm breath is hitting Changbin’s cheek on every exhale.</p><p>Why is Felix lying in a foetal position next to Changbin, in his own bed?</p><p>As if to answer the silent question, the human huffs and then smacks his lips a bit, a sticky little sound, and it’s so cute that Changbin’s heart swells like it’s about to start beating again.</p><p>Felix looks peaceful in his sleep. Content. Not at all like he has been through unimaginable horrors for the past several days.</p><p>An image of Felix climbing over a fence flashes through Changbin’s mind. The human didn’t have shoes or proper clothes, and he kept falling over in exhaustion – – and then Changbin himself got hurt somehow. His memory seems to be full of holes, he can’t remember how exactly they got home, but Felix is here now, safe and sound and somehow occupying Changbin’s room.</p><p>The door opens with a small creak. Changbin recognises the footsteps before tearing his eyes away from Felix’s sleeping form.</p><p>”Chan hyung, be quiet,” Changbin warns with a whisper.</p><p>“Oh thank God, I could not get him to fall asleep even though he was absolutely exhausted. Felix was sure you would just spontaneously burst open and bleed out on the bed if he closed his eyes for a second.”</p><p>Chan too is speaking in hushed tones, a voice that only vampire ears can easily pick up. Felix exhales through his nose and rolls over to his other side in his sleep, seemingly unbothered by their conversation.</p><p>“He looks so peaceful now,” Changbin says with his throat constricting painfully</p><p>Chan huffs, a little bit amused maybe. “You should’ve seen him before. We had to treat him like a prince, bring his food upstairs and basically hand-feed it to him because of the injuries in his palms and wrist. Well, I didn’t exactly object to feeding him, but still –“</p><p>Changbin interrupts his affectionate ramblings. “Wrist?” A few scattered puzzle pieces of his memory slot together in a blinding flash of neurons, and suddenly Changbin doesn’t want to remember anymore – him dropping Felix to the ground and causing him to cry out in pain, him trying to lure the vampires in his direction instead of focusing on Felix – <em>fuck</em>. The smooth slide of blood down his throat, and the voices of the police officers –“</p><p>Chan seems to notice that his friend is going into full panic mode, so he touches the backside of Changbin’s hand with soft fingers. The message is clear: ‘later’.</p><p>”How long have I been out of it?”</p><p>”It’s now three o’clock in the afternoon.”</p><p>”Oh.”</p><p>“You looked peaceful in your sleep, too,” Chan says gently.</p><p>Changbin thinks about it briefly, the vampire sitting at his side and letting his gaze linger on him. He turns his eyes away to stare at the heavy drapes in front of the window, blocking all sunlight.</p><p>”How’s my condition?” Changbin asks carefully. He’s too big a coward to lift the sheets and check for himself. The memories of the fight are blurry, but he knows he was millimetres away from re-death. He now remembers the fog starting to take over his vision, the horrible sound of his ribcage caving in.</p><p>Chan takes a step closer and pulls the sheet down a little bit. Changbin chickens out and focuses his eyes on Chan’s face instead, on the slope of his nose and the tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. The vampire nods approvingly and reaches a hand to trail his feather-light fingers along Changbin’s jawbone. The touch lingers.</p><p>The physical affection isn’t completely strange for them, but it’s rarely this sensual.</p><p>”Am I going to have a cool scar?” Changbin asks to lighten the mood.</p><p>Chan hums. ”You know very well that vampires don’t scar.”</p><p>The other vampire pulls away from the contact, and Changbin stifles the disappointed whine in this throat.</p><p>He glances at Felix who has kicked most of his blankets off. ”How’s he?”</p><p>Chan is quiet for a while, eyes trailing to the sleeping man as well. He looks like he’s desperate to touch Felix – his hand is half raised, fingers curled in a way that would be perfect for stroking his exposed nape, run the fingers along his curved back – but he doesn’t. Chan only looks at Felix with silent wonder and yearning.</p><p>”I want to rip her head off,” he states.</p><p>”What did she do?”</p><p>Chan refuses to answer at first, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Changbin waits patiently, because he can’t stand up to comfort Chan by touch.</p><p>”He has lost weight even though he was in that place for no more than a few days. He was seriously dehydrated, so the doctor gave him IV fluids.”</p><p>“Do you know the details?” Changbin asks again.</p><p>“I – I talked to him, yes. He told me some things, but I think it was a heavily censored version. I’ll try again tomorrow. If you’re curious, you can ask him about it yourself, because I don’t want to talk about it without his permission.”</p><p>Changbin nods weakly. His eye catches the large mirror on the wall. He’s relieved that he the angle is wrong, and he can’t see his ruined body in full detail.</p><p>“How about the police? I’m sure I heard sirens before losing consciousness.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you the full story later, when you’re in better health, but let’s just say it was an incredible stroke of luck that I met the police commissioner at that fundraiser two months ago. I killed one of the Park clan members, and her friends dragged the body off, but she left behind quite the puddle of blood. They believed me when I said the vampire fled the scene after deeming the fight lost, but I still have to go down to the station with Felix.”</p><p>Chan sighs and takes one more look at Felix. Changbin realises how close their bodies are to touching even when the man has his back turned.</p><p>”About Felix sleeping here with me,” Changbin starts a bit awkwardly, “do you not mind?”</p><p>He’s offering the opportunity to Chan, the time for him to draw lines and threaten Changbin to keep his hands to himself or else – but Chan only smiles, and it nearly reaches his eyes that are still hollow with worry.</p><p>Chan rubs the back of his neck. “I <em>can’t</em> exactly mind anymore.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>“Chan hyung, that was fast. I don’t think you have, not after your first human –”</p><p>Chan nods. “I haven’t considered a human companion my clan member since the first one.”</p><p>“And now, you decided –?”</p><p>“You know damn well I didn’t decide shit,” Chan snaps, and it’s kind of funny that he does it in a tiny voice. “It just happened.”</p><p>“You haven’t told Felix yet, I assume.”</p><p>“Of course not, how could I say something like that when he’s –“ Chan gestures desperately in Felix’s direction, “– like this and I’m just –“</p><p>“If he still wants to leave after all this, you’re going to let him go?” It would be almost impossible for Chan to do that, losing a human clan member would be as painful as biting one’s leg off.</p><p>“I must. At least I need to prepare for it, as most humans would never want to form lifelong ties to some undead losers, you know?”</p><p>Changbin grimaces. “You’re right, hyung. But I’m going to enjoy his company for as long as he’ll have us. And you don’t have to worry about anything, Now that you’ve claimed this human, I will honour every tradition, I know my place hyung.”</p><p>Chan chuckles, but it’s only little bursts of air not to wake Felix. “Always so orthodox, Binnie. I know you’ve spent a lot of time with him, especially when the two of us were being awkward with each other. I think it’s only fair he comes to you for comfort. Lately I’ve only been able to think with my d– uhh yeah.”</p><p>Changbin swallows, and the spit is so sticky that it drags at the back of his throat.</p><p>“Speaking of a <em>dick</em>,” Changbin says trying to turn his mortification into a joke, “have you turned this clan into a complete tyranny now that I’m not there to keep you in line?”</p><p>“Not quite yet. Minho’s human is putting me in my place every five minutes. He keeps asking about Felix, but he’s too tired to socialise just yet. I think I only have all of my fingers left, because Minho came back from the rescue mission in one piece. If this –“ Chan gestures at Changbin’s bandaged chest,”–happened to Minho, there would be a pile of dead vampires left in Jisung’s wake.” Chan grimaces at himself, but Changbin lets out a weak chuckle. Felix’s eyelids flutter at the noise, and they quickly fall into silence again.</p><p>“I’ll bring you a bag of blood. You’ll drink all of it,” Chan announces, walking to the door on his tiptoes.</p><p>“I’m not that hungry, hyung.”</p><p>Something flashes past Chan’s eyes, familiar and novel at the same time, it’s a look Changbin has seen before, but only a handful of times.</p><p>“It wasn’t a question.” He slips out of the door with a tight-lipped smirk before Changbin has time to object.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Changbin dozes off in his blood coma but wakes up again just before sundown. He spends a few moments staring shamelessly at Felix by his side. The young man is snoring and huffing gently, hands curled into fists around the edge of the sheet. Pretty, small hands that he used to hurt himself for Changbin. To save his life if that’s what being a vampire can be called.</p><p>Felix opens his eyes, and they share a brazenly long stare.</p><p>“Hey there,” Changbin greets in a small voice.</p><p>He’s met with a genuine smile, but the human smells a bit sad and sour, mentally drained. Despite the change in his scent the man is still Felix, his heartbeat instantly recognisable and his breathing pattern still calm and sleep-heavy.</p><p>“Did you sleep well?”</p><p>Felix doesn’t immediately answer, but instead rolls onto his stomach and starts stretching his slender body like a cat lying in the afternoon sun. He’s wrapped in soft fleece from the neck down with fuzzy socks covering his feet and rising over his calves. They have a white and blue stripy pattern going around them. Changbin isn’t sure where someone found such an adorable pair of socks, but he is happy that Felix’s blood is flowing warm and steady in his veins. His cheeks are the normal shade of pale pink with some of his light freckles offering a pronounced dusting over his cheekbones.</p><p>Changbin feels way too lucky to have him here, all to himself even if it’s under the pretence of his near fatal injury. Felix is just so nice and – so <em>pretty</em>.</p><p>“I did sleep well,” he finally answers. “But why are you looking at me like that?” Felix asks, still smiling and searching for Changbin’s face with his lazily blinking eyes. They are a rich shade of brown.</p><p>Because you’re beautiful, Changbin thinks.</p><p>“Because you were sleeping so well,” he says out loud.</p><p>“That’s a bit creepy, hyung, watching me sleep.”</p><p>Hearing Felix call him ‘hyung’ so casually is nice, too. Everything about this would be sickly sweet in another context.</p><p>“It’s not that weird,” Changbin objects with his best smile. “Are you hungry, Lix?” He knows that he is, of course, as Felix’s stomach is gurgling every few seconds.</p><p>“A little,” the human admits. “I’m sort of craving yachaejeon with soy sauce, and lamb skewers and bulgogi and –“ Felix nearly chokes on his own saliva and then looks a bit embarrassed. “Everything salty and greasy, I guess.”</p><p>Changbin wants nothing more than to run his hands through Felix’s silky hair and pinch his cheeks a little, but he restrains himself. “I know for a fact that Hyunjin still makes a mean vegetable pancake, and Chan hyung is excellent at cooking meat.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes twinkle, hopeful and excited.</p><p>It doesn’t take long to have the human cross-legged on the bed chopsticks in hand, munching happily on a fatty cut of beef. Chan stays with them throughout the meal, feeding Felix tiny pieces of yachaejeon drenched in thick soy sauce. It’s funny to see Chan using human utensils with such care.</p><p>After the heavy meal Felix is starting to feel sleepy again. He fluffs up a pillow and lies down on his back. Chan looks at him like he wants to put bubble wrap all over his fragile human body and carry him to his own bed, but he voices none of his wishes. He touches Felix’s hand, trailing a path over his knuckles and even going as far as to swipe a tiny streak of grease off of the underside of his bottom lip. Felix lets him do that, even leans into the touch slightly, eyes fluttering shut. Changbin feels a weird rush of heat travel through his cold body at the intimate display.</p><p>But Felix doesn’t fall asleep after Chan has left. He lies in place with his eyes open again, staring at the ceiling.</p><p>”Uhh hyung?” he suddenly starts speaking.</p><p>There’s now a peculiar look on Felix’s face. Sheepish and ashamed, maybe, but there’s a tiny spark behind his eyes.</p><p>”Do you have something to say?” Changbin murmurs. It’s so tempting to tease him a bit, cock his eyebrows to see if it would stir up a reaction, but he needs to be gentle. Let Felix go at his own pace.</p><p>Even though he has an inkling of what the subject matter could be.</p><p>Felix sucks in a huge breath. “Is Chan hyung far enough that he won’t –“</p><p>“Hear?” Changbin completes his sentence. “Yes, if you don’t speak too loudly. I think he went to his study.”</p><p>Felix nods resolutely. ”You see, I kind of – I kissed Chan hyung in his office before all the things that happened. Did he tell you about it?”</p><p>“Does hyung seem like a person who would go around bragging about those things?”</p><p>“I guess not,” Felix breathes out. He spreads his arms and legs out, which makes him resemble a blue starfish in his comfy outfit.</p><p>“Did you like – kissing him?”</p><p>Felix seems to think about it for a long time. “I did – yeah I liked it a lot. But I was kind of weird and aggressive about it and then left the house immediately after, so I’m afraid it left a bad taste in Chan hyung’s mouth. I’m not sure how to bring it up, but even when I was th–there, in that place, I kept thinking about hyungs – I mean <em>hyung</em>.” He glances at Changbin with a sudden flicker of his eyes, searching something in the vampire’s face. Changbin isn’t sure if Felix finds whatever he’s looking for. “But now it’s all so very complicated.”</p><p>Before Changbin can form a coherent enough response, Felix waves one of his outstretched hands to indicate he wants to change the subject. In the process of doing that he manages to graze his injured wrist against the headboard. He winces in sudden pain.</p><p>Changbin lets his eyes fall down to the bright white bandage wrapped around Felix’s tiny wrist. After bringing his blood bag, Chan told him that there had been multiple stitches involved, a concern for possible nerve damage. Changbin’s heart lurches in a nauseating way.</p><p>He points at Felix’s arm. ”I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry about your hand.”</p><p>To his surprise, Felix grins, the corners of his lips curling inward and then up. ”You can’t feel sorry for something I did. If I remember correctly, you were practically unconscious when I made the decision.”</p><p>”But still, I feel bad for taking your blood when you and–” Changbin stops talking, because he can’t possibly explain his train of thought to the human. Chan has claimed Felix for his blood, and in a primitive sense he feels awful for interfering with their companionship. The fact that Chan has practically given his blessing to be <em>close</em> to Felix is beside the point.</p><p>”Didn’t hyung tell you?” Felix asks with a curious expression.</p><p>Changbin furrows his brow.</p><p>”Didn’t he tell you that I agreed to give my blood to you as well. It was in the contract, and even though it’s void now, I’m not one to take my words back that easily.”</p><p>Changbin blinks, baffled.</p><p>If he was slightly weaker a vampire, he would start growling now and reach to touch Felix’s neck in a possessive way. That would of course end with Chan ripping his throat open.</p><p>“Well, thank you for saving my life,” Changbin says flatly, trying to swallow his saliva and failing. He wonders what Felix would think if he knew about his new position in the clan. It would be his if Felix only wanted it, and Chan and Changbin and the others would take so good care of him, make sure their clan member never went hungry again. They would protect him with their own lives.</p><p>“You’re welcome. Did you like the taste – if you still can remember?”</p><p>Oh does he remember…</p><p>Changbin settles for nodding so that he doesn’t end up saying anything embarrassing about the heavenly taste of Felix’s blood.</p><p>They’re silent for a moment. Felix’s heart rate is picking up, he’s thinking about something.</p><p>“Not sleepy?” Changbin asks.</p><p>Felix shakes his head. He opens his mouth and closes it again, and Changbin gets the gut instinct that it’s no longer about a spontaneous make out session.</p><p>“Would you like to tell me what happened to you? I would love to listen,” Changbin suggests.</p><p>Felix stops breathing for a moment, which means Changbin was right. “I don’t want to burden you with it right now, maybe ask Chan hyung later?” he evades.</p><p>“Funny thing that he asked me to do the exact same thing,” Changbin huffs. “He didn’t want to put words in your mouth.”</p><p>Felix looks like he’s seriously considering it.</p><p>“Please, Lix. You don’t need to tell anything personal. Just the facts would be enough. I feel so useless and out of the loop, but me being temporarily bedridden doesn’t mean my brain can’t process information in a normal way.”</p><p>Felix bites his lower lip, as he tends to do when he’s nervous. Suddenly, he comes much closer and slips his hand into Changbin’s palm. The touch burns like dry ice.</p><p>He leans over until his strawberry scent grows and blooms into new heights, sweet and tart at the same time, like a strawberry field after a midsummer rain shower.</p><p>“The problem is that the whole thing is kind of personal,” he whispers straight into Changbin’s ear, and the vibrations of his breathing send little tingles down the vampire’s spine.</p><p>Changbin shuts his eyes in defeat.</p><p>Felix smacks his lips. “I could tell you about it, but in the form of a fairy tale. It is quite fitting after all since the plot is less believable than Cinderella with the transfiguring pumpkins and talking animals.”</p><p>Changbin reopens his eyes and meets Felix’s own, which glitter with distanced emotion.</p><p>“I would like that,” he says, and Felix nods with his face so, so close to Changbin’s.</p><p>Changbin doesn’t feel ready, but Felix starts talking in a calm, mesmerising voice that rumbles low in his chest. “The story begins with a boy who fell in love with another boy three years older than him. It was his first love, a tragic kind of love. The boy’s father, the king of the realm, was strict and ambitious while the boy was lacking in both character and his sexual proclivities. The king decided to send his son to an evil witch to make him mature faster, so that the boy could one day take the throne for himself.”</p><p>The hole in Changbin’s chest starts burning again, like the wound is being ripped open with roughly filed fingernails.</p><p>“The son might have been defective in his father’s eyes, but he wasn’t stupid. So one day the boy left without a word to a faraway place across the ocean. On his long journey he encountered many wondrous things and strange creatures, and he was starting to get happy again after years of being discontent with his life. But the king and the witch were enraged because they thought the king’s only son had been stolen by their adversaries.”</p><p>Changbin can’t take it anymore, he’s about to explode with rage. “But why did she hurt y– the boy in the end?”</p><p>Felix’s eyes darken, something simmering behind them, building up but not yet ready to burst out. “When the witch understood that the boy no longer belonged to his father, she wanted him all to herself.”</p><p>Breath hitches in Changbin’s throat when he tries to find some comforting words even though his brain is screaming at him with the need to demand more details, more reasons to take Chan and not return until they had Park Chaeyoung’s head on a pike.</p><p>But Felix isn’t done, the last bomb dropping after a dramatically prolonged silence.</p><p>“I think she hurt him so that he would break and submit, so that the witch could have him <em>forever</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>After Changbin is deemed healthy enough to sit up in his bed, he starts receiving a steady flow of visitors. Felix still refuses to leave his side, and the vampire suspects it’s partly because of the fact that if Felix would go downstairs, leave the safe confines of the bedroom, it would make him face the reality of what happened to him. It could break him apart.</p><p>But there is something else, too. Felix likes to sit on the bed, hugging his bruised knees and resting his chin on top of them, his eyes always fixed on Changbin. He carefully monitors every little interaction, shooting daggers out of his eyes whenever someone ventures too close to Changbin, as if the vampire is the one about to break from the slightest touch. It feels – nice, in a way, to be cared for like that, even if the babying comes with a side of emasculation.  </p><p>To his great surprise, the first visitor Changbin receives is Jeongin. The young human is rarely allowed inside the lair, which is on Chan’s strict orders. The reason behind the rule is that Chan still feels terrible guilt over the last errand boy and has outright refused to get to know Jeongin any more closely than absolutely necessary. Tonight seems to be an exception though, as the human tiptoes across the floor and stops at the edge of Changbin’s sick bed, wringing his hands as Felix shoots him a stern look of ‘not one step closer’. After he has deemed the situation under control, Felix smiles and greets the other human quite warmly. Changbin thanks Jeongin for stopping by as well, and the words of gratitude make him blush a little. Jeongin explains quite sheepishly that he was worried Changbin would die and he would have to start interacting with the scary leader instead.</p><p>Seungmin strolls in next with Hyunjin in tow, and when they almost climb on top of Changbin, Felix actually bares his teeth, hissing and snarling. Seungmin ruffles the human’s hair with unexpected fondness and says, “you’re becoming way too much like a vampire, ttalgi,” which makes Felix’s jaws close with a loud clack of embarrassment. Hyunjin agrees with a lazy smile and defies the wrath of Felix by poking Changbin in the cheek. It’s an affectionate little gesture, to check if Changbin is still real, still kicking after taking a metal pole to the chest.</p><p>Felix and Changbin spend a few moments of quiet alone, and then Minho and Jisung are barging in through the door in a wild whirl of limbs and emotions. They look equally excited and upset as if someone, most likely Chan, was trying to prevent them from doing just that. Jisung is already crying and dashing forward to throw himself at the dazed Felix, and it’s Changbin’s turn to start growling instinctively. Changbin reaches his still weak arms to grab the back of Felix’s shirt, ready to yank him backwards into the safety of his arms. He doesn’t have to do that, though. Minho scolds him for acting rudely toward Jisung (he doesn’t call him his human anymore), but gently pries the man off Felix and manipulates his body to face his broad chest instead.</p><p>Felix apologises profusely, looking a bit mad at himself for not being able to reciprocate Jisung’s strong emotional reaction. He keeps fiddling with the edge of his bandage, eyes lowered. Even though he seems drained by the visit, he musters a half smile to shoot at Jisung, asking if Minho is ‘this one hyung’, and if they’re together again. It makes the couple leave at lighting speed, and it would be adorable if it wasn’t so damn sad.</p><p>The last visitor of the night is Doctor Jung Hoseok, a gentle-mannered man who takes care of the blood donors at <em>Persona</em>. He drops by to check Felix’s stiches after his shift at the club. It’s the first time Changbin sees the wound with his own eyes, although he has been able to smell the severity of it, the droplets of blood absorbed by the gauze. Doctor Jung disinfects the wound with efficient hands under the watchful eyes of Chan and Changbin. Out of curiosity, the doctor even asks to see Changbin’s wound, at which he whistles, saying it defies science to see him propped against the pillows. In a day or two Changbin would be completely back to normal.</p><p>After the doctor’s visit Felix starts to feel strong enough to venture outside the bedroom. Changbin can’t help but feel disappointment, and Felix catches that like a hawk. He circles the bed and leans in to press a kiss to the soft part of Changbin’s cheek, and the vampire almost melts to a puddle.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” Felix says with his lips still hovering over his skin. Changbin realises it’s once again not for Chan’s ears.</p><p>“Anything,” he replies.</p><p>“I have to check something before I decide how to go about it.”</p><p>Changbin raises a brow, trying to sit up better.</p><p>“I know that –“ Felix is searching for the right words. His brow furrows in annoyance when he doesn’t find them. “I noticed the other day that Chan hyung really, really likes you, hyung. And I was just wondering – if you feel the same type of way. I <em>think</em> you do – I mean you tend to look at him with that expression on your face, you know whenever he comes to give you more blood. So – I wanted to make sure that I’m not misunderstanding anything. Okay now I’m just rambling on. Sorry.”</p><p>Felix blinks at Changbin, eyes wide and curious as if there’s absolutely nothing off about the situation.</p><p><em>Sorry</em>.</p><p>As if he hasn’t unveiled Changbin’s most closely kept secret just like that, in a few grammatically messy sentences.</p><p>But wait.</p><p>“Wait Felix, what did you just say? <em>Who really likes me</em>?”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oof clueless Binnie and cunning Lixie make the worst (or best) combo of sick leave buddies...</p><p>Rosie is busy licking her wounds, so I think it could be a great time for some side character back story! If you have a preference on what you would like to read about first, leave a comment below or hit me up on <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose"> Twitter</a> if comments on AO3 aren’t your tang! </p><p>The options:<br/>a) How Chan met Changbin and how they formed their lil clan together (fluffy)<br/>b) Minsung and their relationship (bittersweet)<br/>c) How Hyunjin met Chan, and why he is a “disabled” vampire (angsty)<br/>d) None of these, just want the main plot ಠ_ಠ</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Reprieve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>At the end of the last chapter I asked what people would like to read about in the near future. The clear winner of the three options was Chan and Changbin's backstory and the forming of the clan, but many people also wanted just the main plot without any flashbacks.</p><p>So, as a nice little compromise, this chapter (11) is all main plot, and the next one (12) will focus on the past. The rest of the backstories will be explored later on in the story, but they have less priority for now :)</p><p>Enjoy this little mess of a chapter! I had to listen to lots of Blackpink and Big Bang to get myself into a suitably aggressive mood...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Footsteps echo down the stairs in a rapid pattern. Chan lifts his head from his stupid papers to listen to the strange noise. They're the heavy and irregular steps of a carelessly moving human, but Chan can hear Jisung talking in the kitchen, and Felix should still be with Changbin –</p><p>Felix barges in at that exact moment without a single knock. He seems to catch himself then, eyes flicking from side to side in a wild pattern to evade Chan’s confused stare.</p><p>”I did something,” Felix cries out. His face is red in the centre and drained of colour everywhere else, giving him an uncharacteristically blotchy and dishevelled appearance.</p><p>Chan rises to his feet, alarmed, ready to offer comfort or support or whatever is needed from him.</p><p>Felix sucks in a sharp breath. ”I thought it was <em>obvious</em>, I thought the two of you had some kind of arrangement, and I only brought it up because I was scared I was coming between you. I don’t know how the vampire way of things differs from how humans do it, because no one has told me anything.”</p><p>A string of questions rolls off Chan’s tongue before he can analyse Felix’s words further. ”What do you mean by ‘arrangement’? Did something happen? Did Bin say something upsetting to you?”</p><p>Chan drops the pen he was holding in his hand onto a pile of his business documents, and a little bit of ink leaks out on the topmost form. It happens to be about the property in Sydney; despite all that happened Chan is now the legal owner, and he has to get the paperwork in order. He quickly pushes the pen on top of the line with Lee Sangtae’s ugly signature so that Felix doesn't have to see it by accident.   </p><p>Felix throws his arms up in frustration at Chan’s litany of questions, and for a second his belly button is visible under his purple sweater.</p><p>“I don’t know the correct terminology in any language,” Felix says with a worried expression. “You know, some kind of vampire marriage I guess.”</p><p>Chan’s jaw drops and stays hanging pathetically like that.</p><p>Felix looks like he wants to sink through the ground.</p><p>”I guess not – that then.” Felix looks over his shoulder and then lowers his voice, but not nearly enough to prevent the others from hearing if they so wish. ”When I mentioned that you like him and asked if you are with him, he went all –“ Felix bites his lower lip, hard. “You know, I’m just confused,” he mumbles.</p><p>Chan’s knees buckle, and it feels like someone has poked his lungs full of holes so that he can’t push any air though his vocal cords. And thus he’s unable to prevent Felix from talking on.</p><p>”Not that it’s my place to know every little detail but, considering what happened between us recently, you know –”</p><p>Chan needs to open the curtains now. He’s not sure of the exact time, but with some luck there would be enough sunlight to burn him to ashes before Felix can finish the sentence he has left hanging in the air.</p><p>It’s the only option, really.</p><p>It’s not like he can face Changbin ever again.</p><p>Felix attempts a smile, but it falters as soon as Chan’s own lips curl down into a cruel frown of despair. It turns into a grimace sour enough to match Chan’s own, and Felix’s scent becomes earthy in a bad way, like strawberries that have become mouldy from too much rainfall. He has never smelled anything like that from the human, so it takes a few seconds to pinpoint the correct emotion. It’s disappointment with a sliver of anger.</p><p>“Don’t say you’re going to act like this, too?” Felix grits through his teeth.</p><p>Chan whimpers pathetically. “Act like what?”</p><p>“Like – like I’m somehow the crazy one for having this concern. For wanting to know what kind of relationship you two have before throwing myself at, at – all this,” Felix finishes with a vague gesture that points at nothing specifically.</p><p>It’s as if he knows about the fact that everything in the house could be his, too, if he so wished. He could have Chan for as long as wanted, he could have Changbin as well for that matter – hell – Changbin seems completely infatuated by Felix already. Even the other members fought tooth and nail to get Felix back in one piece despite having no prior attachment to the human.  </p><p>Felix raises his eyebrows, little fists clenching around the too-long sleeves of his sweater. “Are you going to call me crazy or are you going to own up to it while looking straight into my eyes, hmm?” Even if Felix isn’t yet aware of his position as a full clan member, he sure seems to know how he has everyone wrapped around his tiny pinkie, and much worse – he’s completely unashamed to use that power.</p><p>Felix’s eyes are glossy yet sharp with ire. Meeting them makes a blindingly hot flame lick its way up Chan’s spine vertebra by vertebra. Chan’s thoughts quickly spiral into panicked disarray, and a terrifyingly vivid image of him and Changbin on their knees for Felix pops into his head, uninvited.</p><p>”Please, Felix I beg you, just drop the subject,” Chan pleads. He would be blushing furiously if his body was still capable such a humane reaction.</p><p>”You don’t want to hear first what hyung said to me?”</p><p>Chan feels faint. There are only bad possibilities, only terrible outcomes to the conversation.</p><p>“Oops, I changed my mind,” Felix quickly says with a crooked smile tugging at the left corner of his mouth. “You need to go to him yourself if you want an answer. I’m not saying that Changbin hyung is faring any better than you, but he can’t exactly skip downstairs to have a chat over a cup of blood or whatever disgusting concoctions you drink around the house when I’m not here to lie under you.”</p><p>Felix scrunches his nose at his own words as if he regrets them immediately. His eyes trail away to Chan’s bookcase.</p><p>”Did you regret it?” he suddenly asks, refusing to meet Chan’s eyes.</p><p>”Regret what now? Making a complete fool out of myself?” Chan nearly shouts. He shouldn’t yell at Felix.</p><p>Felix flinches at the increase in volume, and he puts one foot forward in defence. His scent blooms saccharine again, but the undertone of dirt lingers right beneath.</p><p>”I’m talking about the kiss, do you regret it?” Felix corrects, voice low.</p><p>Chan’s brain switches off, and with that the remnants of his common sense. ”How could I ever regret something I wanted so fucking bad? How can you even think that way?”</p><p>”How can I think that way?” Felix repeats, and his voice is so loud that even Changbin upstairs must hear it word for word. ”You keep tiptoeing around me like I’m some kind of broken doll. I don’t know what kind of sad circus you’ve been running with Changbin hyung all these years, but I’m not going to sit prettily and wait that maybe one day you’ll allow a fucking peck on the cheek.”</p><p>It’s almost miraculous that the Felix in front of him is the same person who whined when Chan accidentally poked him in the cheek with chopsticks, the same man who giggled when Changbin called his nose cute. But the very man is standing completely still apart from the audible panting which exposes the pink tip of his velvety tongue.</p><p>It taunts Chan. It haunts him.</p><p>Felix licks his lips, a quick and wet flick, and then nearly smiles. It’s a bratty and knowing smile. ”For your information, I’m pushing your buttons to get some kind of reaction out of you.”</p><p>It would be quite easy to vault over his desk and make Felix shut up. In fact, Chan is already leaning his upper body over the smooth surface, fangs tingling as he studies Felix’s features contorted in anger and irritation.</p><p>Felix turns on his heels like a scarecrow swaying in the wind, and without warning he yanks the door wide open, which means they now have a clear line of sight to the living room across the hall. The whole clan except for poor Changbin is sitting on the two sofas like living statues. As usual, Minho has Jisung glued to his side, and the two are looking at each other with their jaws slack and eyes round. Seungmin is leaning against the couch cushions with his ankles crossed to imitate a casual lounging position, but his brows are knitted together so tightly that they are one long line. Hyunjin, who is still too young to control his emotions, has his fangs fully out from the tension, chafing his lower lip and perhaps drawing a bit of blood judging by the spike of iron in the air.</p><p>“Did any of that come to you as a great surprise?” Felix asks with a heavy sigh. Chan hates that he can’t see his face anymore, but his voice is thick with sarcasm.</p><p>Multiple pairs of eyes are searching Chan’s face to see if they’re about to get murdered for eavesdropping. No one dares react to Felix’s words, so it seems they still have a fraction of respect left for their leader – not that Chan particularly deserves it. Well except for Minho, whose whole body is shaking with a silent laughter, tiny gasps of air escaping his lungs every few seconds. Jisung is staring at his vampire with frightened eyes.</p><p>Felix turns his head to face Chan again.</p><p>”I wanted to do this the adult way and talk everything through, but instead you two very much grown-up vampires want to act like teenagers.” Felix shakes his head a bit. “Have it your way. I’m able to do petty, too, as you very well can see.”</p><p>“Felix, in the first place, how did you even –?” Chan wants to ask how Felix knew, how he could have possibly known, but the words won’t come out of his mouth, and Felix flat-out ignores his failed attempt.</p><p>”I’ve been through so much shit these past few da– no, scrap that – past few <em>years</em> is much more accurate. I refuse to take extra crap from you two on top of that, because I’m not an emotional masochist.” Felix stares him down over his shoulder, teeth gleaming like vampire’s fangs and eyes so dark that there isn’t even a hint of irises left.</p><p>“I’m going to my room now,” Felix announces with a curt nod. “I was going to say that I need time to think, but I think it’s you, hyung, who needs a timeout.”</p><p>It’s a reversed walk of shame in a way, with the clan following him with their collective gaze of pure awe. Felix holds his head high, and Chan deservedly feels like the epitome of incompetence.</p><p>Felix is not only intelligent, but he’s also a fierce creature, Chan realises. Not one to tame, not one to shape and mould in any tangible way. The Lees couldn’t do it by raising him under their strict rule. The Parks couldn’t do it by fear and the threat of violence. Chan sure as all hell couldn’t sway him in any direction.</p><p>And that’s why he’s hopelessly falling for him.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix knows there’s once again some kind of vampire protocol at play here, something he doesn’t quite understand, and also something no one is willing to explain to him. In the light of recent events Felix has come to hate being left in the dark.</p><p>Therefore it’s easy and justified in a twisted sense to get so angry at Chan who has been nothing but kind to him. Of course, deep down he’s mostly angry at himself for falling into a web of tangled emotions so carelessly. He has become irreversably spoiled in a few short days, having come to expect to be fed and bathed and cared for in a way no one has ever cared for him in his life. Having the undivided attention of the two vampires has lulled him into assuming things about their feelings, feelings that go way beyond sexual attraction or platonic caretaking. The things that are out of his control, such as the feelings of others, are spiralling him into an equally uncontrollable emotion, which merely happens to be anger.</p><p>Felix was raised under a bell jar, without any real control or autonomy. He was kidnapped and held against his will after he was deemed a valuable asset. He likes two ancient creatures and can’t do anything to make them like him back. Just three everyday struggles of a person in their early twenties.</p><p>The thought is so absurd that his rage starts to simmer down. Soon, Felix feels the ghost of guilt hovering its cold hand over his heart. Changbin doesn’t deserve to be dragged into their lovers’ spat, not when he still has one foot in the grave and while he’s unable to stand up for himself, figuratively and quite literally as well.</p><p>Felix sighs. He should’ve eaten something before making his dramatic exit. He should’ve gone to see Changbin to make sure he didn’t try to get up and end up bleeding out on the bedroom floor. There’re are lot of shoulds and ifs, but Felix feels drained from being up on his feet for the first time in days. His eyelids are heavy with exhaustion and the dregs of his emotional overload.</p><p>In what feels like no more than a few minutes, his eyes start to fall shut. Felix is drifting into a restless dream where Chan is telling Felix to go back home and live with his father again, and Changbin suggests that Felix should jump into the West Sea and turn into sea foam so that he could live happily ever after with Chan.</p><p>A well-timed knock on his door jolts him back to full awareness, and Felix notices his skin is slick and sticky with sweat. The sweatshirt he’s wearing clings disgustingly to his spine. The knock is demanding, so he expects it to be Jisung fishing for gossip.</p><p>“I’m not in the mood to talk, Sungie,” Felix calls out. His mouth feels dry from dozing off.</p><p>“It’s Chan.”</p><p>Felix sits up on the bed so quickly that the mattress bounces. He tries to get his eyes to focus.</p><p>“May I step in for a moment?”</p><p>“Uhh –“ Felix glances around him. The room is empty and neat because he hasn’t slept there in days. He doesn’t know why it matters to him, but it still comes as a relief.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>Chan pushes the door ajar, and a stripe of light spills onto the floor. Even with the light hitting his back, Chan looks painfully handsome in a white dress shirt with rolled up sleeves. It makes his skin appear even more washed out against the fabric, but in a hot Greek statue kind of way. His expression is neutral and eyes alert, thoughtful.</p><p>Multiple questions burn on his tongue, but Felix stays silent.</p><p>“I didn’t have the courage to go to Changbin yet,” the vampire states in a flat tone.</p><p>It’s the same transparency Felix has noticed before. The way Chan cannot be anything but himself, can’t hide behind masks and emotions like Felix can way too easily. It makes him want to grab the vampire by the ears and shake, just to see if anything rattles out of place, if there’s anything more to Chan, any dark secrets repressed after living for so many years beyond a regular lifespan. Felix wonders if Chan can recall his whole life as a pearl string of choices and consequences of those choices, bigger and smaller, slightly different shades of white like little stains in his moral code or ethos or whatever he lives by.</p><p>He also wonders what kind of choice Felix is for him, what kind of consequence.</p><p>“I’m not going to apologise,” Felix says quietly. “Well, I am sorry for humiliating you in front of everyone, I let myself get caught up in the heat of the moment.”</p><p>Chan steps closer. Felix is now sitting up with his back completely rigid. He doesn’t know what kind of expression he has on his face, because his mouth and cheeks are numb.</p><p>“I didn’t come for an apology. I have a different reason for this visit.”</p><p>“It’s hardly a visit seeing that this is your own house,” Felix huffs.</p><p>Surprisingly, Chan smiles. It’s not the real thing, not like when he’s truly happy and his eyes turn into tiny crescent moons. But it makes Felix’s heart flutter all the same.</p><p>“Stay,” Chan says. His voice is steady.</p><p>Felix blinks a few times, considering the sudden change in the atmosphere. He scoots over to the end of the bed and raises to a kneeling position to meet Chan’s eyes better.</p><p>Chan meets his eyes without fear, without hesitation. “I’m a fucking failure. I have known Changbin for over two centuries and been in love with him for the better part of that. I have nothing to prove my worth to you, but you make me so weak and selfish. Please, stay.”</p><p>“Why are you asking me to stay? I’m wearing ridiculously pink socks and a pair of sweatpants that aren’t mine. Do I look like I’m running back to Australia any time soon?”</p><p>Felix raises a hand to his cheek like he could rub the bubbling emotions off his face in advance. “The more time I spend here, the more selfish I get myself, the greedier I become.”</p><p>Felix briefly thinks about the stupid fantasies he has had, about Changbin pulling him into his strong arms and tucking Felix’s head under his own chin, while Chan would stroke his back and kiss his neck right where his pulse flutters.  </p><p>The fantasies never end there, either.</p><p>And Chan is the one to call himself selfish.</p><p>“So – you’ll stay?” Chan blinks, his vocabulary reduced down to one phrase. There’s a hint of pain on Chan’s face, and Felix wants to make it go away.</p><p>“If I do, will you kiss me? You said you didn’t exactly regret the first time.”</p><p>“Yes,” Chan simply says.</p><p>As though to give his permission, Felix spreads his arms wide. Chan opens his mouth at the clear invitation, and Felix can see a beautifully feral pair of fangs extending before his eyes. Felix shivers knowing how they feel on his skin, how sharp they are under his tongue as they kiss.</p><p>Felix’s gesture seems to splinter the last bits of Chan’s self-restraint, and the vampire teleports in front of him in a blur, so close that the tips of their noses are grazing each other as Chan crouches down to Felix’s level.</p><p>Before he can react in any way, Chan grabs Felix at the waist and lifts him up from the bed like gravity is a joke to him. Chan takes a few easy steps, and then Felix’s shoulder blades hit something behind him, firmly pinned between wall and vampire.</p><p>Losing control to Chan like that is so much more than Felix could’ve imagined in his wildest daydreams. The vampire has his hands are everywhere at the same time, circling his waist in a tight, bruising grip, trailing down the bumps of his spine and over his tailbone, sliding lower to his backside to offer more support. Every touch is a combination of sensual and wanting, born out of pure need.</p><p>Chan has stopped stifling his growls, stopped holding back. Felix has a strong urge to bare his throat in some primal exhibition of submission, but he settles for tilting his head back a little so that their mouths are perfectly aligned. Chan seems to appreciate the gesture as he strokes the taut line of his throat with the soft pad of his thumb. The motion feels like a combination of the vampire’s bloodlust and his yearning for Felix on other levels. He also seems to be completely capable of holding Felix up against the wall with only one hand and the weight of his body, and the thought of being that small and light makes Felix heady with arousal.</p><p>Chan presses their lips together just as a whine is rolling up from from the back of Felix's throat, and the sound dies out against Chan, turning into a tiny huff of approval.</p><p>The kiss starts out as incredibly soft. It’s a gentle nip of teeth, the hint of Felix’s own toothpaste. But everything around the simple touch of lips on lips is an inferno of thoughts and sensations. Felix’s legs dangling around Chan’s hips, completely useless. The cool wall against his back and the little moans Chan lets out when Felix pulls away for a quick breath. It’s so different from their last kiss, too. The don’t fight for power or dominance over the other, there’s no need. Physically Chan is much stronger, but mentally they are completely level in that moment. Felix feels safe and warm in his cold arms.</p><p>As Felix opens his mouth to allow Chan deeper, the vampire starts murmuring painful words against his lips. “It killed me Felix, when you went missing. It <em>killed</em> me.”</p><p>“I’m here now,” he murmurs back and chases the kiss by craning his neck forward, trying to lure Chan in. It works, as the kiss turns more heated, into teeth and fangs and sticky wetness that is somehow hot despite a drop of drool running down Felix’s chin.</p><p>Chan’s hand moves slowly to the collar of Felix’s shirt. The vampire mouths a silent “can I” against Felix’s spit-slicked lips, to which Felix answers by nodding his head so eagerly that his tongue slips just enough to prick against the tip of Chan’s fang. For a second Chan tenses up at what is most likely a droplet of blood. Chan's tongue rubs over the stinging spot at the tip of his own, and then the vampire swallows greedily. Felix feels the faint buzz of venom in his blood stream, but it’s not nearly enough to make him lose focus.</p><p>Chan pulls away for a moment to study Felix’s face. He seems to come to the same conclusion. Felix smiles and sticks his tongue out, showing off his tiny wound like bait.</p><p>It has the desired effect, as the vampire grumbles deep in his chest and goes back to pulling at Felix’s shirt, stretching it down until Felix’s collarbones are exposed. Chan leaves a trails of kisses down the side of Felix’s neck, going over the already healed bite and latching his mouth just below it. The open-mouthed kisses quickly turn into a dangerous scrape of teeth, never breaking skin but enough to send tiny pricks of pain surging through Felix’s body, like boiling petrol being poured into his veins. Chan feels so cold against his skin that his senses are getting confused, turning the touch into a burning sensation instead.</p><p>Chan marking his neck and chest feels so good that Felix cries out, much more loudly than before, and Chan’s hand shoots up to cover his mouth with a wide palm which tastes faintly of salt. The vampire goes about his ministrations, and Felix’s eyes roll back in his head, because it’s way too much when he can’t even cry and writhe as he pleases. He’s also painfully hard, but apart from tiny jerks of his hips against Chan’s middle, he can’t do anything to get much needed friction.</p><p>After a particularly hard nip over Felix’s collarbone, Chan raises his head back up to look Felix straight in the eye. He lowers the hand as well, and Felix sucks in a large breath on instinct.</p><p>“I was <em>this</em> close to asking if I could carry you back to the bed, but we should probably stop here for now,” Chan says with his eyes dark and voice hoarse.</p><p>“I would’ve probably said yes,” Felix admits, but he’s also nodding in agreement.</p><p>“We should, uhh,” Chan starts and then seems to realise that Felix is still hoisted up against the wall.</p><p>“Put me down?” Felix suggests with a breathy laugh.</p><p>“Probably should,” he says but does nothing to release his grip on Felix.</p><p>“I won’t run away, I promise.” Or perhaps he might run to the bathroom to jerk off, but Chan doesn’t need to know that.</p><p>“This is a real mess, isn’t it?” Chan muses, and for a second Felix actually thinks he has managed to come in his pants after all.</p><p>Felix knows he is going beet red, he can see the curious expression on Chan’s face.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s a real – mess,” Felix stutters, trying to hold in his laughter of gut-twisting embarrassment.</p><p>Perhaps – just maybe – they'll work this out, somehow.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to give Chan some kind of A For Effort award.</p><p>Also, poor Binnie is still bedridden, but he has to put up with Chanlix bickering like a married couple and then dryhumping against the wall... I kinda want to laugh but feel bad at the same time.</p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you'd like to be internet friends!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I present you this fragmentary collection of flashbacks. There's some violence here, but nothing especially graphic. Only Chan being the good man he is.</p><p>Most of these terms you're probably familiar with, but you can refer to this list if something confuses you:</p><p>Gat (갓) is the black pointy hat upper-class men wore in the Joseon period.<br/>Hanyang (한양) was the name of Seoul during the Joseon period. During Japanese occupation, the name was changed to Gyeongseong (경성)<br/>The river that separates human world and the afterlife is called Samdocheon (삼도천).<br/>Bang (방) means room in Korean.<br/>Hanja (한자) is what Chinese characters are called in Korean.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>1797, Hanyang, Joseon</strong>
</p><p>The year 1797 marks Chan’s one hundredth year on earth, seventy-seven years after his actual death. It’s more of the same in Joseon. The roads still turn muddy when it rains, and a hefty bribe can get one far in life. Nobles are nobles and slaves are slaves, and then there’s Chan, a vampire with a past of broken promises and lost love, no longer a part of the social pyramid he once was at the very bottom of. He’s a lone wanderer who never strays far from his birthplace as he finds comfort in the bustle of the big city.</p><p>Because of the simple fact that it opens more doors for him, Chan usually acts the role of a noble, nose high and eyes downcast, expensive robes glittering as he passes by the crowds of peasants. He likes to make up stories about how he’s personal friends with King Jeongjo, or how he’s the Royal Doctor who’s specialised in letting blood by acupuncture, or how he’s a scholar who writes poetry about the virtues of the human nature. Women and men alike fall for his ruses with embarrassing ease, and Chan can drink his fill whenever he wants to. Sometimes it gets boring and lonely, and Chan takes a human to his bed, a human who will eventually get frightened and leave with their neck bleeding all over the sheets.</p><p>Tonight Chan is feeling the itch of the hunt beneath his skin, his senses heightened and his instincts leading him up a small alley, following a pleasant scent with a hint of vanilla and pear. It’s a young female, healthier than most people, and Chan’s mouth waters. The scent disappears into a dimly-lit tavern, and Chan follows his nose without a second thought.</p><p>It turns out that the sweet human scent was masking another, much more alarming presence. A vampire he has never seen or smelled before. The vanilla girl long forgotten, Chan lurks closer to the other vampire who is sitting on the floor with an untouched bowl of drink in front of him. A strong, masculine jaw clenched shut, shoulders tense. He has sensed Chan’s presence as well.</p><p>The stranger is wearing the usual attire of a nobleman – an indigo blue hanbok cinched tight with a red sash just below the neckline. His gat sits a bit crooked on his head with the strap that should wrap under his chin hanging loose over his ears. There’s a streak of human blood on the white part of his garments, nearly hidden in the folds of the fabric, but the scent is fresh and distinct to Chan’s sensitive nose.</p><p>Chan turns away for a second to order a cup of makgeolli for himself. He then walks up to the stranger, trying to appear relaxed and confident. The other vampire raises his head at the sound of the ceramic bowl clanking against the wooden table, milky white liquid sloshing against the sides. Chan gets a bit of alcohol on his fingers, too, but he decides against wiping them clean on his clothes.</p><p>The vampire’s eyes follow Chan closely as he lowers himself to the floor. He looks wary and tired, but his cheeks glow from the recent feeding.</p><p>“Cherry blossom, what an interesting flavour profile. Did you kill the man?” Chan asks.</p><p>The vampire huffs some air out and pretends to take a sip of his drink.</p><p>“I do not take pleasure in killing. But I am not above borrowing their earthly possessions from time to time,” he answers.</p><p>Chan sighs. “You could at least fix your hair before cramming your head into a nobleman’s gat.”</p><p>“Is it that bad?” he asks, eyes trailing up to glance at the black brim of his headdress. The bun on top of his head is an untidy mess, and it’s tilting the whole gat to the side.</p><p>Chan scoffs and refuses to answer. “You aren’t from around here, I assume. I know everyone in the capital area.”</p><p>The vampire smirks. “I migrated from the south. I’m originally from Gyeonggi, but I heard from a traveller that it’s easier to get away with murder in Hanyang. More people, you see.”</p><p>“And – who are you here to murder?”</p><p>“Oh, but why would I ever tell you, stranger?” There’s something honeyed and dangerous in the vampire’s voice, but for an inexplicable reason Chan doesn’t feel particularly threatened.</p><p>He drags his makgeolli-coated fingers against the surface of the table, trying to come up with something to say. He’s talking to someone who is planning a murder but doesn’t enjoy killing. What can one even say to that?</p><p>“I’m Chan. I hunt without a clan,” he eventually blurts out.  </p><p>“You don’t have a family name either,” the vampire notes dryly. “But it’s Changbin. Pleasure to meet you I guess.”</p><p>Chan takes a look at his own clothes, expensive but slightly worn out from years of constant use. “That is correct, Changbin, but I do hide the fact much better than you.”</p><p>Changbin laughs at that, and Chan can see a row of perfectly white and even teeth. No fangs in sight.</p><p>“Good for you, then. I hate these clothes, and the stench of makgeolli makes me want to gag,” Changbin says with his eyes glimmering. The vampire has a strange aura of calm amusement around him. As if he has simply stopped caring at some point and never regained his will to live the morally questionable existence of a vampire to its fullest. He’s not a young vampire by Chan’s estimate, but perhaps a few decades younger than Chan himself.</p><p>As Changbin eyes Chan up and down like he’s wondering if he could take him down in a fistfight, Chan decides to take the multiple baits hanging in front of him. “Does your feeble nobleman façade get you closer to your target, if you’re willing to put up with drunk humans?”</p><p>“Hmm,” Changbin simply says as he reaches for the bowl again. He hasn’t swallowed a single drop of his drink.</p><p>Changbin has beautiful hands, Chan notices. Not the hands of a cruel murderer but ones capable of subtle sensuality. The vampire curls his fingers elegantly around the glazed ceramic before placing the drink exactly where it was before.</p><p>As before, Chan speaks before thinking. “You could come to my lair to spend the day, in case you haven’t found a resting place yet. My home is much too large for me alone.”</p><p>“Why are you –“ Changbin starts with a frown “– ah, you’re quite blunt I must say. Shouldn’t you lie with some human instead and feed at the same time? You look hungry.”</p><p>Chan starts shaking his head, but Changbin isn’t finished.</p><p>“I don’t know why you would approach me with this. If your tastes are unusual like uhh – <em>that</em> kind of thing, then –“ the vampire’s frown deepens considerably, and Chan realises Changbin’s thoughts have trailed straight to cannibalism.</p><p>Panic swells inside Chan, and he nearly pushes his palm up against Changbin’s mouth to prevent him from talking but doing that could make him lose a few fingers. Instead, he pleads with his eyes for Changbin to drop his sentence.</p><p>“I definitely don’t drink v–vampire blood, and I’m <em>definitely</em> not asking you to share my bed. I was merely offering shelter for a weary traveller –” Chan’s voice booms louder than he thought, and the two of them get a few sideways glances from intoxicated patrons around them.</p><p>“Okay, okay. I get it,” Changbin says with a smirk as he stands up. “I get that you don’t want me. But let’s go, show me that lair of yours.”</p><p>Chan can only follow the vampire outside as his stilled heart sloshes against the walls of his chest cavity. They walk the streets side by side at an agonisingly human pace. Changbin is a bit shorter than Chan, but his body is well-built. He has had to do some sort of physical labour when he was still alive. The stolen hanbok is too short for him and way too tight at the shoulders, but he’s seemingly unbothered by the fact. He doesn’t care.</p><p>“You don’t care, do you?” Chan says, as if he has no filter between his brain and vocal cords.</p><p>Changbin grins, and his eyes gleam in the moonlight as he looks at Chan. “Sometimes I do find it hard, yes.”</p><p>Chan nods with his lips pressed together to prevent more words from spilling out.</p><p>They arrive at Chan’s lair shortly, surrounded by heavy silence and the smell of dirty dishwater someone has poured right next to the door. Changbin looks almost ethereal in the middle of all the murk and grime with his bright eyes and vibrant clothes. He takes of his gat and drops it in the puddle of dirty water with a sigh of contentment. Then he pulls on his loosely tied bun until his hair falls freely over his shoulders. The moon is bright, and Changbin’s hair is thick and glossy under its pale glow.</p><p>Chan is screwed. “Maybe – maybe I could help with your problem,” he says in a small voice of defeat.</p><p>“For some reason, you don’t seem like the type to kill humans,” Changbin chuckles, tilting his head so that a lock of black hair falls over one eye.</p><p>“Neither do you,” Chan breathes out. He unlocks the door with an old key, and they step into the dark space, a townhouse of sorts between a tailor and a doctor’s office. It has all the windows nailed shut, and to outside eyes it looks like a regular storage space. Chan goes to light up a single candle, and when he turns around again, Changbin’s face looks magical in the warm glow, his dark eyes glittering under thick lashes, his shoulders rising and falling as he breathes in the scent of Chan’s home, the scent of Chan.</p><p>“In that case,” the vampire starts in a steady voice, “would you be interested in helping me commit patricide?”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Chan may never know what made him invite Changbin to his home that fateful night. Perhaps it was pity toward a lost traveller, or maybe it was love at first sight. In the end, the reason matters little as Changbin becomes a steady fixture in Chan’s life either way.</p><p>It takes them a few moons to track down Changbin’s human father and plan for his murder. Against all odds, the man has lived to almost ninety years old, and he owns houses both in Hanyang and Changbin’s hometown of Yongin.</p><p>There’s a sinister reason behind his personal wealth, though. He happened to sell his own son to a vampire lord in order to climb up the ranks of society. The vampire paid the man a hefty sum for Changbin and helped him fabricate the identity of a noble. After Changbin was turned, he attacked his maker and stabbed him to death with a bamboo flute. Changbin told Chan his story with a straight face on their first night together, and Chan agreed to help with his scheme.</p><p>Changbin wants to prevent his father from having a peaceful death, just like his father took the chance of it from him. He wants the man humiliated and begging for mercy. Chan wants to give him the man’s head on a platter.</p><p>They surprise Changbin’s father at his own house midst silk and jewels and gems, and they paint his extravagantly pathetic existence in red from his arteries, noxious red which neither vampire wants to contaminate their body with, so they leave the blood in puddles instead of consuming it.  </p><p>The man is on his knees at the end, gurgling from a puncture in his left lung, and yet he has the audacity to meet the eyes of his only son, the son who has remained untouched by time all the years they’ve been apart while the father has shrivelled away into a thin coat of skin over a skeleton of fragile bones.</p><p>And Changbin crumbles under the gaze of regret, falling to the ground in a pool of blood that smells like water lilies and impending death. The blood of his family.</p><p>He turns to look at Chan to escape the gaze of a fallen monster. “Kill him for me and you’ll have me. Kill him, Chan.”</p><p>Chan wonders if Changbin used to smell clean and fresh, too. He wonders if he would’ve loved Changbin’s scent, if they would have been good companions for each other.</p><p>Lost in his thoughts, Chan steps behind the kneeling man and puts his hands around his thin neck. He gets a low wail in response as the man realises his fate, not wanting to go even when he has led a life of undeserved luxury. There’s only one, clean crunch and it’s over.</p><p>“May you never find safe passage over the Samdocheon,” Chan wishes quietly.</p><p>Changbin raises to his feet after a while, blinking a few tears away. He hauls the lifeless body to his arms and carries his father outside into the garden, where they bury him in silence and without the proper rites.</p><p>Changbin keeps looking at Chan as they walk back to the lair that has quickly become theirs instead of Chan’s. They have splatters of blood all over their clothes, fangs peeking out from the heady rush of violence and the smell of lilies, and Chan has the urge to kiss Changbin in that moment, if only to offer some condolence, but that would be highly inappropriate when they are both still high on taking a life.</p><p>He always finds excuses like that.</p><p>“Chan, what do I do now?”</p><p>Chan glances at the vampire and sees the reflection of his own youth in Changbin’s unsure eyes. “We’ll figure it out. But for now, you should call me hyungnim. From this point onward, we will hunt and feed and fight as brothers.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>1821, Hanyang, Joseon</strong>
</p><p>A few decades after meeting Changbin, Chan ends up turning his first human, a man named Lee Minho. Minho is a nobleman’s son who got into the bad graces of his family after getting caught drinking in public, singing and dancing and being unusually touchy with his male servant.</p><p>Chan and Changbin are hunting on the outskirts of Hanyang when they encounter him for the first time. The human is walking down the street with a wonky gait, drunk out of his mind and shouting at the top of his lungs how he wants to become a singer, “because fuck parents and fuck their expectations.”</p><p>The two vampires smoothly approach him with sweet promises of more alcohol and a good time, and they lure him around the corner into an alleyway where both of them drink a few mouthful of blood saturated with ethanol. The man tastes like a delicious combination of mint and soju, and he goes pliant in their arms as soon as Chan’s potent venom mixes with the intoxication caused by alcohol.</p><p>The next night, when Chan and Changbin are preparing to return to their lair back in town, they find the same man lying in the gutter, badly beaten. His breath wheezes in his throat as he speaks, his own tongue colouring the inside of his mouth bright crimson, but he manages to explain that his parents withheld his monthly allowance to straighten him out, and that’s why he couldn’t pay off his debts when some thugs came asking.</p><p>It’s a decisive moment in Chan’s life, or that’s how he later comes to consider it. The human begs for his life, begs for help from two pale omens of death, and Chan has to decide if a man who has led a lavish and hedonistic life deserves a second chance.</p><p>If anyone deserves one for that matter.</p><p>Changbin lifts the man’s head to examine his injuries, cradling his broken body in his arms with surprising care. He says he can smell blood pooling under his skull and that the human’s time is growing short.</p><p>“I don’t want to die,” the human pleads with tears in his eyes, as his vision grows dim. “I can’t see the stars anymore. I don’t want to die.”</p><p>Chan decides to be judge and executioner, and he turns Minho into a vampire who is stripped of the luxuries of nobility, his status as an aristocrat. His parents mourn him and then forget about him, as Minho’s cousin fills his spot as the heir.</p><p>It takes the baby vampire nearly two years to get his impulses under control. Before that he manages to kill two innocent people and injure many others. Guilt gnaws Chan’s insides as he tries to teach the ways of immortal life to a new-born who has to bite his own arms to stop himself from killing. In those moments of desperation Chan is swallowed by his regret, and he makes a decision not to play the role of a minor god again. He decides that human life and death are above him, above his life-giving blood that can move through a body without the need for a heartbeat. Changbin agrees with his rationale. He says he thinks that Minho’s struggles are actually a punishment for them, for meddling with human affairs.  </p><p>But not once does Minho’s loyalty toward Chan falter. The vampire observes his family from afar with mild resentment, but he never voices his concerns, never acts like he’s ungrateful or bitter toward the older vampires. Not once does he give up. In time, Minho starts to show exceptional talents at tracking and finding things, and his superior sense of hearing and smell save them from many tight spots as the city starts filling with vampires lured in by the masses of people.    </p><p>Minho also becomes their closest friend, the only one who’s able to keep Chan and Changbin from quarrelling too much, someone they can share their joys and sorrows with. The young vampire has the face suited for a painting, all clear lines and beautifully shaped eyes, but Chan never comes to desire him the way he desires Changbin. They’re simply content sharing their sleeping space and protecting each other from the sun and hostile vampires.</p><p>At some point they start calling their little trio a clan. It’s for fun at first as a clan of three members is almost unheard of. Usually vampires gather in large numbers to ensure their hold over a territory.</p><p>The Bang clan, they call it. Their own little room in the rapidly changing city of Hanyang, a room that radiates safety and warmth and acceptance. It’s a clan with a strong leader and a bond etched in their souls and sealed with something much thicker than blood – love.</p><p>Chan adopts the name shortly after, mainly because the others think he is that room of solace personified. And so he becomes Bang Chan.</p><p>Even though the origins of the name are silly, the first time he signs a document with the chosen hanja, he bursts into tears of joy and embarrassment like a small child, thinking about just how much he likes <em>having</em> his very own name.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>1920, Gyeongseong, Joseon under Japanese rule</strong>
</p><p>The 20th century doesn’t treat Joseon well, as it brings about a time of violence and unrest, and it’s harder than ever to adhere to the rule of not saving people who are too far gone to cure with human medicine. The Bangs try their best to stay away from the conflict, knowing very well that their physical strength would cause more harm than good if used against humans, but even then, even after being born into slavery and witnessing human greed and the problems in their society first-hand, Chan keeps wishing for Joseon to be free once more.</p><p>With cities growing larger in size, vampires can blend into the shadows better than before, and people are starting to forget that they even exist. Vampires turn into old women’s’ tales and bedtime stories for unruly children, and then into sexualised fantasies for authors who want to publish homoerotic literature regardless of strict censorship. As a joke, Changbin purchases a copy of ‘Dracula’ from a western merchant and gifts it to Chan, kindling his love for inaccurate depictions of his species. Chan even starts learning English to satisfy his ever growing curiosity.</p><p>With freedom of speech long gone, there’s still a mysterious entity running an underground newspaper somewhere in the capital. Time and time again the editor evades capture while the authorities raid private homes and businesses with increasing desperation. The journalist works in the dark of night, and the papers are always distributed all across the city come morning. People say it’s eerie how the rogue journalist is never seen interviewing people on the streets, never caught red-handed delivering newspapers to be sold under the counter, but somehow the new editions are filled to the brim with unbiased and accurate information. The newspaper ‘Voice of Joseon’ quickly gains people’s hearts, and the mysterious person behind the endeavour is dubbed ‘Ghost of Joseon’ by the readers.</p><p>In addition to all the shit going on in his dear homeland, Chan is pissed off for personal reasons. He’s walking back home from the usual restaurant where he gets his human business partners drunk, but this time glib phrases and free-flowing alcohol haven’t worked in his favour. Chan almost had the Australian for dinner in petty revenge for ripping him off, thinking about how his eyes would bulge out in fear at the first sight of fangs, about how he could intentionally make it hurt.</p><p>Oblivious to his violent thoughts, the businessman kept drinking soju at Chan’s expense all the while lying through his teeth about “getting the money eventually”. Chan reluctantly decided his doughy neck wasn’t worth dulling his fangs on and left after settling the bill.</p><p>The moon is behind some thick clouds, so the streets are dark with many of the new and shiny electrical lights out of order. Chan kicks a small rock to the curb. The man even had the nerve to make fun of his hanbok and say Chan looked like a dainty woman in a dress. At least Chan learned a new English word from his drunken slurring – dickhead.</p><p>Suddenly Chan hears the faint thrum of footsteps approaching from above, from the roofs. The steps are fast and precise in the dark, the sound of an unfamiliar vampire in his home territory. Chan tenses up, ready to encounter the source of the sound. He sees the blurry shadow of a male figure on the rooftop across the street. It’s someone who’s in a great hurry.</p><p>“Stop,” Chan shouts, raising his hand.</p><p>The strange vampire halts just like that, almost tearing roof tiles off with his heels as he struggles to stop his momentum. A few pebbles slide down the sloped roof and fall to the ground below.</p><p>“A word, stranger? Come down here.” Chan lets some authority slip into his voice as a precaution, not wanting the chance meeting to turn physical in any way.</p><p>The stranger looks both ways, clearly weighing his options, but then jumps down with grace despite carrying a heavy stack of papers in his arms.</p><p>“Are you aware that this area belongs to the Bang clan?” Chan asks politely.</p><p>The other vampire slowly shakes his head. His hair is an unkept mess, falling over his ears and forehead in loose waves, and his eyes are strikingly crimson. It’s clear that he hasn’t fed properly for a long while.</p><p>Chan also takes note of his outfit. A western-style suit with a cravat and a pair of metal-framed glasses which sit low on the bridge of his nose. The lenses are tiny and smudged with grease and what looks like black ink, so he must be wearing them by force of habit.</p><p>When the vampire doesn’t answer beyond the simple gesture, Chan takes a tentative step closer. He seems young and maybe a bit feral from hunger, and Chan feels the need to calm him down as though he’s a spooked horse.</p><p>“My name is Bang Chan, and I am in charge of the small clan that resides in this part of the city. I come to you in peace.” Chan points at himself with his palms open and bares his teeth to show that his fangs aren’t out in aggression.</p><p>“I – I apologise for intruding,” the vampire says at last. He has a pleasant singsong tone to his voice, but it’s soured by the way he sounds, utterly lost and scared.</p><p>“It’s alright if you weren’t aware.”</p><p>The vampire nods and shifts his weight from side to side in a very human-like manner.</p><p>Chan frowns and then takes a good look at the intruder. The stack of papers he’s carrying is haphazardly bound together with some coarse jute rope. There are splotches of ink all over his hands, even on the white sleeves of his shirt peeking from under his jacket.</p><p>It becomes obvious, then.</p><p>“It’s you, you’re the ghost!” Chan says with a triumphant clap of his hands.</p><p>The vampire nods again, and his bangs fall over his eyes to form a thick curtain of unwashed hair.</p><p>“You are behind Voice of Joseon? Alone?” Chan asks again. He lets some awe and wonder slip through as he’s suddenly fascinated by the vampire who has given hope and encouragement to so many people, Chan himself included.</p><p>“That’s why they could never crack the operation down. They didn’t know what they were up against,” Chan continues with a wide smile.</p><p>The vampire returns Chan’s excitement with a subtle smile of his own. Even though his eyes are still hidden away, Chan can tell he’s proud of his accomplishments.</p><p>“I am – I was Kim Seungmin,” the vampire introduces himself, reaching a few ink-stained fingers to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.</p><p>“It’s an honour to meet you, really. But how come you look so famished? How old are you?”</p><p>“I am twenty-one.” Seungmin’s eyes dart to the flickering streetlight above his head and then back to Chan. The muscles in his neck keep twitching.</p><p>A smile tugs at the corners of Chan’s mouth. “I meant to ask how many years you have travelled this world.”</p><p>“I already answered the question,” the vampire says, blinking. “I think I died a few months ago. Or so it seems like. I was walking back from the university, and there was this carriage – yeah. I woke up alone with my heart –“ the vampire is silent for a heavy moment. “But I needed to finish my work, I need to tell people that they still matter. If it was my destiny to be reborn as this monster in order to make Joseon a better place, then so be it.” Seungmin raises his chin a bit, looking feral and defiant all at the same time.</p><p>It’s Chan’s turn to stare and blink with unseeing eyes.</p><p>The wild expression on the vampire’s face and the way he seems so confused by Chan’s presence make perfect sense now. His instincts must be driving him insane with the need to submit to the older vampire, but he doesn’t understand what is happening to him. He is a new-born whose maker abandoned him, an offence of the highest severity in the vampire society. The poor thing has had to survive on his own – with his thirst and his transformed body and the need to complete his life’s work even after death. It sounds overwhelming even to Chan who has been a vampire for a few centuries already.</p><p>“Have you figured out feeding yet?” Chan gently asks.</p><p>Seungmin grimaces. “It’s when I – my teeth hurt and then I can’t focus and –“ Seungmin draws a sharp breath like he’s about to cry. Chan wouldn’t blame him if he did.</p><p>Everything about the miserable situation makes his heart ache. Chan’s maker wasn’t exactly perfect, but at least he wasn’t left alone to figure out a world where the sun suddenly burned his skin and everyone around him looked and smelled like a five course meal. And yet, Seungmin is in control of himself and running a whole newspaper out of some mouldy cellar on top of that.</p><p>“You’re not a monster. You’re a vampire, Seungmin,” Chan explains in a calm voice even though there’s a storm raging inside him.</p><p>“But I always end up killing them – I don’t mean to, but I just get so fucking thirsty, and I can <em>hear</em> the blood, it sings to me,” Seungmin wails.</p><p>“I will teach you, Seungmin. I will teach you to control your instincts. We will, me and my clan. You’re not alone anymore, I promise you that.”</p><p>Seungmin seems to think about it, fingers clutching around his precious papers.</p><p>Chan knows he needs to convince him further. “I could help you with the rest of your work for the night, and then we could go meet with the rest of my clan. There’re only three of us, and I’m certain the others would like you very much. Just like me, they would think that you’re smart and brave. What do you say?”</p><p>Seungmin divides his stack in half without a word, and they speed away into the night.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Changbin and Minho look like Chan has brought them a new shiny toy when he guides the fidgety baby vampire through the door.</p><p>“Careful, he’s an orphan,” Chan mumbles under his breath, and Changbin clutches his chest in horror. Even Minho seems to understand the gravity of the situation, and he keeps any witty remarks about the newcomer’s appearance to himself.</p><p>Chan puts his hand at the nape of Seungmin’s neck and gives it a firm squeeze, because he knows that the young vampire is desperate for guidance and dominance that he has been denied of. It seems to work, as Seungmin’s breathing evens out and he lets his frantic gaze drop down to his feet. Changbin comes to them and touches his dirty hair like it’s something soft and adorable.</p><p>“Let’s get you cleaned up. Maybe give you a nice haircut, too.”</p><p>Seungmin leans back into Chan’s touch, eyes wide.</p><p>“Don’t worry. Changbin is very nice,” Chan encourages.</p><p>Changbin spreads his lips into an impossibly wide smile. “My name is Seo Changbin. I chose the surname myself, because I didn’t use to have one. That vampire over there is Lee Minho. What’s your name?”</p><p>“I was – Kim –“</p><p>Changbin tuts, reaching to press a few fingers against the baby vampire’s temple. He applies a bit of pressure as if he’s trying to find an acupuncture spot.</p><p>“Try again,” he says gently.</p><p>“I am Seungmin of the Kim family.”</p><p>“Such a smart boy,” Changbin hums, and Chan’s poor heart splits open with love.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you have seen the historical drama Mr. Sunshine, you can imagine Seungmin wearing the clothes of Kim Heesung. Highly recommend that drama btw!</p><p>I loved writing this chapter so much! Korean history is super interesting, and I tried to research things to my best ability. If you're a history buff yourself, try to be gentle with me as I had to take a few liberties with things like character names and the fact that there is this whole fantasy thing going on.</p><p>Also, someone in the comments asked me how vampires ended up revealing their existence to humans. It happened like this:</p><p>- In the 1940’s, due to WW2, blood transfusions between humans are getting more common.<br/>- Vampires get interested in the idea of blood banks and start buying blood under the counter<br/>- Officials crack down the illegal blood market<br/>- Vampires have to out themselves, laws and regulations are put in place</p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you want to yell at me for making Minho a spoiled rich kid.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Triptych</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2021, Seoul, Republic of Korea</strong>
</p><p>Chan blinks into awareness from the restlessly heavy sleep of a vampire, a dreamless plane where memories float as dark silhouettes, just out of reach.</p><p>But now that the figures of his past are gone, Chan feels incredibly alone. He finds himself lying in the middle of a king sized bed, cool sheets pressing against his skin in mockery of his solitude. If Chan listens very closely, he can hear Felix’s heart beating in the next room. It’s the tell-tale rhythm of undisturbed sleep, rhythm of safety.</p><p>Someone walks past Chan’s door in the hallway with soft, unidentifiable steps muffled by the carpet, and the footsteps come to a halt in front of Felix’s door. Chan sits up, alarmed, thinking about all the possible dangers that could face his human. He’s ready to get on his feet and beat anyone up who dares enter Felix’s sleeping space when the footsteps suddenly retreat. A grumpy-looking Minho barges through the door with so much force that the handle slams back and chips some paint off the wall.</p><p>Chan doesn’t have time to scold him beyond a quick hiss of discontentment, because Minho lunges forward and jumps on the bed at Chan’s feet. He’s wearing a white hoodie with a cartoon character on it, and Chan remembers that Minho bragged about it for days, about how he got it as a gift from his human. It’s the first time in months that he’s wearing it.</p><p>“Ttalgi is asleep, I just checked. We should have a little talk,” Minho announces.</p><p>“Not for long with you slamming doors and being a brat,” Chan mumbles. He folds his bare legs under himself to gain a few extra centimetres.</p><p>“We should still talk,” Minho repeats much more quietly.</p><p>Chan doesn’t want to talk.</p><p>Minho clicks his tongue. “Look, Changbin isn’t going to be bedridden for much longer. He’s starting to look like a pig from all that blood he’s been slurping straight out of a plastic bag like a maniac. Have you seen how pink his face is? It’s disgusting, really.”</p><p>Chan doesn’t want to think about Changbin’s rosy cheeks, either.</p><p>“What do you want to talk about?” he asks reluctantly. Chan thinks about how Minho laughed so hard at his plight that he almost fell to the floor while the others watched in horror.</p><p>Minho tilts his head, fiddling with the drawstrings of his hoodie. He’s going to make Chan work for it, in his own damn house, and Chan is going to let him.</p><p>“For how long exactly have you known?” Chan asks, utterly defeated.</p><p>Minho looks left and right in pretend search of some hazy memories from centuries back. When he focuses his eyes back on Chan’s, there’s a mix of pity and amusement swirling together at the edges of his brown irises.</p><p>“Do you remember that one time when we strayed too far into another clan’s territory and got separated after a fight. When we found Bin again holed up in that shed, you grabbed him by the ears and pressed your foreheads together. It was nothing short of the gayest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and that’s saying a lot considering how I used to be when –“</p><p>Chan raises his hand to prevent him from going on a lengthy tangent. “Wait, but you were just what, one year old at that time? The reason why Changbin was left behind was because he distracted that tall guy from going after you.”</p><p>Minho looks offended at Chan’s bewilderment. “Well yes, of course I did have my suspicions even before that, but you two cuddling on the floor midst dust and cobwebs was the definitive piece of empirical evidence I needed.”</p><p>Chan feels like punching something Minho-shaped. “And you didn’t think it necessary to tell me about your – observations?”</p><p>“I was the self-proclaimed maknae of the family at that time, remember? How could I have called out the only real authorities in my life?” Minho puffs out his cheeks in a poor baby imitation,  but he quickly becomes sombre again. “What you have to understand is that the amount of loyalty we have for you has little to no limits. And think about the amount of loyalty and dedication Bin has for you. You hold a lot of power over us, and that goes way beyond our need to use honorifics with you even after centuries together.”</p><p>“I can count with my fingers the times when you <em>haven’t</em> called me out on some crap,” Chan retorts, just to hide the way his chest has started burning at the words.</p><p>Minho brushes some thin baby hairs off his forehead. He has a sour smirk on his dusty pink lips. “I can be petty about the most trivial of things, but not where it actually matters. Besides, for a long time I was sure that you two were just dating in secret, thinking yourselves to be oh so clever. Didn’t know we would need to wait for a whole new millennium and a random human to come and knock some sense into you.”</p><p>The mention of Felix adds a sharp sting into the mix of bodily sensations Chan is going through. “Or you simply felt irresistible need to stand back and watch me squirm specifically.”</p><p>“Oh it’s not just you who squirmed. It was all of us in our own equally torturous ways,” Minho says, looking very much serious. “Speaking of following authority, Felix is a full clan member now, isn’t he? I can sense the dynamic shift, and so can Seungmin and Hyunjin.”</p><p>Instinctively, Chan hushes him, which makes the other vampire flash a lopsided smile. This time it’s more pitying than ironic.</p><p>“You want me to keep my mouth shut? Why, because keeping things from other people has worked out dandily for you thus far?”</p><p>“I’m only concerned that Felix might feel threatened –“</p><p>Minho cuts him off like he’s a dead leaf. “Threatened by the fact that there are two vampires lining up for him? Or is it perhaps you who’s scared of the possibility that Felix just might be into whatever the heck you three have going on.”</p><p>“We don’t have anything going on,” Chan objects weakly.</p><p>“The amount of tension in this house is so high that it would be enough to initiate nuclear fission. I’m not pretending to know what’s going behind closed doors, but for the love of God, figure it out before Hyunjin sprains his jaw from having to live with his baby fangs hanging out twenty-four seven from sheer anxiety. You can – I don’t know, hold hands with Bin while you take turns fucking Felix – if that’s what it takes for you all to be happy.”</p><p>A strained silence falls between them. Minho seems to realise what he just said, and his face falls accordingly.</p><p>“Hyung, listen, I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”</p><p>Chan gets off the bed with a grunt and curses when he sees that he’s wearing nothing but his boxers .</p><p>“Get out, Minho. Go before I run downstairs dressed like this and tell Jisung how you cried in the shower for two months after your stupid breakup.”</p><p>Minho doesn’t get up from the bed, doesn’t even flinch at the threat, once again exhibiting how stubborn he can be when he puts his mind to something.</p><p>“Please, hyung. Would you please just explain it to me? It was wrong of me to start making assumptions, but for the sake of peace within our ranks, we all need to be on the same page with the dynamics. And with you two out of the game for now, responsibility for this shitshow of a clan falls on my underqualified shoulders.” Minho sucks in a sharp breath. “So talk. I thought you would want to keep Felix as your personal companion without the clan bond, like you’ve done in the past. What changed?”</p><p>Chan wants to scream and throw a tantrum because Minho is very much correct. Because of his thick head, both upstairs and <em>downstairs</em>, Felix has unwillingly become an integral part of the clan dynamic. Chan walks up to his dresser to grab a pair of sweatpants.</p><p>“It’s – complicated,” Chan grumbles while pulling his feet through the leg holes. Minho leans back on the bed, examining Chan’s face with a careful expression.</p><p>Chan starts talking, and after that he can’t really stop anymore. “From the very start there was something special about him. I saw him on a plane and couldn’t even scent him, but I still <em>wanted</em> him. Then, after I thought I’d never see him again, never get a chance to taste him or even talk to him, he appeared on my doorstep. The whole contract thing was doomed to fail, I knew it at the back of my mind as soon as I tasted his blood for the first time. I’m sure you understand what I mean.”</p><p>Minho nods and swallows, his throat bobbing.</p><p>“It got even more complicated after that. Seeing Felix interact with Changbin started messing with my instincts. When it became evident that the two enjoy each other’s company, my brain started blurring the lines together without my permission. When I had to squeeze blood out of Felix’s sliced-up artery I felt like I was doing the right thing, that it was <em>meant</em> to go like that. Not the injury of course, but the aftermath of it. I was disgusted with myself, but the damage was already done. The vampiric part in me considers both of them mine, at least to some extent.“ Chan’s voice trails off with other ridiculous sentences right at the tip of his tongue.</p><p>Minho opens his mouth as soon as Chan is finished with his ramblings, but it takes a few extra seconds of processing before he can make himself talk. “And conversely, if anyone of us tried to make advances on Ttalgi, then –“</p><p>“I’d still rip your heads off, clan bond or no,” Chan confirms, letting his expression darken a bit to emphasise his point.</p><p>Minho nods with a straight face, but his eyes are smiling. “Duly noted. But with Changbin you don’t feel as – violently destructive?”</p><p>“It’s weird,” Chan confesses, “seeing them together is reassuring for me. All of the important people in my life in the same place, in a place where I can see them and reach them if I need to.” Chan briefly thinks about how Felix was curled up against Changbin in the vampire’s bed, huffing in his sleep, and it makes him feel nothing but fondness. “I have heard of triads before, even met someone who was involved in a weird scenario with two vampires and three humans all together within a larger clan, but I never knew it would be me who –“</p><p>“So we’re not important to you?” Minho snickers but doesn’t linger on it. “Hyung, thank you for explaining it to me even though I was a jerk about it. How you worded it made things sound much less kinky than what I had imagined in my head.”</p><p>Chan clears his throat loudly, once again grateful for the fact that vampires can’t blush. “It doesn’t matter, though, how I feel about it. I may have gone insane like this, but Felix and Changbin are their own people who surely wouldn’t –“</p><p>Minho cocks his brow so high it looks like a caterpillar slithering over an obstacle. “You seem to have trouble finishing your sentences, hyung. But if you’re so concerned about everyone else, you should know better than to ignore Changbin. Whenever I go see him, the poor bastard looks ready to swallow his own tongue to prevent himself from asking questions about you.”</p><p>“I can’t just stroll inside his room and have a friendly chat that was due a couple centuries ago,” Chan insists.</p><p>“I knew you’d say that,” Minho smiles sardonically. “I asked Jisung to wake Felix up and hold him hostage until you’ve at least stepped a foot inside his room. The least you can do is to go and apologise to him for having weird threesome fantasies about him.</p><p>Chan buries his head in his hands. “Yah, you just said you wouldn’t be a jerk about it – and don’t use Felix’s name and the word ‘hostage’ in the same sentence. Way too soon.”</p><p>“Your whining doesn’t change the fact that you don’t get to have Felix back before you’ve worked some things out. Now, go.”  </p><p>Chan hasn’t received many direct orders since his days as a human slave, and those are merely a painful flicker of a memory buried in a distant corner of his mind. But somehow, before he can fully register what happened, he’s standing at Changbin’s door, barefoot and with his gut full of heated quicksilver.</p><p>Minho is gone already, his last words, “you’ll do the right thing hyung, I’m sure” still ringing in the air.  </p><p>He knocks twice, even though it’s redundant. Changbin must hear the way his hand trembles against the metallic doorhandle.</p><p>There’s no ‘come in’, but the rhythm of Changbin’s breathing changes. Vampires breath only to talk and to scent. Changbin’s quickening inhales prepare him for both.</p><p>Chan cracks the door open just to be hit with Felix’s sweetness emanating from every surface of the room – the crumpled up sheets, the plush armchair in the corner, the fluffy rug on the floor. There are no undertones of fear and stress, only overwhelmingly sweet fruitiness. Changbin truly is a safe haven for the human.</p><p>“I didn’t want to change the sheets,” Changbin mutters from the bed as he sees Chan’s nostrils flaring wide. Chan can’t really blame him. If he ever managed to get Felix in his own bed, he’d use the same bedding for the next century.</p><p>“How are you feeling tonight?” he asks, taking one step closer and then stopping in his tracks.</p><p>“That’s an original question. Did you write it down as a go-to icebreaker?” Changbin mocks with a loud huff, the corners of his lips nearly touching the edge of his jawbone.</p><p>Oh, he’s pissed off.</p><p>Chan has seen him truly angry only a handful of times, and it has always been for a valid reason, usually when Chan himself has royally messed up something. Guess some things just don’t change.</p><p>”If Minho hadn’t dragged you here by the shirt collar, how long would it have taken you to crawl here?”</p><p>The mention of crawling makes Chan’s breath hitch in his throat. “Give or take a couple decades?”</p><p>Changbin hums in mock agreement. Using his arms as leverage, the vampire raises himself up to a sitting position with a slight wince. Changbin is wearing a thin cotton shirt, so Chan can see the muscles in his abdomen working double duty to keep his posture straight despite the injuries.</p><p>They eye each other up for a few moments, and surprisingly Changbin is the first one to break the silence.</p><p>“I’m so frustrated with you that I just want to wrap my hands around your stupid neck and <em>squeeze</em>, but my arms are still a bit weak.”</p><p>“You can do that in a few days, you know,” Chan blurts.</p><p>“Is that a new kink of yours?”</p><p>Chan grimaces. It has been like this from night one. Whenever the mood becomes apprehensive and tense, they start talking in weird innuendos. It’s always Chan who gets flustered by their little game, too.</p><p>“Look, I know this is all messed up, and I know I messed up big time last night and before, too –“</p><p>Changbin’s death glare has him shut up prematurely.</p><p>“<em>Against the wall</em>, Chan, just had to rub it in my face, didn’t you?” Changbin spits as if he has barely been holding the words in.</p><p>Chan swallows air and spit with a painfully large gulp. “Yes. I couldn’t help myself.”</p><p>“<em>You couldn’t help</em> <em>your</em>–” Changbin mimics in a high-pitched voice. “And Felix?” he then asks with a quick exhale and looks up at Chan with expectant eyes, like it’s a fully formed question instead of two random words put together.</p><p>Chan doesn’t know how to answer, so he panics, words spilling out of his mouth. “I like him. He’s a great kisser.”</p><p>Changbin sighs with his teeth pressed together, and it comes out as an uninspired whistle. He drags his feet over the edge of the bed and sits up with his palms planted behind himself for support. His cheeks are blotchy and red from overfeeding, which makes him look a lot like the vampire Chan met in that dingy tavern over two centuries ago.</p><p>What could have happened under different circumstances, in a different kind of era? What would have happened if Chan had been more comfortable in his own skin and pushed Changbin’s buttons beyond some sexually charged banter once in a blue moon?  </p><p>He wants to know the answer. He wants it so badly.</p><p>It’s not supposed to go like this, in a hasty flurry of emotions and empty words, but it is – there’s no going back, no swallowing the words that are bunching up against his velum, heavy and urgent and ready to burst.</p><p>“I like Felix so much I sometimes can’t breathe. I think I’m falling in love with him,” Chan says, stumbling over the confession like a lanky foal.</p><p>“Congratulations.”</p><p>“And I love you.”</p><p>Chan has said those words before, they are nothing special. They don’t convey anything, not even half of what he wants to express.</p><p>But Changbin looks at him, just <em>looks</em> at him, with clear eyes and smooth forehead. He’s the undisturbed surface of a pond, iridescent at dusk, when the sun is weak enough over the horizon that even a vampire could dare take a peek outside. He personifies that moment on a knife edge, dangerous and peaceful at the same time.</p><p>Changbin’s gaze stays fixed on Chan’s own eyes as a deep chasm of silence opens between them. It’s a dare, a challenge to have him continue, because it <em>has</em> to be Chan, there’s no other option. Minho’s words about his authority over Changbin play in his head on constant, screeching loop.</p><p>He needs to drown out the noise.</p><p>He has to overcome it.</p><p>“I am deeply in love with you, Seo Changbin.”</p><p>Those were new words.</p><p>Saying them out loud doesn’t bring him instant relief, doesn’t even cause a shift in Changbin’s rigid expression. It feels like a slow climb to a vaguely formed edge between nothingness and <em>somethingness</em>, and never getting past that point, like an impending orgasm getting cut off at the last possible second. It’s a steady burn of eye contact and shared air without release.</p><p>Changbin touches his chest where he was hurt, just below his heart. It should be all healed now, new skin cells stretched over the wound, soft tissues and bone and cartilage reformed to fill where there was emptiness before. But he is still a baby bird covered in fledgling, soft and raw.</p><p>Changbin gets up on his feet, swaying from side to side but still standing completely without support as if he’s a biblical miracle come to life. Except no one has commanded him to walk, it’s purely by his own willpower. Chest heaving from the exertion, he wobbles to Chan and leans in to brace a hand over his shoulder, so impossibly close that Chan can see the thin capillaries crisscrossing over his temples, blue and purple, and the intense blush of fresh blood under his cheeks. He can see that Changbin’s roots need touching up, and that he’s in desperate need of a shower.</p><p>Without a warning, Changbin presses his smooth lips against Chan’s, and that is their first kiss.</p><p>Changbin tastes of Changbin and cheap lip balm. It’s an airy brush of lips with the subtlest hint of tongue, noses poking at an awkward angle, and Chan shivers upon tasting a drop of his venom, so different from his own. Chan loops his arms loosely around Changbin’s neck, mindful of his chest. The vampire lets himself be reeled in like a fish, bringing his hips closer to Chan’s in response until their bodies are touching <em>everywhere</em>.</p><p>Chan has imagined the kiss so many times – different scenarios following heated debates and victorious battles. His fantasies were always laced with adrenaline and the smell of human blood. There were always fangs and desperate biting involved. But in reality their fangs are safely tucked away in the gums, teeth smooth and even and yet somehow clacking together when Chan opens his mouth too wide for a moment. They’re like two teenagers learning how to make out all over again and slightly failing in the process.</p><p>It’s a nice kiss, though.</p><p>Changbin is the one to pull back first, but his heavy palm stays flat against Chan’s shoulder as if he knows that Chan needs solid proof of the fact that what happened wasn’t just a particularly vivid fever dream. Changbin lets his head flop down, perhaps from sheer exhaustion, and his slate grey hair tickles the edge of Chan’s jaw.</p><p>“Did Felix ever tell you in full what I said to him?” Changbin breaths out against Chan’s collarbone. It feels like the vampire is mouthing at it through the fabric of his shirt, but it might just be his imagination playing a trick on him.</p><p>“He didn’t. And even if he would’ve told me, I needed to say these words to you regardless of your answer.</p><p>Changbin lets out a guttural laugh, and Chan feels the vibrations of it all over his body. The cotton of his shirt is getting moist from Changbin’s spit, so it seems that the sensation wasn’t completely phantom.</p><p>He lifts his head before talking. “Well, you have never waited for my answers, to be fair. First you act all high and mighty and say you <em>definitely </em>don’t want me in your bed, and look at you here now, kissing me so well. Always doing whatever hyung wants.”</p><p>“I kissed you well?” Chan asks, eyes half-lidded and hazy, too overcome by pleasure to get hung up on Changbin’s teasing.</p><p>“So well, Channie.”</p><p>Changbin starts to pull back, to remove his hand but Chan catches his wrist with quick fingers, guiding Changbin’s palm across his skin to rest over his heart. “Repeat the words to me, please. What you said to Felix.”</p><p>Changbin hums at the back of his throat. “Oh, now you want to know? You weren’t supposed to care about my answer.”</p><p>“My heart can only take so much in a day –“</p><p>A fire rekindles behind Changbin’s eyes, a pleasantly familiar expression after minutes of torturous neutrality. “Your heart is no more than a lump of coal at this point. Don’t you dare hide behind it, old vamp,” he scolds.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Changbin glares at him, clearly displeased.</p><p>“I’m – sorry for saying sorry?”</p><p>“Shut up, hyung. You’re terrible at this. I’m going to take back the compliment about the kiss.”</p><p>Chan swallows his last apology. And hears the words he has waited for the past two hundred and twenty-four years.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“Felix –“ Jisung complains with an exasperated sigh. “Me and hyung, w–we are not getting back together.”</p><p>Chan steps into the living room just to see Minho standing behind the couch with his hands placed protectively on Jisung’s shoulders.</p><p>“Uh huh.” Felix’s voice is full of doubt.</p><p>“I mean it, for real.”</p><p>Minho visibly tightens his grip of Jisung, but he stays out of the conversation. The vampire is still rocking his gift hoodie and seeing the two side by side makes it painfully obvious who the cartoon squirrel is supposed to represent.</p><p>Felix lifts one of his legs on the coffee table in an exaggerated motion, slender ankle visible under the rolled up hem of his trouser leg. He doesn’t acknowledge Chan in any way, too invested in the conversation.</p><p>“Why are you still here then? Don’t get me wrong, I love having my best friend for support and all, but I’m healthy and very much safe with them.” Felix points his hands in the general direction of Chan, who tries his best not to smile like an idiot. “I just don’t want you to miss more work with the rent and everything,” Felix adds, shrugging his shoulders.</p><p>All of a sudden Jisung looks mortified, eyes as round as saucers. He looks over his shoulder for help, but Minho doesn’t offer it. “Hyung – Minho hyung already paid for our rent this month.”</p><p>Felix narrows his eyes into downturned slits. His voice becomes an octave lower, which Chan finds acutely sexy. “Did he now? You know this doesn’t exactly help build your case of ‘I’m not dating this handsome vampire’.”</p><p>“Wait, who are you calling handsome here?” Chan interjects. The spike of murky jealousy is slightly pathetic, but then again he’s well aware of how good-looking Minho is. And single, if Jisung’s constant insisting is worth a damn. Chan isn’t willing to take his chances when he’s up against a famous Joseon dynasty fuckboy.</p><p>“Oh, hello Chan hyung,” Felix says absent-mindedly, still studying Minho’s face with a suspicious squint.</p><p>Chan gets even more worried at the formal and half-heated greeting.</p><p>“Ttalgi is just stating the obvious, no harm there,” Minho drawls. Chan bares his teeth at the other vampire in a quick warning, turning his head so that the humans can’t see what he’s doing. Minho doesn’t look too pleased, teeth and lips clenched shut, but at least he doesn’t start posturing in front of Felix and Jisung.</p><p>“So uhh, Felix,” Chan mumbles after collecting himself, voice thankfully void of the jealous edge. “A word, please?”</p><p>Felix pouts a bit, and it’s freaking adorable. “I’m still in the middle of an important interrogation. Maybe later?”</p><p>“Yah, don’t bully Sungie, what has he ever done to you?” Minho objects.</p><p>“Oh my, multiple things,” Felix huffs with a small laugh, and it’s Minho’s turn to try and hide the jealous frown distorting his features. The vampire lets go of his human’s shoulders and pretends to stretch his neck.</p><p>Totally oblivious to the reaction behind them, Felix lets his head fall into the crook of Jisung’s neck, and the other human rests his cheek against Felix’s pretty blond hair. Chan suddenly regrets his choice of living with so many non-straight males with absolute fervour.</p><p>“It’s kind of important,” Chan says much more loudly than necessary. Felix jolts at the loud sound and hits the top of his head against Jisung’s jaw, who yelps in pain. Chan grits his teeth. “You see, we had a – talk, last night. And I had a <em>talk</em> with Changbin as well, so we thought it would only be fair if you discussed some things with him, just the two of you.”</p><p>Felix flushes beet red so fast that Chan can <em>hear</em> his blood curling in the veins closest to skin. He pushes Jisung to the side, and the other human crashes against the cushions with a gasp.  </p><p>Before Chan has time to question the overly flustered reaction, it dawns on him that Minho hasn’t come for Jisung’s rescue, hasn’t even scolded Felix for being too rough with him. He’s scowling at his phone, crouched over and typing something with his thumbs flying over the keyboard.</p><p> “You know uhh, how you wanted me to keep an eye on the – person of interest?” Minho asks in a gravelly voice.</p><p>Chan flinches and rushes to Felix in a few long strides. He crams his body between the two humans and places a palm on the back of Felix’s hand. Felix is too surprised to react to the touch in any way.</p><p>“Yes. I remember,” Chan says, and Minho takes it as a permission to go on.</p><p>“I think you should know that he boarded a plane fifteen minutes ago. Sydney to Incheon.”</p><p>“How do you even know someone in that industry – never mind, of course you’d know.” Felix is already rising to his feet, but Chan won’t let go of the bony backside of his hand.</p><p>“I know a guy who knows a guy. You did ask me to keep track of him at all times.”</p><p>Chan frowns. “I did, but –“</p><p>“So you’re saying,” Felix interrupts Minho with words that roll off his tongue, sharp and acute, “that right this moment, Lee Sangtae is on his way to Korea.”</p><p>Chan can hear the bitterness in Felix’s voice as he spits out the full name of his father. Minho closes his mouth, and the hinge of his jaw makes a clicking noise.</p><p>Chan feels like growling. He wants to grab Felix by the waist, throw him over his shoulder and hide him from the world for all eternity.</p><p>Felix throws his head back suddenly, lips spread into a maniacal grin. There are often brief moments where Felix looks and acts like a vampire, and this is one of them. His white teeth catch a glint of light from the ceiling, and his canines look strong and sharp.</p><p>Felix lets out a few hollow burst of laughter. “Do you know what’s funny? I don’t think he has even learned of his son’s betrayal yet, seeing that Rosie was, she didn’t tell –”</p><p>Chan can see that Felix is spiralling as the human presses his eyes shut, mouth still open and words caught on his tongue, and the need to protect him flares up all over again, even though there’s nothing he can do to help. He also hates how he uses such a casual-sounding nickname of the vampire who has done nothing but hurt him.</p><p>But before Chan can say or do anything, everyone, including the humans, turns their heads to face the hallway. Judging by the sound, a certain injured vampire is tumbling down the stairs with uneven, heavy steps, practically freefalling at reduced speed.</p><p>Changbin emerges in the living room wearing a clean t-shirt inside out and a pair of gym shorts that look two sizes too small for him.</p><p>Upon seeing Felix sunken in the couch cushions, still dazed by the news, Changbin lets out a fierce and unquestioningly possessive growl that makes Jisung let out a small squeal. The growling doesn’t stop, in fact it only grows louder as Changbin bends his knees like he’s about to challenge someone to a fistfight while barely staying upright himself.</p><p>Felix tilts his chin up to look at Changbin, and his eyes glimmer with unknown emotion seeing the vampire out of control like that.</p><p>Minho leans over to whisper into Chan’s ear, “I think now would be a good time to tell Felix about clan dynamics.”   </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Writing this chapter was equivalent to willingly banging my head against the wall over and over and over again. </p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> for SNS-oriented persons.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Desire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Changbin is a bit OOC here, but suspend your disbelief for a sec. He’s hormonal okay?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Changbin’s growls vibrate through Felix’s body like an electric current. He feels the thrum of energy under his diaphragm, at the little pulse point on the inside of his cheek, across his scalp like fingers carding through his hair. It’s mesmerising to see, to witness the vampire in such a state. The wild, untamed sound is produced because of Felix, but it’s not directed at him.</p><p>Seungmin appears behind Changbin, taking in his dishevelled state and unsteady limbs, the noises of distress so very uncharacteristic of him.</p><p>But when Seungmin tries to grab him by the arm, to calm him down or perhaps lead him out of the room, Changbin snaps like a dry twig. He lunges toward the sofa with his arms flailing, and he elbows the other vampire square in the jaw. Seungmin jerks back with a loud yelp.</p><p>Chan lets out something between a groan and a hiss as he steps forward like he wants to help but doesn’t really know how. Changbin on the other hand doesn’t stall. He beelines for Felix and puts his hands under his armpits like it’s a completely normal thing to do, and just lifts, raising his arms up until Felix is dangling in the air with his feet barely off the ground.</p><p>“What the hell hyung?” he gasps, searching for pain and discomfort on Changbin’s face, but he only finds quiet determination.</p><p>Chan is behind the other vampire in a split second, worried eyes peeking at Felix over Changbin’s raised shoulder.</p><p>“Binnie baby, put Felix down before you hurt yourself.”</p><p>
  <em>Binnie baby?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby?</em>
</p><p>Felix feels like laughing, but he doesn’t know how the sound would come out, how erratic and uncontrolled, so he bites down on his lower lip instead.</p><p>“No no no, I won’t let that man take Lix, no no, I won’t allow it,” Changbin groans in his throat, eyes wild and nearly delirious as he stares at Felix, completely ignoring Chan’s words of reason.</p><p>“No one is taking me, I’m right here,” Felix manages in a voice which sounds oddly hoarse to his own ears, but Changbin doesn’t look convinced.</p><p>Felix cranes his neck to see what’s happening around him. Seungmin is still leaning against the wall, eyes wide in shock. He keeps rubbing his jaw, which means Changbin must’ve used quite a lot of force. Minho is standing next to Jisung, and both of them seem nervous and agitated.</p><p>Chan touches Changbin on the shoulder with the tips of his fingers, murmuring gently. “You shouldn’t be exerting yourself like this. And you’re scaring Felix. I didn’t get the chance to talk to him yet.”</p><p>“I’m not scared, just confused,” Felix corrects. He attempts to rock himself in Changbin’s iron grip but only manages to bump his heels against the edge of the sofa behind him. He feels embarrassingly small despite the three of them being around the same height.</p><p>“My Felix, <em>mine</em>!” Changbin barks. Felix probably was awfully red in the face even before that, but the words make a fresh rush of burning hot blood spread under his cheeks.</p><p>Chan sighs heavily. “That’s it. You are being ridiculous, Binnie. As your clan leader I command you to put Felix down.”</p><p>It works like a magic spell. Felix’s feet hit the ground with a soft thud, and he almost stumbles at the sudden contact with the ground. Chan’s hand is there for support before he can even register that his knees are buckling under him.</p><p>“My office, <em>now</em>,” Chan continues in that strict tone that has Changbin hunching his shoulders and the other vampires in the room looking extremely uneasy. Felix feels it, too – the weight of the words, the pull and gravity of them, but he doesn’t lower his eyes like the rest. He meets Chan’s gaze a little unsure of what to expect, but it’s instantly clear to him that the vampire isn’t on some weird power trip. Chan’s face reveals how ashamed he is by the effects of his voice.</p><p>“Yes, hyungnim,” Changbin mutters with a lisp. His fangs are fully out, but he’s no longer growling. Felix catches a glimpse of his face as he turns away to obey the direct order. His expression is dark instead of embarrassed, and Felix isn’t sure what to make of the fact.</p><p>Chan asks for the others to give them some privacy, but Felix can differentiate the tone now. It’s no longer a command but a firm suggestion. He keeps talking in that same, soft yet decisive tone after the door is closed between them and the rest of the clan.</p><p>“Sit down, please,” Chan gently urges, not directing his words at either one of them in particular. Felix settles onto the small sofa where Chan once drank from him. Changbin occupies the chair in front of Chan’s desk, and Chan himself stays standing between them like some kind of mediator.</p><p>The vampire sighs heavily as he monitors the two of them. “Your shirt is on the wrong way.”</p><p>“I’m aware,” Changbin grunts.</p><p>“Are those Hyunjin’s shorts?”</p><p>“Very much possible. Who was on laundry duty last night?”</p><p>Chan smirks with half of his mouth but doesn’t answer the question. There’s a tense moment of silence, but as soon as it passes, Felix feels mild irritation bubble up inside him.</p><p>“Would you care to explain to me what exactly is going on?” he demands. “Why is Changbin hyung acting like a proper lunatic when it’s me who’s supposed to be a mess after hearing those – unpleasant news?”</p><p>“I was going to. But then – whatever <em>this</em> is – happened.” Chan points a few fingers at the other vampire whose eyes are still fixated on Felix. He angles them in such a way that makes it look like he’s sneakily flipping Changbin off.</p><p>Changbin doesn’t react to the rude gesture, nor does he defend himself in any way. He has a hand over his heart, as if he’s attempting to keep his freshly formed insides from spilling out of his body.</p><p>Felix doesn’t say anything, either, forcing Chan to go on by himself.</p><p>“I might have said –“ Chan starts and grimaces at his own words straight away, “– look, Felix, there’s no easy way to explain this. You’ve been initiated into the Bang clan against your will. It was completely my fault.”</p><p>Felix blinks. “Me? A vampire clan member? What does that even mean?”</p><p>Changbin breathes in with all his might as he lets his hand flop back into his lap. “It means you’re ours and we won’t let you go back to Australia with that piece of –“</p><p>“Enough, Changbin. Of course Felix isn’t going back to Australia, he said he would stay right here with me and –“ Chan suddenly stops talking, and a sheepish expression wrinkles up his face around his mouth and eyes.</p><p>Felix feels like stomping his foot against the floor, but at the same time a strange mix of amusement and intrigue twists his gut. “Okay, so clan member? What do I need to know?”</p><p>Chan noticeably straightens his back. “Well, you don’t have to – uhh, the thing is, human clan members are kind of rare nowadays, but historically speaking they had very important positions within clans. Human members were financially supported and otherwise cared for, and in return they provided the vampires with a steady source of blood.”</p><p>Felix feels his eyes widen involuntarily. “Do you mean that they were like pet humans who just lounged around all day.”</p><p>Chan chokes on his spit, and he coughs it out with a wet splutter.</p><p>“Some clans had kept humans, but we never did,” Changbin interjects, but Chan glares him quiet. Felix notices that there’s still a lot of tension between the two, but it’s different from before. Less covert, less suppressed.</p><p>“Of course that all changed after vampires came out of the coffins and blood banks were established,” Chan explains with overly clear articulation. “These days clan bonds and companionships are formed for personal reasons, which means there’s less hierarchy and structure involved.”</p><p>“But –“ Felix starts, although he can’t come up with anything to say. He closes his mouth again, eyes darting from Chan to Changbin. He thinks about Changbin’s reaction, how he submitted to Chan so easily even in his distressed state.</p><p>“You felt, it didn’t you? When I forced Bin to let you go,” Chan guesses.</p><p>Felix nods, his mouth dry.</p><p>“I hate using my power over the others, but I was afraid Changbin might hurt himself as he’s still in the process of healing.”</p><p>Changbin scoffs.</p><p>“And would – do I have to, in that same way, <em>submit</em> to you?” The word has a weird ring to it, but Felix can’t think of a more fitting one.</p><p>A strong emotion of a dubious variety sparkles in the depths of Chan’s eyes. Felix notices that there’s an irregularly shaped ring of red around his pupils. He has come to understand that the change in colour happens whenever a vampire is very hungry. It feels wrong to see Chan hungry.</p><p>“I doubt you would ever fully submit to anyone,” Chan says a little breathlessly. “But technically, I would be your clan leader, if you were to accept this position. I would do everything to keep you safe from harm, and I would feel the need to make sure that you’re happy and content at all times.”</p><p>Felix fiddles with his earring. The cheap metal has gone green from the habit. “If I were to accept the position? Do you mean I have a choice?”</p><p>For a brief moment Chan looks incredibly mad, but his expression goes back to normal so fast that Felix starts doubting his own eyes.</p><p>“You always have a choice. We may consider you clan and want to protect you with our lives, but you are free to walk away at any point. And even if I hate the idea of you leaving, I couldn’t do anything to stop you. Because you’re not the same species as us, you won’t be physically compelled to obey me.” Chan’s expression softens further. “Which also means that you could be the most horrible brat every single day, and we would still adore you. That’s the real power of being a human clan member.”</p><p>Changbin nods affirmatively at the explanation. He flashes Felix a languid smile from where he’s sitting. The vampire seems more lucid now, less in pain, but definitely not his calm and collected self.</p><p>Felix tries his best not to look affected by the mention of being a brat. He tries not to think about running around, causing havoc with two irritated vampires chasing him, and then catching him because they’re faster –</p><p>Felix clears his throat, but the cough comes out as more of a weak gurgle. “You never explained what exactly was up with Changbin hyung’s reaction?” He intentionally doesn’t ask the question from Changbin himself, as the vampire seems to still be on edge.</p><p>“Ah, that would be my fault as well. I really am sorry, but I got all emotional during our little talk and I said –“ Chan glances at the other vampire in search of assistance. He doesn’t receive any. “I said that I want to be with you, but that I l–love h–him as well. And then we k–kissed, kind of.”</p><p>Felix has never heard Chan stutter quite like that. On top of that, the words coming out of his mouth aren’t really making sense.</p><p>“You two talked about feelings and then only <em>kind of</em> kissed, and hyung lost his wits because I might be in trouble with my uhh, past?”</p><p>Chan’s voice turns gravelly. “You won’t be in trouble, I promise you.”</p><p>Felix wants to complain about how it wasn’t remotely the most integral part of the question, but Changbin finally comes to the rescue.</p><p>“Chan hyung said he has become greedy and wants both of us.”</p><p><em>Wants both of us</em>.</p><p>Chan wants them. The vampire looks mortified as Felix glances at him, which means that it is the truth.</p><p>Changbin’s face is harder to read, his eyes are dark and a little murky. The sense of uncertainty sends a shiver down Felix’s spine, like a trickle of ice cold water.</p><p>“And hyung,” Felix starts, but his voice breaks in tiny shards and he has to whisper the rest, “do you want us, too?”</p><p>Changbin’s eyes dart to the floor, but he has a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Chan pretends to be very much interested in his wristwatch. Suddenly, loud music starts blasting in the living room. The others must be trying to give them some privacy.</p><p>Felix musters up all the courage he has, even some that he didn’t possess beforehand. “Because I d–“ The words get chocked up in his throat, sticky and acrid. “Because <em>I do</em>,” he mouths without sound.  </p><p>“You do?” the vampires gasp in a two-man choir, and it would be funny as hell if the whole situation wasn’t so tragic.</p><p>“Can you just put me out of my misery and tell me what you actually want from me? No more eloquent ramblings of my worth to you as an individual and shit like that.”</p><p>Chan and Changbin exchange slightly pained looks. It makes Felix remember that they are indeed from a bygone era. He needs more extreme measures to make them talk, to make them crack and show their true colours.</p><p>He lets out a purposefully dramatic sigh. “If I am a clan member, does that mean you’ll just share me with everyone, whenever?”</p><p>“God, no!” Chan almost yells, reaching with his hand to grasp at nothing. “I can be – very jealous,” he adds quickly.</p><p>Felix forces himself not to smile. Chan was almost too easy to break, but he still has one erratically emotional vampire left to take care of. “So, are you saying you <em>only</em> want to have something like a threesome with – me?”</p><p>Chan and Changbin respond at the same moment, a combined shout of “yes!” and “no!” Felix isn’t sure which one said which, although he could take a wild guess.</p><p>“Do you also want to drink my blood? Like, at the same time?”</p><p>Chan seems to ponder how he could make himself dissolve and drip through the cracks in the floor, while Changbin looks like honey is dripping out of his eyes. “Asking the important questions here, Lixie.”</p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you tonight, Changbin? Did you hit your head on your way downstairs?” Chan yells in disbelief. He looks positively ready to throw hands.</p><p>Changbin bites his lip in a very Felix type of way. “I’m just so mad at that Australian dude. And a little flustered from before. And now that Felix mentions it, I’m a little thirsty, too,” he lists.</p><p>Felix snickers inwardly at Changbin calling his horribly rigid father ‘that Australian dude’.</p><p>“You’re not thirsty, you had three full bags of blood yesterday,” Chan says firmly.</p><p>“But <em>you’re</em>, though,” Felix says in a quiet voice, and the bickering vampires turn to look at him as if he has screamed bloody murder instead. “Please, back to the topic of the conversation. You want to drink from me and <em>have</em> me, whatever that entails?”</p><p>Changbin chuckles affectionately. “Chan likes you. I like you. We simply – want to give you the world, if you let us.”</p><p>It’s the first time Changbin admits it out loud, that he’s into him. Felix’s heart almost leaps out of his chest hearing the casual confession. They share a heated look, a mutual realisation of what just happened.</p><p>Chan on the other hand is furrowing his brows, as if he’s slowly coming to the realisation about his state of hunger. He must’ve forgotten to feed while taking care of everyone else. He must be so hungry.</p><p>“Should we try it? See what it could be like?” Felix suggests in a small voice.</p><p>Chan swallows, and his throat bobs almost obscenely, as if he’s imagining having his lips around Felix’s throat. The red in his eyes glows like molten iron.</p><p>Felix’s stomach lurches at the sight, but he powers through. “If – Changbin hyung is full already, he can just have a tiny taste. I just think we should see if it works in real life, I guess,” Felix mumbles, shrugging his shoulders to appear more casual.</p><p>The vampires look at him like there’s nothing casual about the situation.</p><p>“I mean, if we should at least check the uhh, compatibility?”</p><p>Felix only gets blank stares in response.</p><p>“I have consented to it before. It’ll be just like last time,” he tries once more.</p><p>Now he sees the barely controlled hunger in Chan’s eyes, the dark anticipation in Changbin’s. The way they are tilting their heads toward Felix, nostrils flaring to scent the air.</p><p><em>Just like last time</em> – that’s a fucking lie of course, they will never go back to how it was before, safe and secure with a notarised contract. It is pure deception on his part, an exhibition of his power over the two vampires, but quite frankly, he has trouble finding the strength of character to care. They’re two supernatural creatures, more than capable of throwing Felix around like it’s nothing. But with his blood which they so clearly crave, he always has them by the fangs.</p><p>Felix crooks his pointer finger at the first joint and beckons them closer. The vampires come with clear eyes and clenched jaws, like rats following the Pied Piper.</p><p>It makes him feel so fucking powerful.</p><p>“We were doomed from the start, weren’t we?” Felix questions, even though the answer is obvious. “Remember when I came through that door, thinking I could sell myself to a brief period of shame and pain, and after that I’d just go back to existing miserably as I’ve always done.”</p><p>The vampires stalk across the floor and come sit beside him on the sofa, and Felix needs to suppress the primal instinct to run like the prey he is.</p><p>“You both wanted me then, didn’t you?” His tone is sharp with intent. He wants every truth to spill from their lips until they are scrubbed raw from honesty.</p><p>Changbin glances at Chan with glassy eyes, panting shallowly. “Yes. That first night I had to go outside for a while because I couldn’t bear your scent.”</p><p>“And I was a total wreck after drinking from you,” Chan mutters after returning Changbin’s lingering gaze.</p><p>Warmth pools at the bottom of Felix’s heart, and then between his legs. He knows what to expect and at the same time he has <em>no idea</em>.</p><p>“Just too mouthfuls, Binnie,” Chan instructs, his cold hand hovering over Felix’s neck. Changbin does the same on the other side. “I’ll take a little more because I haven’t –“ His embarrassed voice trails off.</p><p>“You should take proper care of yourself, hyung. Or maybe you two fools need <em>me</em> to take care of you.”</p><p>Chan starts growling before Felix can finish his sentence, and the other vampire soon follows his example. Felix wonders what he has unleashed and at what cost, but the thought soon blurs into a blissful sting that makes the part of his brain capable of worry shut off. Two sets of fangs dig into his flesh at the exact same moment, like the two of them have done it hundreds of times before.</p><p>And it hurts so good.</p><p>It’s when Felix realises that it isn’t just the venom getting him all worked up. It’s the feeling of being wanted and desired combined with his own sexual desire and receptiveness to pain. Felix hasn’t thought of the word before, hasn’t given himself the label, but there’s something inherently masochistic about the way he melts into the pain like he’s made of fine grains of sugar.</p><p>It’s also when it becomes painfully clear that they aren’t going to survive this. The way their mouths move in tandem, the way Chan cups the back of Felix’s head to support him, the way Changbin hums against Felix’s skin as a rivulet of blood slides down his neck and into his shirt. Felix’s own deception has worked too well, and he will now pay the price.</p><p>Changbin places his hand on Felix’s abdomen, large and firm, right above the waistband of his trousers. Chan notices it, there’s no way he wouldn’t when they’re so close to each other, crammed into the tiny loveseat so that their limbs are tangled together at weird spots. Felix’s leg has found its way across Changbin’s thighs, and his hand is clutching at Chan’s shirt.</p><p>Chan places his own palm on Felix’s upper thigh, fingers splayed open to cover more skin, and it takes all of Felix’s self-restraint not to buck into the touch, to not beg for Changbin to let his hand slip a little lower.</p><p>Changbin licks over the puncture wounds with a lazy tongue as Chan keeps quenching his thirst. He then leans back to give Felix a small smile of gratitude. It makes him look so handsome, so carefree. His lips are slick and shiny with the faintest hint of red.</p><p>“Hyung, would you please kiss me?” Felix asks before he can stop himself.</p><p>Both vampires tense up. Chan stops swallowing, but he doesn’t remove his mouth from Felix’s neck. The stilled lips feel maddening on his skin, and he can only imagine how his blood keeps gathering under Chan’s tongue.</p><p>“Please?” he repeats breathlessly.</p><p>Changbin hesitates for a moment, eyes gleaming in the dim lighting. Then, as if time starts moving again after a tiny rift in reality, the line of Chan’s throat starts flexing as he swallows small mouthfuls. It’s his non-verbal consent.</p><p>Kissing Changbin is very different from the cat-and-mouse game he plays with Chan. It’s deep and slow and demanding, no rush to get <em>somewhere</em>, as there always seems to be with the other vampire. His lips taste of fresh iron, but the note of blood doesn’t disgust Felix as much as he would’ve imagined. As soon as Felix manages to slip his tongue inside to explore the gap between his fang and the row of dull human-like teeth, the grip of Changbin’s hand becomes even tighter. His long fingers curl around the edge of Felix’s rib, right where bone turns into the soft expanse of waist.</p><p>Changbin takes Felix’s entire bottom lip into his mouth and gives it a harsh tug. At the same time, Chan creates a vacuum with lips and starts sucking with determination, surely creating a prominent mark around the bite. Felix starts whining in a pathetic manner when the feeling gets too much. It soon turns into choked up panting, when there’s no air left in his lungs to produce sound.</p><p>Chan has started licking his neck, done with the feeding, but the tension is far from gone. Felix’s thighs shake under the weight of hands still on his body, hands that drive him mad from want. His own arms lay limp and weak at his sides from the venom burning in his veins, making him the pray who’s unable to run away.</p><p>“Fuck, I – I had two first kisses tonight,” Changbin groans, and Chan chuckles deep in his chest. Felix wants to ask if he was any good, but no words come out. But Changbin offers him a wordless confirmation as he touches Felix’s mouth with the pad of his thumb and just keeps the digit there for a while.    </p><p>They stay in a half embrace like that for a few moments, breathing the same air and waiting for the venom to lose its paralysing grip on Felix’s body.</p><p>When Changbin momentarily looks in another direction, Felix darts his tongue out to lick a wet stripe over Changbin’s thumb still at the corner of his mouth. The vampire smirks in awe, and his fingernails start dragging faint lines into the soft skin of Felix’s middle, in response for his weak attempt at being bratty.</p><p>“I need –“ Felix whimpers, but his will to form full sentences crumbles again as he sees Changbin licking his kiss-swollen lips with the tip off his tongue. Felix can’t help but wonder what the vampire did with Chan upstairs. If they made out, or if they went much further than that. It’s curious how he doesn’t feel jealous at all, only hot and bothered.</p><p>“More, need more,” Felix whines, determined to get more, completely sure that he would be allowed more than heavy hands and heavier promises. They promised to have him, to give him the world.</p><p>Chan’s breath is tickling the shell of his ear, like an echo of that promise. “We’ll take care of you, little one,” the vampire says quietly, darkly.</p><p>
  <em>Little one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby.</em>
</p><p>Felix wants Chan’s smooth voice to replace every horrible thing Rosie ever said to him, one term of endearment at a time.</p><p>“Will you let hyungs take care of you tonight? Look at me as you answer, I need to see your face,” Chan asks.</p><p>Felix knows Chan is worried. But the haze of venom is almost gone, his body seems to be adapting to it.</p><p>He gives his consent with a steady “yes, please,” and Chan believes him. A steady hand starts folding the waistband of his trousers, and his hips are lifted with practised ease to pull the fabric further down. They’re moving so fast, but it’s still too slow.</p><p>There’s a hand over Felix’s collarbone now – teasing the ridge of bone with feather-light fingers. The hands that ridded him of his clothes are back on his belly, squeezing his hipbone, and only after Felix whimpers in agony, they start sliding down, down, hot and heavy like the arousal simmering deep within him.</p><p>This is it, Felix thinks, and right at that moment the hands on his body, now skin on skin, find their way into where Felix needs them the most.</p><p>Felix mewls and writhes into the touch, hands trying to find something to hold onto. Chan’s shirt is somehow open from the fourth button up, and Felix’s fingernails soon find the smooth expanse of his chest. Chan shudders as he rakes up and down like a cat with unsharpened claws.</p><p>Changbin is moving his hand now, up and down, but it’s torturously slow and controlled. Felix turns his head and licks his way into the vampire’s lax mouth without warning, and then bites down on his lower lip, hard, growling into his mouth.</p><p>Contrary to what Felix wished for, Changbin ceases all movement, responding to his playful growl with a real vampire one that shakes him to his core.</p><p>But it turns out to be another ploy. While Felix is busy, Chan lowers himself onto the floor and pushes Felix’s knees apart with gentle force. As Felix turns to look, the vampire’s mouth is hanging open. His fangs are retracting as he furrows his brow in deep concentration.</p><p>Felix is already so close from having Changbin’s hand work him, there’s no way he can bear having Chan’s mouth –</p><p>“Hyungs,” Felix whines, “it’s t–too much.”</p><p>Chan licks over his teeth, leaving a shining stripe of saliva behind. Perhaps he can still taste Felix’s sweetness on his canines. He’s smiling, eyes downcast to where Felix is already flushed and bare. He pulls Felix’s upper body forward to press a deep kiss to his lips, quick and hot and messy, over sooner than it started. Chan pushes Felix back against the cushions and settles between his legs.</p><p>As Chan sinks down, Changbin’s teeth find the helix of his ear, and the wet pinch that follows makes Felix’s hips jerk up.</p><p>The sudden movement has Chan spluttering and almost losing balance, but the vampire’s hands grip Felix’s exposed upper thighs for balance and support. The strange material of Chan’s shirt, like coarse silk, makes his entire body tingle and burn as the fabric rubs against his bare skin.</p><p>“Is hyung making you feel good?” Changbin breaths into his ear. Felix can hear from his voice that he’s smiling.</p><p>
  <em>Feels so good.</em>
</p><p>“So good,” Felix whines.</p><p>He finishes with a soft cry, thinking how badly he wants to wipe that smug smile off of Changbin’s face.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is still M for mature, right?🤡</p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you want to see bad memes and my thoughts on irrelevant things.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Sensitivity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix just came into his mouth.</p><p>If Chan weren’t so damn horny, the thought would be absolutely absurd. There’s the taste of salt and strawberry on his tongue, a weirdly pleasant mixture, but it doesn’t feel all that real despite the concrete evidence left behind.</p><p>Felix looks blissed out, head lolling to the side as Changbin supports most of his weight. Chan listens to his pulse for a moment, the beautifully symmetrical thump-thump, rushing blood from one chamber to another.</p><p>Even though Chan can’t remember the sound of his own heartbeat anymore, knowing that Felix’s own is still working as intended, seeing that he’s sated and safe goes way beyond quick sexual gratification. And seeing Changbin rosy and rejuvenated with a part of Felix inside him is better than the post-feeding fullness that has settled in his own gut.</p><p>“I think we should take him upstairs to rest,” Changbin mutters. Their eyes lock for a second, and the other vampire makes a small gesture over the corner of his mouth.</p><p>Chan frowns in confusion but mimics the action, only to find sticky wetness on his chin.</p><p>“Oh,” Chan breathes out, averting his gaze and letting his tongue chase the remaining traces. Throughout the process he can feel Changbin drilling holes through his matted down bangs. He’s still kneeling on the floor between Felix’s splayed legs.</p><p>“That was kind of hot, hyung,” Changbin whispers and then stands up so that Chan is met with his obvious arousal, face to crotch.</p><p>Chan swallows thickly, taking in the sight with a sudden shiver of trepidation, while Changbin keeps boring him with heavy-lidded eyes laced with pure <em>feeling</em>.</p><p>This is kind of hot, too, Chan thinks to himself.</p><p>The two of them are harshly jerked back to reality as Felix lets out a sleepy whine and blinks his eyes back open. His skin is pink under a layer of faded freckles, a reminder of his life is sunny Sydney, and his small hands trail down to his lap in a feeble attempt to provide himself some modesty.</p><p>“Hyungs,” he calls out with his tongue pressing against the root of his mouth, making the syllables all scrambled. “Hyungs, are you –“</p><p>“I’ve got him,” Changbin says. Without wasting any time he slides a hand under Felix’s bare thighs, lifting him up just enough to pull his underwear back in place. Changbin arranges Felix into a ball of limbs and discontent noises and stands up with their human safely in his arms. The trousers are left discarded on the floor next to where Chan is sitting.</p><p>Looking up at the two of them is like staring at a full moon, bright and soothing. Like a young child reaching for the white orb as if to grasp it between two chubby fingers, Chan slowly stands up, feeling a little dazed still.</p><p>Felix’s smooth, pale legs are dangling off to the side, folded in half over the arm tucked behind the knees. His shirt has ridden up his belly, revealing the sheen of sweat glistening over his sharp hipbones.</p><p>“I’ll go check if – if the way is clear,” Chan mumbles, and Changbin nods eagerly. There’s no way he’s going to let anyone see how nice Felix’s legs are, how pretty his small hands curled around the fabric of Changbin’s shirt.</p><p>Chan peeks his head into the hallway. It seems that all of the clan members have scurried off somewhere, which means they were listening in carefully enough to at least know when to make themselves scarce.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Chan grunts with disappointment seeping through to his voice. Felix’s legs are one thing, but the sounds he makes should be bottled and preserved. None of his good-for-nothing clan members are worthy of hearing them.</p><p>They’re midway upstairs when Felix grows restless. There’s a deep frown forming on his face, right between the brows, and he starts swinging his legs in Changbin’s loose hold.</p><p>“You didn’t get to – you know,“ Felix huffs.</p><p>“It’s alright little one, we still loved taking care of you,” Changbin says readily. He has a steady smile on his face to back up his claim.</p><p>Felix lets out a tiny whine. “But I want you to feel good, too.”</p><p>“We felt good, you were so good to us. And we can do more later if you feel up for it. We have all the time in the world,” Chan reassures him.</p><p>There’s a complaint forming on Felix’s pretty lips, making his nose scrunch up ever so slightly, but he seems to give up mid-inhale.</p><p>“That’s it, just relax,” Changbin says. He pushes the door to the guest bedroom wide open to make sure Felix doesn’t bump anything on the way in.</p><p>Someone has made the guest bed with fresh sheets and placed some colourful blankets on top of the regular duvet, giving the neutral-toned room a much needed splash of pastels. The whole rooms smells faintly of laundry detergent and clean cotton. Changbin lays Felix down on his back with great care, making sure his neck is supported in a way which doesn’t put pressure on the fresh puncture wounds.</p><p>The shift in position jolts Felix more awake. It’s quite dark in the room for human eyes, so his gaze flickers around before landing on Chan’s face.</p><p>“Don’t have too much fun after I have fallen asleep, though,” Felix murmurs. “I want to at least watch.”</p><p>Chan feels mortified. To appear busy, he picks up a pale orange blanket and folds it open.   </p><p>“Let you watch what exactly?” Changbin asks with smile in his voice, and Chan fantasises about stapling the vampire’s mouth shut.</p><p>“What would you like to watch, Lixie?” Changbin reiterates, reaching to flick on the small bedside lamp.</p><p>Felix giggles a bit and blinks his eyes in the now warm-toned glow of the room. He’s still going strong on sex hormones and the residual venom.</p><p>“You two doing stuff. Could be hot,” he whispers slyly.</p><p>“I promise we’ll include you in our – stuff,” Changbin laugh-whispers with his handsome features lighting up, and for a fleeting moment Chan isn’t sure if he’ll be able to wait after all, as he wants to drag Changbin into some dark corner and just explore the hard lines of him all night long.</p><p>Felix hums in contentment, his eyes already falling shut again. Chan starts wrapping him in the thick fleece blanket to keep his body temperature up.</p><p>“What kind of aftercare food would you like?” Changbin murmurs as Chan gives the human burrito a few finishing touches.</p><p>“Too tired,” Felix protests weakly.</p><p>“I know, but you need to eat something after your hyungs were bad and took a lot of blood. And drinking something warm would be good for you as well.”</p><p>“It was worth it. I came so hard I had an out-of-body experience,” Felix smiles dreamily. A pink, wet tongue flicks over his lips to moisten them.</p><p>“Look at you and your dirty little mouth,” Changbin coos with a small sigh. “Are you always like this on vampire venom?”</p><p>“He’s been worse, trust me. Now – food and drink, choose wisely,” Chan chimes in, stepping back from his masterpiece. Felix looks highly discontent, but he manages to whisper “vanilla ice cream and hot tea, please” after another round of intimidation.</p><p>Chan claps his hands together in satisfaction. He’s fairly sure they have a tub of ice cream hiding in the freezer, tucked away between the frozen plasma cubes they sometimes use for drinks. “I’ll go get them. Don’t let him fall asleep yet, Binnie.”</p><p>“I won’t. Hey, I found these mint-coloured fuzzy socks in the drawer,” Changbin calls out to Chan who is at the door, about to set out on his scavenger hunt.</p><p>“Who keeps buying those socks?” Chan chuckles. “Go put them on Felix before he’s coherent enough to refuse.”</p><p>“I’m tired, not deaf,” their human says with a frown.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry. Would you like to wear your pretty mint socks with bows?” Chan asks, arching a brow. Changbin presents the pair of socks to Felix by dangling them in the air by the tiny plastic hanger they come wrapped around.</p><p>“I most certainly don’t think so.”</p><p>“Well too bad, because Changbin will make you wear them anyway! Can’t have your toes freezing off on my watch.” Chan runs off before Felix can come up with more bad counterarguments, all but skipping down the stairs. He can hear Felix squealing, drowning out Changbin’s stern tone of reason.</p><p>In the kitchen he runs into Hyunjin, who is pouring himself a huge glass of blood from a plastic bag marked with a big X, sampled and Hyunjin-safe.</p><p>The baby vampire raises his brows seeing him. His hair is pulled up in a shaggy ponytail, and his loose sweatshirt is falling off one shoulder. “I thought you’d barricade yourselves upstairs for a few days at minimum.”</p><p>Chan coughs. He sometimes forgets how calmly straightforward Hyunjin can be. When Chan implied for the first time that he wasn’t strictly interested in women, Hyunjin simply snickered and patted him on the back. It happened a few years back, when they were at <em>Persona</em> running some errands. Chan was caught red-handed, ogling at one of their business associates, a man with blond hair and soft, angel-like features. The man hadn’t spared Chan a second look, all caught up in the eyes of their recent talent hire, a blue-haired singer with a full sleeve of tattoos running up his arm. Chan had been so embarrassed he felt obligated to say something to Hyunjin, who simply shrugged the whole thing off as something – normal.</p><p>Chan clears his throat again, this time determined to speak. “I’m just – I’m supposed to get some ice cream and tea for Felix.”</p><p>Hyunjin stands up from where he has been leaning against the countertop. He leaves the glass of blood behind. “I can make some tea while you search for the ice cream. I don’t want to touch your yucky experiments that have been in the freezer for who knows how many decades.”</p><p>All of a sudden Chan gets ambushed by his own need to growl. He’s getting upset by the fact that someone else is going to prepare Felix’s tea. His expression must be getting tense, because Hyunjin lets out a cheery laugh, clapping his hands together. “When was the last time you had hot tea, hyung? Do you even know how to use the electric kettle?”</p><p>Chan presses his mouth into a thin line. He might have not been entirely aware of such an appliance existing. Boiling some water really shouldn’t be that complicated.</p><p>“What kind of tea did he ask for?” Hyunjin asks.</p><p>“Umm, one that –“ Chan stops talking, because he’s getting properly embarrassed now. He marches off to the freezer and opens the door with a little too much force, which makes a thin sheet of ice rattle off onto the floor. “Something that goes well together with ice cream, I guess.”</p><p>Soon a pot of water is bubbling happily nowhere near the actual stove, and Hyunjin is putting some tea leaves into a ball-shaped strainer. The cardboard tub of ice cream is a little banged up, but it smells and looks quite edible. The kettle makes a clicking noise, and Hyunjin pours steaming water into a mug decorated with Disney characters.</p><p>“Chan hyung,” Hyunjin says before Chan can leave the kitchen. The tone is serious enough to make Chan stop and turn to face him again. The young vampire studies his face for a moment with a pair of piercing blue eyes, the sharp and observant eyes of a vampire. Chan feels eternally thankful to all kinds of mountain gods and friendly goblins for the fact that at least Hyunjin’s eyesight was spared in the messed up turning process.</p><p>“Yeah?” Chan hums, cold ice cream melting in his left hand and the enormous mug of piping hot tea in the other.</p><p>“You always carry the world on your shoulders, thinking that your past actions completely define you as a vampire. You deserve to be happy like this, too.”</p><p>“Jinnie, I –“ Chan’s throat constricts painfully. “I’m just –“</p><p>“And I deserve to be happy as well. I see the regret and self-blame in your eyes whenever you look at me. I want that to stop. I made my own choices that led me here, and I’ve made my peace with it.”</p><p>Hyunjin’s eyes glitter as he lifts the glass of blood to inspect the red liquid against the light. He nods to himself as if to approve his choice of drink, and then turns to leave.</p><p>“Just don’t fuck it up, okay? Not when everything is going so well for you.”</p><p>“What’s that even supposed to mean?” Chan exclaims, but Hyunjin is already gone.</p><p>Feeling slightly conflicted, Chan walks up the stairs back to the guest room. It would’ve been nicer of course to throw Felix into Chan’s own bed and bury him in blankets that smell of <em>him</em>, but he wants to talk about it first, ask if it was be something he would be comfortable with. Eventually. In the future.</p><p>Great, his dick is showing interest again.</p><p>He ignores it and opens the door by pressing down on the handle with his elbow.</p><p>“I want cuddles,” Felix announces from his cocoon as soon as he steps in.</p><p>“Then come and get them. No one is stopping you,” Changbin teases gently. The socks have disappeared, and the empty packaging lies discarded on the bedside table.</p><p>“You swaddled me up too tight. I can’t move my arms.”</p><p>“Poor baby,” Changbin continues, but it’s clear that his mean streak is about to break.</p><p>Chan reaches for their human’s forehead, which is damp with fresh sweat. He pushes Felix’s bangs to the side. “Maybe we did tuck you in too well. Want some cooling ice cream?”</p><p>Felix smiles on instinct before he can get a hold of himself. The tea is left cooling down on the table, and Changbin climbs onto the bed to offer Felix his broad shoulder to lean into, as Chan feeds him huge spoonfuls of ice cream straight out of the tub. On a whim, Chan presses a small kiss to his cold mouth after witnessing the cute way Felix smacks his sugar-sticky lips, and he’s almost surprised by the way Felix reciprocates the kiss with a relaxed smile.</p><p>He keeps forgetting that it’s completely okay to do this now.</p><p>After some tea to warm Felix up all over again, the three of them curl up into the bed under multiple blankets, using each other’s arms as pillows. They nap and cuddle in a huge pile of tangled limbs and sleep-heavy words until Chan’s phone plinks loudly in the comfortable silence.</p><p>The little interruption to their dream-like existence makes Chan remember something about the real world. Something highly unpleasant. He pokes Changbin in the arm, who raises a questioning brow.</p><p>“What is it, hyung?” Changbin asks drowsily.</p><p>“We need to go to the police station tomorrow evening.”</p><p>Felix’s face drains of colour in an instant, and Chan regrets everything, even though the whole thing is quite unavoidable. “I’m so sorry, but the police keep asking about you two. You need to make an appearance and show that you’re alive and well. The police don’t seem too keen on solving a case of two supernatural groups coming at each other’s throats, but they were worried about possible victims.”</p><p>“But what am I going to do?” Felix shrieks in a tiny voice. “I’m here on a tourist visa that won’t last much longer. I’m not supposed to be working at bars and selling my blood to some vampires.”</p><p>The harsh words make Chan shudder, but he manages to keep his voice calm. “As a clan member you can get a residence permit. I’ll help you with the paperwork. And seeing that you have Korean heritage, you would probably get a full citizenship quite easily too, if that’s something you want.”</p><p>Felix struggles to sit up, and Changbin offers him a helping hand. The human has a confused expression on his face. “But I never said I wanted to be a clan member, though. I just said I wanted <em>you</em>.”</p><p>Chan looks at Changbin in horror, because it’s true. Maybe Felix is smart after all, maybe he sees that it’s more harm than good to –</p><p>Felix starts laughing, and it’s the brattiest, most obnoxious thing Chan has ever heard in his life. “You should’ve seen your faces right now. Serves you right for teasing me like that for <em>hours</em>.” Felix gasps for air, hands on his cramping stomach. “Of course I want to join your stupid clan. You’re the most gullible creatures I’ve ever met, hyungs. But don’t worry, that’s exactly why I like you.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Chan is about to enter the kitchen as he hears Jisung’s hesitant voice calling out Felix’s name.</p><p>“Bokie, are you okay? Your neck –“</p><p>“Ah, it looks way worse than it feels,” Felix replies in a light tone. Chan can hear the rustling of clothes and something ceramic hitting the kitchen island as one of the humans settles down to sit and eat. Suddenly, there’s another sound, one that makes the fine hairs at Chan’s neck bristle.</p><p>“Oh no Sungie, are you crying? Are you crying because of me? I’m alright, though.”</p><p>Chan steals a glance through the crack in the door. The humans are sitting on the barstools at the kitchen island. They have steaming bowls of unnaturally orange ramyun in front of them. A glossy egg is floating on top of Felix’s dish, and Jisung has some chopped green onion on his. Chan frowns. There should be lots of real human food in the fridge. Why are they choosing to eat dried stuff that comes from a packet?</p><p>As Felix noted, Jisung is sobbing silently, tears accumulating at his lash line. They are round and thick with salt and regret, and Chan immediately knows the cause of his sorrow. Felix doesn’t, so he looks flustered beside his friend, one hand on Jisung’s trembling shoulder and the other clutching the still visible bite on his neck, bruised deep purple by Chan’s eager lips.</p><p>Chan hears quick, silent steps coming behind him, and he instinctively raises an arm to stop Minho from barging in and ruining the tender moment. It’s not something the vampire can comfort his human with. Minho stops beside Chan, but he cranes his neck to see over Chan’s shoulder.</p><p>“Yongbokie, I think I need your advice,” Jisung sniffles.</p><p>“I’ll try my very best.”</p><p>Jisung pokes at his soggy noodles with a single chopstick, and some broth sloshes over the rim. “It’s kind of a long story, though.”</p><p>“I’m not in a hurry,” Felix says gently, encouragingly, and the words start falling off Jisung’s tongue, cold and harsh like wet snowflakes.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Jisung is leaning to the brick wall next to the employees entrance. Another staff member is smoking a cheap brand of cigarettes, the kind that smell rancid when sober but become almost pleasant when there’s enough alcohol involved. Jisung inhales the musty smoke with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. He forgot his warm mittens inside. He doesn’t really want to be out here but spending his short and few breaks in the uninspiring staff room isn’t much better.</p><p>Jisung notices that the back door, the one vampire customers use, is much busier than usual. Both humans and vampires alike arrive in small groups, dressed in shades of grey and black. Perhaps they have some kind of vampiric ‘hungry and ready to mingle’ event going on.</p><p>Jisung hears two people bickering at the end of the alleyway, their voices growing louder as they approach in long strides.</p><p>“– listen paperboy, I’m not going to just sink my teeth into the first cute guy I catch a glimpse of.”</p><p>“Fine, no one is forcing you to, absolutely no one. But we need to stay out of hyung’s way for now, you know how he is.” The second voice is familiar. Jisung recognises him as one of the Bang clan members. He has an expensive taste, the others have told him.</p><p>“Min – I,” the unfamiliar vampire stops in his tracks and grabs the sleeve of the other’s long wool coat. “But shouldn’t I still tell him about the scent I caught?”</p><p>“Hyung is already blaming himself for what happened. If it turned out to be true, that another vampire was involved, it would destroy him. You need to gather more evidence before you willingly send him into a psychotic episode. Now that he has finally stopped destroying property, we need to keep him stable and calm.”</p><p>The two vampires continue walking, and the taller one with a cap that covers most of his face lets out a heavy sigh.</p><p>“It feels like I can no longer trust my own nose. It was barely there at the scene, that scent.”</p><p>“Exactly. Don’t go and run your mouth before you’re absolutely sure. And if your nose is feeling sluggish, a nice feeding might do the trick. Everything here is ethically sourced, local produce.”</p><p>“Aish, just leave cracking jokes to the funny ones. You’re insufferable.”</p><p>Jisung can see that the vampire is grinning under his hat. He can’t tear his eyes off of his form, all straight lines and lean muscle. He doesn’t know why he’s paying attention to it.</p><p>“Jisung, I think our break is over,” the young man next to him announces. The cloud of cigarette smoke has dissipated, the tar now clinging to the man’s lungs, causing cancer.</p><p>The vampire lifts his gaze at the sound, and Jisung gets caught staring. His eyes are the colour of red wine as light hits them from the sign above the door.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Jisung wraps a huge scarf around his neck and slips his hands into red mittens, a precious gift from his late grandmother. He’s still smiling at the nice message Felix sent him before going to bed, and he feels a little less shitty about the walk to the bus stop and the forty minute long ride back to his freezing cold apartment, where the heating has been broken for three weeks straight.</p><p>His joy is short-lived, though, as someone is waiting for him at the staff door. The vampire with the black cap and a dangerous smile.</p><p>“Hey there,” he says. The vampire has a soft and smooth voice, but there’s something hesitant behind the words, as though the vampire has actually contemplated if jumping an innocent employee behind the bar is acceptable after all.</p><p>“Did you have a nice night, despite not sinking your teeth into the first appealing neck?” Jisung scoffs, trying his best to look unfazed. He starts walking toward the main road without waiting for a reply.</p><p>“How do you know I didn’t cave in?” the vampire asks from right behind him, and then he’s caught up with Jisung. He keeps walking next to him, a little too close for comfort.</p><p>Jisung gives the vampire a side-eyed look. The skin around his eyes is thin as soggy paper, showcasing the veins crawling along the side of his nose, the ridge of his brow. His eyes are deep and red.</p><p>If Jisung is going to get murdered like this, he might as well go all in. Swallowing the lump of well-placed fear he utters, “I have eyes.”</p><p>The vampire laughs, the sound sharp and ringing.</p><p>“You certainly do,” he answers, and it sounds like flirting. “You come here often?”</p><p>Ah, definitely flirting.</p><p>“That’s the cheesiest pick up line ever, and it doesn’t even make sense seeing that I work here.”</p><p>“Sorry, force of habit. Wasn’t trying to –“ the vampire mutters, but the sentence gets cut off. “I’m just a little on edge after some – stuff, and my friend is insatiable when it comes to blood, so I decided to stop bothering him with my sulking.”</p><p>Jisung isn’t sure why the vampire is pouring his heart out to a stranger, but he isn’t going to fight it, especially if it means he won’t get eaten at three o’clock in the morning.</p><p>“Hmm, your friend has quite the reputation around here.”</p><p>The vampire clicks his tongue, a little condescendingly. “He’s all talk I promise. Seungmin is an actual puppy, but our leader has spoiled him for a literal century.” His gaze turns to the wall beside them, and Jisung can’t see his expression properly. “Our beloved baby maknae – or at least he was.”</p><p>Jisung suppresses a shiver. He knows better than to ask for more details.</p><p>They arrive at the bus stop, but the vampire lingers.</p><p>“Thank you for umm, walking me I guess. Not that I need protection or anything,” Jisung mumbles. At the same time he’s dreading the moment he’s left alone in the dark and cold, but he’s also looking forward to getting the famished vampire out of his sight.</p><p>“You smell really good, did you know that?” the vampire says in a conversational tone. He tilts his head in the way scenting vampires do, but for some reason the action doesn’t terrify Jisung. Maybe it’s the way his posture remains relaxed, as if he’s expecting nothing to come out of his little remark, as if it’s a completely normal thing to say to a stranger.</p><p>Jisung is suddenly blinded by the headlights of a green bus, a rattling old thing. As he regains his vision, he can see nothing but the hungry vampire all lit up, translucent skin and glossy, warm-toned hair. His lips are pink and symmetrical, very human-like.</p><p>The bus comes to a halt, and the vampire is turning to leave. Before he disappears to the shadows, he shouts, “you can call me hyung if you’d like. See you around!”</p><p>Jisung doesn’t have the brain capacity to shout back something snarky, tell that he doesn’t even know the name of his supposed new hyung, that’s it’s inappropriate to even suggest such a casual honorific, but the words land halfway, drowned out by the sound of the bus motor revving uselessly to keep it from shutting down from old age.</p><p>But it doesn’t matter, he won’t ever see him again, the vampire never comes to the club because he doesn’t go around biting people.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Two days later the vampire is back.</p><p>He comes up to Jisung who’s carrying a heavy crate of drinks, and he grabs it from his arms without a word.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Jisung asks, suddenly self-conscious of his tight clothes and tinted moisturiser, worn to secure some extra tips from generous patrons.</p><p>“This is my clan’s club, why wouldn’t I come here from time to time?” the vampire shoots back, smiling innocently. “And it is ’hyung’, didn’t you hear me last time?”</p><p>“I don’t have the habit of calling random strangers that. Call me a traditionalist.”</p><p>Jisung sees manager Min eyeing up the pair of them from behind the bar counter, arms crossed in the usual fashion that keeps his employees from taking too many liberties under his watch. He needs to get rid of his unwanted admirer, and fast.</p><p>The vampire stops for a second to offer him a courteous bow. It looks funny with his arms full. “Lee Minho. Pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>Jisung sneers, but he’s feeling polite enough to cover his mouth. “Do I have to give you my name?”</p><p>“You don’t, but then I’ll just call you Choco boy. You smell like dark chocolate, did you know that?”</p><p>Jisung sighs and gives the bridge of his nose a firm pinch of frustration. “Please, don’t. I’m Jisung. Han Jisung.” He refrains from bowing, though, and the vampire raises a curious brow.</p><p>“Maybe we got off on the wrong foot,” Minho says with a smile that reveals a couple of his front teeth. It’s as if he’s imitating Jisung’s own expression like a delayed mirror. A lime green beam of light hits his face as they’re nearing the dance floor, and Jisung notices that he doesn’t look quite as sickly as last time. For an inexplicable reason, he feels mildly irritated by the fact.</p><p>“I have to put this in the backroom, Jisung explains with a vague gesture. He opens the heavy door after punching in the four-digit key code. The vampire steps into the dimly lit storage space without hesitation.</p><p>“Everyone is making fun of me for coming here again,” Minho muses.</p><p>“Oh, I wonder why.”</p><p>The vampire puts the crate down and wipes his dusty hands on his thighs even though his trousers look quite expensive.</p><p>“Would you believe me if I told you I don’t really date these days?”</p><p>“I really wouldn’t,” Jisung answers, getting a few bottles of wine from the rack next him.</p><p>They’re so close to each other now, the walls of the storage room almost caving in on them, only the slippery bottles of red wine between them. Minho smells of expensive cologne and something minty. Jisung briefly wonders what use a vampire would have for breath mints and toothpaste.</p><p>Even though they’re right next to the dance floor, the descant is completely cut off by the thick walls and the metal door, leaving only the thrumming bass line audible. It keeps vibrating through their almost-connected bodies. The song playing is recognisable to him – it’s the debut song of a new group with a vampire member. The first one in the short history of idol music. Jisung kind of has a small crush on him.</p><p>Minho does nothing to move.</p><p>Jisung should be scared now. He should leave.</p><p>“Maybe we could be friends. I could be your friendly neighbourhood hyung, and we could go bowling or something else that is appropriately lame.”</p><p>It would be so easy to decline right now, it would be so easy to walk away and tell his manager that a vampire is making him uncomfortable.</p><p>Instead, he goes bowling.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The sex with Minho is almost too good to be true. It often ends with them laying on the bed in a tangle of sweaty sheets and sweatier legs, clutching each other like the other is about to vaporise just because it’s that unbelievable. Jisung often cries from feeling so overwhelmed, and Minho likes to lick the tears off his cheeks with his velvety tongue. He says they taste incredibly good, just like Jisung, like his arousal and desperation condensed into tiny droplets.</p><p>After the bowling date that wasn’t supposed to be a real date at all, it took only a few days before they were frantically making out in opportunely dark corners, pulling each other’s hair and moaning exciting and filthy things. It then evolved into buying stuffed animals and corny keychains as gifts, wearing each other’s clothes like it was the latest trend.</p><p>What they have is an explosive kind of attraction, one where emotion starts creeping into the mix little by little, completely unnoticed. They go on dates a couple of times a week, and on more nights than not it ends up in passionate love-making in some low-profile hotel. When Minho reveals that he doesn’t drink from other humans, Jisung offers his neck along with his body, and it’s so much better than he could’ve ever imagined.</p><p>In the silent hours before dawn they talk about life, about their dreams, and Minho tells how he used to live, what kind of life he had as a wealthy nobleman. Jisung tells about how angry and ambitious he used to be growing up, how alone he felt. He talks about his internet friend in Australia, how the practical stranger saved him from losing all hope when his parents were no longer around.</p><p>Minho buys him lots of food, brings him whole chocolate cakes like it’s nothing. He even calls someone to come and fix Jisung’s heating.</p><p>It’s then that Jisung knows he has irreversibly fallen in love.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>They’ve been together for seven months when everything starts to crumble down. They’re at a hotel, horny and excited, and Minho asks for a quick bite before they have sex.</p><p>The vampire pulls Jisung’s jeans off with a sly smile and starts nosing the inside of his bare thigh. Minho has never bit him there before, but the thought of sharp fangs piercing the tender flesh makes Jisung squirm, hot and buzzing with anticipation.</p><p>Jisung has started touching himself during the feedings. It distracts him from the initial pain, and Minho enjoys seeing him get off.</p><p>“Relax, babe,” Minho says lazily, digging the tip of his fingernail to the blood vessel beneath his skin, feeling up the pulse and flow of blood.</p><p>Jisung’s thigh quivers, but Minho flattens it against the mattress with a firm palm.</p><p>The bite starts as always, painful and sudden, all-consuming, but not quite enough to kill his arousal. He keeps pleasuring himself throughout, the rush of venom going to his head to make him fuzzy and floaty.</p><p>It’s much more intense like this, Minho’s cheek pressed against him, soft hair rubbing all over his sensitive parts. It’s much more like a fluid part of their sex instead of a separate act of foreplay.</p><p>“I feel like I’m on fire,” Jisung manages to gasp, arching his back off the bed. It’s true, he’s burning up with want and need, the sound of his boyfriend swallowing.</p><p>But then, the pleasure spikes into something else, a different kind of burn that shuts off the long nerves in his arms and legs and inside his spine. It’s painful and scary – and he blacks out.</p><p>Jisung wakes up to Minho tapping his cheeks in a frantic manner, calling out his name. His arms are still tingling as he wipes tears away he doesn’t remember spilling.</p><p>They laugh it off, conclude that it was just low blood-sugar, that it was too warm in the room.</p><p>That must have been it.</p><p>Right?</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>A few weeks have passed since the fainting incident. Minho keeps tiptoeing around him, keeps fussing over his ‘condition’. He texts Jisung while he’s at work, to ask if he has eaten properly, if he has drunk enough water. The vampire refuses to feed from him. Refuses to be intimate with him beyond kisses and hugs. Treats him like glass.</p><p>When Jisung  grows frustrated enough, he drags the vampire into a cheap motel, pays for it himself, and then pushes the vampire down onto the mattress and begs Minho to take him.</p><p>“Hyung, I want you,” he says and tries to nuzzle into his neck and imitate a bite with his own, dull teeth.</p><p>Minho pants, hands heavy on Jisung’s body, so very tempted. They’ve never gone this long without sex, not since they started to date properly.</p><p>“Fine, how do you want it?” Minho agrees a little breathlessly.</p><p>“I want you to hold me down,” Jisung asks, eyes feeling dry and itchy, wanting to press them shut but desperate to watch his lover’s face as they make love once again. “Bite me as well, hyung. I can take it.”</p><p>Jisung knows he’s trying to prove something to himself, to prove that he’s still worthy, but he’s too horny to analyse his thoughts any further. Jisung pulls his vampire closer, touching the tips of his fans with gentle fingers. All out and ready for him. “I’m okay, I really am. I took my iron supplement like a good boy even though it tastes like crap.”</p><p>Minho smiles at that, a warm and genuine smile.</p><p>“I love your blood,” he says dreamily. “It tastes like chocolate.”</p><p>Jisung bares his neck, so, so ready. Desperate for it.</p><p>Minho opens his mouth wide, his beautiful beast.</p><p>“I love you.” They both utter the words, but it comes out as one, joint cry.</p><p> </p><p>He wakes up in the hospital twelve hours later.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“Minho was with me when I woke up, holding my hand,” Jisung says with a voice that has died down from emotion, turned into a pathetic whisper. “The doctor looked at me like I had lost my mind or something.”</p><p>“Why didn’t – Jisungie, why didn’t you tell me?” Felix asks after a long period of silence. His voice wavers.</p><p>Jisung shakes his head, refusing to answer. He’s still in the throes of his own story, unable to escape it.</p><p>“I had broken out in ugly hives all over my body, and I had banged my head against something while having some kind of seizure. You know, the ones you might get if you have epilepsy. They had to put me under anaesthesia in order to stabilise my body.” Jisung draws in a shaky breath. “It’s very rare, apparently, but I had developed a fucking vampire venom allergy. I even have this little card that says, ‘no vampires or cats for this sensitive bitch.”</p><p>Jisung starts laughing, an empty boom behind his closed teeth.</p><p>“Don’t call yourself that,” Felix scolds softly, his scent getting sour to Chan’s nose. Both of them are bitter, sour, distressed. The combined negativity is almost too much to handle without getting to touch his human.</p><p>“Why can’t you – just date? Without the feeding thing?” Felix asks, but there’s not much hope in his voice.</p><p>Chan instantly grips Minho’s hand and starts dragging him in the other direction, anywhere else, really. The vampire looks like he’s about to crumble to bits.</p><p>“I’m not sure how much the leader has told you about the other clan members, but Minho hyung – he has had some problems controlling his, you know, <em>thirst</em>.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Jisung is very close to crying again, and Minho’s knees are wobbling. He’s staying upright only thanks to the death grip Chan has on his arm. There’s no way Chan can get him out of hearing range fast enough.</p><p>“We tried, we really tried, multiple times. ‘Let’s start over’, we promised to each other, and every time it would end up in Minho hyung biting his arms, having to hurt himself to hold back, all because of <em>me</em>.” The last word is an outright sob, and it makes Minho sink to the floor, knees knocking against the hardwood, a quiet kind of defeat.</p><p>Chan lowers himself to the floor as well. He hugs the other vampire tightly from behind, keeping him in one piece by sheer force.</p><p>But he can’t block Minho’s ears, can’t protect him from the last words of pain.</p><p>“That’s why we can never be together again.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I threw you a little curve ball there, didn't I?</p><p>Here's my <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you want to hear about my writing-related mental breakdowns ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Pater Noster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know I’ve written two Saturday morning cartoon villains into this story, but it was (mostly) on purpose. I had to make Felix’s homelife awful enough so that he would leave without telling anyone and the kidnapping misunderstanding could happen. With Rosie I wanted to create contrast and show how vampires can be quite ruthless toward humans, and that Chan is an exceptionally humane vampire.   </p><p>This chapter won’t be a magical redemption for the villains – they can flush themselves down the toilet for all I care, but I wanted to give them a tiny bit more screen time to flesh out their motivations. So here we go.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Have a great stay,” the immigration officer wishes with a professionally cheerful smile. Lee Sangtae gives the woman a curt nod and pushes through the automatic gate back to his fatherland.</p><p>Yes, his stay will surely be great. His son has been missing for weeks, possibly injured and forced into slavery. His only son, who likes to wear long earrings that hit him in the cheek when he laughs so hard his whole body shakes. His only son whose smile lights up the entire room as he steps in. His only son who has a weak heart and hands unfit for violence.</p><p>Felix’s mother has been crying like a leaky faucet, a constant trickle of sorrow flowing silently down her face, settling into the ever deepening crevices around her mouth. Felix’s sisters are mad at Sangtae, for being left in the dark, for seeing the uneasy sadness hovering thickly in the air. They have no knowledge of the kidnapping – they’ve been told that Felix left for the internship a little early, and that their mother merely misses him. Sangtae himself hasn’t spilled a single tear, and he doesn’t plan to, not before he sees his son’s dead cold body on the ground. Any other outcome is still fixable, still within his reach to purchase with money, to rectify with influence and power.</p><p><em>Please come back to me alive, my son</em>.</p><p>Rosie hasn’t been in contact in days, not after promising to extract Felix safely, after telling him that she had a solid plan. Sangtae is not a stupid man nor is he naive. It’s very possible that the Parks, the cunning supernaturals they are, have went behind his back in some way or another.</p><p>It was probably a grave mistake to think that Rosie could handle the opposing vampires better than Sangtae himself, knowing her character. She moved from Australia to Seoul a little over a year ago, burned through the vampire circles of the city like wildfire and quickly rose to power by taking over a temporarily weakened clan that Sangtae had been associated with for over a decade. All that with the support of three loyal friends.  </p><p>Forming business relations with the new leader was an arduous process, but it eventually paid off. He realised that having someone so erratic and conniving at his disposal expanded Sangtae’s influence over the Korean operations – seeing that there’s not much a moderate amount of violence and coercion cannot solve. Sangtae even thought it might do some good to introduce Rosie and her clan to Felix, to see if her brutal practicality would be able to pluck the idealistic softness out of his son.</p><p>What he never expected was that deepening ties to one clan would greatly anger the others. He’s almost amazed by Bang Chan’s audacity to approach him with open arms and some made-up business plan about a new club, just to stab him in the back immediately after. What still gnaws Sangtae’s insides is the fact that he doesn’t know if Bang broke into their home and took Felix from his own bed, or if he snatched him from the street with drugs and violence.</p><p>Rosie told him that Felix has become a blood slave to the Bangs. One quick and nauseating google search later Sangtae determined that it is an old and illegal practice where a human is held captive and fed certain foods to keep the taste of the blood pure, regardless of the victim’s well-being and nutritional needs.</p><p>Even at this moment Felix could be under some horrifying creature, getting his life drained out of him bit by bit. Or worse, Sangtae knows all too well that his son was blessed with good genetics. It would take only one of them to have such inclinations and Felix would be stripped of his dignity faster than –</p><p>Bile burning at the back of his throat, Sangtae spends the tiring taxi ride to the Park clan headquarters surrounded by the sounds of traffic and the endless sea of people and flashes of colour blurring together. It’s a remainder of why he wouldn’t ever move back to Korea. In Sydney he is in full control, in his comfort zone. In Seoul he can only protect himself by dropping a trail of money and promises in his wake. It’s not real respect if it’s only as broad as his wallet is wide.</p><p>The grandiose mansion has been remodelled to match Rosie’s extravagant taste. It used to be the typical brooding vampire lair, slightly repulsing in its attempt to flaunt the status and influence of the residents. Rosie has turned it into the grotesque image of a princess castle. Seeing the vampire in real life for the first time in months, surrounded by her pastels and bright lights is yet another surprise, though. Rosie’s makeup is flawless as always, hiding most traces of her vampirism that she’s so ashamed of, but her eyes gleam red, and they have the same empty quality to them Sangtae sometimes sees when he glances in the mirror while brushing his teeth. An inevitable consequence to leading a certain kind of life.</p><p>She wordlessly greets Sangtae with a small bow, or rather, a bob of her head. There’s another vampire in the room as well, a dark-haired female whom he has met once before. Sangtae doesn’t pay attention to her at first, but suddenly the vampire shifts on the pink sofa and stands up with a wince. Something cold and acidic sloshes at the bottom of his belly as he takes in the sight, clear evidence of the fact that he’s in way over his head meddling in intervampirical affairs.</p><p>Her entire left hand has vanished from the elbow down.</p><p>Rosie follows Sangtae’s bewildered gaze with an expression that could be interpreted as mild irritation.</p><p>“I suspected you might come for a visit,” Rosie says, her voice clear and void of the nebulous emotion plastered across her face.</p><p>“I regret that we couldn’t save your son. There were some – complications.” She gestures her manicured hand in round movements, pointing at the brunette who is still cradling the remaining stub of her arm.</p><p>“What happened after we last spoke?” Sangtae demands.</p><p>“We were trying to rescue little Felix, already had him in our custody, but then got viciously attacked during transit. Jisoo here was protecting Lixie, and a younger vampire managed to catch her off-guard. He tore her arm off with his teeth.”</p><p>Jisoo flinches, and her eyes dart to the floor in something akin to shame.</p><p>Rosie lifts her gaze from her friend to meet Sangtae’s. “Bang Chan killed one of my trusted advisors in cold blood and then dragged Lix back to his ugly lair. We’ve been recouping ever since.”</p><p>Sangtae would have no way of knowing if Rosie is lying to him. She is clearly batting her eyelashes to gain extra sympathy, but she has none of the obvious nervous tics of a liar.</p><p>But then –</p><p>Lix. Lixie.</p><p>She must’ve met his son at least once, which means the story is fabricated to some extent. No one uses nicknames of people they’ve only seen a yearbook picture of.</p><p>“Why didn’t you contact me?”</p><p>“I didn’t want to worry you too much. And besides, the situation was quite chaotic with Lisa’s untimely death and Jisoo’s injury. My clan members have been restless, and I’ve had to take care of them and my position as their leader.”</p><p>Sangtae clasps his wrist behind his back. If they were all humans, he would’ve already utilised his normal tactics to force the unedited truth out of them. He’s not used to fumbling in the dark like a fool.</p><p>“You’re getting agitated,” Rosie points out as he picks at the hem of her lavender blouse. She reaches for her desk and pulls a small glass bowl forward. “You should take a strawberry sweet. Even though I don’t need to eat, I quite enjoy the taste.”</p><p>Sangtae unclenches his hand with some difficulty. Rosie’s words have a precarious ring to them. “Did anyone come to contact with Felix?”</p><p>Rosie tilts her head. It creates a weird shadow across her face with the stark lighting in the room. “From what I’ve gathered, Felix seems to be quite confused. He didn’t exactly fight back when the Bangs took him back. But I’m sure that in time – he will surely come to his senses.”</p><p>Is this the truth slipping through? Or is it an extension of a good lie, offering more details to make it seem more credible?</p><p>“Thank you for your information,” Sangtae forces out. His lungs feel deflated and heavy at the same time. “I’ll stay here for a while to monitor the situation, try to figure out the next course of action.”  </p><p>In reality, his options are few. The human police force is afraid of vampires as much as the next person, and he doesn’t have time to wait for Rosie to get her band of thugs back under control.</p><p>Sangtae returns the small bow from earlier and turns to leave. He catches a glimpse of Rosie picking up a sweet, examining it between her slender fingers as if it’s something valuable.</p><p>For an inexplicable reason, it sends a shudder down his spine.</p><p>The plan finalises in his mind that night, in the taxi back to the hotel. He hates it, hates how it’s based on slim probabilities and assumptions, but he made a vow to his wife to bring Felix back, and he’s going to keep that promise even if it results in his own death.</p><p>Sangtae orders a three-course meal from room service. Eating steak and five different kinds of puree makes him feel like a death row prisoner enjoying his last meal before a painful execution. To drown out the thought, he knocks back a huge glass of bourbon and falls into the bed, fully clothed and the burn of alcohol on his lips. He lies in bed for hours, still, staring at the ceiling and thinking about how much of a blessing and a curse it was to go into business with vampires in the first place.</p><p>He’s now a cornered animal for the first time in his life – but he’s also Lee Sangtae.</p><p>And Lee Sangtae isn’t afraid.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>A few days have passed since the trip to the police station, a few days since Minho went back to his post-breakup gloominess. It’s a real shame, because he was doing so much better again, smiling and joking around and being a figurative and literal pain in the ass to everyone around him.</p><p>Changbin finds Chan sitting at his desk with an old book splayed open in front of him. He seems to be lazily skimming over the words, as if they are familiar to him already. Even though the sight is awfully domestic, a novel rush of heat licks up Changbin’s spine as soon as he lays his eyes on the other vampire.</p><p>Chan’s mere existence is a constant reminder of the fateful day of declarations, of how they dutifully waited for Felix to wake up from his post-feeding nap. As was agreed upon, Felix got to be a witness to their first ever sexual encounter. It was unbelievably awkward, a sloppy hand job with Chan’s palm wrapped around the both of them, spit as a sorry excuse for lubricant because they were in a rampant hurry to just <em>touch</em>. They had their foreheads pressed together throughout, eyes shut tight to make up for the weirdness. It was even more embarrassing when Changbin came with a high-pitched whine and mushed his entire face against Chan’s because he almost couldn’t take it.</p><p>Felix seemed overjoyed by their little performance. He clapped his floppy little hands as the two vampires tried to clean themselves up with some tissues to save at least some of their combined dignity. Felix crawled to them across the bed on all fours like a coquettish little thing and kissed them both on the lips, tasting of vanilla ice cream and sleep. He then said in a completely serious voice that he’s “lucky for having the most handsome boyfriends in the world”.</p><p>Upon hearing the words, Chan jumped their human and covered every bit of exposed skin in wet and messy kisses. Changbin made Felix repeat himself five time until he was able to believe his own ears.</p><p>Their reaction was unexpected, as it should be such a redundant word for vampires, well below clan member and human companion in rank, but it turned both of them into a puddle of goo, because they knew how much a term like that would mean to a young human such as Felix.</p><p>Which means that Changbin now has two boyfriends. They’ve kissed and fooled around and said they like each other. They’ve seen each other’s dicks and concluded that said dicks are nice.</p><p>It’s some serious progress after two centuries of unfiltered idiocy.</p><p>But then the whole Minho and Jisung fiasco happened; Jisung a sobbing mess and Minho on the floor resembling a wet rag, and Felix overwhelmed and caught in the middle of everything.</p><p>Felix also had to go down to the police station to give his testimony in his distressed state. The detective in charge of the case bombarded Felix with dozens of invasive questions about his injury, demanding to know why he had been outside without proper clothes in such a cold weather and why he had no known address for long periods of time. They even took Felix to a room all by himself, probably to ask the same questions all over again to make sure he wasn’t being coerced in any way.</p><p>In the end the police couldn’t do much, though. Felix feigned complete ignorance, saying that the fight on the street was a random attack and that he only wanted to help Changbin by slicing his own wrist open. Chan and Changbin both testified that Felix was in a feeding contract with them, and that he was in the process of getting legally recognised as a full clan member. The police could only fine him for accepting employment without a working visa and ask for him to call if he remembered anything else.</p><p>When Felix returned home, he seemed quieter and more tired than usual, napping in his room for hours, talking to Jisung in hushed voices. Chan asked Changbin to give him some time to heal, to process what kind of trauma he had experienced in the hands of the Parks. Chan told him that he was looking into therapists specialised in vampire matters, just in case Felix or Jisung would want to talk to a professional about their experiences.</p><p>Changbin is stirred from his deep thoughts as Chan finally acknowledges his presence. The vampire lifts his gaze from the book, mouth twitching to maybe smile or form a greeting of some kind.  </p><p>“Hey, Channie hyung,” Changbin says in a with a pathetically tiny wave of his hand.</p><p>The book on his desk emits the heady scent of old, yellowed paper. Chan’s fingers rest delicately at the edge of the page. Changbin fixes his gaze there, on the English words printed in an Antiqua style font.  </p><p>It’s still a little awkward. New.</p><p>Chan smiles as Changbin closes the door behind him with a final-sounding thud. He’s here on a mission after all, to have a conversation that has to be held, without Felix and without burning rage to cloud their judgements.</p><p>“Take a seat, Bin,” Chan says in a mellow tone. He looks soft and messy and unfinished at the edges just like his old book. He’s wearing a knitted beanie that swallows his head whole. It’s kind of cute.</p><p>On a whim, Changbin stalks around the massive desk and positions himself sideways across Chan’s lap. The other vampire sucks in a sharp breath, eyes flickering wildly from side to side. They have never done this before, Changbin realises with slight panic.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Changbin mouths without sound. Chan’s legs under him are firm and strong.</p><p>“Sure,” Chan replies after a moment of silence. He leans into the backrest to examine Changbin’s face properly, dark eyes washing over Changbin’s face like night rain.</p><p>“It’s not weird?”</p><p>Chan chuckles, a little burst of air through closed teeth. “Very weird.”</p><p>Changbin frowns. He tries to scramble back to his feet, but a strong hand circling his waist makes him freeze.</p><p>“It’s so weird, but I want to get used to it,” Chan murmurs, “I want to be able to just hold you like this, comfortably.”</p><p>“Comfortably?” Changbin hums, tone slightly on the side of teasing.</p><p>Chan laughs again, a bit more audibly, releasing some built-up embarrassment. He leans in to press the tip of his nose against Changbin’s neck, tracing his way down to the hollow of his throat. Chan inhales deeply as if he could catch a strong human scent from his skin. Playing pretend feels kind of nice.</p><p>Nice quickly turns into something else as Chan nips at the side of his neck. Changbin is sure it’s part Chan showing off, showing that he <em>can</em> do it, part actual desire. Chan’s fangs are a tiny bit extended, he can feel them grazing his skin. Changbin gives into the unnatural urge to tilt his head back with another vampire’s fangs on his neck, which makes Chan curse under his breath. It sounds awfully similar to “fucking hot”.</p><p>“We are a pair of fumbling idiots without Lixie around to put us in our place,” Changbin says with a loud sigh. Chan’s wet mouth and the sting of teeth on his skin feel so good that he has to suppress a violent shudder. He closes his eyes for a brief second to indulge in the sensual touch.</p><p>Chan pulls away with a wet pop of his lips, and Changbin can’t help but plant a tiny kiss on his glistening mouth. Chan flashes him a blinding smile, and Changbin’s insides flutter with a swarm of thin-winged moths.</p><p>“What were you reading?” Changbin asks to distract himself.</p><p>Chan puts his forefinger under the cover of the book and flips it shut to show him the faded lettering. “I have had this in my collection for a long time, and I always find myself coming back to it. ‘The Vampyre’ by John Polidori. Did you know he was Lord Byron’s personal physician, and that the vampire in this story is actually based on him?”</p><p>“I don’t know who any of those people are,” Changbin complains with a huff. “Is it any good?”</p><p>Chan hums indecisively. “It’s a piece of gothic fiction. As such it’s filled to the brim with queer subtext. I find it fascinating how humans seemingly decided that our species is the embodiment of gayness.”</p><p>“But we <em>are</em> pretty gay, aren’t we?”</p><p>Changbin earns a breathy laugh and a poke on his temple for his troubles. “I never said they were wrong. Humans can be quite the observant creatures, just look at Felix.”</p><p>Changbin straightens his back at the mention of Felix, reminded of why he came looking for Chan in the first place. “Chan hyung – shouldn’t we talk about what we’re going to do about this whole situation?”</p><p>Chan furrows his brow, but his tight grip on Changbin’s waist doesn’t ease up. “I don’t know, Binnie. As much as I want to gift Felix a pair of earrings made of Chaeyoung’s fangs, it wouldn’t be worth it to attack her straight on. Even though I killed one of her underlings, and Seungmin did a number on Jisoo, I’m not willing to risk any of my members for a simple revenge.”</p><p>Changbin tries to look offended. “Why do you always think I’m up for mindless violence?”</p><p>“It wouldn’t be that mindless,” Chan says darkly. “If and when the opportunity presents itself, I will duel her to death.”</p><p>Changbin is surprised by his resolute tone. A sliver of worry joins the small-scale upheaval already raging in his gut. Changbin wraps his arms around Chan and squeezes tight, tight, until the other vampire starts gasping and wriggling in his hold.</p><p>Changbin captures his mouth and swallows Chan’s complaints and his own fears as if they are the sweetest, most delicious kind of blood.  </p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The doorbell rings at an odd hour. It’s barely past sundown, and Changbin is in the kitchen knocking back a glass of donated blood. Even though nothing matches Felix in taste, two vampires simply can’t rely on a single human for sustenance.</p><p>“I’ll get the door,” Chan calls out from the hallway, but Changbin follows the source of the sound anyway. He hopes it would be Jeongin dropping by early to deliver the new rice cooker he asked for. The old one has a habit of turning off at random if left unattended, which is unacceptable now that there are two humans living under their roof. It’s unclear of course how much longer Jisung will stay, seeing that he and Minho seem to have reached somewhat of an impasse, avoiding each other like the plague. Jisung sleeps in Felix’s room, and the two of them spend almost every waking moment together. Jisung says he would be too lonely in his small flat, so no one has the heart to ask him to leave, and Felix would probably kick their asses if anyone dared to try.</p><p>Changbin steps into the hallway, smiling already, thinking about all the delicious dishes he can cook for Felix, when his entire world flips over in a violent somersault.</p><p>A man he has never seen before is standing in the doorway, face completely blank and eyes fixed on Chan in what is nothing short of a silent challenge. The man looks harmless, he’s short and unremarkable with black hair and a tall nose that holds a pair of thin-framed glasses. He’s wearing a typical businessman’s attire, a charcoal grey suit with matching vest and tie.</p><p>But his scent – it hits him like a truck, saccharine and sticky – <em>overripe</em> <em>strawberry</em>.</p><p>Chan inhales the overpowering and painfully familiar scent so aggressively that Changbin can hear his sternum crackling from where he’s standing. The vampire sways to the side, tilting his head to scent and assess danger, readying himself for action. He is bending his knees, curling his fingers to resemble claws, and Changbin notices that he is mirroring the action.</p><p>Fucking hell. This can’t be happening. He and Chan are going to lose it.</p><p>They are going to fucking murder a human being and dance on his grave.</p><p>What will Felix say?</p><p>“You have a lot of nerve to appear here before me,” Chan growls, and the voice he produces is so menacing, so terrifying that Changbin’s blood solidifies in his veins, even though the words aren’t directed at him.  </p><p>The man doesn’t react to Chan’s taunt. He has one foot inside the house, as if he’s mostly scared that Chan would slam the door in his face before he can get inside.</p><p>Changbin snaps his head to the side at the sound of footsteps behind him. It’s a bewildered Seungmin in house slippers with a glossy magazine pinned under his arm.</p><p>“Hey, Min,” Changbin calls out in a voice that is not his – it’s distant and cold and empty as a tin can. “Would you check on our ttalgi upstairs, maybe keep him company for a little while.”</p><p>Seungmin sniffs the air, finding the offending fruitiness and barely attempting to hide the ugly revelation plastered on his normally gentle features. The rest of the vampires have only heard the short version of Felix’s unpleasant upbringing, but it mustn’t be too hard to read the room with Chan and Changbin as tense as coiled copper.</p><p>“Yeah, I – I’ll go right away,” Seungmin says, voice cracking a bit. He runs up the stairs two steps at a time, throwing them questioning looks over his shoulder.</p><p>Chan takes a step back as if he’s trying to prevent himself from lunging to attack. Unfortunately, the man takes it as invitation to come in.</p><p>“Have you turned mute?” Chan asks.</p><p>The man tilts his head in the same way Chan did only moments before. “<em>You</em> have a lot of nerve to speak in that way after kidnapping my son.”</p><p>“Ah, as expected. Park Chaeyoung’s loyalty wasn’t the long-lasting kind after all, seeing that she’s already spewing lies to cover for her own mistakes.” Chan’s fangs are fully out, pressing against his bottom lip sharp and pearly white, but he doesn’t have much of a lisp.</p><p>Lee Sangtae’s eyes get sharper, his brows flattening in thought. The expression is so much like Felix’s that the resemblance is frightening. “We must talk.”</p><p>Changbin takes a step forward, mind racing. If he ripped Sangtae’s neck open, would he taste just like Felix, too? Would he be able to swallow it down, or would his blood pool on the floor just like his own father’s had years ago.</p><p>“I don’t have anything to talk to you about,” Chan states.</p><p>“Ten minutes, Bang. Give me ten minutes,” Sangtae says in English all of a sudden. His voice deepens to a softer, lower register.</p><p>Chan seems to at least consider his plea. He licks over the tip of his fang, clearly fantasising about spilled blood just like Changbin, but still, the man doesn’t even flinch.</p><p>“You’ll get five. Changbin, stay with me so that I don’t snap his neck after three.”</p><p>Changbin opens his mouth to show his own aching fangs. “I won’t be of much help.”</p><p>“A pity, then,” Chan replies eyes flicking over to the man in distaste. “Are you still coming?”</p><p>Sangtae nods resolutely sees himself to the living room without sparing them a nervous glance. He sits down onto the sofa closest to the door and crosses his legs in a casual manner as if they’re about to have a business negotiation over some coffee and biscuits.  </p><p>Chan and Changbin follow the man, arms brushing against each other, seeking for strength to bear the ridiculous situation <em>somehow</em>. Changbin’s only solace is knowing that he was quick enough to prevent Felix from strolling down the stairs to witness this horrifying shitshow.</p><p>“Tell me, why is Felix here? Why was he seen with you earlier as well?” Sangtae asks without preamble. It doesn’t go unnoticed that the man no longer speaks of a kidnapping.</p><p>“I’m <em>glad</em> to be the bearer of bad news, but he ran away from home. I’m sure you can figure out why,” Chan answers, grinding his teeth together so loudly that Changbin thinks he might go deaf from the sound.</p><p>“You seriously expect me to believe that you just <em>happened</em> to leave Sydney simultaneously with my son, who just <em>decided</em> to leave the country without his phone or his credit cards, even his clothes. And then he still managed to meet you out of pure coincidence and ended up as your blood slave.” Sangtae spits out the last words, and Changbin sees red, spit and fresh venom frothing in his mouth. Blood slavery is a disgusting, archaic habit, and having Chan accused of such torture is appalling.</p><p>Chan doesn’t react to the horrible accusation. “I have granted you five minutes. If you want to argue about probabilities and the inner life of your son, which you really should know better than you seem to do, you’re more than welcome to waste your time that way. But I know you to be an obnoxiously smart man, so I’m sure you won’t anger me further like that.”</p><p>“Where’s Felix? I wish to see my son,” Lee Sangtae says right after Chan has stopped talking. His hands are clasped over his knee. Changbin wonders if they would tremble otherwise.</p><p>Chan bares his teeth at the request. “I will not allow it. You have caused him enough trauma as it is.”</p><p>“Trauma?”</p><p>“I’m sure Chaeyoung’s story didn’t add up, you wouldn’t be here otherwise. Your son ran away because he loathed having to live as you wanted him to. If you’re even half as intelligent as Felix, I’m sure you can fill in the gaps yourself.”</p><p>Sangtae swallows laboriously. Unlike Felix, who goes sour when distressed, Sangtae becomes an even more pungent version of himself, sickly sweet and syrupy.</p><p>“Who are you to choose for him if he wants to see his father or not?”</p><p>Changbin notices Chan’s expression getting gloomier, darker. It’s a dangerous mix of raw disdain and self-doubt.</p><p>“That’s because I am his clan leader as much as I’m his – boyfriend. I have an inherent need to protect him from harm.”</p><p>It looks as if Sangtae’s eyes are about to bulge out of his head. ”B–boyfriend?”</p><p>“Me too,” Changbin interjects. “It’s kind of recent.”</p><p>“We won’t be calling you father-in-law though,” Chan adds.</p><p> Seeing Sangtae’s gaze dart wildly between the two vampires is like a hit of pure opium to Changbin. The horrified expression on the human’s face makes him wonder, if the man finds these news even worse than the rumoured kidnapping.</p><p>“You two leeches. You want to decide for Felix, too. You want to control him.”</p><p>“We don’t control him. We protect him from unnecessary pain,” Changbin says, words slurring together behind his throbbing fangs.</p><p>“You cause him plenty of pain with your filthy teeth.”</p><p>Chan draws in a large gulp of air. His tongue is curling against the roof of his mouth, perhaps trying to stop the words from coming. He fails.</p><p>“But you see, <em>he likes it</em>.”</p><p>Changbin chokes on nothing but the carbon dioxide bursting out of his lungs by force. He clutches the back of Chan’s hand, over the bone-white knuckles, but he doesn’t know who exactly he’s trying to calm down with the action.</p><p>Felix’s father springs up from his seat and marches to where Chan is seated, eyes burning like hot coals. He raises his hand back and slaps Chan across the cheek with all his human strength. Chan does nothing to stop him, his only reaction being a tiny curl of his lips. Changbin lets out an instinctual hiss even though he knows that Sangtae can do nothing to hurt Chan.  </p><p>”As suspected,” Chan says, “you’re a fly who thinks himself a dragon. You come to my lair, uninvited and unwelcome, and you attack the master of the house after one half-hearted jab.”</p><p>Sangtae stands in front of them, frozen still by the words. His eyes are blown wide, hand still raised and the centre of his palm swelling red from the impact. Changbin would like to kiss Chan right now. Maybe he should, just to aggravate the human further, cause him to give the vampires more reasons to fuck him up.</p><p>“But Sangtae,” Chan continues without honorifics, “you are a proper fool for thinking that I don’t have fangs like any other vampire. You’re in no place to make demands like these, not after we have provided you with ample clarifications about the nature of our relationship with Felix.”</p><p>Chan raises to his feet until he hovers over the short human, a clean display of asserting dominance without any of the traditional vampire posturing.</p><p>Changbin stays sitting because he knows his place, he knows Chan has to earn this victory by himself. It’s the clan leader’s job to handle threats like this. Changbin is essentially his second, the one who would take up the fight if Chan was dead or too injured to keep fighting.</p><p>“Did he really say he hated it back home?” Sangtae asks in a small voice before catching himself.</p><p>Neither of them answer, they let the man soak in the lukewarm soup of his own misery.</p><p>Sangtae finally lowers his hand and his eyes along with it. “I love my son very much. I need to make him strong so that he survives in the real world.”</p><p>Changbin’s still heart twitches at the gravity of the words. “Your problem is that you couldn’t see how strong Felix already was. You have such a narrow perspective on what’s strong and weak, or good and bad. You didn’t realise what a wonderful son you already had in front of you.”</p><p>Sangtae cowers further, curls in on himself, but he speaks in a steady voice. “I can see you’ve grown attached to my son. Give him back, and I’ll help you destroy the Parks. I have handled the clan’s finances for years, long before the current leader. If you give me some time, I can ruin them financially.”</p><p>“Felix is not mine to give away. How many times do I need to tell you he’s here of his own free will? And secondly, you’re once again projecting your own motivations on someone you don’t know in the slightest. Vampires have their own ways of settling matters.” Chan’s voice is absolutely icy.</p><p>“You’re a businessman too, Bang. You must understand this. My company has a turnover of 400 million dollars a year. We turn a hefty profit from that sum with some smart tax planning. Felix is to inherit that business in a few short years. He doesn’t have time for vampire boyfriends.” Sangtae stares at his shiny dress shoes as he speaks. “I’m doing what’s best for his future. He has nothing here in Korea. No relatives, no education. This is a cutthroat society. If and when you grow tired of him and kick him out on the streets, he’ll have no safety net whatsoever. I am able to give him the world – in fact it is my duty as a father to make sure that is the case.”</p><p>“Even if we decided to stop being romantically involved at some point, the clan bond is still permanent. I will always want to protect Felix, I will want to make sure he eats well and lives well. If he has dreams for the future, I’ll do everything under my power to help him achieve them. And if Felix wants to leave us to live on his own, he can just walk out the door and never look back. We would still await his return and welcome him back with open arms if he chose to re-join his clan.”</p><p>Chan interrupts his monologue to extend his arm for a handshake. Sangtae looks at the limb as if it's an alien object.</p><p>“I will offer you this promise as an olive branch, only due to the unfortunate fact that the blood of <em>my human</em> runs through your veins. Now leave my house and swallow your defeat like the pathetic little man you are, and you’ll walk away unscathed. Or alternatively, I can feed you to four hungry vampires. It's your choice, Sangtae.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How <strike>not at all</strike> likely is it that Felix is happy just chilling upstairs with Seungmin as his boyfriends handle the big boy business?</p><p>Also, I’m sorry for the random lecture on early vampire fiction. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot while writing this fic. </p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you can stand an unorganised mess of BTS and SKZ content!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Uncharted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to do one more mood board to set the tone for the last six chapters. I also redid the one for the first chapter to better match how the fic turned out to be – so you can check it out as well if you enjoy looking at visuals. </p><p>This chapter has a lot of awkward (yet hot?) exploration between our main trio. If you don’t care for steamy stuff and only want the plot, you can safely skim over the second half of this chapter. To the rest of you: ENJOY!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> [mood board #3]</p><p> </p><p>It’s quiet in the room, dust particles glimmering in the air as a narrow beam of light hits them from the small table lamp.</p><p>Felix is sitting in front of the small desk that was brought down from the attic per his request. The wooden surface has a few dents, signs of love and use. It also holds most of the possessions Felix has accumulated over his time in Seoul; a tub of fancy face cream he bought to treat himself after getting his first wages from the club, some leather-bound notebooks for him to doodle in, Changbin’s old laptop for internet. He mostly wears clothes from his boyfriends’ closets and uses their toiletries like a partially symbiotic parasite, but the two vampires seem to enjoy seeing him prance around in oversized sweaters. They say he smells absolutely delightful when mixed with their subtle vampire scents. Felix is a bit sad that he can’t smell the combination of all three of them on his skin.</p><p>The room he’s staying in is still not quite his – something between a guest room and his own little nook, but at least he feels safe in the space. The bed is soft and wide enough for him and Jisung to cuddle in. He has soft pillows and blankets in all the colours of the rainbow, and a weird plushie that has rabbit’s ears and a pig’s tail. No one admits to buying them for him, no matter how loudly he complains. it’s a mystery just like the socks that appear in his drawer to haunt him – but secretly Felix is grateful for the kind soul who tries to make him feel more comfortable in their own way.</p><p>Felix is browsing the internet, but his eyes won’t focus on the screen in front of him. He keeps staring at the dust, swirling and spiralling, falling but never settling completely. He feels that way during the day, like a speck of dust bouncing in the air unaffected by gravity. He starts wondering about things, building intricate scenarios in his head. He imagines slipping out of his bed, tiptoeing over the cold hardwood floor and into Chan’s bedroom. He wonders if the vampire could keep his hands to himself after finding a warm human in his bed. Or maybe he would go to Changbin and wake him up with some lousy excuse of a scary dream, slip under the covers and then attack teeth first like a vampire. The only thing anchoring him to reality is Jisung huffing and puffing next to him, pale and exhausted from crying as Felix lies awake lost in his imagination.</p><p>He could do all that, in theory. The three of them talked about boundaries and concluded that they could sleep in the same bed if they wanted, could hug and kiss and ‘engage in sexual acts’, as Chan had quite pompously worded it. But the situation with Jisung is dire, so Felix needs to give his friend some time to heal, he needs to be there for his support. The vampires apparently have the same thoughts, as they are warm and gentle with him as always, but the last time they did something sexual together was before Jisung and Minho’s situation.</p><p>Felix is left with nothing but his fantasies, having tasted sex with vampires all too briefly and left utterly unsatisfied, which in turn makes his fabricated stories more and more intricate as the nights pass. His newest one starts in Chan’s bedroom, which Felix has never even visited. His boyfriend is asleep, looking still and dead as vampires tend to do without their reflex to keep breathing while unconscious. In his fantasy Felix climbs on top of Chan so that he can stir awake to Felix straddling his hips.</p><p>The vampire would be all sleepy and flustered, and Felix would use that ruthlessly to his advantage. He would tease Chan with his body as if he knew something about the art of seduction, and he would keep going until the vampire caved in. Felix would try to keep oh so very quiet, biting into the cotton of the pillows while writhing under Chan’s touch, trying to get away, lean into it, urge him to grip his hips so that he would get a line of bruises going down from his hipbones all the way to his thighs like symmetrical tattoos.</p><p>Felix would eventually cry out into to the pillow and wake Changbin up from his slumber. The other vampire would come through the door with his hair sleep-messy, and he would complain and pout about being left out, and he would take Chan’s place before Felix had any time to recuperate, making him cry for real from sheer overstimulation. Changbin would kiss him, whisper something possessive and maybe a bit filthy into his ear, and say he likes when Felix cries from how good it is.</p><p>His fantasies always leave hanging in the air, with his cheeks burning hot, little insects crawling under his skin that is stretched thin over twitching muscles and sharp bones. He feels constant guilt over getting so riled up with suffering Jisung lying next to him, oblivious to the waves of burning arousal rolling over his body like he’s some kind of animal in heat.</p><p>Felix picks up a pencil from the holder on the desk and absent-mindedly bites into the tiny rubber at the end. Now that he’s thinking these things in his waking hours as well –</p><p>There’s a sharp knock on his door.</p><p>Felix lifts his gaze from the screen and the dust dancing behind it, shouting a distracted “come in”. He thinks it must be either Chan or Changbin, because his boyfriends are still too polite to realise that they could stroll in like they own the place. Felix isn’t hiding from them in his room – he is simply trying to minimise his temptations.</p><p>The door flies open to reveal an unexpected visitor.</p><p>Felix tries not to show his surprise, instead he curls his lips into a controlled smile.</p><p>“Ah, Seungmin. What brings you here?” He always finds himself speaking in an overly polite tone to the vampire who is technically the same age as him. It’s complicated, and even the vampires think so. The only title everyone agrees on is that Chan is everyone’s hyung.</p><p>Seungmin steps in quickly and without a word,  pushing the door shut behind him. He’s fisting a rolled up magazine in his left hand.</p><p>“You going to smack someone with that?” Felix questions with a raised brow.</p><p>Seungmin looks down, and suddenly he seems utterly horrified. The vampire smooths out the cover with shaky fingers, but the magazine has been squeezed with such force that it refuses to flatten out fully. Seungmin seems oddly distraught by the fact.</p><p>“No, I didn’t realise I was –“</p><p>“Is everything okay?” Felix asks after it becomes evident that Seungmin isn’t going to complete his sentence.</p><p>The vampire blinks a few times. He’s inhaling, nostrils flared, as if Felix’s human scent comes as a huge surprise to him. “Everything is – fine.”</p><p>Felix closes the lid of his laptop. He was scrolling through some makeup sites for a clear lip-gloss he sometimes used to wear back in Australia, and he doesn’t need Seungmin of all people unveiling his secret for extra plump lips. And besides, he kind of wants to surprise his vampires with it.</p><p>“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Seungmin breathes out.</p><p>A faint alarm bell starts ringing at the back of Felix’s head, but he doesn’t know what it is warning him of. He cautiously points at his bed. “Have a seat,” he says.</p><p>Seungmin walks across the room on shaky legs and slumps onto the colourful bedcovers in a heap of nervous vampire.</p><p>“Felix,” he starts, emphasising his name in an odd way, “I’m glad that you’re a part of this clan. We’ve never had a human member before, and we’re all very excited about it.”</p><p>Despite his suspicions, Felix feels his heart flutter a little, a pleasant thrum of unexpected happiness. Seungmin seems a bit embarrassed by Felix’s positive reaction, but he continues anyway.</p><p>“I know we can seem a bit – unwelcoming toward strangers, but that’s only because it has been just us for so many years, you know.” Seungmin fiddles with the edge of a sky blue quilt partly pinned under his butt. It’s the same one Felix curled under with Jisung to watch an Avengers movie last night. “Anyway, I’m sorry if we haven’t shown it to you enough, that we all like you.”</p><p>“Honestly speaking, I should probably thank you,” Felix counters with a smile.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“When you talked to the manager at the club… about me.”</p><p>Seungmin grimaces a little. “Look – it was crude of me to say those things without considering whether –“</p><p>Felix raises his palm. “If I hadn’t heard you talking about the fifty million, I would’ve never met this clan I now call mine. And you’ve never been rude to me, not to my face at least. I hope we can be friends from now on.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Seungmin says with an unusual amount of affection. “Out of curiosity, how much was Chan going to pay you for the full two weeks?”</p><p>Felix drums the surface of the desk with the pads of his fingers. He likes the dull thud it makes.</p><p>“Triple that sum.” Felix chuckles to himself. “I still have trouble understanding the scope of his wealth, or your wealth, I mean. I talked to Jeongin yesterday and asked if I could get some new t-shirts. I think he ordered me a whole new wardrobe without even consulting hyung about it.”</p><p>“It’s your wealth, too,” Seungmin insists. “Jeongin has been informed of that.”</p><p>“That’s just not fair.”</p><p>Seungmin snickers. “Nothing about Chan’s wealth is fair. He was born before the creation of the stock market, so he has had quite a long time to rake in profits from his investments. He has grown completely desensitised to the amount of wealth he has. You don’t need to cry over blowing some of his money. He loves spoiling us, too, and we’re not even his lovers.”</p><p>Felix tries his best not to blush tomato red.</p><p>“Was this the thing you wanted to talk about so urgently?” he asks to change the subject.</p><p>“Uhh, I guess.”</p><p>Felix nods, the uneasy feeling from earlier settling in his gut again. “Okay, good talk then. I was going to go downstairs and play some Go Stop with Hyunjin and Jisung. Would you like to join us? I used to suck at it, but they have been great teachers.”</p><p>Seungmin springs up from the bed like a professional ski jumper, his feet hitting the floor below with a loud thump.</p><p>”Is everything alright?” Felix asks for the second time, voice sharp to his own ears.</p><p>Turns out that despite his considerable age, Seungmin is the worst liar in the history of possibly ever. “Of course not!” he squeaks.</p><p>“Is Jisung okay? Or are my hyungs –“</p><p>“Everything is fine. I just <em>really</em> wanted to talk to you,” Seungmin says a little breathlessly.</p><p>Felix blows air through his nose in irritation and worry. “You just wanted to talk? I’m going downstairs to check for myself.”</p><p>“You can’t do that, I promised to keep –“ Seungmin slams a palm over his mouth, but it’s painfully late.</p><p>Felix manages to take a few steps toward the door, but Seungmin moves at a supernatural speed – a blur of dark hair and soft fabrics – positioning himself between Felix and the ominously closed door.</p><p>“Who told you to come here distract me?” Felix asks, exponentially more alarmed now.</p><p>“No one is hurt, Felix. Not yet at least. Changbin hyung seemed quite adamant that I don’t let you downstairs, and Chan hyung was there too as he gave the order. I’m sorry, this is nothing personal.”</p><p>“Not hurt yet? What are you even going on about?”</p><p>“It’s very possible that someone will get hurt, but it’s none of us. You just need to give them some time to take care of things.”</p><p>“What things?” Felix snarls. “Seungmin, please. I should go see if I can do something to help.”</p><p>Felix tries to shove himself past the vampire who is still standing in his way cosplaying a brick wall, but it earns him nothing but a firm hand around his wrist.</p><p>Felix gawks at Seungmin and then at the hand holding him in place, actually surprised that Seungmin would go so far as to physically restrain him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but I really can’t let you go downstairs right now.”</p><p>Felix’s heart beats so fast he thinks it might grow legs and gallivant into the darkening night. “Who is the person who might get hurt?”</p><p>Seungmin looks at him with wide eyes, closely resembling a kicked puppy. “I don’t know for sure, but I scented the man who walked in. He smelled very similar to you.”</p><p>For a moment Felix is so utterly flabbergasted that he doesn’t curse out loud, doesn’t throw a tantrum nor demand Seungmin to release him at once.</p><p>After a moment of useless static in his brain, two unpleasant thoughts occupy his frontal lobe.</p><p>Did he follow him here just to torture him by simply lingering, hovering over him like a hungry ghost from Korean folktales, or does he think he’s doing some grand gesture of chivalry by coming here, by confronting a horde of soulless, evil vampires.</p><p>Whichever the case – with his mouth and temper – his father is going to get himself killed in less than ten minutes.</p><p>Felix can’t find it himself to get overly bothered by the fact. “Will you just let me go, please. I promise I won’t try to run again. I really don’t want to see him anyway.”</p><p>Seungmin considers this with his head tilted to the side, possibly trying to read Felix’s intentions from his scent.</p><p>“I need space to process this. You’re not helping by breathing down my neck,” Felix reiterates.</p><p>Seungmin blinks, a little dazed. His throat bobs at a hard swallow. He takes a step back.</p><p>Felix tries his luck as the vampires is still flustered. “Can you hear them talking from up here?”</p><p>“Yeah, parts of it. They’re being pretty loud,” Seungmin admits.</p><p>“Can you tell me? Or is that <em>against the rules</em> as well?”</p><p>Seungmin looks pained. “It’s not pleasant things.”</p><p>Felix flashes a dark smile, and licks over his lips. He wishes he had some of his favourite lip gloss to make him feel more powerful. “My entire life has been an unpleasant thing.”</p><p>Before Seungmin manages to decide what to do, his whole body tenses up all of a sudden. His head snaps to the side, and he growls a little nasally.</p><p>“What?” Felix demands, eternally cursing his weak human ears.</p><p>“I think your – hmm, <em>blood relative</em> might have hit Chan hyung.”</p><p>“What the hell? That’s enough. Who the <em>fuck</em> does he think he is?” Felix forgets all about his promise to stay put, and he dashes for the door.</p><p>Seungmin is naturally much faster. He tackles Felix to the side and pins him against the wall between his spread arms. He manages to render Felix completely immobile with the lightest touch.</p><p>“Felix, he’s saying a lot of things you don’t want to hear. Hyungs are barely holding it back with the human spouting nonsense at them. You going downstairs would only aggravate the situation and make it violent. You know how protective they are over you.”</p><p>“But it’s my mess. I need to handle him myself,” Felix grits. His shoulder blades are flush against the wall with only Seungmin’s fingertips on his shoulders. He knew vampires were strong, but Seungmin doesn’t seem to be making any kind of effort to keep Felix at his mercy.</p><p>Seungmin lets out a primal-sounding noise, and Felix doesn’t know if he’s reacting to his words or to what’s happening downstairs.</p><p>“You don’t need to handle shit anymore,” the vampire groans. “My maker abandoned me right after I was turned. She came back to find me years later, said she was proud of me for making it on my own. Just the fact that she had turned me didn’t give her the right to be involved in my life. It’s not your mess because you’re related to each other. That man is a threat to the clan, and the clan leader will handle such threats as he sees fit.”</p><p>Felix temporarily forgets his ridiculous predicament, that he’s back against the wall in the hold of a ridiculously strong vampire, and that his father just hit his boyfriend like he had every right to hurt one of the only people that actually matter to Felix.</p><p>“Why did your maker – what happened?”</p><p>Seungmin’s expression turns bitter, but he indulges Felix, perhaps to keep distracting him. “She was quite the eccentric vampire. Her “little experiments”, she called them. My maker thought she would create a new breed of vampires – strong and independent and totally free from clan hierarchies – so she left me to fend for myself. But then I met Chan hyung, and everything changed. I was no longer a murderer out of control. I could be just Seungmin the journalist.”</p><p>The vampire seems to be listening in again as his lips purse together. He doesn’t comment on what he hears.</p><p>“You can be just Felix as well. You don’t have to carry the burden of your bloodline on your shoulders anymore.”</p><p>Felix blinks. “I don’t know how to be just Felix, though. It’s lying, it feels like <em>lying</em>.”</p><p>“Lie harder then, lie so much that it starts to sound like the truth. It can become the truth.”</p><p>They share an intense staring contest, and Felix hears his own pulse in his ears, fast and hard like his heart is racing against something.</p><p>The door to Felix’s room opens with an aggressive yank, and Chan and Changbin barge in.</p><p>“Let Felix go,” Chan requests in a tight voice. He looks livid, but the anger is sizzling out by the second, clearly a leftover from his encounter with Lee Sangtae.</p><p>Felix catches himself baring his teeth and snapping them together with a tight jaw. It’s as if he’s fine-tuned to absorb the restricted rage his vampires are emitting.</p><p>Seungmin doesn’t obey right away, he seems wary of Felix’s mental state, a little overcome by sharing his personal story. Chan grazes Seungmin’s shoulder with the tips of his fingers, and the younger vampire flinches at the touch.</p><p>Felix searches for Chan’s eyes and finds them easily. “I think Seungmin is a little flustered,” he says in a hollow voice that doesn’t really match the tornado swirling his insides to tiny shreds.</p><p>Seungmin lets go of Felix in a sudden motion, and his arms flop uselessly against his sides. Without thinking much at all, Felix lunges at Chan and grabs the collar of his shirt in his fist. Chan glances down at Felix’s white knuckles, but the vampire does nothing to stop him.</p><p>“Did he leave? Did he hurt you? Did you hurt him back?” Felix babbles, because he doesn’t know what question to ask first. He’s a rubber band ready to snap, and Seungmin’s steady hands on him were the only thing preventing him from doing just that.</p><p>Chan remains quiet, drilling holes through Felix with his dark eyes, and it makes him feel small.</p><p>“<em>That human</em> left,” Changbin confirms from the side. He has hands on Seungmin’s shoulders, trying to calm the younger vampire down despite looking quite distraught himself. “He tried to hurt Chan hyung, but that of course didn’t work out for him.”</p><p>“We only hurt him verbally and emotionally in return, but we made sure it really stung,” Chan says heavily. Felix feels the burst of bitter words on his skin like a drop of spilled acid, shuddering, cheeks tingling.</p><p>“Why in the world did you send Seungmin to keep me upstairs? Why didn’t you let me to come talk to him myself, and to clear things up once and for all?”</p><p>“If he got to say all those things to you in person, we would have ripped him apart limb from limb,” Chan says, confirming Seungmin’s guess from earlier.</p><p>Felix bites the inside of his cheek, an old habit to ground himself with pain. “But what if I had wanted closure. What if I had wanted to make him suffer myself? You didn’t consider that at all, did you?”</p><p>Chan’s face falls, guilt and shame spilling over the sternness. “Felix baby, he said he wanted to buy you back, he wanted me to give you to him in exchange for some petty favours, like you were an object to him. I have to protect you from that. I <em>have to</em>, because no revenge or smart comeback is worth having to hear words like that from your own father.” Chan is out of breath now. His posture slumps in Felix’s hold.</p><p>“I always was an object to him,” Felix murmurs bitterly.</p><p>“You can be mad at us for as long as you want. But I don’t regret keeping you away from that conversation,” Changbin says from right behind Felix. His voice is dark and smooth as burnt butter, and suddenly Felix gets the urge to lean back and let Changbin support his weight. He doesn’t do that, only sways on unsteady feet as he starts deflating. He has a pounding headache hammering his temples from all the emotional whiplash.</p><p>“Is he coming back?”</p><p>“Never again. Not if he values his own life in any measurable way,” Chan says.</p><p>Felix is empty inside, achy and empty. He left home without leaving a note, and now his father has left without one, too. It’s a circle of open, unsatisfying endings.</p><p>Because sometimes life doesn’t give closure for bad things.</p><p>Felix lets go of Chan’s crumpled shirt collar. It’s sticky with the sweat from his palms.</p><p>“I promised I would play cards with Hyunjin and Jisung. Seungmin, you never told me if you wanted to join or not.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“I’m still mad at you two.”</p><p>Felix presses a kiss to Chan’s cold lips. It’s quick and dry and sudden, and Chan yelps into his mouth in complete surprise.</p><p>Felix pulls away and snarls softly. “Don’t go behind my back again.”</p><p>It has been three days since the incident with his father, three more days of babysitting Jisung and getting worried looks from his boyfriends with whom he’s supposed to be very angry with, three days of crying in the bathroom from sheer sexual frustration.</p><p>What eventually made him snap, was a series of somewhat unrelated events. Jisung had to run some errands, and he set of on his trip with Seungmin and Jeongin as his bodyguards. Hyunjin and Minho left the lair soon after that to investigate some Park clan activity across the city.</p><p>But The worst offender of all was Chan, who sauntered into the living room wearing a stripey smoking jacket with the sash hanging loose, toned chest and some glimmering necklaces of varied lengths on full display. His minor wardrobe malfunction was enough to fry Felix’s volitional brain beyond repair.</p><p>Changbin walks in on them shortly after they’ve started kissing with sloppy desperation, The vampire makes his presence known with a scandalised gasp. Felix ignores the other vampire and kisses Chan again with a hand pressed at his jaw, prying it open with ease. Chan tries to nod and say something back at Felix’s earlier words, but he seems reluctant to use any strength to overpower his human. He lets out a frustrated little noise against his mouth, not quite a whine but close.</p><p>Changbin seems to have recovered from his shock, as Felix hears a dark chuckle from behind him. He feels a steady hand at the small of his back. The vampire is effectively pushing him flush against Chan, making him lean into the vampire until their hips are pressed together, and there’s absolutely nowhere to hide.</p><p>Changbin places another hand on the inside of Felix thigh, fingers splayed wide open, applying gentle force until Felix has no choice but to part his legs a little obscenely. The intimacy of the touch makes Felix wanton with need. He bucks his hips forward and lets his hand fall from Chan’s jaw down to his bare chest.</p><p>“M–manhandling me like this won’t make me any less pissed,” Felix manages to gasp before Chan captures his mouth like he wants to eat Felix for dinner.</p><p>Changbin leans forward to speak right into his ear. “But it does make you more turned on.”</p><p>Felix mutters a small “yes” into Chan’s wet mouth, hips still grinding against the vampire, legs shoulder width apart with Changbin’s heavy palm between them. He’s not a blushing virgin anymore, even if in a strictly technical sense he’s both of those things.</p><p>Changbin wraps a strong hand around Felix’s waist and pulls him back so abruptly that his mouth is ripped from Chan’s with a saliva-slick pop. On instinct, Chan growls at the loss. His hands snap forward to stop Felix’s involuntary escape, but Changbin works faster. He hauls Felix’s body, graceless from perpetual arousal, against his chest and spins him around. Felix manages to catch a glimpse of a mischievous grin before he’s carelessly thrown over the vampire’s broad shoulder like a sack of sprouted turnips.</p><p>“What’s this?” Felix complains, but his voice sounds a little too breathless to be taken seriously. “I was having fun kissing Chan hyung.”</p><p>Changbin grumbles low in his throat, raspy and hot. “Oh, I’m sure you were. But wouldn’t we have even more fun if we went to hyung’s room. Have you seen his bed, Lix?”</p><p>Chan is outside his field of vision, but Felix hears a loud gasp and another weak growl. Chan seems to be really into the idea.</p><p>“I haven’t. Is it nice?” Felix asks as innocently as he can while blood is rushing to his head from hanging upside down.</p><p>“It’s huge. Should fit all three of us quite easily and leave ample room for – <em>movement</em>.”</p><p>Felix is pretty sure his face gets even redder than before. So much for being confident. He squeaks a tiny “yes”, and the world is shifting, the floor getting more distant as they go up the stairs. Changbin lowers him onto the edge of the enormous bed. Everything about Chan’s room screams money, but he’s too distracted to pay attention to his surroundings. He feels cool fingertips brush a few baby hairs off his forehead. The bed sits so high that Felix’s feet barely touch the floor. It makes him feel young and immature in contrast to the two vampires standing in front of him.</p><p>“Tell us what you need baby,” Chan whispers. His chest looks almost white in the moonlight, muscles flexing beautifully.</p><p>Suddenly, it feels all too real, scarily so, exactly like in his wildest fantasies.</p><p>“I want all of it,” Felix admits with a shaky exhale, “but I’m afraid I might disappoint you somehow – I didn’t get to have a lot of experience back when – uhh you know. Didn’t have a lot of opportunities.”</p><p>“Are you scared that you wouldn’t like something we suggest, or are you really worried that we might not want you just because you’re less experienced than us?” Changbin asks in a voice that is like sticky toffee being pulled from the middle.</p><p>Felix pouts a little, averting their gaze. ”I don’t know how to make you feel good. You have hundreds of years worth of experience.”</p><p>Changbin huffs out a tiny laugh. “Lixie, baby. Do you want to hear a secret?”</p><p>“Maybe?”</p><p>Chan traces his finger down the bridge of Felix’s nose. It tickles, and Felix fights back the urge to laugh in a really dumb way.</p><p>“I went to see hyung in his office, and we kissed a bit. One thing led to another, and I ended up trying to give Chan hyung a blow job for the first time. Can you guess what happened next?”</p><p>Felix shakes his head, the mental image of Changbin giving pleasure to Chan too much to handle.</p><p>Changbin clicks his tongue, and focuses his eyes on the vampire. “What happened was, I was on my knees on the floor, eager to make him feel good. But at the same time I was deathly nervous, because after all – it’s Bang Chan we’re talking about here.” He glances at Chan with fond eyes but then grimaces a bit. “I went too fast and almost threw up all over the nice rug under his desk. Does that still sound like an experienced sex-haver to you?”</p><p>Felix chews on his bottom lip. “But you didn’t throw up, did you?”</p><p>Chan chuckles. “But it was really close. Our point is that we can go slow, if you’d like. We can discuss what roles you would like to take, or what kinds of things you enjoy.”</p><p>“But – but what if I already know?”</p><p>“Then you only need to tell us, and we’ll let you know if it’s something we would be open to as well,” Chan concludes in a gentle voice.</p><p>Felix glances at the bed over his shoulder. The bedsheets are navy blue and soft under his fingers, and there’s a mountain of puffy pillows. He greatly appreciates the lack of cliched virginal white. It would feel a tad too mocking.</p><p>“So – I have never – done <em>it</em> before,” Felix stutters with a shudder of pure cringe at his own words. “But I want you to have it, my first time I mean. I want to try it w–with you. I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” he adds with a sheepish smile.</p><p>“It would be an honour,” Chan murmurs.</p><p>”You’re always so formal, hyung,” Changbin scolds in a soft voice. “Tell us Lix, do you want one of us to do that to you, or would you prefer to be the one doing the work?” Changbin asks with no shame whatsoever.</p><p>Something twists in a huge knot inside Felix’s stomach. “The first option, please,” he whimpers.</p><p>Changbin nods seriously, with none of the regular mischief visible on his face. “Which one of us would you like to be your first?”</p><p>“Maybe we should toss a coin?” Felix suggest with a tiny whisper. It makes all three of them chuckle, shedding off some of the nervous energy buzzing over them like an electric blanket.</p><p>“We are definitely not going to toss a coin for your virginity,” Changbin hums with a few more ripples of laughter. “But I have an idea. How about I get you all ready for Chan hyung here? Must have you well prepared to make it as good for you as possible, because hyung isn’t exactly the smallest –”</p><p>Chan chokes on his saliva in a less than elegant manner. The muscles in his neck strain as he tries to stifle a growl building up in his chest. A little aborted noise of pure want slips through, and Felix knows there’s an embarrassing patch of wetness forming in the fabric of his trousers.</p><p>It’s how it should be. His hyungs working side by side to ruin him, just as Felix asked.</p><p>“I like that,” Felix rasps. He has too much spit in his mouth, and his stomach keeps spinning around its own axis like one of those cheap plasticky globes that light up inside.</p><p>“And Chan hyung?” Changbin asks.</p><p>“Yeah. I’d like that, too” Chan finally manages. His eyes are glued to Felix, roaming over his body in broad strokes that feel like an actual caress.</p><p>Changbin accepts their consent and climbs in Felix’s lap, straddling his slender thighs on the bed.</p><p>“Will you let me touch you, pretty? Make you feel really good?”</p><p>Felix nods and nods and nods, overcome by need again. Changbin is a solid presence on top of him, the centre of his existence as they kiss and explore each other with curious fingers, but then he feels a palm landing on top of his head. Fingers dig into his scalp in a slightly possessive way, and an embarrassing noise escapes Felix’s throat.</p><p>It’s always so much with them touching him like this, simultaneously and with such deliberation. Changbin demands entrance to Felix’s mouth, which he allows happily. Chan’s hand slides down the back of his head, brushing over soft hairs, and comes to rest at his nape.</p><p>“You two look so good together,” Chan states, and both Changbin and Felix whimper into each other’s mouths at the compliment.</p><p>“Lay him down on his back, Binnie,” Chan instructs, but the other vampire ignores him, only deepening the kiss that is already taking Felix’s breath away.</p><p>“Don’t be greedy, this is Felix’s night, and he did ask for something.”</p><p>Changbin pulls away from Felix’s slick lips for a nanosecond. “He could ask even more prettily, I think.” He dives back into the kiss after the remark.</p><p>Felix tries to shake his head in objection, but it’s difficult with Changbin’s tongue exploring the roof of his mouth, fangs pressing on his lower lip and something else as hard and solid digging into his abdomen through layers of clothing.</p><p>“Don’t tease him too much, remember what happened last time?” Chan reminds the other vampire.</p><p>Changbin chuckles against Felix’s mouth. “I’m willing to take my chances.”</p><p>Felix feels nearly delirious as Changbin starts pulling his t-shirt over his head. Felix hears the bedsheets rustling behind him, and suddenly Chan’s cold hands start tugging Felix’s shirt off as well.</p><p>Changbin explores Felix’s chest with careful hands, fingers ghosting over the collarbones in symmetrical patterns, going down to brush over his nipples, tracing the patch of hair under his navel with a single finger. Chan’s hands are equally distracting. He’s still behind him, running his fingers over the bumps of Felix’s spine, pressing kisses in the sensitive spot right between his shoulder blades.</p><p>Felix becomes pudding between them, loose and lax. His nerve-ending are sending mismatched impulses, he no longer knows who is touching him and where, whether the touch is light or hard and demanding.</p><p>“There we go,” Chan coos when Felix’s head flops against Changbin’s shoulder.</p><p>“Let’s get you comfortable,” Changbin says, and just like that he’s being manoeuvred on the bed, on the soft sheets that smell like the shampoo Chan uses.</p><p>“Can I touch you now?” Changbin asks. Felix nods, and his trousers come off before he can inhale once.</p><p>There’s a clicking noise, a plastic cap opening, and Felix smiles thinking about the implications of lube being so readily available in Chan’s bedroom.</p><p>Changbin asks one more time if he’s still good, if he wants to try, and Felix shakes like a leaf from how much he <em>does</em> want. He replies a “yes, hyung” from between clattering teeth.</p><p>“Such a polite boy,” Changbin approves, and then he’s being worked open, coaxed gently but with determination. It feels nothing like exploring his own body in the shower, it’s much better and much worse, all-consuming in a way that makes Felix’s eyes roll back despite Changbin only using a finger or two.</p><p>It seems to take an eternity, but then the vampire presses a wet kiss behind Felix’s ear, and the comforting weight of his body is gone. Felix has time to mewl once before another set of hands is on his body, arranging him in a new position. His limbs feel loose and detached as Chan manipulates them.</p><p>Felix finds himself flipped on his side, knees tucked against his chest. Changbin is lying next to him, looking handsome with his slate grey hair parted in a weird place, lips swollen dark from kissing. Chan is behind Felix, draped over his back like a cape.</p><p>“I think this position might work well for your first time,” Chan murmurs into his hair. “You can relax, little one. Binnie prepped you well.” Chan’s hand wraps around Felix’s waist, and he drags his prone body against him.</p><p>It still hurts, but it’s not an unbearable kind of hurt. It’s a light, floaty hurt that is bound to end soon.</p><p>Felix’s ears start ringing, he’s going deaf and numb and dumb, a trickle of drool escaping his mouth and getting absorbed in the pillow.</p><p>Felix tries to arch his back better, present better to make the slide smoother, and Chan almost cries when he does that. Changbin starts touching Felix with deft fingers, and Felix mirrors the action with both hands around Changbin, sloppy and uncoordinated motions.</p><p>But Changbin sings him praises all the same.</p><p>“You’re doing so well, little Lix. Taking Chan hyung so fucking well. You’re perfect for us.”</p><p>“Mine,” Chan groans from behind him, close to finishing already.</p><p>“Mine,” Changbin confirms.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Eeeehhh I was pushing the M rating with this. I love these fools together, and I wanted to write a bed scene for them…</p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> for those interested.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Vertebrae</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Blood and injury, brief mention of past non-con. </p><p>No one is having a good time in this. Brace yourself.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jisoo claims that Rosie has developed a bit of an obsession with the human named Lee Felix.</p><p>But it’s not her fault that the young man is on her mind at all times, he’s simply too endearing. Rosie loved watching Felix sleep, loved seeing him pad around the house on his cute feet, adorably dazed from all the sugar she fed him. Loved how soft his lips felt as she stole a few kisses from him –</p><p>Rosie wants him back. She wants him to breathe for her, bleed for her. She wants him to think about her as much as she thinks about him.</p><p>She’s going to destroy the Bang clan bit by bit. She’s going to murder their humans and let their blood flow to waste in front of their eyes. Then she’ll kill Bang Chan himself and make the rest of the clan crawl to her feet and beg for mercy.</p><p>Tonight she can finally set her plan in motion.</p><p>Planning for the ambush was laughably easy. She only had to plant a story about her clan extorting small businesses for protection money, and the chivalrous Bangs just couldn’t resist butting in.</p><p>Rosie is delighted when a pair of vampires appears at the end of the alleyway. The wind is blowing away from their direction, so the vampires can’t smell her stalking them from above, lying in wait on a second-floor balcony. She recognises the taller, silver-haired vampire and can easily guess the other one’s identity based on her intel.</p><p>“Wait,” the brown-haired vampire hisses, a hand on the other’s chest, “this scent, I recognise it from somewhere –“</p><p>It’s time. Rosie makes a quick hand gesture and jumps down with three of her strongest vampires for support. She lands on the ground first, feet touching the pavement gracefully. The Bang vampires hiss and crouch, and it’s such a joy to see their eyes blow wide in panic.</p><p>“Oh, hello dear. Long time no see,” Rosie greets sweetly, eyes fixed on the Bang clan maknae whose eyes gleam like brilliant sapphires as he stares at her.</p><p>“A long time? Oh you fucking<em> cunt</em>, I should’ve realised earlier. You were there that night, weren’t you?” the other vampire snarls without skipping a beat. “I knew I caught a vampire scent in the air but couldn’t be sure because it was all muddled –”</p><p>Rosie has heard countless rumours about the great tracker Lee Minho. It’s evident that the stories hold true. “You have a good nose, I give you that. I only stayed long enough to see the fun part, and there were a lot of humans at the campus.”</p><p>Minho is shooting daggers out of his eyes, his conventionally handsome face contorted in rage.</p><p>Rosie smirks in pure glee. “Your name is Hyunjin, isn’t it? I’m surprised Bang Chan decided to attempt turning you, although it’s very much like him to care so much. He did quite a taboo thing, you know that right? Vampires with a lick of common sense know that some animals are just better to put down after they get too damaged.”</p><p>It’s absolutely euphoric to see Minho getting all riled up while the baby vampire remains flustered.</p><p>“I had nothing personal against you, little Hyunjin. I thought taking out one of Bang’s lapdogs would give me time to get a better foothold on Seoul. It paid off in the end when I managed to take over this nice little clan.” Rosie gestures at her vampires who don’t seem all too pleased with the sentiment.</p><p>“But now that you’re one of us, I can’t say I like you very much, baby vampire. You’re a manifestation of Bang’s constant hypocrisy. He brought a crippled little thing into this world because of his own greed.”</p><p>“When Chan was getting back from Sydney, and you ordered the attack on Hyunjin – was that some kind of sick punishment to you?” Minho growls.</p><p>“Of course it was. I’m a firm believer in consequences,” Rosie smiles. “But not tonight though – I’m just excited to see how the cripple fights for his pathetic little clan.”</p><p>“This is not a fair fight. You have no honour if you do this.” Minho is bending his knees and trying to shove Hyunjin behind himself. It’s cute.</p><p>“Life isn’t always fair, boys. But don’t worry, I’ll let at least one of you live so that you can deliver a message for me.”</p><p>“Run,” Minho groans over his shoulder. “Run as fast as you can, and I’ll hold them off!”</p><p>Minho’s words come too late. Hyunjin is frozen in place as Rosie beckons the other vampires to surround them, make them back off against the nearest wall.</p><p>“Make sure to send dearest Felix my best regards. I can’t wait to continue our relationship <em>right</em> where we left off.”</p><p>“For God’s sake Jinnie get the fuck out of here, that’s an order!”</p><p>Hyunjin starts growling, and the gravel and brown glass from a shattered beer bottle make a screeching sound as he grinds the heels of his boots into the ground.</p><p>Rosie turns around and slips back into the darkness, beautiful symphony of blood and violence as her soundtrack.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think the others organised this night for us?” Changbin asks with a lazy, post-orgasmic smile.</p><p>Chan huffs out a small laugh. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Sounds like a very Minho thing to do if you ask me.”</p><p>Felix smacks his lips, half-asleep and incredibly warm between the two vampires. Chan slides a hand on his human’s thigh, and Felix gets instant goosebumps from the difference in temperature. A tiny noise of complaint forms on his lips.</p><p>Chan thinks he has never been happier in his life – not when he moved together with his first human companion, not when he made his first billion won on the stock market after Changbin had adamantly told him that he couldn’t do it.</p><p>Is Chan even allowed to be this happy?</p><p>The answer comes a few seconds later when the front door opens with a loud sound, and two sets of feet stumble in.</p><p>Chan instantly smells vampire blood, pungent even through the closed bedroom door, like corroded steel and petrol. “Oh fuck, Hyunjin and Minho!” Chan yells as he jumps out of the bed.</p><p>Changbin makes a choking sound as he inhales deeply.</p><p>Felix’s sleepy eyes get wider, and he jolts up as well. The sudden movement makes him wince, and Chan feels a brief pang of guilt knowing that his human is still sore.</p><p>“Clothes!” Changbin shouts and crawls out of the bed.</p><p>The three of them struggle to find something to wear. In the end Changbin is left with sweatpants but no shirt, Chan has a dressing gown and a pair of gym shorts, and Felix is in one of Chan’s oversized sweaters and a pair of boxers that might belong to Changbin.</p><p>They stumble downstairs in a half-clothed heap of human and vampire. Seungmin and Jisung have returned home as well, and they are standing in the hallway with their faces frozen in horror. Jisung looks like he’s about to throw up any second. Felix bends over, palms on his bare thighs as he struggles not to gag. The smell of iron must be overpowering even for the humans, and the sight isn’t exactly pretty either.</p><p>“I’m so sorry to interrupt your threesome,” Minho rasps, his hand slung over Hyunjin’s shoulder. It’s unclear which one is supporting which, as the both of them look half-dead.</p><p>Hyunjin is coughing in wet splutters, blood bubbling at the corner of his mouth as it mixes with spit and air. His leg keeps giving out under him, and it’s bent at an odd angle. Minho on the other hand has one of his eyes completely swollen shut. His hair is matted with blood, which suggests some kind of head injury, and in addition to that he’s bleeding heavily from a wound on his free arm. A pair of fangs has ripped into muscle, forming two deep gashes from shoulder to elbow.</p><p>“Wh–what happened?” Chan manages.</p><p>Minho struggles to draw enough air into his lungs, and his speech is turning into a painful wheeze. “It was an ambush. Chaeyoung was there – with some of her goons.”</p><p>Changbin steps forward to support Hyunjin at the waist to take his weight off Minho. Seungmin comes to stand next to Minho, but the stubborn vampire refuses to lean into him, his single working eye fixed on Jisung’s pale face instead.</p><p>“It was three against two, but Hyunjin fought so well,” Minho continues. He braces his palm against the wall for support, and it leaves a bright red handprint on the panelling.</p><p>In the midst of chaos Chan swells with sudden pride, but then Hyunjin slumps in Changbin’s hold. More blood trickles down his chin, indicating some internal bleeding.</p><p>”They need blood, now,” Changbin says in a tight voice.</p><p>“I can help,” Felix exclaims. He’s already rolling his sleeves up.</p><p>Felix’s enthusiasm pulls all the wrong triggers. Just like that, at the worst moment imaginable, Chan and Changbin decide to lose their minds. Both of them growl so loudly that the entire mansion rattles on its foundation.</p><p>At the back of his mind Chan knows this is not the time to get feral, but – having someone else drink from Felix? Chan feels like he needs to gauge someone’s eyes out.</p><p>“Oh for crying out loud, will someone shackle these fools into the wall or something?” Felix yells over the deafening noise as Chan’s brain is stuck in a primal loop of NO and MINE.</p><p>“Let’s take them to the living room. Seungmin and Jisung, will you help me move them, you’re the only ones who’re coherent enough to do that.” Felix is delegating like a true leader while Chan stares at them dumbly, knees bent to pounce, irrational panic swelling inside him.</p><p>He needs to get something else than a stupid growl out of his mouth.</p><p>Chan inhales deeply, focusing on the hurt of his clan members instead of his own jealous instincts. “You can’t give blood to the both of them. They’re too hurt to control themselves.”</p><p>Felix shoots Chan a stern look that makes him cower in actual fear. “So, now you decide to come back to your senses? Tell me hyung, what else is there to do? Jisung will <em>die</em> if he’s bitten, and they’re both equally hurt. I cannot sit back and watch them suffer like this.”</p><p>Jisung’s expression gets even more miserable at his friend’s words. Despite that he bravely keeps trying to get the still very much feral Changbin to release his grip on Hyunjin’s waist.</p><p>It’s a hopeless mess. Maybe if they gave them blood bags for now, and Chan called the emergency donor service, they could – –</p><p>“You forgot about me,” a clear voice pierces the air.</p><p>All heads snap in the direction of the voice. Jeongin is standing at the kitchen door, carrying an empty cardboard box with the picture of a rice cooker on the side. His eyes are steady and calm, posture straight.</p><p>The surprise is enough to jostle Chan out of his trance-like state.</p><p>“What do you – you know it’s in your contract that you will not donate blood under any circumstance.”</p><p>Jeongin scoffs. “To hell with the contract. Besides, you were the one who wanted me to sign that, not me.”</p><p>In that moment Jeongin looks so much like the human Hyunjin was that it’s absolutely terrifying. It was supposed to be all professional between them as well, but then Chan lost his mind and took Hyunjin under his wing like he had the right to ruin his life like that.</p><p>Felix claps his hands together with such force that everyone flinches. “That’s settled then. Hyungs, I’m not afraid to punch you in the throat if you don’t stop that macho shit right this moment.”</p><p>The words have an instantaneous effect. Changbin closes his mouth with a choked out whimper, and Chan starts moving on autopilot.</p><p>They manoeuvre the injured vampires into the living room. After a quick negotiation, Seungmin, Chan and Felix take Hyunjin, and the rest of the clan gathers around Minho and Jeongin.</p><p>“His leg might be fractured. Straighten it out on the sofa, because after he starts drinking, the bones will fuse together very quickly,” Chan instructs Seungmin. While the vampire does that despite Hyunjin’s loud wails of protest, Chan lifts his human into his lap. He pulls on the hem of Felix’s sweater to make it cover a little more of his legs and the faint scars on his upper thighs.</p><p>“I will hold you like this while Hyunjin feeds,” Chan explains in a low murmur, and Felix nods.</p><p>Changbin glances at them from across the room where they are arranging Jeongin at a good biting distance of Minho. Jisung stands next to them, fidgeting and face wet with silent tears. Even though Changbin’s eyes are still wild, the vampire nods approvingly at them, a silent agreement to go forward with the plan.</p><p>“As you know, Hyunjin doesn’t have a sense of smell, and he can’t differentiate humans by their blood, but he’s still an injured and hungry vampire, so I’ll have to keep a close eye on you.”</p><p>“And you can feel like you still have me under your control,” Felix adds, but the jab is delivered in a gentle tone.</p><p>Chan sighs. “I might get really anxious soon. But I won’t take it out on either one of you.”</p><p>Hyunjin tries to nod, but he’s coughing blood again. They have to hurry.</p><p>“I know you wouldn’t hurt me. So do what you have to,” Felix says.</p><p>With that, Chan guides Felix’s wrist, the one without the scar from the knife, straight into Hyunjin’s mouth. The baby vampire tentatively licks over his pulse, letting his underdeveloped vampire instincts take hold. He bites into Felix’s flesh with a quick glint of teeth and starts drinking greedily.</p><p>Felix yelps in pain, and tries not to growl too loudly. He takes his free hand and pushes Felix at the back of his head. His human bends his neck willingly to bare it to Chan, trying to make it easier for him in the only way he can. Chan lets out a tiny growl at his submission. He closes his jaws over Felix’s neck, very careful not to break skin with his fangs, and Felix has a whole-body shudder from the scrape of teeth on his skin.</p><p>But soon he starts showing the effects of Hyunjin’s venom rushing into his bloodstream. Felix’s breathing gets slower, less shallow, and the major muscles in his legs and abdomen start relaxing.</p><p>Minho is drinking from Jeongin in large gulps while Changbin observes with a hand on the pulse point on the human’s other wrist. Chan is grateful that the vampire is taking it so seriously. Even if Jeongin agreed to help out of solidarity, he doesn’t deserve to be sucked into the world of vampires that he can’t handle.</p><p>Because Chan won’t be able to protect him, just as he failed to protect Hyunjin.</p><p>Felix’s slowing pulse under Chan’s lips reminds him of their current predicament. Chan pulls away from his human’s neck and wipes some spit and venom off his skin with the sleeve of his dressing gown.</p><p>“You’ve had enough, Jinnie.”</p><p>Hyunjin seems to be lost in Felix’s warm blood sliding down his throat, so Chan has to reach over to place a finger under his chin.</p><p>“Look at me. That’s enough.”</p><p>Hyunjin’s eyes trail up to meet Chan’s, and he lets go of Felix reluctantly, licking his lips in a daze. He has stopped coughing up blood, which is a great sign.</p><p>“Felix, honey, how are you feeling?”</p><p>Felix turns his head slowly and presses his forehead into the crook of Chan’s neck. Now that the situation is in no way a sexual one, Felix seems to be more receptive to the calming effects of the venom.</p><p>“Tired? You can doze off for a bit. I’ll get you a blanket to keep your legs warm.”</p><p>Chan hears Felix huff out a tiny laugh. “You just hate that I’m wearing nothing but this shirt.”</p><p>Chan presses a kiss to the side of his head. Felix’s hair is always soft despite the constant bleaching. “You see right through me, little one.”</p><p>At the other end of the room Minho is finished with feeding as well, looking much less sick already. Jeongin doesn’t look too bothered by what just happened. His eyes are a bit glassy from the venom, but his cheeks are still a healthy shade, and he seems to be resting comfortably against the cushions. Jisung is cupping Minho’s face between his curled fingers with such gentleness that Chan’s heart is about to split open like a soviet nuclear reactor.</p><p>Just as Chan is about to look away, Jisung leans forward and starts kissing Minho with utter desperation. He straddles the vampire’s thighs, careful not to put any weight on his injured body. Minho reciprocates the kiss with an audible moan. He wraps his bloodied hands around Jisung’s middle, and the two lovers melt into each other.</p><p>Chan forces himself to direct his gaze at Hyunjin, who is swiping his bloodied chin onto his already disgusting shirt.</p><p>“Chan hyung?” Hyunjin says, voice surprisingly steady.</p><p>“Yeah?” Chan asks in a low voice, Felix still curled in his lap.</p><p>“I know it’s not a good time, but I really need to tell you something. It’s <em>bad</em>.”</p><p>The cold blood in Chan’s veins turns into ice water. He nods at Changbin who comes right away, probably relieved to get away from the couple in the middle of a frantic reconciliation.</p><p>“Hyung, I need you to take a deep breath. Remember that you have Felix in your lap.”</p><p>Chan grimaces. “Take him, Binnie. I don’t trust myself tonight.”</p><p>Changbin frowns as if to say that he’s not so sure of himself either, but he scoops Felix up in his arms. Their human whimpers quietly at being moved all of a sudden.</p><p>Hyunjin breathes in through his mouth, and Chan sees that his fangs are still out in distress and pain. “Park Chaeyoung was there. She said that – she’s doing all this,” Hyunjin gestures at himself, “because she wants Felix for herself – that she will c–continue their relationship from where they l–left off.</p><p>Chan must be digging deep cuts into his palms, because he can smell his own blood spike in the air. He doesn’t feel pain though, too high on adrenaline.</p><p>Felix becomes stiff as a steel wire in Changbin’s arms, his heart racing but eyes pressed shut defiantly. Chan knew that Felix has kept details of his time at the Park lair to himself, but it still feels like a fresh slap in the face. He shakes his head with such force that his neck makes a loud crunch. Changbin is hissing and baring his teeth.</p><p>“And then there’s the other thing,” Hyunjin continues without giving either of them a break. “Apparently she also – had me killed.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, my name is Hwang Hyunjin. I’m studying at Seoul National University to become a doctor,” the young man says with a bow and a polite smile as Chan glances at him over the printed resume.</p><p>Hyunjin is handsome in an eye-catching way – sharp, alert eyes and a defined jawline, dark hair that is a tad too long in a trendy way. He’s tall and lean and has a kind smile and a pleasant scent to him.</p><p>“So, this says you have worked as a secretary before?”</p><p>“Yes, I answered the phone and used Excel, stuff like that,” the human says modestly, eyes downcast.</p><p>“I see, it’s something at least. But you know that this job would take a considerable amount of your time. Are you sure you can handle both school and working for me at night?”</p><p>Hyunjin starts nodding. “I already work the graveyard shift at a convenience store and some weekends at a gas station. This position would pay better for the same hours.”</p><p>Chan can <em>hear</em> Hyunjin smiling under his long hair, and he has to suppress a chuckle of his own.</p><p>“You really need the money, huh?”</p><p>Hyunjin raises his head a bit, eyes determined. “Yes, I do. But I’m certain I would make a great employee. I’m very organised and resourceful.”</p><p>Chan scratches the back of his head, more and more amused by the minute. “Those are some nice buzz words, but what I really want to know is whether you’re comfortable working with vampires or not. Do you have any experience with our kind?”</p><p>“No, sir.”</p><p>Chan frowns. “I find excessive courtesies quite redundant.”</p><p>“Noted,” Hyunjin says with a small smile, hands clasped neatly in front of him.</p><p>“There are certain risks you should be aware of. My clan is very peaceful, and our position within the vampire society of Seoul is well-respected, but sometimes conflicts do break out. That’s why the pay for this job is much more than a typical assistant’s wage. Am I being clear enough?”</p><p>Hyunjin crosses his arms, eyes flicking from side to side to Chan’s bookcase and to the watercolour painting hung on the opposite wall. “Do you always intimidate prospective employees?” he asks in a slightly less formal tone.</p><p>“Just enough to keep you on your guard. But if you actually decided to work for me, most nights you’d just have to drive me to meetings or order us blood from the nearest blood bank.”</p><p>“Oh, am I hired now?”</p><p>Chan allows himself to flash a genuine smile. Hyunjin reminds him so much of himself when he was a young vampire just freed from slavery. Full of hope and goals and cruel optimism.</p><p>“You’re hired.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t notice before, but you look very sharp today,” Chan compliments as soon as Hyunjin steps out of the driver’s seat. His assistant is wearing a long trench coat and fitted slacks. It’s clear that on Chan’s payroll he can express his love for fashion much more freely than before.</p><p>“Thank you,” Hyunjin says with a tiny bow.</p><p>“Brief me on the meeting, would you.”</p><p>Hyunjin flips open his fancy foldable phone that Chan bought for him after a disastrous business dinner. Some asshole executive got mad at Chan, grabbed the nearest thing which happened to be Hyunjin’s age-old Samsung, and threw it against the wall.</p><p>“You have dinner and drinks with the CEO of Moon Holdings, Kim Seokjin. Known for horrible puns and for not so secretly dating his secretary Taehyung – oh, and he’s a friend of Kim Namjoon’s, so you can use that to your advantage I’m sure.</p><p>“Right, great work. Fake laugh at jokes, don’t drool at secretary, and namedrop Namjoon. Got it. Do I ever tell how much I love you?”</p><p>“Only multiple times a week, sir.” Hyunjin shuts his phone like a clam and places it back in his pocket. It doesn’t go without notice how much Hyunjin is beaming at the compliments.</p><p>They get into the lift at the bottom floor with a group of young women who stare at Hyunjin as if he’s a god fallen from the Olympus, but the young man spares them not a single glance. The same girls look at Chan as if he’s something that has just started to rot and needs to be thrown out. Most people react to vampires in that way, their bodies notifying them of a nearby threat.</p><p>The lift doors whir open as they reach the restaurant floor. Chan and Hyunjin are shown to a table that overlooks the city skyline, the N Seoul tower all lit up in the distance. Chan orders some cocktails, one with a shot of blood since the place is one of the rare vampire-accommodating establishments in Seoul.</p><p>As they wait for Kim Seokjin to arrive, they fall into a comfortable silence. Chan is distracted by the beautiful city lights and the pleasant combination of vodka and AB blood buzzing on his tongue, and Hyunjin shifts his feet under the table and fiddles with his phone.</p><p>Hyunjin draws in a large breath. “Sajangnim –“</p><p>“You should just call me hyung like the others,” Chan interrupts, surprising even himself.</p><p>Hyunjin raises an eyebrow and takes a nervous sip of his Aperol Spritz. “But you are my boss.”</p><p>“I know, I know. But I really dislike when you call me that. And either way, the commonly used title for a clan leader is hyungnim.”</p><p>Hyunjin covers his smile with the back of his hand. “That just sounds like you’re a gang leader or something.”</p><p>“What can you do? The mob bosses copied us first,” Chan laughs.</p><p>Hyunjin draws his lower lip into his mouth as he considers the proposal. “It’s just – okay. I’ll try.”</p><p>Chan leans back in his chair and nods, pleased. “Tell hyung, how are your studies lately?”</p><p>“It has been nice. We’re doing autopsies on bodies that have been donated for science,” Hyunjin says. His eyes always light up when he gets a chance to talk about school.</p><p>“You’re the first person to ever describe doing an autopsy as ‘nice’.”</p><p>“But it’s so fascinating, going through the human body organ by organ. Did you know that due to the levels of air pollution these days even non-smokers often lose the normal pink colour of the lung?”</p><p>Chan smiles as he stands up to greet the two men approaching</p><p>“I always say this, but you’ll make such a great doctor one day.”</p><p>His assistant’s eyes sparkle. “I think so too, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Chan has truly hit a new low.</p><p>He’s picking up his assistant from school, waiting for him just outside the campus like a parent coming to pick up their child from day-care. Minho is across the street, getting an umbrella from the convenience store because the sky is suspiciously gloomy with rainclouds.</p><p>What’s worse is that Chan is doing all this with a stupid grin on his face, leaning into the car and trying to look a little cool if any students happen to look in his direction.</p><p>Hyunjin walks down a narrow pedestrian path, a colourful tote bag swinging from his arm. Their eyes meet across the street, and Chan waves his hand in greeting. Hyunjin is smiling, eyes twinkling. He starts to wave back, but then there is a huge blur of black.</p><p>Chan screams a broken warning, but it comes too weak and too late. Hyunjin is already in the air, limbs thin and splayed open, making him look like a stork setting off from a still body of water.</p><p>The ripples of his flight are deafening.</p><p>Chan lunges forward, needs to grab Hyunjin before he falls uncontrollably to the cold ground. But gravity is finding Hyunjin again, and it’s horribly beautiful how he descends.</p><p>The street is so wide. Chan won’t make it.</p><p>Hyunjin hits the pavement at an awful angle, his neck twists, his spine bends, and Chan can hear the individual cracks of everything going wrong inside his fragile human body.</p><p>Two aggravating seconds later he’s there. Hyunjin’s hair is now drenched in blood at his neck, the sugary scent of watermelon thick in the air.</p><p>Chan observes from third person as his own hand extends toward Hyunjin, to see how bad it is.</p><p>Humans are gathering around them, muttering cries for help into their phones, but Chan is alone in the world with Hyunjin’s blood on his fingertips.</p><p>“Chan hyung, Chan!” someone familiar calls out to him, but Chan can’t focus on the scared voice.</p><p>Hyunjin is lying face down, he can’t breathe, Chan needs to move him so that he’s more comfortable. Why can’t he hear his heartbeat properly when there’s nothing wrong with his ears?</p><p>“Chan hyung, look at me,” Minho begs from somewhere close.</p><p>Chan ignores the other vampire. He brushes a bit of Hyunjin’s hair to the side, it’s long and sticky and clinging to his skin.<br/>
<br/>
Chan’s heart lurches. There’s something white in the midst of torn layers of skin and spilled blood, something bulging out to make Hyunjin’s neck bend at a weird angle.</p><p>“Bang Chan, pull yourself together!”</p><p>Hyunjin is dying.</p><p>“We – we need to h–help him, I can –“</p><p>“There’s <em>nothing</em> you can do. Can’t you hear him fading away?”</p><p>“We can help, my blood,” Chan insists. His field of vision is getting red and blurry. His fangs are extending almost painfully.</p><p>“He’s too far gone, you will only cause him unnecessary pain. Let him go in peace.”</p><p><em>This is not peace, it is madness</em>.</p><p>It’s the only coherent thought on Chan’s mind as he rips the sleeve of his shirt off from the seam. He tears into his own flesh, ripping his wrist to shreds, and the near black of his blood mixes with the abundant redness of Hyunjin’s.</p><p>“I’m going to save you, I’m going to,” Chan chants, rocking his body forward. He moves Hyunjin’s head just enough to expose the side of his throat, and the loose vertebrae slosh around producing a horrible sound.</p><p>But Hyunjin only needs his blood. Chan will fix this, he will fix him.</p><p>Their audience gasps as Chan throws his head back and bites into the tendon and muscle without care, without finesse like a primal beast. He starts drawing blood out of Hyunjin with force, letting it spill past his lips onto the pavement below.</p><p>Minho sits by him, helpless and trembling from the perverse temptation of the blood of their fallen.</p><p>“The ambulance is on its way. Convince them to leave us alone,” Chan groans, mouth full of blood that he spits on the concrete because he can’t bear to swallow it. His own blood is oozing from the wound, the blood he hasn’t used in two centuries. Not since giving life to the dying man who after all these years is still beside him, scolding him for being reckless, careless.</p><p>But with Hyunjin, he’s willing to pay the price of recklessness.</p><p>“Think it through,” Minho yells, “you don’t know how he’ll wake up, if he’ll <em>ever</em> wake up. What if he’s left in an undead limbo with a broken body but vampire’s blood in his veins keeping him tied to this realm?”</p><p>Chan closes his ears from reason. Hyunjin is almost drained of blood, but his heart remains warm. It’s time.</p><p>Chan connects them by blood, an ancient ritual that defies all laws of science and human medicine.  </p><p>Behind him Chan hears Minho cursing heavily and scrambling to his feet. “Ah, here come the paramedics. Our everyday heroes. That man is clinically dead, unfortunately. My friend is trying to turn him into a vampire. Please do not take videos. No, that is not against the law. It was decriminalised in 1987. What century are you living on?”</p><p>The sound of Minho’s blabbering is almost comforting in a way. Chan feels faint from blood loss already, but he needs to give Hyunjin almost half of his own to try to make up for the injuries.</p><p>When they get home, Changbin is going to be such a bitch.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>It has been three days, Hyunjin hasn’t woken up, and Chan is ready to start planning his own funeral. He doesn’t feel that living on is all that justified after what he has done.</p><p>In his desperation Chan even called a human doctor to see his comatose assistant.</p><p>During the check-up, Dr Jung Hoseok takes a look at Hyunjin’s eyes with a pen-shaped flashlight. He calls Chan over after discovering that they have lost all melanin, leaving the irises a striking aqua blue.</p><p>Hyunjin’s hair is changing colours as well, white strands springing out of nowhere, making him look like a cleaning mop attached to a human body.</p><p>“What the fuck is happening to him?”.</p><p>“Magic?” the good doctor suggests helpfully.</p><p>“Can you make an educated guess?”</p><p>“From your recount of the accident, I’d say massive brain damage, quadriplegia, complete loss of eyesight. Pick your fighter.”</p><p>Chan’s posture slumps.</p><p>“But then again, his hair is changing colours without a drop of bleach, so I guess anything is possible.”</p><p>Hoseok slides one hand under Hyunjin’s neck. “We can’t say about the spinal cord before he wakes up, but the bones have healed beautifully at least.”</p><p>“Why do you think his appearance is changing like this?”</p><p>“You would have to ask an actual vampirism researcher that. But what I remember from medical school, a professor briefly mentioned that the turning process affects all the tissues in the body, making them regenerate faster to combat ageing and cell deterioration. Perhaps in Hyunjin’s case the process is going into overdrive to compensate for the state his body was in when your blood entered his circulation.”</p><p>“How are you this smart?” Chan grunts, and Hoseok dares flash him one of his signature smiles.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The house is nearly empty when Hyunjin wakes up. Chan has scared off everyone with his bouts of anger. Even Changbin raised his hands and left Chan to guard Hyunjin’s bedside alone with a dark cloud of fear and rage over his head.</p><p>Changbin didn’t really scold him, though. Not once did he say that he despises Chan for trying, for breaking their mutual promise not to turn any more humans. The vampire simply sighed and patted him on the back as Chan came through the door with an armful of broken human.</p><p>Chan is holding Hyunjin’s hand when his eyelids suddenly flutter. The movement is so insignificant that human eyes would never catch it, but it’s enough.</p><p>A few minutes pass with Hyunjin inching back from death with a slight frown and a twitch of his lips. Chan feels nausea and butterflies, a sick kind of joy knowing that against all odds he brought someone back from the unthinkable.</p><p>“Hyunjin?” he calls out in a raspy voice that doesn’t sound at all like his own.</p><p>“Hyunjin, can you hear me? It’s Chan. You’re at my house.”</p><p>A tiny vampiric groan travels up Hyunjin’s throat, weak on his parted lips.</p><p>“Shh, it’s okay. I know how disorienting it is. You were in an accident, but you’re okay now.”</p><p>Hyunjin’s eyes blink open, so incredibly blue, full of hurt and confusion of a new-born vampire.</p><p>“Hyung, I – I can’t breathe,” Hyunjin gasps with deflated lungs.</p><p>“No, no it’s okay. You no longer have the reflex to breathe. But you can breathe in when you want to so that you can scent and talk.”</p><p>Hyunjin’s head flops to the side as if he has suddenly lost control of it.</p><p>“Can you move your fingers and toes? Please try to do that for me?” Chan urges.</p><p>“I’m tired,” Hyunjin mumbles, his eyes falling shut again, but Chan sees his fingers lifting off the sheet the tiniest bit.</p><p>“You can sleep more soon, but you’ll have to drink something first. A drink, does that sound good?”</p><p>Hyunjin’s eyes stay closed, but his knits his brows together as if Chan’s words are slowly starting to make sense to him.</p><p>“D–drink,” he mumbles. “My teeth feel – tight.”</p><p>Chan wants to do a celebratory cartwheel. “Yes, that’s it. <em>Drink</em>. I’ll be back in half a minute, okay? Don’t try to move.”</p><p>Chan all but runs out of the guest bedroom and downstairs. With trembling hands he takes two glasses out of the cupboard and pours some O blood in one, and some AB in the other. It’s good to find out early what his preference is, so that Chan can teach him to control himself when he encounters a tempting scent.</p><p>Blood sloshing against the sides of the glasses, Chan returns to the room.</p><p>He finds Hyunjin sitting up, legs bent at the knees. He’s inspecting a strand of his hair that is now pure silver.</p><p>Hyunjin doesn’t even glance at the blood. He doesn’t hiss or growl or leap at Chan even though it’s evident that he can control his limbs just fine.</p><p>The queasy feeling in Chan’s stomach intensifies by a tenfold.</p><p>“Hyunjin, I brought something for you to drink,” he says softly, dangling the glass of AB, his personal favourite, in front of him. It smells perfectly good and sweet to his own nose.</p><p>“Yes, I’m thirsty. So thirsty,” Hyunjin repeats with an absent expression on his face. He glances at Chan. “Isn’t that – blood? Why would I drink that?”</p><p>Now that the butterflies are long gone, Chan just wants to throw up. He forces himself to take a shaky step forward and extend his arm. Hyunjin keeps his eyes fixed on Chan’s face.</p><p>“You – there was a terrible accident, but I brought you back as a vampire. You must be s–starving right now. Have some blood, please.”</p><p>Hyunjin grabs the glass, but his eyes are still disbelieving. “I am thirsty,” he says again.</p><p>Chan nods, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he watches Hyunjin open his mouth. The new-born’s fangs are a tiny bit exposed from stress, but he isn’t reacting to the presence of the blood in any way. He observes it with a clinical expression, as if it’s a lab sample he’s going to analyse in class.</p><p>Hyunjin brings it to his lips, nose almost touching the liquid. “This is mildly disturbing,” he mumbles into the blood before taking the tiniest sip.</p><p>“How is it?” Chan forces out. His insides are in freefall, and he doesn’t know where the bottom of the pit is.</p><p>“Doesn’t taste much of anything. Why are you making me drink this?”</p><p>“Hyunjin, listen very closely now. You are a vampire. You need this to live.”</p><p>For the first time something seems to click inside Hyunjin’s disoriented brain.</p><p>“A v–vam... pire?”</p><p>Suddenly, he downs the whole glass in one go and shakes his head. His teeth gleam red as he speaks. “It can’t be – it can’t. Wait? For how long have I been out of it? I have this big exam coming soon. Chan hyung?” The pitch of his voice rises with every consequent question.</p><p>Chan puts a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder and another glass of blood in his hand. “Drink this first, you need it.” He sighs heavily, studying Hyunjin’s altered features. Maybe it would be better not to tell him, to give him more time to rest and accept what has happened – but Hyunjin is too smart for his own good, he could figure it out by himself and make the situation even worse.</p><p>Chan swallows thickly. “I’m really sorry but – vampires cannot get board certified. We aren’t allowed to practice medicine.”</p><p>Hyunjin blinks at him three times, letting it slowly sink in that Chan has taken away his only dream in life. The glass of O blood slips through his fingers, and the spilled liquid starts to absorb into the white linen.</p><p>Hyunjin runs his pale fingers over the stain, quiet,</p><p>sorrowful.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sad now.</p><p>But I finally finished my saga of random BTS cameos, so that’s something.</p><p>My <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Ceasefire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A heart-wrenching scream loud enough to rupture eardrums travels through the room, pulling Jisung out of his mindless haze.</p><p>He finds himself with his face slippery with cooled tears, chapped lips on Minho’s, tongue lodged between the vampire’s teeth as if he wants to suck the dregs of undead life out of his ex. Minho tenses up at the sound, jaw clenching shut around his human’s tongue. Jisung’s whimper of discomfort gets lost in the sounds of agony and apprehensive hissing.</p><p>Someone gets up and starts pacing around. It’s Chan, judging by the hoarse voice. ”I need – I need some fucking air right now – how much exactly is one vampire supposed to take, how much does one clan have to bear –?”</p><p>Chan screams again, sounding completely unhinged, and Jisung pushes down on Minho’s chest until he’s free to turn his head to the side. Chan is fisting his hands in his hair, head cowered. Felix has ended up in Changbin’s arms, and the human looks like he’s trying to get down but Changbin isn’t eager to let him.</p><p>“This is so unfair, this is so <em>fucking unfair</em>,” Chan continues his cursing, stomping his foot against the floor. “Is this the reward for living like an actual, decent person, being cornered like this until we have no choice but to descend to the level of simple beasts –“</p><p>Hyunjin, who is usually quite soft-spoken, suddenly raises his voice over Chan’s tantrum. “Hyung, I want a hug.”</p><p>“What did you say?” Chan asks in a disbelieving voice, chest heaving.</p><p>“I want a hug, and I want to ugly cry about being dead. You can cry too, if you want.”</p><p>The pressure in the air is so high that Jisung has to avert his eyes for a moment. He turns to look at Felix, who has stopped struggling. Instead his best friend is observing the situation with eyes that are soft and glossy like candy floss.</p><p>Chan reaches Hyunjin in a few unsteady steps and crumbles then, sinking to his knees in front of the young vampire. Hyunjin scoots to the edge of the sofa, cautious of his injured leg, and reaches down to wrap his hands around Chan’s shoulders.</p><p>Chan mumbles an endless stream of apologies against Hyunjin’s chest, and the other vampire hushes him after each one.</p><p>Minho leans closer to whisper straight into Jisung’s ear. “It was about time. Those two have been avoiding each other for a year. We should give them a moment.”</p><p>Jisung feels numb all over, but he slides off the vampire’s lap without a word. His lips are still tingling after the impromptu make out session, and with nothing to lean against, his knees buckle under him. Minho promptly offers his own arm, but Jisung refuses it with a quick wave.</p><p>Changbin seems to be having the same train of thought, as he puts Felix down and starts leading him toward the stairs, arm around his human’s waist for support. Felix looks a bit pale and woozy from the feeding, it’s evident that Hyunjin drank quite a bit of his blood.</p><p>Jeongin, whose presence at the other end of the couch Jisung almost managed to forget, is helped up by a tense-looking Seungmin. Jeongin seems tired but alert, as if he’s using all his remaining strength to scan the room for more hypothetical threats such as screaming vampires and horny couples.</p><p>“Let me get you something to eat and drink. Was this your first feeding?” Seungmin asks with a slight frown. Much to Jisung’s surprise, Jeongin shakes his head. He’s rolling his sleeve down over the wound that has stopped bleeding a while ago.</p><p>Seungmin raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question him.</p><p>“I don’t have much of a reaction to venom. But I feel kind of light-headed. He really went at it,” Jeongin adds with a tiny glare in Minho’s direction.</p><p>Jisung suppresses a pang of bitter envy. He takes Minho’s hand in a delicate hold, trying his best not to draw support from the vampire’s injured body. Jisung takes him around the corner, into the hallway that leads to the downstairs bedrooms. Minho inhabits a spacious room right next to Hyunjin’s. It’s furnished in jewel-toned blues, which sets it apart from the rest of the house with more muted colour palettes. The bed is a massive centrepiece, way too wide for a single vampire, which makes Jisung wonder if Minho had planned to bring his boyfriend home with him some day. If things would’ve developed differently from there.</p><p>“How’s your head?” Jisung asks in a strained voice.</p><p>Minho blinks owlishly and tilts his neck from side to side, as if to check that he still has full range of operation.</p><p>“I think it’s much better, the tinnitus is almost gone. My head – ouch – got smashed against a brick wall. I think I had a skull fracture because I heard a weird kind of crack inside my ears.” Minho flinches as he feels up the side of his skull right over his ear.</p><p>Jisung gasps. In hindsight, wildly making out on the couch in a completely unsafe manner doesn’t seem like the best idea.</p><p>Minho scrunches his nose a little, but there’s a tiny smirk on his lips. “You know how new-born babies don’t have their skulls fully formed yet?”</p><p>Jisung shudders at the mental image. “And to think that I touched you so carelessly while you were in that state –“</p><p>“You know that’s nonsense,” Minho scolds in a stern yet tired voice. “Vampires heal extremely fast. You remember how Changbin was up and about, doing a full Lion King re-enactment on Felix mere days after being impaled like a baby pig on a spit?”</p><p>Jisung nods, mouth dry and coarse like it’s coated in sandpaper. He knows Minho is trying to lighten the mood, but he doesn’t have it in him to laugh.</p><p>“Granted I would’ve been in a lot of trouble had Jeongin not been there – as Chan hyung would’ve never let my fangs anywhere near Felix. Hyunjin is lucky that he’s hyung’s favourite and an utterly nonthreatening vampire –“</p><p>Minho glances at Jisung who’s doing everything to control his expression. The vampire looks like he tries to actively swallow his tongue, and he reaches to stroke Jisung’s cheek with the outer edge of his palm to fill the silence. His hands are still covered in dried blood that is now starting to chip off and flake everywhere, but neither of them seem to care about the mess.</p><p>Jisung fights back tears, and surprisingly he wins the battle. Perhaps his tear ducts are resigning due to constant abuse.</p><p>“Shh, hey baby, it’s okay. My Choco boy. You know I only want you, you’re the <em>only</em> human I want.”</p><p>“I hate that nickname,” Jisung objects breathlessly.</p><p>“No, you love it when I tell how sweet you are, how perfect for me.”</p><p>Jisung thinks about taking a step back toward the door, but he’s glued to the spot, by Minho’s bruised face and gentle hands and incredibly sweet words that should mean nothing when they both know they’re just empty talk.</p><p>But hearing those things makes Jisung remember how parched for praise he was.</p><p>“I should probably go home soon,” he says in a dull voice, a dull ache in his heart. He has overstayed his welcome and proven himself utterly unhelpful.</p><p>Minho takes in his words in silence as he leans back  to rest his injured head on some puffy pillows, utterly destroying the pale blue linen in the process.</p><p>“Then why did you kiss me?” he asks in a flat tone.</p><p>Jisung’s eyes are so swollen and sore, another tearless cry burning at the back of his eye sockets. “Do I need a grand reason for kissing you?” he deflects.</p><p>Minho tuts softly. “No you don’t, you know I’m always yours. But I was just wondering.”</p><p>It feels like an angry wasp has just stung Jisung straight in the heart. It hurts at first and then turns into a burning numbness. “Always is quite a considerable amount of time.” He’s not sure why he’s getting stuck on semantics right now, but it feels important.</p><p>“Yeah – always,” Minho reiterates slowly. He seems to have a hard time keeping his eyes open. “Will you stay here with me? You can’t go home anyway, so you might as well watch over me for a few hours.”</p><p>“Are you going to prevent me from leaving?” Jisung frowns.</p><p>“Even if I can’t convince you to stay, Chan and Felix will. The vampires that are coming for us – they’re ruthless. They wouldn’t hesitate to capture and torture you.”</p><p>It’s not that Jisung was actually going to leave, but the word ‘torture’ still makes him flinch. Despite his drowsiness, Minho sounds deadly serious.</p><p>“It’s – yeah, I guess it’s for the better. You might have a concussion or – something.”</p><p>Minho serves him a sharp look, but Jisung dares climb on the bed, kneeling at the vampire’s feet.</p><p>“Sleep with me, please,” Minho says, which makes Jisung almost fall off the edge.</p><p>“Beside me,” he corrects, “sleep beside me until I’m healed. You have to take responsibility for kissing me.”</p><p>Jisung crawls forward without thinking much. He grabs a clean pillow from the side and places it next to Minho’s. He slips under the duvet fully clothed.</p><p>“I think you should take your clothes off,” Jisung whispers, and it’s Minho’s turn to get all squirmy, eyes darting from side to side. “I mean, I don’t want to wake up next to you being all sticky and gross.”</p><p>“Look at us go with all these innuendos,” Minho breathes out. He obeys though, pulling his shirt off. It’s partly sticky, partly crusty and smells horrible, and Jisung has to cover his nose with the edge of the blanket.</p><p>“It’s probably the sexual frustration,” Jisung squeaks into the soft fabric.</p><p>Minho’s eyes become fierce all of a sudden, jaw clenching tight. His bare chest almost glows, collarbones shifting as he tosses the shirt as far away from them as possible.</p><p>“You haven’t – never mind, I shouldn’t be asking,” he mutters.</p><p>“I haven’t.”</p><p>Minho licks his lips. “That’s good – I mean <em>alright</em>. Okay.”</p><p>“Have you?” Jisung asks. His voice gets strangely distorted.</p><p>“God, no. Of course not. Not since we –“</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Jisung quickly turns to lie on his side, facing the window in order to hide the stupid smile plastered all over his face.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Some hours later Jisung wakes up to realise that he has somehow become the little spoon. Minho’s heavy arm is slung over his waist, pulling him flush against the vampire’s acutely naked chest. Minho seems to have gotten rid of his jeans too, leaving him in nothing but some dangerously thin underwear.</p><p>Jisung does the only thing he comes up with and starts wriggling like a worm on a fishhook.</p><p>It’s a grave mistake, as Minho’s body reacts to his presence right away. It’s not a huge surprise, seeing they were always extremely compatible in that area.</p><p>“Hyung, wake up.”</p><p>“I’m awake, I’m awake” Minho groans in a contradictorily sleepy voice.</p><p>Jisung stops squirming, trying to look over his shoulder instead. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>Minho blows some cool air out of his lungs, and the breeze tickles his neck. “Not well at all. I have this boner that won’t go away.”</p><p>An aborted shriek comes out of Jisung’s open mouth, and he twists his upper body so that they’re face-to-face with each other. He’s relieved to see that the awful swelling on Minho’s face has gone down. His hair is still bloodied, but it’s safe to assume that his head is getting better under the mess. The wounds on his arm are still visible, but they’re no longer bleeding, just two lines shiny with fresh scar tissue, a bright shade of pink.</p><p>“Is this really the time to crack jokes?” Jisung asks, trying to feign anger while running his fingers over where his vampire was hurt.</p><p>“I am not exactly joking,” Minho corrects. His eyes are rapidly filling with thick, smoky lust, fresh arousal he doesn’t act upon. It merely hangs in the air, hot and heavy and it makes Jisung’s insides turn into liquid led.</p><p>Jisung pulls his hand away and without a word nor a rational thought, climbs on top of his vampire. He presses his clothed chest against Minho’s bare one, breathing in sync with him. Their eyes lock, and Minho swallows with great difficulty. The vampire isn’t touching Jisung, his hands limply at his sides, palms facing up.</p><p>Jisung’s hips start moving on their own accord, doing tiny circles, rutting against Minho through the few layers of cloth between them. Minho’s hands soon find their way onto the small of his back, squeezing, keeping him close, and they both gasp in tiny sparks of pleasure that are way too little and too much at the same time.</p><p>Jisung’s mouth is hovering a few centimetres away from Minho’s. The black and blue bruising under his eye makes him look more vampiric, <em>beautiful</em>. “You look like shit. You should take a shower,” he whispers out loud, leaning down to press a small but rather wet kiss on Minho’s parted lips.</p><p>“I love you,” Minho gasps back, mirroring the movement to chase more friction, more something.</p><p>Jisung whines low in his throat and doesn’t care if someone hears, there’s nothing that would make the situation any worse than it already is. He’s rutting against his ex, covered in blood and dirt and desperation.</p><p>He swore to never let it come to this again.</p><p>But then – Minho has had blood fresh from the source, he’s in control, it’s okay, it’s –</p><p>“Fuck me, please.” It comes out as a pathetic, broken moan.</p><p>Minho hums in agreement. The vampire’s hands are everywhere all at once, tugging on Jisung’s belt loops and the hem of his shirt.</p><p>“I missed you so much, baby,” Minho says, it’s barely more than a whisper. “I missed you so much I thought I was going insane.”</p><p>It’s just this once, just to take the edge of the pain off, Jisung lies to himself as he pulls Minho’s boxers down, taking in the sight with the eyes of a starved man.</p><p>“Missed you too hyung, want you so bad, just hurry please.”</p><p>Jisung gets exactly what he wants, because his hyung always knows what he needs, reads him like an open book. After some prep that is barely enough to count, Jisung rides Minho until he collapses against his chest in a sweaty heap, and Minho takes it from there. They’re loud and uncaring and stupid, but it feels so fucking good that Jisung can’t do more than grit his teeth together as his vampire takes care of him.</p><p>Then it’s over, and they lie side to side, Jisung panting and Minho still. Seconds stretch into minutes, into slower, deeper breathing and lingering touches, intertwined fingers.</p><p>“Do you regret it?” Minho asks.</p><p>Jisung bites his tongue before speaking through his teeth. “Yeah, I regret it.” He realises now that they didn’t share a single kiss during sex.</p><p>“Why? Because you didn’t want it?”</p><p>“Because I somehow thought it could give me some – closure I guess,” Jisung says.</p><p>Minho still isn’t breathing in. Jisung wonders if it’s his chocolate scent that is bothering him so much.</p><p>“Closure,” Minho repeats in a hollow voice.</p><p>Jisung is derailing, spiralling, but he doesn’t know how to back down.</p><p>“Yes, I mean – it’s not like anything has changed between us. It’s always like this. We have great sex, I cave. Then you remember that you’re a vampire with needs, and we’re back to square one.”</p><p>It’s totally unfair to put it like that, but the words escape him all too easily. Jisung is too bitter at the world, at his own body and its betrayal.</p><p>Minho starts shaking, but he doesn’t let go of Jisung’s hand. “What can I do, Sungie? Tell me what to do so I can fix this.”</p><p>Jisung pushes himself up to rest his weight against his elbows. The sweat is cooling on his skin, making him shiver. “Do you really want me to tell you what to do?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“Then just kill me!”</p><p>Minho blinks, mouth agape. He slowly raises a hand and cards his fingers through the stiff strands of hair clumped together with blood.</p><p>Jisung is still riding his wave of volatile emotion. “Quite frankly, I don’t know how to keep living like this. I no longer have the strength to pretend that I’m fine, that I’m holding up when I’m clearly a mess. Just kill me, and we can be together.”</p><p>“But Sungie – you can’t say that so lightly, as if it’s that easy.”</p><p>Of course it’s not easy. Jisung is asking for the love of his life to murder him. He closes his eyes and grits his teeth to get the next words out. “It seems pretty easy to me. Don’t say you haven’t at least thought about it.”</p><p>Minho sits up with a pained groan. His eyes are two bottomless pits. “Oh course I’ve thought about it, in my deepest darkest fantasies. But I could never do that to you.”</p><p>Jisung scrambles off the bed. He’s naked and sticky, with a trail of wetness going down his inner thigh, but he feels powerful hovering over Minho. “Why not? After my grandma passed, there are no relatives left who particularly care about me. With my job I’m awake at night anyway, I don’t mind the nocturnal life that much. And I would get to – be with you. Like an actual couple.”</p><p>Minho gets up as well and starts rummaging through a pile of clothes left on a plush armchair.</p><p>“It’s not that simple,” Minho repeats, pulling an old t-shirt over his head and throwing Jisung another one with a pair of boxers. It feels gross putting on clothes when they’re still covered in filth from head to toe.</p><p>Jisung gets in a one-sided fight with an unusually tight shirt collar and ends up mumbling his reply from inside the shirt. “What is not simple, enlighten me?”</p><p>Minho pulls the collar over Jisung’s head with an exaggerated sigh. “First of all – you would <em>die</em> at the age of twenty, and for what? For the astronomically slim possibility that you still want me and want to live with me after a couple of years putting up with this mess?” Minho gestures wildly at himself.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I want to live with you? That’s a horrible excuse.”</p><p>“Don’t interrupt me. As I was saying, you would be dead, legally and technically deceased. Just because I walk and sleep and speak doesn’t change the fact. And secondly, it’s not a sure thing. Things can go wrong, just as happened with Hyunjin. And even if I managed to successfully turn you, there’s a very real possibility that you would be unable to handle human company for several years. You couldn’t be around Felix without your brain feeding you dozens of creative ways to lure him into some dark corner and drink until there’s not a drop left.”</p><p>Jisung suppresses a flinch, but Minho must notice it. “Do you still think about people like that? Do you think about draining me?”</p><p>“Of course I do, all the fucking time. Even Chan who’s the most in-control vampire I’ve ever met must have fantasies of ripping Felix’s throat open. Although he would never openly admit to it.”</p><p>Minho pinches the bridge of his nose, and they stare at each other for a few seconds.</p><p>“Do you still want to be a vampire?”</p><p>Jisung doesn’t avert his gaze. He sees the paths diverging in front of his eyes. Distinct and equally full of traps and thorns.</p><p>“I love you,” he says. They both know it’s a comprehensive answer to the question.</p><p>Minho seems to be out of counterarguments. He’s blinking his cat-like eyes in a slow, irregular pattern.</p><p>”Maybe we should continue this debate a little later?” Jisung says as a peace offering. “We reek.”</p><p>“Yeah, we should – do that. I could go take a shower in Chan’s bathroom if you take the downstairs one –“</p><p>Jisung is unimpressed, and he lets it show. “We just had full-on sex, and now you don’t want to see me naked again?”</p><p>“That’s not it, I just thought –“</p><p>“Want to suck me off in the shower? You know how quarrelling makes me horny,” Jisung interrupts. If he already let himself take advantage of Jeongin’s selfless donation, he might as well go all out with the depravity.</p><p>Minho chokes on his spit, but there’s a little spark of interest behind his eyes. “Yeah, I can definitely do – that.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix seems to wake up from his venom-induced sleep in stages. There’s a small frown developing on his face, and he seems to react positively to Changbin murmuring reassuring things into his ear. Felix’s hands curl into tiny fists in the vampire’s shirt, one he stole from Chan’s dresser in cold blood because it smelled of the cologne Chan likes to wear to business meetings.</p><p>“You can go back to sleep. It’s just the rest of the venom getting out of your system, it must make you a little restless,” Changbin murmurs.</p><p>There’s a glistening drop of sweat over Felix’s cupid’s bow, and he’s letting out tiny whimpers.</p><p>“Did you have a bad dream, Lix?”</p><p>Felix opens his eyes, looking a bit disoriented. “No. Is hyung okay?”</p><p>“Yeah. He has a lot of catching up to do with Hyunjin. They’re probably reminiscing about the past and coming up with effective and painful ways to tear Park Chaeyoung apart,” Changbin answers truthfully.</p><p>Felix shudders, but there’s a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. His human lifts a hand from under the covers to rub over his eyes, which unfortunately brings his wrist straight into Changbin’s line of sight.</p><p>It’s surprisingly maddening to see Felix bearing the mark of another vampire, and before his rational brain has time to catch him, Changbin starts rubbing himself all over Felix’s, brushing his hands and nose over pulse points and over Hyunjin’s fang marks. Felix doesn’t stop him, but he starts giggling when it gets too ticklish.</p><p>“You know hyung, we haven’t had a chance to spend much time just the two of us, not after you recovered from the injury,” Felix points out, craning his neck to give his boyfriend better access.</p><p>Changbin stills, hand gently pressing down on Felix’s slender throat, right over the carotid artery.</p><p>“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love being with the both of you, but sometimes I miss how easy it is to hang out with you. Chan hyung tends to take everything so seriously,” Felix continues with a soft smile. His throat bobs against Changbin’s palm.</p><p>Changbin smiles back, liquid warmth pooling in his stomach, part interest and part pure fondness. “Yeah, that he does.”</p><p>Felix reaches to place his small hand on Changbin’s cheek, his wrist right against the corner of his mouth, smelling heavenly.</p><p>“I like you so much, Changbin hyung.”</p><p>“I know you do, you don’t have to try to make me feel be–“</p><p>Felix interrupts him. “What I’m saying is that I’m not with you just because Chan hyung is in love with you. I like you as Seo Changbin.”</p><p>Changbin tries his best not to cry like a baby, but a few treacherous tears slip out of the inner corner of his left eye, sliding down the side of his nose.</p><p>Felix’s voice goes incredibly soft. “I just wanted you to know that.“</p><p>“Felix, I –“</p><p>“Kiss me, hyung,” his human demands.</p><p>Changbin can’t refuse. The kiss is soft and heady and sweet.</p><p>“Will Chan hyung be okay?” Felix whispers against his mouth. “I’ve never seen him break like that.”</p><p>Changbin hums, the sound is a bit melancholic to his own ears. “I think so. We’ll figure it out, this whole mess. We will keep you and your friend safe. I promise you.”</p><p>“But I need my hyungs safe just as much. I don’t want you going out there seeking revenge on anyone’s behalf, especially not mine. I don’t need that, I just need you.”</p><p>“Lixie, we’re vampires. It’s about the clan’s honour as much as human concepts of justice and revenge,” Changbin explains, still unable to shake the sadness in his voice.</p><p>“I hate that you could be in danger because of honour and tradition.”</p><p>“We’re vampires, our lives should be dangerous and exciting,” Changbin dodges.</p><p>“You’re <em>my</em> vampires, so you should sit in front of a desk all day and be miserably bored.”</p><p>“And what would we get in return for our sacrifice?” Changbin asks before he can staple his mouth shut.</p><p>“I guess you could –” Felix huffs and pouts, eyes getting sharp instead of sleepy, “you could just take the frustration out on me, but apparently you prefer going around getting into fistfights.”</p><p>Changbin groans loudly and places a hand on Felix’s mouth. “Don’t say things like that, I’ve barely come out from my latest trip to feral land.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes are smiling. The human licks a wet stripe over Changbin’s palm in petty revenge.</p><p>“Aish!” Changbin pulls his hand away at a vampiric speed. His gums are aching from one little lick.</p><p>“So sorry,” Felix says in a syrupy voice, a voice that makes Changbin’s imagination go wild, makes him think about Felix making it up to him with something else than a hand in his mouth. Casually appalling fantasies like that.</p><p>“Although, that sounds a lot like a you problem,” Felix mumbles with a wicked grin.</p><p>“I could make it your problem, quite easily in fact.”</p><p>Where exactly did that sentence come from?</p><p>“Or – not,” Changbin quickly adds, which does nothing to hide his bubbling embarrassment.</p><p>But Felix is already on the move like a tiny predator, warm legs sprawled over Changbin’s cold ones.</p><p>“I don’t want to think. Will you help me not to think?” Felix whispers, spit glistening on his lips like a promise as he hovers over Changbin.</p><p>“Anything for you.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>They find Chan and Hyunjin in the kitchen, sitting on bar stools at the island counter and sipping blood and some type of alcohol on the rocks, probably thinking they look extra cool while doing so.</p><p>Chan’s eyes are puffy and red from recent tears, and his hair is a tangled mess, but there’s a languid smile of a drunkard on his lips as he sways from side to side in his seat.</p><p>Hyunjin is leaning into his hands, peeking at Changbin through splayed fingers. He has thankfully taken a shower at some point, seeing that he’s no longer covered in blood.</p><p>“– we were just minding our business and then,” Chan slurs, ice cubes clinking together at the bottom of his glass. The room stinks of whiskey and an unholy mixture of all blood types, a concoction no sober vampire would willingly drink.</p><p>Chan toys with the rim of his glass. “And <em>then</em>, that man grabbed your wrist, remember? I was like ‘I’m going to snap his neck!’ Do you think he was at least a bit scared when I growled at him?”</p><p>Hyunjin snorts, trying to pat Chan on the back. Unfortunately he loses balance and spills his drink all over the counter. “Yeah yeah, you showed him, Channie hyung. But did I ever tell you this? He turned out to be a legit talent scout. Maybe I’ll just become an idol now that I’m otherwise useless to humanity.”</p><p>“If you want to sink into that dark rabbit hole of capitalist depravity, I’ll be sure to support you every step of the way,” Chan says solemnly, a hand over his heart.</p><p>“That was a joke,” Hyunjin laughs obnoxiously. “And besides, don’t you own like one third of JYP’s stock at this point? So it’s your hole of deposit– no, <em>depravity</em> as well.”</p><p>“Ha, that was because I was annoyed at the lack of artistic direction. I’m a true patron of the arts so I take that shit personally.”</p><p>So they’re both drunk out of their minds.</p><p>“I have never seen a drunk vampire before. I thought you had a naturally high alcohol tolerance or something,” Felix says in a low, partly amused voice.</p><p>Changbin gestures at the kitchen counter. There’s a whiskey bottle with nothing but a few drops left, sitting proudly between the new rice cooker and a bowl of fruit.</p><p>Felix’s eyes widen. “They had the whole bottle?”</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>“I thought they were going to talk about stuff. Not get wasted.” A slight irritation creeps into Felix’s voice, but he seems to be getting worried, too.</p><p>Changbin walks up to Chan and pulls his pliant body backwards to rest against his chest. Chan tilts his head back to take a curious peek at him. The line of his throat is beautifully exposed to Changbin.</p><p>“You boys had some drinks?”</p><p>Chan bites his lip, eyes dim inside. Even though he is an adorable drunk, Changbin can feel Chan’s hurt inside his own body, gnawing at him.</p><p>Changbin cups his cheek tenderly. “It’s dawn soon. Time for bed.”</p><p>Chan pouts. His eyes never leave Changbin’s, neck still bent in a way he would never do while sober, hands blindly fumbling for the glass. Changbin reaches over Chan’s shoulders to trap his hands into place. He certainly doesn’t need more alcohol in his system.</p><p>“You’ve been a very bad hyung, teaching baby Hyunjinnie here to wash his problems away with booze.”</p><p>“No – am not bad. That bitch is bad,” Chan reasons.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right hyung. She’s very bad.”</p><p>Changbin glances at Felix, who still seems unsure of what to make of the situation.</p><p>“Listen, mind if you stay here with Felix while I go tuck Hyunjin in bed?” Hyunjin perks up at the mention of his name. Changbin puts an arm around the vampire, even though his leg seems to carry his weight again.</p><p>“I can take him upstairs while you do that,” Felix suggests. He’s standing next to Chan, who’s eyeing his human up and down with a hopeful expression.</p><p>“Please don’t,” Changbin sighs, “wait for me.”</p><p>“Why, is he going to jump me or something?”</p><p>Changbin grimaces. “No, but he’ll get extra clingy though. We were travelling through North Korea one summer, found a stash of moonshine in the ground. So we did what any self-respecting vampires would and got absolutely shit-faced. Next thing I knew, Chan was clinging to me like an overgrown sloth. Your human body wouldn’t be able to handle an onslaught like that.”</p><p>“You went all the way to North Korea to steal alcohol from poor people? What happened then?”</p><p>“We sort of cuddled until we were sober, and then we left Chan’s limited edition Rolex behind as payment. He still cries after that watch sometimes. But now that I think about it, it was really obvious that we were in love with each other. Damn.”</p><p>Felix has an exasperated smile on his face. “It’s good that you’re at least self-aware.”</p><p>Chan slumps in his seat and wraps his hands around Felix’s slender waist, and the human gasps from the crushing grip.</p><p>“That’s what I was talking about. He’s a walking health hazard while drunk. Try not to give him anything to latch onto.”</p><p>Felix blinks innocently. “So I probably shouldn’t tell him about the blowjob I gave you, then?”</p><p>Oh no. Not that.</p><p>In the end, it takes both Changbin and Seungmin to pry Chan’s arms from around Felix’s torso.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This whole chapter was just them being a horny mess, and I’m not even mad. The small break from action was very much needed I think.</p><p>The next chapter will be the climax of the main story (chapters 21–22 are the epilogue), so I might need extra time to put it together. I’ll keep you updated on <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter!</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Last Stand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Blood and violence, mentions of feeling nauseous</p><p>If you’re interested, here’s a song rec to set the mood for this chapter: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sepnIuRbYF4">Hollow Talk</a> by Choir of Young Believers.</p><p>So, here we are. The last chapter before the epilogue. I can’t believe I've written two hundred pages in two months.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix appears in Chan’s dream for the first time. It’s a pale shadow of the man he loves, only the silhouette of his nose and maybe the tip of his chin. It’s all his brain is able to produce after centuries of data corruption caused by overriding the same nerve connections over and over again.</p><p>The air smells of dust and strawberries. Felix is walking past Chan with spring in his step, disappearing into a wisp of smoke that always circles the plane of his dreams. Chan wants to reach his hand and stop Felix from going, but he’s unable to move. There’s another human as well, someone Chan can instantly recognise by the line of her shoulders.</p><p>Chan looks down and sees that he’s wearing the loose, ill-fitting clothes of a slave. His beloved companion points at Chan. Felix turns his head as well, and they stare at him without eyes.</p><p>Chan can still feel their gaze on his bare collarbones.</p><p>“You were a slave, Chan,” she says. “Will you always be a slave?”</p><p>Chan’s maker used to ask him the same question. He asked it over and over again until Chan would answer with confidence.</p><p>But Chan will always have to prove it, work a little harder. Get better to be enough for Felix.</p><p>Or Felix will leave just as she did.</p><p>The strawberry scent grows heavier, so real that it burns the inside of Chan’s nose. He has a peculiarly asymmetrical headache that radiates from the back of his eye socket all the way down to the hinge of his jaw.</p><p>He slams a palm over his achy eyes with a small grunt.</p><p>“Hungover?” It’s an acutely familiar voice, but Chan’s scattered mind can’t quite place it.</p><p>His mouth is dry, there’s only venom under his tongue and no saliva. The sensation of undiluted venom slowly sliding to the back of his mouth and past his velum makes Chan gag. He lets out a sound, a pathetic little whimper of misery.</p><p>The low, soothing voice gets closer. It washes over him like warm night rain. “I would offer you Gatorade and ibuprofen, but quite frankly I have no clue how to cure a vampire’s hangover.”</p><p>Chan slides his hand down just enough so that he can take a tiny peek at the speaker. For a moment his human looks similar to how he was in the dream, lacking a defined form. He’s lit from behind, blond hairs frizzy and sticking out after rubbing against a pillow. The tips of his ears glow pink when the light shines through them.</p><p>“Felix?” The human’s name sounds soft and fragile in his mouth. Chan has never told Felix how much he likes saying his name.</p><p>“Aren’t you a clever hyung.” Felix’s tone is teasing, domestic. It lures Chan out from the labile construction of his dreamscape. And with that, a few loose pieces of his memory shift into place. It’s an unpleasant process, as though a young human has crawled inside his head and forced a circle-shaped block through a triangle hole.</p><p>“Is Hyunjin alive?” Chan asks is a groggy voice. He licks over his teeth and immediately fights his gag reflex again. For some reason the venom glands behind his fangs won’t stop secreting the stuff.</p><p>“Barely. You’re so lucky that vampires can’t get alcohol poisoning,” Felix replies with a condescending smack of his lips.</p><p>Chan clears his throat, desperate for a distraction from his own misery. “Did you really fool around with Changbin without me?”</p><p>The door opens just then. Felix smiles at Changbin who enters the room, hair damp and glistening after a recent shower. “So that’s the part your drunk brain deemed important enough to remember.”</p><p>“You can’t blame me, though. It sounded kind of hot, how Felix mentioned it so casually,” Chan says in a small voice.</p><p>Felix sticks out his tongue, and Changbin reaches a hand to comb through his mussed hair.</p><p>“To answer to your question Lixie, there’s really nothing you can do to help. Hyung’s body needs to burn away the alcohol on its own. Vampires tend to handle their liquor really well, but unfortunately our livers aren’t that good at breaking down anything but human blood.”</p><p>“Wow, I needed an anatomical lesson this early in the evening,” Chan says dryly.</p><p>“You’re allowed to wallow in self-pity, but our human was just being worried,” Changbin scolds softly.</p><p>Chan swallows laboriously. For some reason the contradiction between Changbin’s voice that is like wet cotton and his eyes that drill holes through makes him anxious and fidgety. Chan gets up from the bed, muscles protesting and headache flaring as he struggles to pull on a pair of sweatpants.</p><p>Felix appears beside him, brushing the side of Chan’s arm, touch gentle and tentative. “Hyung, you do know that you can always talk to us, right? You don’t have to keep stuff all bottled up because you’re the leader and a big scary vampire.”</p><p>“He’s not that big nor scary,” Changbin notes, still speaking in that infuriatingly soft voice.</p><p>“I don’t want to make you worried. I should be taking care of you,” Chan tries.</p><p>“We take care of each other,” Felix corrects. His look like two amber marbles. “Whether you wanted it or not, we were extremely worried the entire night, or at least whenever Changbin hyung wasn’t too busy telling me that my mouth has no right being that nice.”</p><p>Changbin seems to shudder at the memory before he can get a hold of himself.</p><p>A phantom hand wraps around Chan’s still heart and squeezes a little, but he still appreciates Felix’s attempt to make him smile. “Last night was – a lot. I know getting wasted wasn’t the best course of action, but neither of us knew how to not implode without some sort of distraction.”</p><p>“So, did you get to work stuff out with Hyunjin in the end? I didn’t realise that you two so close like that before he – before all that happened.” Felix does a vague, round gesture with his hand.</p><p>Changbin makes an uncertain noise in his throat. Chan meets his eyes for a nanosecond and then exhales through his nose.</p><p>“Yeah, I didn’t inform you of the fact on purpose, and Hyunjin agreed to follow my lead because the bastard is way too polite with these things. I felt so ashamed that I didn’t even want to admit how much it hurt to see Hyunjin struggle. I thought I could just – teach him how to be a good vampire, a strong fighter – as if it could make it hurt less somehow. But all that time I kept pushing him away when he needed me most.”</p><p>The words rest heavy and sour on his tongue.</p><p>Hyunjin cried a lot last night. Chan, too, cried a lot.</p><p>“We talked for many hours. I asked him if he wanted a drink. I poured one for him, my favourite whiskey. It was all downhill from there.”</p><p>Felix glances at Changbin before speaking. Both of their expressions are soft and careful. “But I guess Hyunjin doesn’t blame you for anything?”</p><p>“On the contrary. He kept making bad jokes and groping me all over. He tried to make his clan leader and ex-boss feel better about <em>his own death</em>.”</p><p>Changbin scoffs. “You’re our Channie hyung more than any of those things, and you know that very well.”</p><p>Chan purses his lips together. The ache in his chest spreads into his arms and turns almost pleasant. Like he deserves it. He has enough self-awareness to realise that it’s a fucked up thought.</p><p>“I’m starving,” Felix announces with an airy clap. “I was more than happy to help Hyunjin not die, but I do feel very much drained now.”</p><p>Both Chan and Changbin growl softly at the mention, and Felix rolls his eyes dramatically. Much to Chan’s relief, they’re slipping back to blissful domesticity. If that includes getting irrationally jealous over a disabled baby vampire getting a taste of one’s human.</p><p>Chan kind of wants to push Felix down onto the bed and hold him down while he licks over the marks left behind by Hyunjin. Maybe put his own fang marks next to them for comparison. There would be no competition of whose teeth are thicker and sharper –</p><p>“What would you like to eat?” Changbin asks, regaining composure much faster than Chan. The vampire reaches behind Chan to pat him firmly where his lower back meets his ass. It’s an awkward mix of a spank and reassuring press, and it doesn’t help at all that Chan’s crapulent mind doesn’t want to decide whether he’s being horny or just a generally anxious wreck of a vampire.</p><p>“Pancakes?” Felix suggests in a hopeful voice.</p><p>Changbin smiles, large hand still hovering over the small of Chan’s back. “You’re in luck that I took that western cooking class all those years ago.”</p><p>Felix beams, licking his lips as if he can already taste the dark syrup and whipped cream and every other sugary condiment he’s willing to shove into his body.</p><p>“When Chan hyung had the worst of his wanderlust and moved to Australia for a few decades, I actually did some useful stuff back home,” Changbin continues.</p><p>“Yah, I made us a lot of money during that time. Where do you think your generous allowance came from? If I recall correctly, you haven’t worked a night in your life after realising that I was the breadwinner of this family.”</p><p>Chan proves his point by gesturing at the shelf that sits a bit crooked on the wall due to Minho’s inability to use a bubble level. He has a few dusty mementos that he hasn’t dared throw away over the years. The centrepiece of his collection is a trophy labelled ‘Undead Investor of The Year 1997’.</p><p>“And also, that’s how I can exclude you from conversations if I want to,” Chan adds in English with the thickest accent he can muster with his painfully hungover brain.</p><p>Felix chuckles. “Careful now. I just might take you up on it and start calling you ‘mate’.”</p><p>“What if I have a mate kink?” Chan counters with a weak smile.</p><p>Changbin clicks his tongue. “And the pancakes are off the table. A true pity.”</p><p>“That’s not fair,” Felix complains, “Chan hung was the one messing with us.”</p><p>“And you’re an adorably easy scapegoat, Lix. Let’s go before Chan decides to vomit all over the bed. I don’t think we’re in the clear just yet.”</p><p>Suddenly that feels like a very real possibility. Chan’s stomach seems to clench around nothing, and he has to press his eyes shut for a few arduously passing seconds as he rides the lurching waves of nausea.</p><p>After Chan is certain his stomach won’t flip inside out from the slightest movement, they make their way downstairs like three ducklings in a row, matching t-shirts and everything. Much to Chan’s surprise, Minho and Jisung are already in the kitchen together. Minho is leaning against his elbows, observing carefully as Jisung adds a heaping spoonful of sugar into his coffee and swirls it counterclockwise an excessive number of times. The spoon makes a soft clinking sound hitting the edges of the porcelain. It presents a painful façade of normalcy.</p><p>The two of them barely acknowledge their existence, rather pretending that the disproportionately sweet coffee is an important science experiment. It appears that Chan’s deep state of inebriation spared him a lot of involuntary voyeurism.</p><p>Felix doesn’t get fazed by the cold treatment. He scurries around the island counter and plops down on the bar stool next to Jisung. He places a hand on his friend’s shoulder, squeezing tightly.</p><p>“Are you okay? Did something happen?” he asks quietly.</p><p>A blush is creeping up Jisung’s neck. The human nods a little too cheerily.</p><p>Felix’s eyes are sharp as he eyes his friend up and down. “I’m a little disappointed in you.”</p><p>Jisung chokes on the steam rising from his coffee cup.</p><p>“Why would you lie to me?” Felix continues with a raised brow.</p><p>“Wh–what do you mean?”</p><p>“You slept together, didn’t you?”</p><p>Minho flinches violently, and Jisung looks ready to sink through the ground.</p><p>“Everyone noticed,” Seungmin says dryly as he steps into the kitchen. He’s dragging dazed-looking Hyunjin forward by the arm. The baby vampire looks like he didn’t have as much luck keeping his insides intact.</p><p>Jisung squeaks and then hides his face into Minho’s arm.</p><p>“Are you back together?” Felix asks gently.</p><p>Jisung shakes his head against Minho’s arm, and the vampire simply stares at Felix with an empty expression. Felix doesn’t shy away from Minho’s gaze – on the contrary. He stares back with calm, observant eyes as if he’s trying to evaluate whether he needs to kick the vampire’s ass or give him a big hug.</p><p>Changbin clears his throat and makes a big number of getting a bag of flour out of the pantry, complaining that he’s way too short to reach anything on the upper shelf. Seungmin leads Hyunjin to sit down at the dining table, a preventative measure before he faints or throws up again. He then goes to Changbin’s rescue with a dramatic sigh. The little performance is enough to draw attention away from the ex-couple.</p><p>Soon thin yet fluffy pancakes are sizzling cheerily in a cast iron skillet, providing yet another diversion. Felix is salivating already, digging the fridge for a jar of blueberry jam that was “supposed to be there somewhere”. Changbin is proud of his cooking skills, and even Jisung flashes him a tentative smile from the crook of Minho’s neck as he’s served a fresh stack of pancakes.</p><p>Chan’s pounding headache is finally fading into the background. As his physical discomfort lessens, the scene before his eyes starts to feel more and more like a beautiful daydream, a die cut scrap that displays an idealistic pastoral removed from the outside world with a pair of scissors. </p><p>There’s a smudge of jam at the corner of Felix’s mouth. Jisung drinks his coffee in one large gulp and burns his tongue. Hyunjin is sipping on a thimble-sized glass of blood like it’s some kind of miracle remedy. Changbin snakes a hand around Chan’s waist and tickles mercilessly. Chan squeals and questions if Changbin loves him after all.</p><p>Changbin surveys the room with his warm eyes, and says the words without hesitation, without shame, in front of everyone. “I love you Chan hyung.”</p><p>Then he tickles him some more until Chan nearly falls off his chair.</p><p>It’s perfection in a lopsided way, something Chan has never quite had and never known he wanted. It’s ugly and domestic and familial.</p><p>It’s his family.</p><p>He wants it to never end.</p><p>He has it for the entirety of <em>half an hour</em>.  </p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The nonnegotiated truce breaks with a relatively unsignificant sound. Minho grabs Jisung’s thigh with an abrupt motion, which makes his human let out a strangled noise of surprise.</p><p>Minho stands up. “Oh fuck. Chan.”</p><p>Just like that, the glass tower of happiness Chan has built himself comes crashing down. The air still smells of burnt butter and laughter.</p><p>“You haven’t received a duelling challenge by any chance?” Minho asks, inhaling deeply.</p><p>“Maybe it got lost in the mail. You know snail mail has a tendency to be unreliable” Chan answers slowly. His brain seems to refuse to register the meaning behind Minho’s words.</p><p>A few seconds pass in unbelieving silence.</p><p>“How many?” It’s Changbin. The vampire has moved to stand by Felix’s side, hands on their human’s shoulders. Minho is crouching over Jisung.</p><p>The air feels explosive and suffocating, filled with propane and sour strawberry.</p><p>Chan feels the familiar tingle in his gums. “Do we have time to move the humans?”</p><p>Minho glances at them both. “Can’t count. Not enough time. We’re getting surrounded.”</p><p>“What’s happening?” Jisung squeaks. He’s standing up on shaky feet leaning heavily against Minho’s shoulder.</p><p><em>Getting surrounded</em>.</p><p>Attacking a clan at their own lair is considered blasphemy. Parks should be presenting them with an official challenge to the leader, and Chan would have to honour that and duel with Chaeyoung.</p><p>But Chan should’ve known the Parks to be above all laws, both vampiric and human. Every time Chan expected common decency from them, he has set himself up for failure. He should’ve hidden Felix in some other country. He should’ve swallowed his hybris and left Korea with him.</p><p>But Chan was selfish and territorial, blinded by his vampiric pride, grossly optimistic. He believed Chaeyoung could never rile the rest of the clan up against theirs, at least not in a way that includes a literal war crime.</p><p>No one has answered Jisung’s question. The vampires are panicking, humans shifting on their feet with bitter fear polluting their blood.</p><p>For now, his incompetence matters little. Chan can’t smell what his tracker does, doesn’t have scope of the impending threat, but Minho’s nose hasn’t betrayed them once. Chan needs to trust, and he needs to command.</p><p>“Changbin, Minho. Take our humans into my room and make sure that the door is barred with something heavy to slow them down,” Chan starts, letting every drop of authority seep into his voice. “As your leader I give you the following instructions. “Lead the attackers away from Felix and Jisung at any cost. Distract them, kill them. Alert me or Changbin if you see Chaeyoung. If we take her down, the others might disperse.”</p><p>Chan meets Changbin’s eyes for a fleeting second. He sees nothing but devotion.</p><p>“Go!” he yells.</p><p>Everything happens in a blur. The humans are thrown over shoulders like wet rags and rushed out of the kitchen. Chan’s eyes follow them, and he catches a glimpse of Felix’s pale face as he dangles over Changbin’s shoulder.</p><p>Chan regrets not kissing him goodbye.</p><p>“We don’t know how many of them there will be. If she has managed to bend the entire clan to her will, the fight could be one to three.”</p><p>Hyunjin swallows audibly. At least he’s standing now, fully alert and seemingly forgotten that he was experiencing the worst hangover of his life.</p><p>Chan stops to give him a reassuring nod, guessing that the baby vampire needs it. “In any case, we will be seriously outmanned. They will most likely break in through the large windows in the kitchen and the living room. The front door has been reinforced, I doubt they’ll waste time to break through there. Our plan will be to stop them from gaining ground. You will <em>throw yourselves at them</em> if necessary,” Chan emphasises, fists clenched. No one objects or questions him, even though he’s essentially abusing his power, ordering them to die for Felix and Jisung if necessary.</p><p>This is not the time to cry.</p><p>“I will take the kitchen with Seungmin. Changbin will hold the living room with Minho.” Chan speaks loudly enough for the vampires upstairs to hear.</p><p>“What about me?” Hyunjin asks.</p><p>“You will hold the hallway, prevent anyone from going upstairs. You’re the last line of defence.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t someone stay with the humans?” Seungmin asks.</p><p>Chan grits his teeth. “We don’t have the numbers. And I won’t take the fight upstairs, I won’t let her anywhere near them.”</p><p>Seungmin closes his jaw with a snap. He bows his head to Chan in submission. The display makes Chan’s heart lurch painfully.</p><p>Changbin runs down the stairs two steps at a time, Minho closely in tow.</p><p>“Our humans barred the door from the inside,” Changbin says a little breathlessly, as if he forgot to inhale before speaking.</p><p>“It’s time,” Minho chimes in. “Can you smell them now?”</p><p>Chan sniffs the air, head tilted. He’s met with a myriad of subtle scents, some quiet whispers and rustles. If Chan wasn’t paying attention, he would easily mistake them for the constant hum of the city in the background. The Parks are aiming for a complete ambush, something that is even more disgraceful and unacceptable than merely trying to overthrow an opposing clan.</p><p>Chan nods resolutely, getting into an attack stance. The others follow his lead silently. Changbin leaves for the living room, and he and Chan share one last heated look.</p><p>“Hyunjin. Don’t abandon your post. Yell for help if more than one gets through.” Chan knows the baby vampire is a good fighter for his age. He has had Felix’s blood just hours before.  </p><p>“Yes, hyungnim,” Hyunjin answers. He has never called him that unironically. But there’s not a speck of humour in his voice now.</p><p>They move into positions with deep bows that Chan almost can’t bear to receive.</p><p>It’s so silent that Chan can hear Felix’s heart beat in its familiar pattern. Changbin is pacing around in the living room.</p><p>The window shatters with a crash which resembles a lightning strike.</p><p>Chan really should have kissed Felix. He regrets not doing that so much.</p><p>Three vampires flood the room, and the first one, a tall vampire with obscenely long fangs, is brushing shards of glass off his body with his bare hands. It’s almost casual how they stroll in, thinking that they’ve already won.</p><p>Park Chaeyoung herself is nowhere to be seen, and Chan isn’t sure what it means.</p><p>But then it’s all teeth and spit, spilled blood and snapped ribs, and there are no more thoughts left.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Chan is exhausted. Cold blood hums inside his ears like it has developed a pulse of its own. Or maybe it’s the fact that he was decked over the ear by the vampire who’s now eyeing him up from the other side of the island counter, eyes gleaming in premature victory. His friend is standing behind him, leaning against the fridge door and panting in agony. Chan managed to tear his Achilles tendon quite badly, so he can no longer stand without support.</p><p>Seungmin is to his right, bleeding from a large gash on his forehead, blood dripping down into his eyes and making him partly blind. He’s hissing to a female vampire crouching on top of the dining table like an overgrown housecat. She has even decided to wear a black fur jacket to the fight.</p><p>Chan can hear Changbin and Minho in the living room, facing four vampires. If Chan can finish the other vampire quickly, he could go to help them or look for Chaeyoung himself.</p><p>But before Chan can set his plan in motion, he feels a breeze of air behind him. He turns his head to see Hyunjin running past the open kitchen door, chasing someone in a frenzy.</p><p>“Wait, don’t –“ Chan manages to yell before Hyunjin disappears around the corner to the side corridor that leads to the downstairs bedrooms.</p><p>Away from Felix.</p><p>Chan is about to lunge into the hallway to take Hyunjin’s place when the opposing vampire grabs him from behind and gets him in a tight chokehold, lifting Chan off the ground like he weighs absolutely nothing. Chan gurgles with the bulky arm over his throat, teeth snapping the air uselessly. He kicks his legs back, at the shins and knees of the other vampire, but it results in nothing but a few annoyed grunts.</p><p>It’s not fair that people used to be shorter in the 1700s. Chan used to be taller than average, big and well-built. But what he lacks in height and leverage, he makes up in pure physical strength, being one of the eldest vampires in Seoul.</p><p>His opponent gets momentarily distracted, providing Chan with a fresh set of uneven fang marks to his neck. It gives Chan just enough time to push him off balance. They tumble to the floor as all dirty fights tend to end. Chan straddles the vampire’s broad back and digs his teeth into the juncture of his ear. There’s a lot of blood and a loud scream.</p><p><em>You dislike violence</em>, a small voice of reason plays in Chan’s head. But it’s an insignificant little blip of reason.</p><p>The vampire is still screaming with a hand on where his ear used to be. Chan scrambles to his feet and spits the flap of skin out, head swimming with adrenaline. He’s losing control just like Hyunjin.</p><p>Hyunjin? Chan needs to check on Felix and –</p><p>There’s a loud crash, and the whole dining table falls over. Seungmin has one of the table legs in his fist, flailing it at the female vampire.</p><p>The vampire at Chan’s feet wails and looks up with pleading eyes.</p><p>“Get out of here or I’ll kill you,” Chan growls in a voice that he doesn’t recognise.</p><p>Seungmin sends his opponent flying to the floor. He hits her so hard in the face with his improvised weapon that the wood cracks in the middle. She has trouble getting back to her feet.</p><p>They’re actually winning this fight.</p><p>“Seungmin, are you okay?”</p><p>Seungmin is too far gone as well, hissing and clutching the table leg with white knuckles, towering over the female vampire whose nose has turned into a purplish mass of wrinkled skin and tissue.</p><p>“I’m o–okay,” Seungmin answers through his teeth.</p><p>They’ll be okay.</p><p>Chan will kiss Felix and tell him that he loves him.</p><p>Why hasn’t he said those words aloud before?</p><p>Chan is going to go upstairs and draw Felix into his arms and tell him how madly he is in love with him.</p><p>Then three more vampires jump in through the broken window.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix’s arms hurt. He and Jisung pushed Chan’s mahogany dresser against the door, and after that the both of them slid to the floor like spineless dolls with nothing better to do than <em>listen</em>.</p><p>He remembers vividly what Chan’s face looked like as he peered at him one last time, hanging over Changbin’s shoulder like a sack of wet rice. It was frozen in horror and regret. Then they were upstairs, Changbin put Felix down and pressed a dry, yearning kiss to his lips before leaving.</p><p>There weren’t any words.</p><p>Felix wraps his arms around Jisung’s shoulders, feeling cold all of a sudden. His friend is resting his head against the wall, eyelid closed and fluttering anxiously, mouth agape. He leans pliantly into Felix’s touch.</p><p>The sounds of the fight are brutal. It’s as though the entire house is getting bulldozed, ripped to tiny shreds of wood and concrete. It’s silly, but Felix thinks about all the pretty art Chan has collected over the years, if some of the invaluable pieces will get ruined beyond repair.</p><p>“Now I really wish Minho had turned me. I could protect you,” Jisung whispers.</p><p>Felix feels his eyes widen. The air in his throat tastes like iron, but he must be imagining it. ”Did you really ask to be turned?”</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>“Was that before or after you had sex?”</p><p>Jisung glances at him between his thick lashes. “What does it matter?”</p><p>“We could literally die any minute. Might as well spill the tea while waiting to get slaughtered,” Felix shrugs.</p><p>Jisung gathers a lot of air in his lungs but lets it trickle out slowly. “If you must know, it was after. But that doesn’t mean it was some endorphin-induced slip up. I simply said I would be willing to sacrifice my humanity is that meant I could continue living with you guys and Minho to myself again.”</p><p>“You sound so adult, Sungie. Talking about the future and <em>sacrificing</em> yourself.”</p><p>Jisung hums in a disregarding tone. “Haven’t you thought about it? About what it would be like to be powerful like them, free of the weaknesses of a human?”</p><p>“Sometimes, yeah. When I spend a lot of time with the hyungs, I almost start thinking like one – like my body is trying to adapt to them while the vampires try to appear as human-like as they can. Do you think I’m going crazy?”</p><p>Jisung shakes his head. Felix realises that his friend is wearing a mint-coloured jumper from Minho’s closet. The sleeves are too long for him, so he has the extra fabric balled up in his fists.</p><p>“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Jisung muses after a brief silence. “You need to make up for the difference in physical strength somehow. Fake it till you make it.”</p><p>Felix punches him in the upper arm. “You make me sound like I’m walking into a firefight armed with a toy gun.”</p><p>“But that’s how it is, at least until Minho agrees to turn me.”</p><p>Felix chews on his lower lip with a huff of uncertainty.</p><p>Jisung hushes him with a finger on his lips and pushes his ear against the wall, listening. “I think –“ he whispers almost inaudibly, “I think someone is upstairs.”</p><p>Felix tightens his hold of Jisung.</p><p>Footsteps. Swaying and feminine, soft against the harsh sounds of the fight downstairs. Someone who’s not in a hurry.</p><p>There’s a faint scratching sound, too. A set of overgrown nails scratching along the panelling. It’s teasing, mocking.</p><p>The dresser starts moving, leaving deep gashes in the floor below. Changbin said the barricade would hold no more than half a minute against a single vampire.</p><p>There’s a huge crash coming from downstairs, a choir of growling.</p><p>No one will be able to come to their rescue.</p><p>The dresser is pushed to the side just enough. First, they see a pale hand with long fingers, one Felix would recognise anywhere. Rosie Park peeks at them from the doorframe, a sugary smile on her lips.</p><p>“There you are. I missed you so much, baby,” Rosie greets cheerily.</p><p>Felix scrambles to his feet and pushes the trembling Jisung behind his own body. He’s the one Rosie is after.</p><p>The vampire is wearing high heels and jeans, heavy jewellery around her thin neck. She tilts her head and licks her lips and extended fangs with a pale pink tongue.</p><p>“That wasn’t so nice, was it? Running away from me?” She steps closer and grabs Felix by his shirt collar. Her nails scrape over his chest, but Felix keeps his expression neutral.</p><p>“You should call for help. Try it, see if anyone bothers to come,” Rosie taunts.</p><p>“Fuck you,” Felix replies. He manages to place a good kick to her shin, but it only makes her smile falter.</p><p>“Let him go,” Jisung squeaks, but Rosie ignores him.</p><p>“You were much cuter when you were being a good boy for me,” she says. “All my life I’ve had to be pretty and cute and a <em>good girl</em>, but look at me now! People admire me. People bend over backwards just to be good.”</p><p>Felix spits in her face. The big glob of drool lands under her eye, shiny and disgusting.</p><p>Rosie tuts. “Don’t worry, babe. You will learn to be good again, because you’re mine.”</p><p>She sends Felix flying backwards. His head connects with the window behind him, and the glass trembles in its frame. The pain shooting down his spine is dizzying. Felix knows he’s bleeding from the back of his head. He feels his throbbing pulse at the base of his skull, warmth dribbling down his neck and under the collar of his t-shirt.</p><p>It changes everything.</p><p>Felix has never seen a vampire go completely feral. He has heard stories of it happening, of course. Chan told that when Minho was a new-born, he attacked and killed two travellers and barely remembered anything of it afterwards. He has seen a glimpses of it in his own vampires – he remembers clearly how their eyes darkened when he offered his blood to Minho and Hyunjin.</p><p>But the unhinged expression on Rosie’s face, the way her eyes go bloodshot and manic, the way the muscles in her neck flex and fingers clench into manicured claws – nothing compares to it.</p><p>None of the plans she might have had matter no longer. She wants nothing but Felix’s blood. All of it.</p><p>Felix ducks his head. He never told Chan that he loves him. He was too big a coward, thought it was too much too soon. With Changbin he didn’t even get a chance, only vague promises and possibilities. Felix wanted so much more than that. He deserved them, and they deserved him.</p><p>Rosie approaches, ready to pounce.</p><p>“Stop,” Jisung screams.</p><p>And he tackles the vampire.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Changbin finishes his first kill with a growl. It’s a female vampire, one of Chaeyoung’s favourites. She put up a decent fight, but his fangs were quicker digging into her neck.</p><p>Changbin didn’t even notice he was swallowing. Her blood tastes almost sweet, like a mixture of old coins and cake frosting. A loose artery is hanging out of her body, slowly dripping blood onto the living room carpet. Her eyes remain open and glassy.</p><p>He closes them, leaving a streak of her own blood on her forehead like warpaint.</p><p>Before Changbin has time to get back to his feet, a new vampire vaults over the windowsill, landing on her high heels in an elegant manner.</p><p>It’s Kim Jisoo, Chaeyoung’s second in command.</p><p>She doesn’t look all too happy, eyes glued to her friend’s lifeless body on the floor. Changbin still has his hands around her shoulders, almost cradling her.</p><p>The vampire raises her remaining hand, the other one ripped off by Seungmin’s expert teeth. Her hair is pulled back from her face, and she’s wearing all black.</p><p>“Oh, Jennie,” she says rather quietly.</p><p>Changbin lets go of the body but stays low to the ground. His muscles are screaming at him, a deep gash running across his thigh, so he’d rather not put too much weight on it. Minho is still rolling on the floor with another Park vampire, so he won’t be of much help.</p><p>Changbin points at two other vampires who are lying on the floor on top of each other, still alive but gurgling weakly. It’s a warning, a chance for Jisoo to back down. She doesn’t need to know that Changbin barely has any strength left in his body, and Jisoo might be able to overpower him even with her handicap.</p><p>“Wait, I’m not here to fight.”</p><p>Changbin looks up, a low growl dying in his throat.</p><p>“I was fully on board until Chaeyoung developed this crazy obsession with your human. I swear I didn’t know the whole story. I really thought you had kidnapped him and took him as a blood slave. I do not wish to duel you without a proper challenge, nor do I want to die in vain. I have done a lot of questionable things under Chaeyoung’s command and on my own, but this –” she gestures around herself, “– this crosses even the greyest of lines.”</p><p>Changbin narrows his eyes, but he stands up fully, thighs spasming.</p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p>Jisoo grabs the stub of her missing arm. “I want you to let the rest of the clan leave. We’ll take care of the bodies. You can have Chaeyoung.”</p><p>“Chaeyoung is here?” Changbin interrupts, alarmed.</p><p>Jisoo snaps her fingers. “Answer me.”</p><p>Changbin nods. He knows he’s walking over Chan, but maybe it’s fitting. The deputies having a negotiation of their own.</p><p>Jisoo doesn’t stall after that. “Stop fighting you fools. Chaeyoung has lost her mind!”</p><p>It becomes quiet almost instantly. The vampire Minho was battling simply disengages and scurries behind Jisoo, who is unquestioningly the new clan head.</p><p>”You better hurry,” Jisoo mutters. “She entered the house minutes ago.”</p><p>A loud buzzing noise, like a swarm of bees, fills Changbin’s ears. He hasn’t smelled Chaeyoung, but the air is pungent with spilled vampire blood. If she managed to slip through at some point –</p><p>Shit.</p><p>“Chan, where are you? Hyung?” Changbin yells.</p><p>Chan emerges from the kitchen, unfamiliar blood dripping down his arms.</p><p>“There were so many,” Chan rasps, “Seungmin is hurt, why did they stop fighting?”</p><p>Changbin doesn’t bother to answer. He keeps his momentum, and Chan follows suit.</p><p>Felix’s scream pierces the air as soon as they reach the end of the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The vampire’s teeth catch Jisung just below the shoulder, and for a moment he sees her eyes up close, red and glowing like rubies.</p><p>He doesn’t feel pain, it’s as if his arm is a detached entity.</p><p>He wonders where Minho is, if he’s still safe and in one piece. He wants to see Minho one last time.</p><p>He wants to see <em>anything</em>, anything other than the vampire’s beastly face.</p><p>The vampire dislodges her teeth from Jisung’s flesh with a loud hiss or triumph, so frighteningly red, much thinner and more curved than Minho’s. She’s like an agitated rattlesnake, operating on reflexes.</p><p>She curls her fingers in Jisung’s hair, slicing his scalp open in five different places. The pain blooms like a spring flower as she yanks his head back.</p><p>The second bite is more painful than the first. Her teeth pierce his skin and then drag downward in a straight line, intent on causing pain, tearing through muscle and tendon and blood vessel.</p><p>Black dots dance in Jisung’s vision, and his whole body feels numb apart from where the vampire is attached to him. Jisung isn’t quite sure if it’s the venom seeping into his system, causing his body to shut down organ by organ, or if he’s in early stages of shock.</p><p>Somehow his eyes stay open throughout, he notices some blood splatters in the ceiling. He can hear the sound of her swallowing in long, greedy gulps.  </p><p>Jisung is glad. The vampire, Chaeyoung if Jisung’s hazy mind is providing the correct information, is hunched over him, entirely consumed by her bloodlust.</p><p>That’s why she doesn’t hear the soft footsteps behind her.</p><p>“Get the fuck away from <em>my best friend</em>, you bitch!” Felix screams.</p><p>Chaeyoung produces a high-pitched squeak, and her head snaps to the side with a dull thud. Felix is standing over them, eyes wild and beast-like, teeth bared, a heavy-looking trophy still raised over his head. The corner of the pedestal is red with blood.</p><p>“Han Jisung, you massive idiot,” Felix has time to say before the bedroom door crashes open.</p><p>No longer supported by Chaeyoung’s arms, Jisung slumps back. The back of his head catches the edge of the bed, which keeps him somewhat upright. The vampires are on Chaeyoung in a fraction of a second, bending her arms behind her back, muffling her pained snarls into the floor.</p><p>The trophy falls to the ground and breaks in two. Jisung stares at the pieces with unfocused eyes. He hopes Chan won’t miss it too much.</p><p>“He was bitten,” Felix yells over the noises of Chaeyoung putting up a weak yet loud fight. At the corner of his eye, Jisung can see her being dragged across the floor by her lavender hair. She’s kicking her feet, one of which is missing a shoe. It looks funny, but Jisung can’t manage a laugh.</p><p>Felix kneels on the floor and presses his hand down on his neck. Everything feels wet. It’s uncomfortable. There’s even some blood on the wall. How did it end up there?</p><p>Minho is there too, crouching over him on his left side. His vampire is shaking, fangs out and dripping with venom.</p><p>“He was bitten in two places,” Felix repeats, although his voice is getting distant, he’s a sea creature in an aquarium behind a thick glass and Jisung is merely an observer.</p><p>Chaeyoung screams, but that too is muffled. Jisung turns his head to see that Changbin has sunken his teeth into her arm. She’s trashing in his hold, probably causing more pain to herself in the process. Hyunjin and Seungmin are sitting on the floor, biting down on her legs.</p><p>Chan is pulling her hair so hard that it’s getting ripped out in uneven clumps. He throws his head back with a roar and bites down on her neck. Jisung can’t tear his blurry eyes away from the scene.</p><p>“They’re draining her. It’s humiliation,” Minho explains with a strained whisper. His vampire’s hands are pressing on the wound on his arm, but the blood is seeping through either way.</p><p>It’s weird that Jisung hasn’t blacked out yet. Perhaps it’s the adrenaline coursing through his veins that is keeping him from succumbing to the venom.</p><p>There’s a sudden shift, almost like multiple radio channels coming live at the same time. Jisung can feel his body again, can hear Felix’s panicked inhales.</p><p>“I can’t –“ Jisung groans, but his throat and tongue seem swollen. His whole body is burning just like last time Minho bit him. Jisung coughs, breath wheezing in the narrow passage that is left of his throat.</p><p>“I can’t breathe pr–properly.”</p><p>“He’s going into anaphylactic shock,” Felix confirms. “I saw this happen once when my friend ate something with peanuts. He’s bleeding so fast from his neck, too. When is the ambulance coming?”</p><p>Minho remains quiet, eyes pained. It must be hard for him to hold back, Jisung thinks.</p><p>At the other end of the room, Chaeyoung’s free arm is flailing weakly, but he’s no longer screaming. The vampires are spitting her blood out on top of her body, drenching her clothes and remaining strands of hair.</p><p>Chan’s voice booms over them. His chin is painted in crimson as he addresses his enemy. “I would’ve granted you a fair duel. But instead you invade our sanctuary, the home we share with our humans, try to take us by surprise.”</p><p><em>Our humans</em>. Jisung lets his body slump to the floor, the surface cool under his feverish skin. His eyes fall shut.</p><p>A smile tugs at the corners of his lips. He feels cold and euphorically light, probably from the blood loss.</p><p>Chan’s voice is suddenly closer. “You did so well Felix, held out so well.”</p><p>“Is she –?” Felix asks in a trembling voice.</p><p>“We’re taking care of her in our own way. She has proven herself unworthy of vampire blood. Human blood is lives, it fully encompasses people. That’s an ontological constant. Vampire blood has the ability to give lives, so living such a powerful existence comes with responsibility.” Chan sighs heavily, and Jisung feels a cool hand on his neck next to Felix’s, feeling his pulse. “Speaking of that, help won’t come for another ten minutes. You need to make a decision, Minho.”</p><p>How did someone have time to call an ambulance?</p><p>“He might make it,” Minho whispers.</p><p>“Or he dies,” Chan completes in a surprisingly smooth tone. Felix gasps, and his hands slip for a second. Jisung feels more blood dribbling out of his wounds and into Minho’s nice jumper. He wants to comfort them somehow, but the pain in his nerves is getting unbearable, it’s like being dipped in potent acid over and over again. It was much easier the last few times, when he just lost consciousness right away.</p><p>“The odds, Chan. Tell me,” Minho pleads.</p><p>“I don’t know Minho – his heart. It’s struggling with the venom and the blood loss, you can hear it yourself. And the swelling in his throat, too – – I would say it’s fifty-fifty at this point, but I’m not a human doctor.”</p><p>Jisung wants to say something, but he’s no longer able to open his eyes nor form full words. He tries to mouth something, but even his lips feel stiff and unresponsive.</p><p>Chan’s voice is distant again, addressing the others. “Don’t give her the mercy of a killing blow. She can lie here without blood, slowly suffering until her body shuts down. It’s suitably ungraceful, I think.”</p><p>“Felix, are you okay? You’re bleeding.” It’s Changbin’s voice, heavy and raspy.</p><p>“I’m fine, but Sungie –“ Felix sobs.</p><p>“What are you going to do, Minho?” the other vampire asks.</p><p>“I don’t know!”</p><p>“You have to make the choice, either tell Felix to lift his hands and get on with it or sit back and pray. You have no other options.”</p><p>Jisung realises that he’s finally losing consciousness, slipping, falling, retreating into the darkness. The black void is mixing with a piercing white, a highly concerning development. His heart is trashing in its cage. Maybe it’s going to burst like a grenade, slice him open with shrapnel and make him bleed out through his ribs.</p><p> </p><p>You don’t have to lose me. I just want to belong.</p><p> </p><p>You don’t have to take a chance. I took that chance for you.</p><p> </p><p>We don’t have to wander alone in the dark. We could wander together.</p><p> </p><p>The reality around him is shattering, warping, Felix’s warm hands his only anchor to the world of vampires and friends and family.</p><p> </p><p>“Felix, lift your hands.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Lift them.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to turn him.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My hands are oddly shaky now. I really hope you enjoyed this.</p><p>If you have any wishes for the epilogue, I'll be glad to hear them. It can be scenes between certain characters, fluff, steam, anything. My trembling fingers are yours!</p><p>You can also come throw fuzzy socks at me on <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> , if you prefer that to commenting on AO3.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Epilogue 1/2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The first half of the epilogue. I’m melting, send help ;_;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2023, Seoul, Republic of Korea </strong>
</p><p>Felix’s alarm decides to go off at a bad time. He was right in the middle of a nice dream, something about Chan maybe, but now there’s only a vague feeling of <em>unfinished</em> left, no actual recollection of what the dream was about. His mouth feels sleep-dry, and the bed is cold and huge and void of vampires.</p><p>The vibrations from the phone are rattling the bedside table, relentless in the soft curves of darkness. Felix reaches for the device and realises that he’s getting a call. He answers it with stiff fingers.</p><p>“Uhh h–hello?” his voice breaks in the middle of the word.</p><p>“Why are you speaking Korean?”</p><p>Felix rubs his face. “Sorry, didn’t realise. Hey sis.”</p><p>“Were you asleep? You sound sleepy. Or maybe you’re just old.”</p><p>“Don’t gatekeep. I’m allowed to sleep late if I want.”</p><p>Felix’s sister laughs. “Isn’t it like eight in the evening in Korea?”</p><p>“I had this huge school project – wait, why am I even bothering to explain myself to you?”</p><p>“Happy birthday, Felix. Mum said hi as well.”</p><p>Any mention of their parents usually feels like a spurt of sewage water straight to the face. But tonight he’s sleepy and euphoric after getting through the group project he really didn’t want to partake in, so he finds himself <em>almost</em> okay with it.</p><p>“Thank you for remembering,” Felix replies in a mellow tone.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe you could come by some time? I have my own place now, you wouldn’t need to go back ho–“</p><p>Felix isn’t sure if the line cuts off or his sister just swallows her tongue. Felix doesn’t respond.</p><p>“And I adopted a dog,” she blurts.</p><p>Felix sits up on the bed, catching himself with a little smile on his lips. “Make sure to send me a picture. But I have to run now.”  </p><p>“Sure, okay. Bye Lix.”</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p>Felix gets out of bed and wonders into his own room, albeit that he mostly uses it as a occasional study space and walk-in closet. Chan’s room is plenty big for all three of them, but it’s still nice to have some privacy when he’s bombarded with deadlines.</p><p>And in the beginning, when they were being bad and horny and Felix an emotional wreck who couldn’t handle things like an adult (and his vampires the worst kind of enablers), Seungmin actually lost his temper and exiled the trio to Felix’s room, because it happens to be farthest from his.</p><p>Not that they’re being particularly quiet these days, but at least Felix received some actual therapy.</p><p>Felix hops on his smaller and less impressive bed and pushes a yellow bird plushie aside to reach his newest favourite, a smiling wolf.  It’s kind of funny that he still doesn’t know who started his collection of soft things. The person never outed themselves, and after a year or so Felix stopped pestering everyone for an answer.</p><p>Wolf plushie still tucked under his arm, humming some catchy tune from the radio, Felix gets dressed in peace. No one apart from his sister seem willing to disturb the birthday boy and his slow evening. Sometimes Felix wonders if his clan members are a little scared of him. Or perhaps they’re worried of what his vampires would do if anyone so much as breathed in his direction with too much vigour.</p><p>After brushing his teeth, Felix pads downstairs, sporting a pair of buttercup yellow socks because why the heck not. A slice of cheap, low-fibre bread that wouldn’t be allowed inside the house under any normal circumstances, is sitting on top of a plate. There’s a shaker full of purple and blue sprinkles and a tub of butter neatly laid out on the countertop next to it.</p><p>Changbin has his whole head inside the fridge as if he’s looking for gold instead of a misplaced carton of milk. The bastard doesn’t even take a peek at his boyfriend before speaking. “Quite frankly I don’t get you Aussies at all, but you can have <em>one</em>.”</p><p>“Fairy bread is an important cultural artefact. It’s a reminder of carefree childhood birthdays,” Felix says with a faux frown of distaste. He grabs the piece of bread and starts coating the surface with a generous layer of butter. Changbin is still not looking, so he sneakily removes another slice of bread from the plastic bag forgotten on the counter.</p><p>“Of course you wouldn’t worry about diabetes and cavities when you were seven years old,” Changbin huffs.</p><p>“Diabetes? Wow, you make me feel so old.”</p><p>Changbin turns around with a bright smile on his face right as Felix is finished decorating his first slice.</p><p>“I’m still making you proper food,” Changbin says, narrowing his eyes just slightly.</p><p>Felix cuts the bread crudely in half with the butter knife and pops a piece into his mouth. He opens his arms wide.</p><p>“Hug, phease,” he mumbles around the mouthful of bread.</p><p>Changbin approaches, lowering some miscellaneous ingredients onto the counter to free his own hands. The hug feels incredibly warm despite being ice cold in a strictly physical sense. Felix keeps his fingers out-stretched because he’s got some smears of butter on them.</p><p>Changbin pulls the bread out of Felix’s mouth for a second to place a gentle kiss on his closed lips.</p><p>“Happy birthday, Lixie” Changbin says, smile only widening with the words. The vampire gets on his tippy toes to plant another kiss on his forehead.</p><p>Felix wants to stay like that forever, but he knows his time is growing short if he wants to successfully smuggle the second bread out of the kitchen. He takes his less buttery hand and spins the vampire around. “Thank you. But I’m hungry. Can you make me an omelette or something?”</p><p>“Hmm, sure.” Changbin’s voice is unconvinced. Felix has to act fast. He munches the first bread down in record time and jumps at the second slice holding the butter knife like a deadly weapon.</p><p>“Get Felix,” Changbin yells. His arms shoots out to grab Felix by his shirt, but Felix is quicker or Changbin simply lets him win. Felix dashes into the hallway, sprinting past an amused-looking Seungmin. He turns around the corner, almost slipping and falling over because his socks have zero adherence.</p><p>Felix can hear light, predatory footsteps right behind him, and not before long a pair of strong arms wrap tightly around Felix’s waist.</p><p>“I’ve got you.”</p><p>Felix wiggles in the hold and lets out a noise of frustration when there’s no give whatsoever.</p><p>Chan presses a wet kiss next to his ear. “Two slices of bread, when Binnie is working so hard on brunch? Is our birthday ttalgi getting greedy?”</p><p>Felix laughs in surprise. “Ew gross, you’ve never called me that. And don’t start, either.”</p><p>Chan chuckles against the side of his head. He keeps inhaling Felix’s scent a little too closely. It gives Felix just enough time to spin around in Chan’s hold. He kisses the vampire on the lips, and it’s delightfully sticky from half-melted sprinkles and Changbin’s vanilla chapstick.</p><p>When a slight grumble forms at the back of Chan’s throat, Felix pulls away with a satisfied smirk. “Are you hungry?”</p><p>“Are you trying to seduce me?” Chan asks, clearly trying to control his voice.</p><p>“And what if I am?”</p><p>Chan lets go of his waist. He looks oddly flustered. It’s normal for them, offering blood or sex or even just some cuddles, and it’s even more normal for them to accept whatever is offered.</p><p>“Don’t tempt me, please,” Chan says in that same strained tone.</p><p>Felix takes a quick bite of his second bread, which is buttered a bit sloppily due to time constraints.</p><p>“Are you that busy?”</p><p>Chan hums miserably. “My editor will send me into an early grave. She wants the first full draft by Monday.”</p><p>“The grave wouldn’t be that early,” Felix jokes gently. “What do you have left to work on over the weekend?”</p><p>A bright spark of excitement flashes behind Chan’s eyes. Felix regrets asking.</p><p>Chan opens his mouth to speak. “As a matter of fact –“</p><p>Loud footsteps interrupt Chan’s story. “Minho and Jisung fooled us! They caught an earlier flight and spent the day at an airport hotel. They’re coming home right now.” It’s Seungmin, holding the group chat window to Felix’s face. “This must be a birthday present for you.”</p><p>“What?” Felix nearly screams. He fumbles his pockets just to realise that his phone is still upstairs. “Did you know about this?” he asks Chan.</p><p>Chan shakes his head. He’s smiling, but the muscles in his jaw are slightly clenched.</p><p>Felix knows why.</p><p>There was a tiny little incident, almost two years ago. Jisung had just restored his Felix-privileges, and he and Minho were finally moving back to the mansion. Felix went to welcome them and pulled Jisung into a tight hug. Next thing he knew, there was a set of fangs pressing into the juncture of his shoulder. The baby vampire managed to draw a tiny droplet of blood before he was hurled into the wall by a <em>mildly irritated</em> Chan. To this day, his vampires get a little apprehensive whenever Felix gets touchy with his best friend.</p><p>Not that their fussing does anything to stop them, of course.</p><p>The couple still has their own place for when they want to be extra loud and in love. It has been a great thing for the clan’s mental health. Unfortunately, Chan hasn’t been as sold on the idea of separate flats. Most nights he’s complaining about how he isn’t a worthy leader, how he makes “mistakes” and spends too much time in his study working on personal projects – but that doesn’t keep him from dropping the leader card and the “I pay for everything around here you useless loiterers” card whenever someone dares suggest that they could perhaps get their own flat for those special occasions.</p><p>To counter Chan’s infinite stubbornness, Felix reserved a hotel room for their first anniversary, using his own money he had made working at a cat café. That night Felix unleashed some of his hidden potential and made both vampires cry at least twice.</p><p>Felix’s part-time job at the café has roused mixed reactions. Minho likes looking at cute cat pictures on Felix’s phone. Changbin complains that Felix smells like wet cat but scents him right after work anyway. Chan used to be overly pouty for having Felix less available to him, but that only lasted for a couple of months.</p><p>Felix still works the odd weekend at the café, even though he’s getting increasingly busy with schoolwork, and Chan keeps sneaking a suspiciously black credit card into Felix’s wallet whenever he’s looking the other way. It’s his way of saying that Felix is allowed to just focus on school if he wants. But in reality, Felix loves working at the café, even more than he does studying.</p><p>Hyunjin emerges in the living room, a thick book under one arm and a MacBook pinned down against his other side. He’s wearing a turtleneck and a pair of chequered trousers, looking very scholarly.</p><p>“You know that neither of us have classes tonight?” Felix asks with a raised brow.</p><p>Hyunjin nods and smiles languidly. “Happy birthday, Felix. You must be excited that Jisung is coming back.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks Jinnie.”</p><p>The vampire makes his way to the sofa. He takes his sweet time sitting down, laptop on the coffee table and the book splayed across his thighs, an old and dusty thing. Hyunjin is tracing the slightly cracked spine with his slender fingers, looking dreamy.</p><p>“You want us to ask what you’re doing, don’t you?” Felix says.</p><p>Hyunjin’s smile only widens. He licks his lips expectantly.</p><p>Felix is feeling a little mean and smug because it’s his birthday, so he only gives Hyunjin a blank stare. Chan goes along with it, placing his palm on the back of Felix’s neck but staying quiet.</p><p>“Aish, not this again,” Hyunjin groans. “But hear me out. My professor asked me to assist him with this interesting project, and I need to do some background work to .”</p><p>Chan gives in as soon as he hears the word ‘project’. He’s endlessly intrigued by Hyunjin’s studies. “What kind of research project is it?”</p><p>Hyunjin claps his hands together in triumph. “A <em>revolutionary</em> one. You know that human red blood cells can’t undergo mitosis like other cells, because they don’t have a nucleus?”</p><p>Unfortunately Felix does know that. The wonders of human blood tend to be an endless conversation topic in a house full of vampires.</p><p>“And we know that despite that, vampiric red blood cells are able to divide on their own. Until now the inner workings of vampire blood have remained a mystery. Professor Yoo’s team is getting close to solving one of the biggest enigmas of vampire biology, and they asked me to help.”</p><p>Hyunjin looks down at his hands as if great answers lie just beneath his pale skin. “This could be an advancement in human medicine comparable to the discovery of stem cells. Just think about all kinds of blood diseases that could be cured if we were able to take bone marrow out of the equation –“</p><p>Hyunjin holds a dramatic pause, or maybe he loses his train of thought.</p><p>“Sickle cell disease, polycythaemia, thalassemia, aplastic anaemia – there are no limits to how useful this research study could prove itself. Professor Yoo calls it ‘Project Blood type V’,” he concludes with a solemn expression.</p><p>Chan huffs, chest puffing from how proud he looks. “I’m sure you’ll do so well, Jinnie.”</p><p>“You deserve the position. You’ve been working as so hard,” Felix confirms with a smile.</p><p>Hyunjin eyes them up suspiciously as he opens the lid of his laptop, as if to question their enthusiasm. Felix feels a tiny pang of guilt at that.</p><p>Chan gives Hyunjin one last smile and then turns back to Felix. “Do you want to go out for dinner and drinks tonight? Or would you rather have a celebration home?”</p><p>“Jisung and Minho must be tired after the long trip. Maybe we should just stay here.”</p><p>Chan frowns. “But I want you to think of yourself for once. What do you want?”</p><p>“You,” Felix answers with a straight face.</p><p>Hyunjin hisses a warning.</p><p>“I have to get back to work. I promise to finish in an hour,” Chan whispers. Despite Hyunjin’s warning, his fingers curl around Felix’s belt loops, tugging him a little closer. “Think about where you want to go in the meantime.”</p><p>“An hour? I don’t believe you for a second. I liked you more when you had the lifestyle of a 18th century English gentleman.”</p><p>“Go have your brunch. I can smell that Changbin made you some seaweed soup,” Chan urges in a soft voice.</p><p>“Yes, Mr Darcy.”</p><p>Chan kisses him. It’s a little filthier than strictly necessary. Hyunjin makes gagging noises in the background. Felix tries to bite into Chan’s lower lip, but the vampire evades him.</p><p>Felix pouts. “I love you.”</p><p>“You’re so dumb. But I love you too, Felix.”</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Felix is almost finished with his soup and a hundred other courses of delicious food when the front door opens. He drops his spoon on the table with a clatter, and he <em>runs</em>.</p><p>Jisung is in the hallway taking off his shoes. He looks well-fed, cheeks round and rosy and eyes a warm brown. Minho looks the same way.</p><p>Felix jumps, wrapping his arms and legs around Jisung like a koala because he knows his friend won’t exactly break. Jisung catches Felix mid-air and swirls him around. Felix buries his nose in Jisung’s neck, something he does instinctively now after spending so much time around vampires.</p><p>“I missed you. I missed you so much I could kiss you,” he mumbles.</p><p>Jisung inhales a little shakily, holding in a laughter. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea we have a grand total of three vampire boyfriends and the entire clan watching us.”</p><p>“It’s my birthday, hyungs would let me get away with murder. And are you saying that we can kiss when they’re not here?”</p><p>Someone growls. Or multiple someones.</p><p>“If I say yes, Chan hyung will skin me alive. But I missed you too, Yongbokie.”</p><p>Minho clears his throat behind them, and Felix reluctantly gets down. Jisung’s fangs are exposed, just a tiny bit of pearly white against his lower lip, but his self-restraint is near perfect these days.</p><p>“How was the honeymoon?” Felix asks with a small smile, gaze flickering over to Minho and then back to Jisung.</p><p>Jisung smacks Felix in the chest. “Shut up. What honeymoon?”</p><p>“You are gone for two months, barely bother to keep in touch apart from a few measly texts, and then come back looking like two fat mosquitoes,” Felix emphasises his point by poking Jisung in the cheek. “I see you’ve been enjoying yourselves.”</p><p>“We tried this new feeding service specifically for uhh – vampire couples. It was merely a precaution to ensure that Jisung would handle the long flight back to Korea,” Minho explains sheepishly.</p><p>“Wah, everything is so progressive in the States,” Changbin comments. “Just for future reference, would they accept triads as customers as well?”</p><p>Felix fights the heat rushing to his cheeks and fails miserably. Whenever either of them, usually Changbin, mentions the possibility of turning Felix, he gets all flustered.</p><p>The three of them have a deal, it’s on paper and everything. Felix has to finish his studies and find something he enjoys doing. If he still feels that becoming a vampire wouldn’t stop him from achieving his dreams, his boyfriends have promised to <em>consider</em> it. Although Felix doesn’t think much consideration will be needed. Felix can be very convincing if he puts his mind to it.</p><p>But him being a human means that –</p><p>“Tell <em>hyungie</em> everything about the trip,” Felix says, not even trying to hide his obnoxious grin.</p><p>“I hate you and I will murder you in your sleep,” Jisung replies with a straight face and then grabs Felix back into a crushing hug. He starts scenting Felix in turn.</p><p>Chan finally gets enough of their antics and Jisung’s teeth so close to Felix’s neck, and he proceeds to dislodge the baby vampire from around Felix.</p><p>“Did you want to go out tonight? You still didn’t make a decision,” Chan says straight into Felix’s ear. The vampire’s teeth catch his earlobe in a way that is flagrantly possessive.</p><p>“Mm. I think I want to go clubbing?”</p><p>“Clubbing? Where?”</p><p>“<em>Persona</em>, maybe?” Felix suggests in an innocent tone.</p><p>Chan leans back to look Felix in the eye. “You want to go to my club? Why?</p><p>Felix smiles. “You know I have a soft spot for the place. Now that we’re all back together, it just feels right. I want to see my business hyungs as well.”</p><p>“What business hyungs,” Chan chuckles quietly.</p><p>Felix ignores him. “And besides, I want to make myself look pretty tonight, and I need an excuse for that.”</p><p>Changbin laughs. “You’re too pretty to make such an absurd claim.”</p><p>Minho lifts an eyebrow. “That was so cheesy. I’m ashamed to call you my friend at this point.”</p><p>“Just see, soon we’ll be prancing around wearing couple rings and buying each other flower bouquets,” Changbin threatens.</p><p>Chan scoffs in a weird way, like he’s choking on his own spit. Felix glances at the vampire, who averts his gaze. Changbin just keeps smiling.</p><p>“Give us an hour. Let’s get ready,” Jisung says, grabbing Felix’s hand. “I have some tea to spill. You won’t believe what Minho hyung did in Vegas.”</p><p>It must be good, because Minho shoots him a pleading look before Felix is dragged upstairs.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>“– and then Minho hyung climbed on top of a huge billboard and started reciting some old poem he used to woo people into his bed with in the 1800s. The worst part was that he skilfully replaced every ‘tender flower’ and ‘glimmering moon’ with ‘my Choco boy’. After the performance he got down and passed out on the sidewalk. When he woke up in the hotel room, he asked me to take that story to my grave. Which is obviously why I’m telling it to you right now.”</p><p>Felix is laughing so hard that his stomach is starting to cramp, and he has to gasp for air. “But Minho barely even drinks!”</p><p>Jisung smacks his lips knowingly. “That’s why he was such a dork. We lost five hundred dollars at the casino in one night. Minho had to call Chan the next evening, and he received the scolding of his lifetime.”</p><p>“Chan hyung was pissed over five hundred bucks?”</p><p>“Chan hyung is angry over everything these days, because he’s so stressed about the damn book. You just don’t get the brunt of it because he’s too smitten with your ass.”</p><p>Felix scrunches his nose, ready to argue back – but unfortunately it is kind of true. Felix might get thrown around a little in the bedroom for Chan’s stress relief, but that kind of thing is always in good fun.</p><p>Jisung takes Felix’s silence as agreement. He leans back to examine his handiwork and give Felix a handheld mirror.</p><p>Felix is fully dolled up, hair styled back and glittery eyeshadow around his eyes to make them pop. He’s even wearing a bit of foundation, not to the point of covering his beloved freckles he was once a little self-conscious of, but enough to give his skin an airbrushed glow. He’s wearing black slacks with a glossy leather belt at the waist, and a dusty pink button-up that is seductively oversized and made of a silky fabric. His earrings are platinum, a Christmas gift from Changbin.</p><p>Felix finishes the look with an elegant watch that has a thin leather strap perfectly matching the material of his belt. He once came home from campus and found it sitting on his desk with a sticky note in Chan’s handwriting, which said he shouldn’t go online to look how much it had cost. Felix obeyed easily, because otherwise he could never stomach to wear the damn thing.</p><p>Jisung is dressed in clothes shamelessly robbed from Felix’s closet, and he is wearing some makeup as well. Felix has almost gotten used to the permanent dark circles under his yes and the web of blueish grey capillaries over his temples. Under that he still looks like Jisung in many ways.</p><p>“Is Jeongin coming tonight?” Jisung asks, combing through his bangs with his fingers. His hair is a bit longer now, black and glossy and framing his forehead on both sides.</p><p>Felix hums and nods. Chan’s rule about Jeongin not being allowed into the mansion lasted for a while after the threat of the Park clan was over, but then Chan started drowning in work and it was no longer possible to keep his assistant at arm’s length.</p><p>Whenever Jeongin comes by to handle some business for Chan or Changbin, he’s promptly dragged into the kitchen and fed treats from Felix’s secret stash. Everyone calls him maknae now, and Jeongin hasn’t complained too much about the title. Seungmin even went so far as to suggest that Felix should just give up his room because he always sleeps in Chan’s bed anyway. Although it was more of a jab directed at Felix than an actual proposition.</p><p>Jisung stands up to leave for downstairs, and at the last second, Felix decides to pop open the topmost button of his shirt to emphasise how loose the neckline is on him. His plan for the night is simple. To continue teasing his hyungs into a nervous breakdown. In theory it should lead to some amazing birthday sex.</p><p>In theory.</p><p>Once Felix made his vampires jealous on purpose, pushed their buttons all night long by flashing empty smiles at some random victim at a charity event. After they got home, Felix had to sit in a chair like a good boy while Chan fucked Changbin into the mattress and then the other way around right after that. He wasn’t allowed to touch <em>anything</em>, only watch and squirm like an electrocuted eel.</p><p>But surely they wouldn’t do that to him on his birthday.</p><p>On their way to the club they pick up Jeongin, who complains that no one bothered to inform him of the nightclub dress code, even though he looks absolutely fantastic in his sleeveless shirt that reveals muscles that definitely weren’t there the last time Felix saw him without a shirt – not that he would see him shirtless particularly often.</p><p>Jeongin moved closer to the mansion a year ago when Chan signed his first publishing contract. He lives in a nice apartment above his favourite tteokbokki place and brings Felix rice cakes on a weekly basis. The two of them have a silent agreement about it.</p><p>Chan and Changbin squish Felix between their bodies the entire ride to the club. Changbin has his palm planted on Felix’s knee, a firm and demanding presence, and Chan keeps casually leaning against Felix’s side, fingers brushing the column of his neck “by accident”.</p><p>It seems that Jisung coming back and Felix making a whole scene of it, him dressing to look dangerous, and him whispering into Changbin’s ear that he keeps thinking about that one time the vampire managed to bite Felix in the neck at the same moment he came, haven’t left his vampires completely unaffected.</p><p>Felix wonders if Yoongi would allow them to use his office for a little while if the vampires end up needing some quick reassurance. Probably not, though. Not counting Felix himself, the manager is probably the only person Chan has absolutely no leverage over.</p><p>When they arrive,<em> Persona</em> is slowly filling with people, a small line outside the doors indicating that the club will soon be packed. When he still worked there, busy nights were the worst with spilled drinks and excrements and broken glass crunching against the sticky floor, but slipping into the buzzing, humming crowd feels liberating now.</p><p>Chan and Changbin seem reluctant to leave Felix’s side for a nanosecond, so he quickly decides that he needs some alcohol to get through a whole night of two vampires doing some kind of sexy bodyguard act.</p><p>He saunters off to the bar counter to order a strawberry daiquiri just because he can. Min Yoongi is there, looking cool and indifferent as always. He frowns at Felix’s extravagant drink choice and loudly complains about the fact that Felix thanked him with a letter of resignation after the manager helped save his life. But when Yoongi seems to think that Felix’s face is safely hidden behind a pink paper umbrella, he flashes a gummy smile in his direction anyway.</p><p>Kim Namjoon comes to greet him next. Chan’s closest business partner interacts more with Changbin these days, with Chan being so incredibly busy writing the next global bestseller. The good-natured man has started to treat Felix as some sort of protégée. He always asks about Felix’s studies and tries to offer him all kinds of positions in his multiple businesses.</p><p>Felix politely declines every time. Deep down he knows that he wants a quiet type of life for himself. He thinks he would be content serving customers at the cat café for the foreseeable future, living happily with his boyfriends and clan, even if it makes him a bit of a sugar baby. Studying communications in the night programme is interesting enough, and he’s happy that he will be able to graduate alongside Hyunjin, but the mere thought of running a huge business imperium makes hairs bristle at the back of his neck.</p><p>While they talk, Doctor Jung emerges from the back. He looks like a character from a daytime medical drama with a black stethoscope slung over his shoulders. Every time they happen to meet, Hoseok cracks lame jokes about Felix’s wrist, which is still visibly scarred from where he cut into it to save Changbin’s life. Felix loves the silvery scar dearly and is sad to lose it if and when he becomes a vampire himself.</p><p>Hoseok walks around the counter with unusual swagger and touches Yoongi’s elbow, just barely, and Felix has to hide behind his drink once more, because he almost can’t control his expression.</p><p>Felix turns his head to look for the others, and surprisingly the clan members aren’t too hard to locate.</p><p>Seungmin is sitting in a booth with a drink in hand, talking to some patrons. He seems to know everyone who frequents the club. Jisung on the other hand is all but grinding against Minho on the dance floor. They bathe in lime green light, swaying their hips in a way that is a little erotic. Minho’s mouth is on Jisung’s neck, perhaps sucking a mark into his skin that will fade in a few minutes no matter how big he makes it.</p><p>Felix sometimes wonders if the two of them drink from each other. Chan did bite Changbin once, in the heat of the moment, and Felix saw it happen. Changbin went all whiny and submissive right after, and Chan wouldn’t stop growling. Felix could see why it’s considered taboo, even if it was strangely hot to witness.</p><p>The daiquiri is sickly sweet under Felix’s tongue, and he wants to dance, he can feel the dance floor calling his bones. Chan is a few metres to his right, talking to Hyunjin with his teeth gleaming bright white in the dim lighting and eyes never leaving Felix. Changbin is right behind Felix. He’s just finishing his  blood martini and placing it back on the bar counter.</p><p>“Let’s go dancing,” Felix states without bothering to raise his voice or even look at his vampire. He takes a bug gulp of his drink. The taste is getting more pleasant as he goes on, because the heavier alcohol is at the bottom of the glass, cutting some of the overt sweetness.</p><p>Changbin steps forward so that Felix can hear him better. ”Dance?”</p><p>”Mm.”</p><p>”If that’s what the birthday boy wants,” Changbin agrees. His vampire is wearing tight leather trousers and a red modernised hanbok, and the combination is just explosively dangerous. His hair is back to slate grey for a change, the same colour it was when they first met.</p><p>There’s a hand on Felix’s back, nudging him forward. The air is electric as they move to the dance floor, and Felix can feel multiple gazes on them. Some look at Felix with admiration and maybe desire. Some are focused on Changbin, where his hanbok is cinched at the waist to reveal leather-clad hips and thighs.</p><p>When Felix worked at the club, he was twenty years old and a sexual object to some slimy patrons.</p><p>Now he’s twenty-three and brazen, member of a powerful vampire clan. Being casually lusted after has a whole different ring to it now.</p><p>Felix takes his free hands and pushes Changbin back, deeper into the crowd. The vampire goes willingly, bending his knees to the music already. He looks so blindingly handsome that Felix almost forgets to breathe.</p><p>The song playing is good, something rap-heavy with a trap beat underneath. Felix starts rolling his hips, playing with fire because his vampires are already on the edge. The music vibrates through his body like a vampire’s growl, and Changbin smells of mild cologne and clean laundry. Felix presses a tentative kiss on his lips, and Changbin grumbles against him.</p><p>“You have no right being so hot,” the vampire complains.</p><p>Felix giggles. The music is getting louder, the beat more urgent, their dancing less reserved.</p><p>“Is Chan hyung watching us?”</p><p>“He can’t tear his eyes away,” Changbin confirms.</p><p>It pleases Felix, the thought of Chan observing them like they’re something he owns, his playthings, simply enjoying the view of them dancing and not so subtly grinding against each other. Of course their dynamic is nothing like that in real life, but it’s an intriguing fantasy. And Chan has been neglecting them for weeks, so sue Felix for being on edge himself.</p><p>The moment of tension is a satisfyingly long one. Felix raises his arms and lets Changbin trace his fingers up his ribs, every bump pronounced under the thin, pillowy fabric. He wants to look at Chan and see his expression, but it would ruin the game.</p><p>Felix has become far too comfortable over the last few years. Too comfortable with his identity, comfortable in his body and his relationship. There are still moments of weakness and disbelief, making him doubt what he’s worth and what he deserves.</p><p>But that part of him started slowly dying a long time ago, becoming smaller and less significant as time went on. Maybe it started with his father’s walk of shame he never got to witness. With the last breath Rosie took in front of their bed, face contorted in realisation of her second and final death arriving.</p><p>And Felix was still alive.</p><p>Felix is still alive.</p><p>“Lee Felix, you’re a menace,” Changbin says into his ear.</p><p>“Yeah I am.” He’s alive and he’s obnoxious, and he has two vampires who love him all the same.</p><p>Felix throws his head back to look at his raised hands that glow neon yellow in the lights, knowing that he’s exposing his throat to Changbin. The crowd is mirroring him, the beat is dropping, Felix starts jumping.</p><p>His drink is still in his hand, but the pink umbrella is gone.</p><p>Changbin grabs his chin and tilts it down to kiss him. There’s fresh urgency in how their lips meet.</p><p>They need that office now.</p><p>Except someone knocks Felix on the shoulder.</p><p>“Come cut the cake.” It’s Jisung.</p><p>Felix steps back and faces his friend. “What cake?”</p><p>Jisung doesn’t bother yelling explanations over the blasting music. Instead, he crooks his finger from the second joint, and Felix has no other option than to follow. Changbin is right behind him.</p><p>The “birthday party” is held in the same dusty break room where Yoongi once gave Felix a strict talking-to about the importance of physical boundaries. There’s barely enough room for everyone, but he still gets some firm slaps on his back and a happy birthday song that is surprisingly in tune.</p><p>The cake is small, but it’s okay. There are only four humans to eat it as the vampires watch fondly from the back. It’s chocolate and strawberry, a weird combination but Felix doesn’t complain. All vampires seem to have a strange affection toward strawberries specifically.</p><p>“Yoongi hyung, when did you first notice I wasn’t from Wonju?” Felix asks suddenly, eyes flickering over to Yoongi who’s leaning to a metal filing cabinet that holds some receipts for drink orders. The manager smirks with two front teeth on display.</p><p>“I knew as soon as you opened your pretty mouth,” he says evenly.</p><p>“Why didn’t you call me out on it?”</p><p>Yoongi doesn’t seem to want to answer, hiding under his bangs instead. His shaggy hair is now an ashy blond, and it makes him look younger somehow.</p><p>“Go ahead,” Chan says with a sigh which very much indicates that there have been discussions between the two on the subject of Felix.</p><p>“I pitied you. I thought you were running from a bad situation and thought I should look the other direction as long as you brought me some good money.”</p><p>Pity has such a negative ring to it. Yoongi looks embarrassed, his usual mask of calm slipping.</p><p>“Thank you for pitying me,” Felix offers, and all heads turn to him. Jeongin has a mouthful of cake shoved so deep inside his mouth that he looks to be inhaling some crumbs.</p><p>Chan frowns.</p><p>“It’s not pride that got me this far,” Felix quickly explains. “And at this point, I’m way too happy to give a shit about that type of thing. It wasn’t pride that brought me to your doorstep, Chan hyung. It wasn’t pride that let me survive Rosie’s shenanigans twice.”</p><p>Chan and Changbin flinch at the mention of the dead vampire.</p><p>“When did our little ttalgi become so philosophical?” Seungmin complains.</p><p>Felix ignores him, instead fiddling with the hoop hanging from his earlobe. He doubts he’ll ever shake the habit. “Anyway, thank you for coming to my birthday party. I love you all, but the cake was dry, the ventilation in this room sucks, and I am dying to know how long Yoongi hyung has dated Hoseok hyung for.”</p><p>Felix enjoys the following silence immensely, because apparently that's the kind of person he is now.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL REALLY BE THE LAST ONE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT 어떡해~~</p><p>It will be Chan’s pov with some minsung and clan member snippets, and it's extra soft™, so excuse me while I go smother myself in a pillow :’)</p><p>I hope you’re enjoying the epilogue so far. Here’s my <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a> if you wanna be pals &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Epilogue 2/2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What comes after desperate love?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>NAVER</strong> <strong>Search History (from most recent to oldest)</strong></p><p>
  <span class="small"> [수 23:21] Couple rings engraving Seoul </span>
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  <span class="small">[수 23:17] Couple rings still cool? </span>
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  <span class="small">[수 23:15] 커플링이 뭐예요? </span>
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  <span class="small">[화 20:43] 애인에게 생일 선물 </span>
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  <span class="small">[화 20:41] Double date meaning </span>
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  <span class="small">[화 20:32] 로맨틱 데이트 서울 </span>
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  <span class="small">[월 05:13] Young human activities near Seoul </span>
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  <span class="small">[월 04:59] ‘00 남자친구 뭐 좋아해? </span>
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  <span class="small">[일 06:47] How to tell partner about past crimes? </span>
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  <span class="small">[일 06:30] 303 year age-gap too much? </span>
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  <span class="small">[일 06:01] Age-gap relationships good or bad? </span>
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  <span class="small">[토 15:13] 신메뉴 비디오 무료 온라인 </span>
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  <span class="small">[토 14:37] 딸기 야동 </span>
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  <span class="small">[금 08:07] AB형 가격 9월 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Chan is in massive trouble.</p><p>It’s past midnight, no longer Felix’s birthday, and he has yet to give the human his birthday present. He doesn’t even know if Felix would like what he has bought.</p><p>Changbin has already taken care of his part like the better boyfriend he undoubtedly is. He slipped some concert tickets into Felix’s back pocket while they were dancing together – a fully sold-out show he managed to get two good seats to by pulling all sorts of strings – meaning that he barged into Namjoon’s office and begged. Felix was over the moon when he reached for his phone in the club parking lot and found Changbin’s gift, and now the silly engraved rings in Chan’s pocket feel like the biggest joke in history.</p><p>The house is calm and silent as they arrive home. It’s four in the morning, and Felix is still buzzing with nervous energy, his little heart thumping like a rabbit’s foot against solid ground. He grabs Chan’s shoulder and whispers into his ear, saying he wants everything and he wants it <em>now</em>, and Chan nearly trips over the umbrella holder next to the front door. Felix then exchanges meaningful looks with Changbin, ones Chan can’t quite decode.</p><p>Despite the clear warning signs, Chan is too overcome by his lust to care, doesn’t know what he will be up against. The other vampires disperse, and it’s just the three of them left, the air heavy and still.</p><p>In Chan’s room, which is just their room now, the bed is unmade and inviting. Chan feels Felix’s warm palms on his jaw, Changbin’s hands circling his waist. There are some kisses first, kisses that taste like artificial strawberry and theatre smoke, and Chan can still hear the beat of the music bouncing on his eardrums.</p><p>He feels very human, out of control.</p><p>Felix falls backwards onto the bed, pliant and sweet and still glittering where rogue rays of moonlight shine on his eyelids. Chan wants to see the pretty makeup running down Felix’s cheeks by the time the night is over.</p><p>Chan makes quick work of Felix’s shirt and trousers, straddling his bare legs to get a nice view of the man sprawled open for him on the bed. There’s a buzzing noise at the back of Chan’s skull, venom at the tips of his fangs.</p><p>He needs, and Felix looks so willing.</p><p>“Can I bite?” Chan asks in a voice that is like a jar of gravel.</p><p>Something other than crushed minerals glimmers at the corner of Felix’s left eye. A slender hand shoots up to press over Chan’s cold heart, to keep him at bay. Chan can see and smell his arousal, can feel his own building up.</p><p>“Not yet. Soon,” Felix sighs.</p><p>As if on cue, Changbin emerges from nothing. He crawls on the bed all predator-like and coaxes Felix’s body into a sitting position. The vampire grabs Felix’s jaw between gentle fingers and tilts his neck back to show Chan what is on offer, and Chan is so close to <em>leaping</em>, nothing but spicy strawberry in his nose.</p><p>“What – what are you two doing?” Chan asks, half speech half growl.</p><p>“Punishing you,” Changbin states in an even voice before sinking his teeth into Felix’s exposed neck. It’s not a real feeding bite, too shallow and too far away from important blood vessels – the locations of which Chan knows by heart now. It’s just for show, to rile Chan up and to cause a tiny spark of pain their human craves.</p><p>Felix’s eyes blow wide, and he flinches at the initial feeling of the fangs piercing his neck. But then he leans into the bite, lashes fluttering, fingers coming to rest on Changbin’s forearm for support.</p><p>It’s a carefully executed choreography, Chan realises.</p><p>Changbin stops drinking after a few languid sucks, but he keeps tonguing Felix’s neck lazily, obscenely, coaxing drops of blood out before letting the wound clot, keeping strict eye contact with Chan all the way through.</p><p>“Tell me Channie hyung,” the other vampire starts in a saccharine voice, “when was the last time you tasted Felix? When did you last have him?”</p><p>Felix stares at Chan too, raised eyebrow and venom-hazy eyes.</p><p>Chan can’t really remember. Days ago. He has a vague memory of a sloppy hand job and a mouthful of blood from last Thursday, but the nights are blurring together in Chan’s mind, without defined edges.</p><p>“Did you really think you could neglect Lixie and me like that and still expect to get him all to yourself just the way <em>you</em> want?”</p><p>Chan shakes his head in shame, which makes droplets of venom drip onto the sheets below. He digs the tip of his tongue into the venom glands, but it barely helps.</p><p>“But lucky for you, Felix here is feeling forgiving, despite all that. Going to make him feel good?” Changbin asks, a little more forcefully.</p><p>Chan knows it’s a trick question, but he is one weak vampire. “Y–yeah. Will take such good care of him.”</p><p>Changbin smirks with one fingernail digging into Felix’s wound, which nearly sends Chan to re-death in one strike. Felix writhes under the touch, neck spasming and teeth catching his lower lip to stifle a whimper.</p><p>Without further negotiation, Changbin helps Felix up on his knees and starts arranging his limbs as if they are made of wet clay. Felix simply purrs and curves his spine as Changbin presses his shoulders down. He then leans forward, over the human’s back to place Felix’s palms on the mattress below him. There’s a chain around Changbin’s neck – it shifts and glints as he moves. Chan was too busy looking at Felix to even realise that the vampire had shed his clothes at some point.</p><p>Changbin meets his wondering gaze, voice like dark chocolate. “You wanted Felix? You can have him.” He grabs a handful of Felix’s hair and angles him right, offers him for Chan to <em>use</em>. His other hand is shiny and slick with lube that has appeared from thin air, and he’s asking for consent with a light pinch to Felix’s hip.</p><p>Felix’s mouth hangs open as he mutters a confirmation, tongue pink and coated in saliva.</p><p>Chan curses under his breath, praying for a sliver of self-control to not just ruin Felix. His clothes are a heap on the floor in seconds, hastily discarded, rings still in the pocket of his trousers.</p><p>But then Felix looks up into Chan’s eyes with a sickly sweet smile and <em>asks</em> to get ruined, and nothing else matters anymore.</p><p>The sounds Felix makes are beautiful. Tiny, muffled mewls in sync with Changbin’s exact rhythm. Chan will come way too soon, from the visual, from the sounds and lingering scent of fresh blood.</p><p>His human seems to sense his distress. Felix backs away for a moment, lips wet and eyes fierce. His makeup is ruined now just like Chan wanted, the tears and glitter mixing, giving his beauty an ethereal quality. Felix lowers his eyes to Chan’s thigh, opens his mouth again, canines sharp.</p><p>And sinks his teeth into the inside of Chan’s thigh.</p><p>Chan comes with a groan, it’s entirely overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time in its abruptness, no stimulation to guide him through the waves. His release is in Felix’s hair and on his neck, sliding down in pearly trails that must feel on cool on Felix’s overheated skin. For a second Chan forgets that he’s a vampire, wonders if he’ll just pass out.</p><p>Felix is still pinching his skin between closed teeth. Chan puts a hand on his neck uncaring of the mess.</p><p>“Careful baby, don’t drink.”</p><p>Felix lets go with a grin. There’s a drop of Chan’s blood on his bottom lip. Chan swipes it off with his thumb and examines the dark red of his own blood.</p><p>“Binnie, do you want a taste?”</p><p>Changbin has finished at some point, he’s pulling out with a sigh that now hitches in his throat. It’s something they haven’t done before. There are just too many instincts and dynamics involved in that. Chan often has trouble submitting to Changbin in any way even if he’s more than fine with it in a sexual or emotional sense. Felix is another thing completely, he can get under Chan’s skin with ease, using his humanity as an all-mighty weapon.</p><p>But this is a baby step – fuck taboos. Chan knows Minho allows Jisung to drink from him despite being his maker. He says it feels gloriously intimate even if his instincts are fighting back.</p><p>So when Chan sees his own finger disappearing into Changbin’s mouth and feels a velvety tongue sliding over the pad of his thumb – he temporarily forgets how to operate his facial muscles.</p><p>“You taste like the wreck of the Titanic, but this is fucking hot,” Changbin mumbles around his thumb.</p><p>“That’s oddly specific,” Felix comments, “but I have to agree kind of. Salty rust.”</p><p>“Felix, you didn’t swallow —?”</p><p>“No. Just got a little on my tongue.”</p><p>Vampire blood is very potent. It’s not exactly safe for humans to ingest, so Chan doesn’t want to take any risks. Chan wants to ask Felix to go and rinse his mouth, but the human doesn’t seem capable of such heavy exertion any time soon. Their human rolls on his back, panting. He looks thoroughly satisfied by what Changbin did to him, but Chan feels a tinge of disappointment that he wasn’t the one to make Felix feel good.</p><p>He considers giving the rings now, putting one on Felix’s flat stomach in a casual manner and pressing the other into Changbin’s palm with a quick eye contact. But according to an article he found on Naver, one should make the moment special. Memorable.</p><p>Felix’s face is flushed against the pale sheets, eyes closed half-way, lips bitten raw. Changbin places a pillow behind his back and gets comfortable, grinning in his post-orgasmic invincibility.</p><p>Every moment is special with them.</p><p>But the correct words don’t come out.</p><p>“I’m so sorry Felix. Your birthday present got stuck somewhere in post. Can you wait a few nights?”</p><p>Felix doesn’t seem offended in the slightest. Instead, he spreads his arms for a quick hug. “You know you don’t need to buy me anything. I’m practically your sugar baby already.”</p><p>“Felix...”</p><p>“But since you prepared a gift for me, I’ll look forward to it.”</p><p>Chan hums, a bottomless pit growing in his stomach. Felix once told him that he sees through Chan very easily, that he sees into his soul with one cursory glance. Chan wonders if that’s the case now, if Felix is already one step ahead of him, ahead of them both.</p><p>“I came to think of something,” Felix announces after a brief silence, staring at the ceiling.</p><p>Chan pushes the thought of the rings to the bottom drawer of his brain.</p><p>“What is it honey?” Changbin asks.</p><p>“The first time we said that we love each other. Do you remember?”</p><p>Of course Chan remembers. “Why are you thinking about that all of a sudden?”</p><p>Felix blinks, but there’s no tangible emotion on his face. “It was all so dramatic. With the both of you.”</p><p>Their human draws a deep breath. His slender chest puffs out. “Jisung was dead, the house was in ruins. You called me after I had had that MRI for my head. I still remember the antiseptic smell, the way Changbin hyung tried to make me eat something but I just wanted to throw up. I remember the way you sounded over the phone, like you thought I was going to die. And then you said those words, without warning.”</p><p>“I am –“</p><p>“I’m not finished,” Felix interrupts. Chan swallows thickly. Felix still doesn’t look at his vampires. “Then a few months later I fell of that ladder while painting the wall and hurt my shoulder a little. Changbin hyung yelled in my ear that he couldn’t lose the human love of his life to a pesky piece of aluminium.”</p><p>Felix turns his head to see their flustered faces, looking briefly at how Changbin is fidgeting his fingers. Felix’s eyes are calm and open and deeper than the .</p><p>“It took Changbin to almost die for me to realise the love between you – it took my best friend to die to make those words come out. I don’t want my first and last love to be a desperate one.”</p><p>
  <em>His first and last love.</em>
</p><p>Get the rings, Bang Chan.</p><p>Changbin leans over to kiss Felix on the lips, whispering the words their human needs to hear. Chan’s palms hurt from where his fingernails press into the flesh.</p><p>“But that was just a thought. You must be hungry,” Felix says and looks up. Chan can see the centre of the Milky Way in his eyes.</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p>Apparently it’s not okay. Felix pushes himself up, bracing his weight on his elbows.</p><p>“Bite me in the same spot where Changbin hyung did,” he suggests, neck already tilted to the side.</p><p>It gives a whole new meaning to sloppy seconds. And for some reason it’s the most erotic thing Chan has heard in a long time.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Chan is once again a prisoner of his own coincidental excellence. He’s staring at the computer screen, eyes blurry but head swimming with <em>things</em> that need and want to come out.</p><p>It really wasn’t planned. All Chan did was submit a hasty first draft for a LGBTQ+ vampire novel, and suddenly his phone was ringing every fifteen minutes, editors and chiefs and executives and their neighbours’ dogs all wanting a bite out of the “hot new thing”.</p><p>The funny thing is that there’s nothing new about the plot. A young human gets sucked into the world of vampires and faces dangers beyond imagination; hostile clans that plot to torture and kill the main character, an unexpected romance between a vampire and a human man.</p><p>But somehow it resonated, created positive buzz as the marketing people like to say.</p><p>And thus Chan is stuck with a five-book publishing deal, drama-making rights sold to fucking tvN before the first book has even officially come out.</p><p>Chan loves writing, he loves the sound of the mechanical keyboard under his fingertips, the way autumn rain hits the window behind him as he strings words together like a chain of imagined sound. The downside is that Changbin has to do actual work for the first time in centuries, which makes him extra whiny and likely to team up with Felix to cause the maximum amount of havoc.</p><p>Just like last night.</p><p>Chan gets up with a groan, determined to take a short break since his ability to focus is already in ruins.</p><p>In the living room he finds Jeongin sitting in the corner of the sofa, playing a game on his phone. He has one of Felix’s many blankets drawn over his thighs.</p><p>“What are you still doing here?” Chan grumbles. The human came by two hours ago to bring some documents to Changbin.</p><p>“I live here now,” Jeongin replies without bothering to lift his eyes from the phone screen.</p><p>“Sure you do. Did Felix ask you to stay for dinner?”</p><p>“Let’s say he did.” Jeongin looks a bit too much like Minho when he flashes Chan a foxy smile.</p><p>“Remind me to fire you.”</p><p>Jeongin hums. “I will.”</p><p>The human focuses on his phone again, fingers tapping the screen in rapid patterns. He has the volume on, and Chan finds the cheery background music of his game highly irritating.</p><p>Chan pinches the bridge of his nose. And smells a human he doesn’t know.</p><p>His eye trail automatically to the front door, where Seungmin is just slipping in, looking very much like he was hoping to go unnoticed. It’s too bad that Chan, who still has the stupid rings in the back pocket of his jeans and a deadline coming in less than 48 hours, isn’t feeling highly amicable.</p><p>He clears his throat and starts speaking in a unnecessarily loud voice. “Well well, Kim Seungmin. You smell quite sweet for a vampire who was supposed to be out getting a new pair of jeans.</p><p>Seungmin looks to the side, lips curling downward. There’s not a single shopping bag in sight. “Yeah? The shop was packed. Might’ve just bumped into someone.”</p><p>Chan wants to ask with<em> what</em> exactly Seungmin was bumping into someone, but he holds his tongue at the last second. He takes another deep breath. The human scent on Seungmin’s skin is still strong and warm like a cardamom bun, but it’s also a little confusing to his nose. Ambiguous.</p><p>“Is he... she... nice?”</p><p>Seungmin raises one eyebrow. “<em>They</em> are nice.”</p><p>Before Chan can answer, Minho appears from around the corner, ready to end Seungmin’s entire career. He walks up to the younger vampire and pulls him into a quick and needlessly aggressive hug. Then, without warning, he grabs Seungmin by the ear and starts dragging him toward the kitchen, where the vampire will no doubt be ambushed by the rest of the clan.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>Another exhausting five hours of working behind him, Chan is getting desperate. His eyelids hurt from staring at the computer screen, a dull ache radiating all the way to the backs of his eye sockets. It’s a side-effect of his supernatural eyesight being so sharp that he can make out every single pixel on the panel as though it’s the satellite view of an endless urban grid. He even has slight back pains now from sitting on his butt all day.</p><p>Maybe he’s turning into a human with the same speed Felix is becoming a vampire. Chan wouldn’t be surprised if one day they just swapped positions and went on with their life as if nothing happened.</p><p>Felix will make such a good vampire someday.</p><p>When Changbin knocks on his door, Chan is in the middle of going over one of the kissing scenes, a significant turning point in the story. He wants to make absolutely perfect.</p><p>“What is it?” he mumbles.</p><p>“I knew there was a reason why Seungmin was no longer going to the club every weekend,” Changbin states triumphantly as he barges in.</p><p>“He wasn’t going anymore?” Chan hums, eyes still trailing over the words. The scene is good, but just not <em>right</em>.</p><p>“No. And you should take a break.”</p><p>“A great idea.”</p><p>Changbin makes a strange sound with his tongue. “Maybe we should do a partner-swap with Minho and Jisung.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure – wait, what did you say?”</p><p>“I was just checking if you were paying attention,” Changbin says.</p><p>“I just really need this kiss – I mean this scene to work the way I want it to. Binnie I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t keep apologising. You know I’m really proud of you, Chan hyung. Felix is too, even when he complains.”</p><p>“I’m still sorry that I’ve been so absent lately. I’ll do better,” Chan promises softly.</p><p>“You’ll do better by taking a small break. It’s non-negotiable.” Changbin walks around the desk. “Lix was being all pouty because Minho has Jisung in his lap and he’s feeding him those plasma cubes from the freezer.”</p><p>“Why can’t you go feed him something?” Chan sighs.</p><p>“Because it’s kind of your thing. Lixie loves when you hand-feed him fruit. And you don’t get to have sex and bite him once and think you’ve magically filled your affection quota for the next century.”</p><p>Chan knows his face falls and that Changbin notices it immediately. There’s a soft hand below his chin, an encouragement.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Changbin whispers, and Chan notices himself getting up from his seat.</p><p>“Haven’t those plasma cubes been there for like over four years?” Chan asks as they make their way through the hallway.</p><p>Changbin shakes his head. “I threw those away and ordered some more. Like one and a half years ago.”</p><p>Chan flashes him a lopsided smile.</p><p>The kitchen is full of vampires and humans, only Seungmin missing after his public execution. Hyunjin is reading some book at the table, eyebrows glued to a deep frown of concentration. Jeongin is raiding the fridge for a soda. Changbin always complains that the humans eat too much sugar.</p><p>The vampire couple is sitting at the island counter, a bowl of snacks in front of them. Jisung darts his tongue out so that Minho can place a translucent cube of frozen plasma on his tongue. The young vampire starts suckling on it immediately, eyes following Minho’s fingers with a greedy expression. Maybe his gums still hurt when he is around Felix. Chan wouldn’t be too surprised by that.</p><p>Felix is eyeing his best friend with a mildly hostile expression, holding his iPad between stubby fingers but not really paying attention to whatever he has open on the screen. There are deep bags under Felix’s eyes, and Chan feels a little guilty knowing how much blood he took last night.</p><p>He shakes the icky feeling and goes to the fridge to retrieve a plastic container of fresh strawberries. Jeongin flashes Chan a small smile as their eyes meet.</p><p>Felix tries to hide his excitement – tries so hard but fails. A few months into their relationship, Chan told Felix about his initial hesitation to start feeding him. He explained the tradition of hand-feeding and what it meant, and after that Felix started opening his mouth at random, staring Chan down with love glittering near his tear ducts. And because Chan has the firmness of soft-serve ice cream, he could never say no to the silent request of his human.</p><p>Felix mirrors Jisung and comes to sit on Chan’s thighs, sideways with his socked feet dangling off to the side. Chan picks up a strawberry and plucks the stem off. Some juice trickles down Felix’s chin – it looks a bit like diluted blood. Felix hums happily, chewing the soft flesh with a pondering expression.</p><p>When Chan asks what he’s thinking, Felix nods at Jisung who looks quite pleased.</p><p>Oh, Jisung.</p><p>Chan remembers it vividly, the moment Jisung reopened his eyes and looked at Minho with enough love and hurt to set a midsummer bonfire alight. It was no more than three hours after his death, since his wounds hadn’t been as extensive as Minho’s or Hyunjin’s.</p><p>Felix’s scent was still on Chan’s hair and skin, his spilled blood lingering in the air as tiny molecules, and it made Jisung half-delirious. He started rambling something about strawberries, ripping the bed sheets into tiny shreds with nothing but his fingers. Felix himself was at the hospital with Changbin, getting a check-up after taking a blow to his head.</p><p>Just as they had a desperate baby vampire at their mercy, Changbin texted Chan to tell that Felix had gotten a mild concussion and felt ill. It was one of the toughest things Chan had ever done, separating from Felix after the fight and not dropping everything to rush to the hospital. But Felix had begged for Chan to be there for his friend. Minho had never turned a person before and didn’t know what to do. The house was in shambles, and Seungmin’s head was slashed open from eyebrow to hairline.</p><p>So Chan stayed and helped Jisung rise from his death bed with the grace of a new-born fowl. Jisung drank two whole bags of blood and started crying hysterically as soon as the bags were empty. Minho cried with him.</p><p>A few hours later Felix got the green light to leave the hospital. Jisung was put in the car, and Minho drove for over two hours to reach the small seaside cottage Chan owns near Sokcho. The location was decided for being at a convenient distance but remote enough so that Jisung could train his control somewhere with less people and less stimuli in his immediate vicinity.</p><p>They were gone for three months after that. Minho sent some pictures of their progress, of nightly walks on a deserted beach, of them sitting on a concrete pier looking at the stars above, of Jisung sketching something in a notebook, glancing at the camera’s lens with a look of mild confusion.</p><p>According to Minho, Jisung had bad pains in his gums – he was like an actual teething baby. Minho made him a leather bit he could chew on when the need to bite became too much, but it still kept them both awake during the day.</p><p>At one point Seungmin travelled to the coast to meet them, and when he came back he had only one thing to say.</p><p>“They’re heartbroken and in love.”</p><p>And Chan understood that perfectly.</p><p> </p><p>•••</p><p> </p><p>The next week is long and sticky. Chan has extensive discussions with his editor, and his book is greenlighted for the next stage of the publishing process. Changbin tells him that he saw a timid and quiet Jisoo at an event. She was there with what’s left of the old clan. Chan knows it was the right decision to let her live in the background of the society, shunned and crippled, but the mild echo of anger still sparks inside him upon hearing the words from Changbin’s mouth.</p><p>To make the week even worse for himself, Chan takes the rings out every night and weighs them in his palm like an appraiser, looks how the platinum shines in the pale moonlight, filtered through half-drawn blinds. Each ring has the engraving ‘CFC’ on the inside, because Felix is always the epicentre of their existence. Chan keeps thinking of what his boyfriends would look wearing them, thin bands glinting as proof of the fact that they belong to each other.</p><p>The concert comes and goes while Chan is in a meeting that drags on for hours. Felix comes home from it thrumming with satisfaction, hair slicked back with sweat and hair gel, flinging a colour-shifting light stick in the air. He says that he’s in love, that he has decided to open a Twitter account in honour of someone’s attractive knees. Chan doesn’t understand, feels kind of left out, but he refuses to admit to something so ridiculous when Changbin asks later.</p><p>Felix seems to have forgotten about Chan’s missing gift, or he just doesn’t bring it up.</p><p>So Chan waits, waits until he’s standing on the brink of a crumbling cliff of excuses.</p><p>It’s Sunday, Felix is still cute and excited over the last night’s concert, and Chan has to admit that he’s already in free-fall, his time run out. Felix’s exam season is about to start, and the weather is bad again, clouds heavy like they’re about to drop to the ground from the weight of the water. Chan’s anxiety starts snowballing.</p><p><em>Make it memorable. Special</em>.</p><p>At least it’s miserable enough to create memories.</p><p>Chan ambushes Felix and Changbin and says they have places to be. Felix grumbles and complains and flashes his teeth in warning as Chan wraps a bright yellow rain coat over his shoulders and pulls the hood up. Changbin refuses the raincoat, saying he can’t get sick anyway. He says wet hair makes him look sexy, which isn’t exactly a lie.</p><p>On their way, a full thunderstorm breaks out. Felix looks at the slashes of white in the distance with wide eyes. Chan remembers a time when Felix lied about being scared of the thunder.</p><p>Chan parks the car at the foot of N Seoul Tower, because according to his research it’s a popular date spot among humans. He starts walking through the pouring rain with determination that is born out of utter incompetence to do anything right. Changbin and Felix follow silently, neither one daring to whine about the weather.</p><p>Chan stops in front of one of those binocular things you can feed five hundred won coins into to get a lacklustre view of the city below.</p><p>The asphalt gleams like spilled opals below their feet. The rain water washes over Chan’s face, drips down his nose and lips. Changbin’s grey hair sticks to his forehead. Felix lowers his hood and looks up to the sky, in awe of the only light show that predates human technology.</p><p>Felix will get sick. Or struck by a lighting. Chan feels like the biggest fool of the millennium.</p><p>The rings are in the pocket of his jacket.</p><p>“What are we doing here exactly?” Felix asks, still looking at the sky above them. The tip of the tower is covered in thick fog.</p><p>“Admiring the scenery?” Changbin suggests. The cityscape is a blurry mass below them, shapes of the downtown skyscrapers barely visible in the horizon.</p><p>The rings are in Chan’s pocket, burning.</p><p>Without a coherent thought Chan lowers himself to the ground, knees touching the ice cold water that pools in the dimples of the asphalt.</p><p>The human and the vampire say nothing – they barely seem to register Chan kneeling on the wet ground.</p><p>“I have something to say,” Chan squeaks, eyes trailing up to Felix’s pointed chin that is dripping water. A lighting flashes behind the human, giving Felix a blinding halo for a split-second.</p><p>The sound of thunder follows right after, which means the storm is right over their heads.</p><p>Changbin clears his throat and Chan turns to look at him. “It’s not that important but –“</p><p>“But you’re sitting in a puddle of dirty rainwater for fun?”</p><p>“I’m getting to it,” Chan grits.</p><p>Chan’s fingers tremble as he reaches into his pocket to take out the three rings, an unorganised glint of metal in his palm.</p><p>Felix observers quietly still, but his eyes go wide.</p><p>“I – I know there cannot be human marriage for the three of us, at least not in this conservative society we currently live in. But I wanted to honour some traditions that are not strictly vampiric, because one of us is still human.”</p><p>Chan draws in a shaky breath that tastes like ozone and wet earth and strawberries. “I want to say something cheesy and embarrass myself.”</p><p>“Go ahead,” Changbin says, voice cracking in weird places in tandem with the thunder in the background.</p><p>Felix nods. His lower lips trembles.</p><p>Chan starts saying sappy things, awful, cliche sentences that twist in his mouth like slimy vine and turn into something faintly meaningful at the last moment.</p><p>He says he wants them for himself, that he doesn’t want to let go but to hold on.</p><p>He says he doesn’t want the years to slip through his fingers and then look back to see the trail of scattered memories behind him, unreachable.</p><p>He says other things, too.</p><p>He tells Changbin that he came into his life when he was lost and alone, that they became each other’s family.</p><p>He tells Felix that even gods wouldn’t be worthy of drinking his blood, that his worth knows no bounds.</p><p>Felix becomes pink and beautiful under the hammering rain. He kneels down, and Changbin follows. They are all on the ground, soaking wet. Felix shivers, but his eyes are clear and calm.</p><p>His human, their human, raises his hand, the one where a wedding ring would go.</p><p>Another lighting strikes. This time it’s so close that the hairs bristle on the back of Chan’s neck.</p><p>Chan puts the ring on.</p><p>Felix grabs the next one and slips it on Changbin’s finger.</p><p>Changbin takes Chan’s hand, gently, purposefully – and it’s done.</p><p>Felix sighs, content.</p><p> </p><p>The storm keeps raging over their heads as though a vengeful deity is throwing a temper tantrum. Enraged by the fact that for now, until his first death and perhaps the second, Felix is theirs</p><p> </p><p>    – two lowly vampires</p><p> </p><p>                and his blood is not</p><p>                            on the divine menu.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A huge thank you to everyone who has persevered with me until the end. The story and this little clan are really close to my heart, and it has made me so very happy to share their world with you. If you have any parting thoughts, I would love to hear them &lt;3</p><p>And in case you’re interested in my future works (I write both BTS and SKZ fics) or just want to be internet friends, you can always come say hi on <a href="https://twitter.com/sugamongoose">Twitter</a>!</p><p> <br/><span class="small"> P.S I clowned Channie so bad with those Naver searches, especially the ones written in Hangul... </span></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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